Sometimes we blow it.

Sometimes we blow it.  We say or do something we should or shouldn't do and we offend God or others.  It would be a valid argument that we aren't perfect and blowing it on occasion is okay.  People want each other to be better than they are.  This is most true in circles with moral compasses that reflect our belief system.  For me, that is being Christian.  That one word, Christian, is so loaded with expectations that it's frightening to me at times.  Not frightened by what God thinks but frightened at what non-believers think and expect when they first hear I am a Christian.  Then they see me blow it and I'm a perfect example of a failure to them.  Surrendering and letting Christ live through me is as difficult as I make it.  Those areas of where I haven't surrendered have at their center my selfishness.  It's likewise for non-believers though from a different prospective.  The Golden Rule is a moral compass that both groups desire to reflect to the world they live in.  Yet, we have times when our intent is over ruled by our bias and we blow it.  I wake each day with a clean slate.  So does everyone else.  It's my intention to follow Jesus and be his reflection to my world.  What makes my intention fail?  Doesn't it come from not seeing myself as Jesus sees me?  Should I take that point of view, I see that I'm not really surrendered completely to Jesus.  If I take this task to heart, I'll spend much of my time listening to God instead of myself and will do what he wants.  It's at times when I go away from that frame of mind that I blow it.  I blow it for God, others and myself.  I know that I am loved and that God understands me and who I am.  So what difference does it make how I make choices?  All the difference in the world!  What is it that people need to see of God?  People (Christian and non) need to see an reflection of Jesus.  His traits, thoughts and actions and not my feeble attempt.  This only comes about in direct proportion to how much of my life I have given up to God.  Give up a little, they see a little.  Give up a lot, they see a lot.  Does anyone really want to be the kind of Christian I currently am?  I'd better not blow it.