Sunday, August 16, 2015

Why don't Christians tell the truth?

     Christians are as uncomfortable with the truth as they are with lies.  Yet, neither lies or the truth are expressed by Christians on a consistent basis.  From the Moody Blues in their song Nights in White Satin "just what the truth is we don't know anymore" to the Roman inquisitor who states to Jesus prior to the crucifixion "what is truth?" we are left with centuries of truth and lies that many are still trying to sort out.  Throw in the political police and different "rights" groups and the "truth" get muddied even more.  There is, from birth to death, a need or want by people who believe and who don't believe, to have knowledge even if it's wrong.  Sometimes the truth is a lie of convenience.  An excuse manufactured in order to avoid the guilt otherwise felt.  What is convenient for one person becomes a stumbling block for another.  From the Pope down to the lowest of person on the spiritual totem pole, there is and has been distortions of "truth" to the point of there being no truth at all. 
     "Truth" like any word, demands a beginning.  That beginning is different from one person to the next.  One man's truth becomes another man's lie all because of how we were raised and what information was given to us.  As children we are asked to believe the "truth" without having the opportunity of knowing real "truth."  Many abused children will tell you that they were "loved" by their abuser.  They grow into adulthood with a definition of love based on a lie.  They, in turn, in spite of not being an abuser pass on this lie of a definition of love.  Pretty soon there is no differentiation that validates people even know what love is.  We tell ourselves that we do "the best we can with what we have" and call that the truth.  We don't and the statement is a lie.  We settle for less than the best, less than the truth.  We settle for the lie.
     I once came into trouble with a teacher in grade school.  I was caught passing a note.  She took offense to the note (she should have) and called my mother after I wouldn't apologize.  My mom came to school and was told about the note and contents.  My mom told me to apologize.  I refused.  It would be many years later that this situation would rise and make sense.  I was abused by my dad and grandfather.  No one had ever apologized to me.  I had no knowledge of what the definition of "I'm sorry" meant.  Why would I, a child, be expected to apologize when I didn't know what apologizing was?  The definition of "I'm sorry." came many years later in therapy.  I had no understanding until then of the process involving forgiveness.  Nor did I have any idea until then tat my world was so jaded.  Since "I'm sorry." was a lie to me, all defined words describing key elements of my life must be lies as well.  Stripped of these lie definitions I sought the true definitions of these key words and phrases in my life.  Though the work has been difficult I am glad to have made the journey.
     Whether we are in a family situation, work, friend, or even a situation with our enemies, we need to keep in mind what the truth is and what a lie is.  We recently hosted two 14 year old Chinese boys in our home for 3 weeks.  All the understanding of what China is (communist) and what that meant to me (I need to hate communism) came together with this relationship where I learned that though different people than we in the United States; that at the core they are no different from us and we are no different from them.  Just because they are Chinese (or Russian, or Cuban, or...) there is more to the picture than they are communists and we need to hate them because they hate us.  Why?  Because a definition of the "enemy" was given eons ago and no one has bothered to enter the truth into the equation since.  By the way, they liked Mac and Cheese.  They were regular, human and enlightening to me.  Not just about themselves but also about myself.  I see the Chinese people differently now.  I'm sad it took 62 years to get here.

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