I do. That's the hardest part. Admitting that something is different, out of the ordinary, a burden, or whatever you might use to describe the occurrence. I woke up this morning depressed, angry, frustrated, and quite a few other adjectives that come along with my C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Now, I need to let you know that I have my masters in theology so I know there are many verses telling me to think happy thoughts and to put everything at the cross. I also have my masters in counseling and addictions. As a result I know that there is a world of Christians out there that think "it's all in your head." or (my favorite) "that psychology stuff is all of the devil." Now that those two fallacies are exposed I can continue. I wake up this way on more than one morning a week. It doesn't make me any less of a Christian. If you wake up with these feelings and haven't been diagnosed with a mental issue; you aren't any less of a Christian either. Your faith is not necessarily the issue. It's true that we need, as Christians, a faith that sustains us. I won't argue with that. What I will argue with is how life can get overwhelming in minutes and our need to just survive trumps all else.
Mental issues have been around since the beginning of time. Oddly enough, Adam was co-dependent with Eve in eating of the forbidden fruit. Eve was narcissistic enough to take the fruit in spite of being instructed not to. Selfishness and insecurity working hand in hand. But then you don't see that today. Right! In my counseling practice years ago I had a really dedicated Christian young woman who came to me for help. She was diagnosed (by me) as schizophrenic. This was a real blow to her and her husband. However, instead of burying their heads in the sand, they became educated. Schizophrenia is inherited. Passed on through the female side of the family predominantly and that's the facts. Schizophrenia is a mental ILLNESS and cannot be cured. You can treat the symptoms and have a good life though. She decided that she would let her church know, know what they needed to do to help, and live her life in a positive manner. She had a young daughter and is rightfully concerned about her. Her husband was relieved to find an answer that was treatable.
As opposed to mental illness, mental disorders are more common. Disorders are not permanent, can be treated and people can be free from their grasp. My C-PTSD is a disorder. With treatment (counseling) and medication I am able to control the disorder and live a good life. My past is loaded with trauma from physical, psychological and sexual abuse as a child, shootings and death as a police officer, paralysis from a surgery accident and a combination of all of them. None of the events were welcome. They just were. My disorder is responsible for many of the poor choices I've made in life and also for some of the better decisions I have made. God knows what goes on in the intricacies of my mind. He says so in Scripture. He knows my thoughts and the very depths of my heart and soul. He has a plan to do me good and not bad. He has a path for me that will be used to glorify Him and to serve His people...all people. I'm not "wrong" and I'm not a burden. My situation is a gift to others.
It was very seldom that during a session a client would tell me something that I hadn't had experience with either directly or indirectly. People came to me for counseling because I could enter into their lives as a Christian and give them hope and understanding Paul talks about being all things to all people. Very few Christians in his day had endured what Paul had endured. From his miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus to his imprisonment and eventual death, Paul considered all that he went through as nothing. His eyes were set on the goal of being with Jesus for eternity. Stepping out of the box brought many to salvation and many churches planted in his ministry. In spite of his "thorn in the flesh". What was it? We don't know. It may have been his eyesight as Luke travelled with him and he used others to write his letters. It may have been his mental or physical issues. It didn't matter to Paul because, "His grace is sufficient to me." That's it really. The grace of God trumps everything.
Surrounded by the grace of God nothing can take away our joy. I live with what I opened this blog with. However, what transpires in my day does not define who I am in Christ. I can praise him when I don't know the answers, know the answers or haven't even formed the questions. My life can be viewed anywhere along the continuum from bad to good or from positive to negative. However I am a Christian despite where I land on those continuums. How about you? Do you have a struggle you have felt alone with for some time? Are you challenged every day just to get out of bed? Do you have avoidance of people, places or things because of your past? All of these you can get help for. So, Christian, go forth and be what God wants you to be.
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