How many times have you been involved in a conversation when something changes and you say, "What?" We are destined to find ourselves in this position from time to time. Subject matter changes and you are unclear if there was a time warp or you are just coming out of a coma. I can remember that happening a lot over the years. It's as if you are conversing with someone and all of a sudden they feel comfortable enough to throw you for a loop. It's not just the ADHD either. So, if you ever find yourself quietly asking yourself: "Where did that come from?" you are not alone.
The challenge of "out of the blue" conversations is to try and find the connection between what you were conversing and the newly delivered subject. You will notice that when they do this you are not being interrupted. It's more like they interrupt themselves. Not only you but also others in the conversation are left on the side of the road while person #1 drives away. That feeling of being left behind or forgotten settles on us when this happens. We expect the endless questions of small children and even the lapses in thinking for teenagers. We don't expect this with adults. Yet, it's an uncomfortable experience to say the least.
Another oddity found in other people is their presentation while in conversation. You know what I mean. You can actually see people thinking! I don't know which is more puzzling; watching the event or being the subject of the event. There are also those who seem never to exhibit any movement or emotion when they converse. In either case there seems to be a common thread for us to follow. We engage the thinker more often than the emotionless participant. Both are very real and very different at the same time. Knowing what someone is thinking is different from watching someone think. The later is more entertaining while the former prohibits long pointless conversations.
While we expect random thoughts with children, we don't expect them from adults unless the job or meeting requires spontaneous random thoughts being presented. Being able to "think on our feet" becomes a guarded precious quality with this competitive world. On the other part of the extreme there are those who "lose it" when put in this situation. They are wanting direction, any direction, that will help them get on with whatever it is that is supposed be accomplished. Along these same lines is the "thinking out loud" people who can't seem to stay quiet while their brains are awake. I confess these people drive me crazy. I'm the type that wants to hear the command and get or make things move forward. Thinking about something completed is the goal. Thinking too much is a waste of time for me. Sometimes that works for my benefit but more often to my detriment.
"It's better to close your mouth and be thought a fool than to open it and wipe away any doubt." It would be nice to see people not assuming what another person may be thinking. Likewise it would be wonderful to actually listened to and be heard. We are our own worst enemies. With our hurry up world and not time for all that needs to be said and done; we have to eliminate some of which is on our plate. This means we need to prioritize the things that we do or don't do. While we need to address the essential and important; often they are addressed best when we look at the non-essential and the unimportant. Setting the stage is good for all of us. Knowing who is at the table with you is also good for us. People know how each other think after only a short time together. Don't spend my or your time on issues that are meant to derail the process.
It's been said that: "the more things change, the more they stay the same." What is there to change in ourselves? How are we going to discover a better way to exist with our fellow strangers? The Bible says there are those who: "seeking to show themselves wise they proved their foolishness." Let's not get stuck in that realm either. I'm convinced that we can either make the most of every day and enrich lives around us or we can make the least of every day wasting what God has put before us. It's true that we don't have all the answers. Don't let that stop you from finding those answers. The process takes time and discernment. Exercise both. Both are necessary. Listen to all people and don't just "hear" them. Feel their fire and engage their excitement. Be real with others and no matter what you think; you will be respected for who you are. Whomever that might be.
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