When we “gracefully” surrender the things of our youth; two understandings are opened for us to examine. As always, we must let the Holy Spirit examine us if we are to be of any good to Jesus. The first understanding is the age of the reader. Youth is gone. Now we must surrender those elements of youth as we move into and through adulthood. We will get to the gracefully part later. Blending the Biblical imperative that love never loses faith, we can begin looking at how the two statements enhance each other. All that is required of us at this point is to be leadable, teachable and accountable. The result, should we surrender, is we receive the love, acceptance and approval that we all crave. There are truths that are absolute and those that are not. Love “never” losing faith exercises the first of those truths. It used to be said that the only for sure things to happen in one’s life would be taxes and death. While there is truth in those things, taxes are not absolute truth. That leaves us with life and death as absolute concepts meant to be examined and refined by the life we live. Taken one step further, life in relationship with the love of Jesus never leads to death. Earthly life leads to eternal life if Jesus is your Savior!
Age is relative to our state of mind. I’ve talked with 80 and 90 year old men and women who tell me they feel young and live their lives accordingly. Then again I’ve talked with people in their 40’s who complain about how old they feel. Until a couple of years ago I felt, and sometimes acted, like I was no more than 33 years old. Placed in perspective there were a lot of pluses in having that mindset. With a young mindset people don’t look at their world wondering where in the world they will get the strength to enter into one activity or another. This would include entering into the ministry as result of loving Jesus. We don’t need to make excuses. We need to accept the challenges brought to us daily. If your life has relegated you to sitting in your favorite chair with a cup of coffee; then make “praying” you’re doing something for Jesus. No one is left with an excuse for why they didn’t do anything for God. No one. I mentioned just a bit ago that up until a couple years ago I didn’t feel old. I’m 61 in another 2 months. I’ve had my share of time where I was inactive for Jesus (no that is not a calling). There was no excuse for my inactivity. I now feel my age more. It took a lot of events in my life to bring me to a point where I feel older. I still don’t feel 61. God releases Christians from service when he brings them home to heaven. In heaven we will never be old. We shouldn’t be on earth either. If you aren’t feeling old, you must be concentrating on living life to the fullest for Jesus.
Someone lately told me that they felt old. They went on to say that their physical aches and pains were slowing them down and they were less motivated to go and do what they wanted to. Their mindset was that their body was getting old and that meant they couldn’t be as active as they wanted to be. To be fair, we do slow down physically as we age. Some of the sharpest people I have met are in their late 70’s to 90’s. One must keep our stereotype in check when we are engaging believers and non-believers of all ages. My youth was marked with very little respect for anyone older than my siblings. I know that every generation has been that way to one degree or another. Time doesn’t make it right. It would be years before I realized that there were good people in the world. My rationale dictated that people who weren’t “good” were disposable and to not be trusted. I didn’t grow up in a Christian home and respect was not nurtured in me. Yet, there was something in me that told me my attitude was wrong. It was obvious to those who could see that there was little grace in my life. How could I be graceful to others if they weren’t teaching me how to be gracious? The definition of words was as skewed as my life. Let me give you an example.
In 5th grade my teacher was a lady who kept her hair up in a bee hive style. She wasn’t a bad teacher and certainly didn’t deserve my torment. One day Mrs. Birch caught me passing a note to a classmate. We had been passing notes a lot and I was surprised that I was caught. She took the note and read it as the class sat with what seemed a total lack of noise. She then told me to follow her outside the classroom. The note said, “Mrs. Birch lives in a chicken coop.” There was a crude drawing on the note as well. Once we were in the hallway and the door was closed she took out the note and said to me. “I know I don’t live in much of a house. Your note really hurt my feelings.” And “I want you to apologize.” I didn’t even need to think. I said, “No.” She asked me again after she recovered from the shock. Again I gave the same answer. She had me go back into the room. When school was out she had me stay in the classroom. She had called my mom and she was coming to the school to take care of the problem. The “problem” was me. Mom and Mrs. Birch talked alone first and then my mom asked me to apologize for the note and what it said. I said “No.” and was asked to apologize again. I now was standing my ground and said I would not. Mom took me home and lectured me. I remember now as if it was then that I didn’t have any feelings about the event. It would be years later when I was overseas in the Army that it dawned on me for the very first time. I had said “No.” because I had never been apologized to nor had I heard apologies in my home. I didn’t know what the word “sorry” meant. I was most certainly not going to do something I didn’t understand. Up until this “time” in my life overseas I had not told anyone “I’m sorry.” for anything…ever. While others may have had the luxury of a “normal” life growing up; I did not. It would be a few years later I would come face to face with all sorts of words that I didn’t understand. The world around me had one language and I had another. Learning the meanings of these words created two feelings in me. The first was anger that I didn’t know what they meant in the first place. The second was sadness over all the times events had transpired simply because I did not know what something was. I was prevented from surrendering the things of youth because I was in a prison. With new definitions coming to me for words that were in my world changed dramatically. Gradually, in my adult years I put away a lot of childish things. Even though I know the difference now, I still find circumstances where I haven’t permanently laid down this problem.
Just because we extend grace to others, we don’t necessarily do so with love or sincerity. Love was another challenging word and will be reserved for later. Love never loses faith. It’s only when we can know a bit about something that we can start to understand what’s going on. What happens from that point is up to each of us individually. Yes, we can hear and maybe even have some idea what the word (s) mean. However, coming to an understanding where we can act upon that understanding is another thing. Most people make movement through life and go from unknowing to the moment when we can say, “I understand.” When we reach that point we can begin to surrender the things of our youth. We replace them with the next phase of development in our lives. So it goes until we reach adulthood where we are supposed to be in that place where we have outgrown childish things. Ever watch parents at a soccer game or baseball game? The Christian is supposed to put away childish things or the things of our youth gracefully so that gracefully we can enlarge our faith. When we do so, people should be able to see how that process has turned each of us into a being a bit more like Jesus. None of us live perfect lives. Many of us have never thought about this topic in this way. Quite a few people have more to put away and they don’t even know it. Why? Because they don’t let the Holy Spirit speak into their life. So, instead of moving through the sanctification process they remain in the stagnation process doing little to nothing for Jesus. Our churches are full of people like this. So are the communities. All it takes for evil to triumph is for believers to do nothing. My own life has been a roller coaster with more twists and turns than I could even imagine. I’m still learning and still looking for grace. Grace given by God and others is what enables us to learn that when we make mistakes life hasn’t ended. We learn that we don’t have to stay where we have failed. Failure allows us to make an adjustment in our journey. Imagine that you are living Plan A and life is going on when you make a mistake (Plan B). Instead of the “I’ll never be able to…” you choose to give it another try; another Plan A and move forward with your new information. Life has changed and you have changed with life. You were off track and now are on a new track. Perhaps even “the” track. Don’t worry, just when your head gets big enough you (as I) will fail and fall having to learn another change in this thing we call life.
Believe it or not, it’s these failings and fallings that propel us. They either propel us to stop or they propel us to try just one more time. Hopefully we learn the lesson and won’t have to repeat the lesson. But this can’t be all there is; falling and getting up over and over? There must be something greater. The love of God demands something different. If all we are focused on is our own falling and getting up we certainly are not holding our brother or sisters hand are we? I felt, as I grew up, that I was alone. There certainly was no one there to hold my hand. It wouldn’t be until I was 20 that God would become real in my life. Then, and only then, would I come to understand the lessons of life from a grace and faith focus. Perhaps you have a similar past and current difficulty? Maybe you feel stuck after falling. Worse yet, maybe there are people in your life telling you that you have failed and am no longer able to do what Jesus asks you to do. The answer is found in the word Grace. God’s riches at Christ’s expense. Don’t listen to anyone who would dissuade you from your walk with Jesus. They have no right. Don’t listen to those who would ridicule you and your faith. They too have no right. Listening to others will not help you surrender the things of youth. Listening to others will certainly keep the love within you from growing which increases your faith.
So what is the result of our surrendering the things of youth? God tells us in the Word that we will have the Holy Spirit to encourage us and to speak into our lives. God tells us in the Word that we, should we persevere that we will overcome the trials of this world. Let’s look at the bigger picture for just a moment. We have such precious time that when God speaks we should listen. Here is what He says; “Love never loses faith.” There is that absolute word “never” yet again! Love NEVER loses faith. Even in our darkest deepest hole the love of God seeks us and rescues us from that hole. That is what God said he would do. Nothing fancy. He said that he would always love us. If our love is never to lose faith, we need to find out where we received that example. Let’s see, was it our brothers or sisters? Perhaps it was mom and dad? Grandparents, uncles and aunts come to mind. Classmates and neighbors are in the pile as well. They aren’t the first source. Where did this begin? In which generation was love manifest in your relatives. Etiology is the study of first causes. Questions like “What came before the Big Bang?” are examples of our searching for the first cause of life. There is only one source of love. God is that source. He exercised love gracefully and graciously in Jesus so that you and I can live. We were dead in sin. Now we are alive! The love of God is played out through us to the world around us.
We have so much around us that we say we love. We love our beer, car, girlfriend, husband, cigars, TV shows, and many other “things”. Love is so watered down in our current culture that it’s amazing we even use the word anymore. Remember the story I told of not knowing what “I’m sorry.” meant? Well the same goes here in my life. I don’t remember anyone telling me they loved me in any form of seriousness. There was this girl, Cheryl that told me she loved me on a school trip to the Jamestown Mental Institution. I think I was a junior in high school. I had no clue what she was saying. People in the Midwest would say in their stoic lives that people “just know we love each other.” Really!? People had no problem telling me I was stupid. They had no problem telling me I would never amount to anything. In fact, if you relied on those around me to describe me you would be left with a less than nothing description. My point is that if people find the time to tell us negative thing then they have the option to tell us positive things as well. Why is that? As much as anyone tells you they don’t live their lives by other people beliefs; we know it is not true. Maybe you have been in prison long enough. Maybe today is your day? Perhaps you have been put in a box all of your life. Maybe you have played the role assigned to you as you grew up. Have you read books on birth order? Been to enough conferences to choke a goat trying to make something work in your life? Therapy until you had no more money? Perhaps you were pushed from foster home to foster home with stops at orphanages or juvenile hall? You the one who raised your siblings because your parents wouldn’t or couldn’t? You see, there are lots of issues that block out healthy emotions including love. I have one more story from my past that will help you to understand this very difficult picture. I’ll try to be clear and concise so that no one will misunderstand my journey. In the area of insight I see the process as an evolution of “us” and not to be confused with Darwin’s theory. Remember that theories are unproven assumed facts.
My story picks up when I was 37 years old living in Chicago, IL. I was married, had two children and was in graduate school. I also realized through my own reading that I had some problems that needed attention. So, I went to a Christian therapist and began work on me. I had been in counseling for several months when I hit a wall. It was then that I began to journal about all of the issues that were complicated and preventing me from going forward. One night in counseling I asked a question that would change my life forever. I asked Dick (my therapist) if he could help me wade through a series of thoughts. He said he would and we began. My history was fraught with violence and codependency. My father would be angry about anything and I would receive the physical and psychological attack. When he would leave my mom would come to me and tell me that he really loved me and that he was just angry. This pattern was repeated from age 6 to age 14. So I asked Dick what love meant. He worked with me that night and I saw for the first time that my life had been lived on this: I knew people loved me if they hurt me. Dick told me that was a lie. My spirit agreed with that. We talked about my definitions of various other words and came to much the same conclusion. My definitions were lies programed in me by the people in my environment. And so, my search began to find out what love is and how it works. Since I was Christian, my definitions were Christ centered and became part of my life. I would love to say to you that my life became perfect and everything was just peachy in my life. Not even close. What I did discover through my work was there were people who truly did try to love me. Because I didn’t share their definition I was unable to accept their love. Instead, I looked for love in and around those who had my old definition for themselves. The knowledge I received about God’s love and the change in my life made it easier for me to love and be loved. I’m not there yet but I am further than I was yesterday.
It was this journey that led me to the “gracefully surrendering the things of youth.” They didn’t go away in a week, month or a year. I have things left to deal with. That process is fueled by faith I received from God. Jesus has given me a new lease on life and the Father has been the father I need to receive love from. Do you know who you are apart from your “family role,” “societal expectations,”? Maybe you are being manipulated by those religious people around you? Do they have the same love that Jesus does? Remember that you are able to become the adult who has moved into adulthood complete in Christ.
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