When to shut up. That sounds like it should be a class in college or even high school. Maybe even a life lesson taught to us by our parents who had learned that truth long ago. In any case, there is a need for all people to understand that the rest of us don't need to learn all of their life's cares and troubles. But the classes and parental insight don't exist for most of mankind. It's been said that we should be thought to be fools than to open our mouths and wipe away all doubt.
There are many reasons why we should guard our mouth. One would be because we don't know what we are talking about. There is an "expert" in just about every job on earth. A man once told me that he didn't need Google because his wife knew everything. He didn't appear particularly happy! The early teen years comes to mind of know-it-alls. Obviously, through their logic adults just don't know, don't understand and (feel the tears) just don't care. There has to be an app for that!
"I've been doing this job for 20 years. I don't need no young fella telling me how to do my job." Somewhere along the life line we are taught we need to earn our place. We need to earn the right to say what we say. That moment will be about the same time you and I are included in "the guys/girls" circle. Once there we can now speak but we have to wait our turn. Teaching others what you know doesn't seem to matter until those older and more experienced have run out of their ideas. Then maybe...
Sometimes we are so tempted that we hear people say, "You look like you have something to say." Don't. You won't be heard. All that will happen is you have aired what you thought was important. They didn't hear it. They were just letting you speak so you would leave the conversation When they start talking again, the subject will change and what you've said is gone. "Back in the day, children were seen and not heard." Yep, you don't count. Why waste your breath on those who don't hear.
If you are really bent on having your say; try a few of these tips. First, ask questions of the speaker. You may even be asked what you think. Direct the questions in specific direction so you can have the most valid input into the conversation. When you ask a pointed question you ARE making a statement. Perhaps you could begin by saying something that shows you respect them. Parents and organizations are doing a terrible job of teaching this. If you want to be respected, give some respect and you will most likely be able to have your say and it be heard.
Don't waste your breath on those who won't hear. They don't want to hear any opinion than their own. "But she's my mom/grandmother/aunt." "But he's my teacher, uncle, grandpa, husband." Yes, sometimes it's better to leave it alone. Don' waste you breath on those who will not hear. I'd like to suggest that at this point in any relationship there is only one solution. It's the same one that will work anywhere. Make them want what you have!
Direct the conversation so that the person hearing you comes to the point of, "Tell me what you know!" Then tell them what you know. The final lesson today is don't think you and your "stuff" is so important that you don't listen to others. You (and) are not as important as we think we are. Until we arrive at this intersection of life, you won't think like this. Listen to those who are wiser than you. They have a wealth of knowledge for you...if you would listen. They are from many different walks of life and have various backgrounds. What they have in common is that they have learned to listen respectfully and to be interactive when we are recognized. Doesn't sound like a difficult thing to do. However, there are folks who have never heard of this lesson.
In the end, you may feel like your "stuff" is better off unsaid. That's great!
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