Having been an arguing person for most of my life, it's difficult to not argue when I am opposed to something or in favor of something. I've put my foot (feet) in my mouth more times than I like to recount ending up proving myself wrong and frustrating those I'm with. Arguing has it's place in everyone's life. Ask any parent of a teenager and you can find plenty of fodder to argue over. There are times when it's simply not beneficial to even think about arguing. For instance when you are pulled over by a police officer. They're not there to argue with you. That's what the courts are for. Follow the history of the Bible and it was true then as it is now. A toddler's "NO!" is another time we can use common sense and often do when we say, "Because I said so!" "You're not the boss of me" rings true for most of my kids and brings up the need for restraint. With the age of entitlement and protection of everyone's rights over ours, we need to be careful not only what we say but what we try to get other people to believe. You might offend someone and then another argument begins. Reason is a form of argument and should be used liberally in all areas of our life along with common sense.
So, what are the guidelines for arguing? For the Christian, our witness of Christ in our lives is the first guide. If it hurts our witness of Jesus in our lives, it's generally not worth making a stand over. Jesus was adamant with those who challenged him and his ministry. We will find those who wish to do just that, disrupt our witness with pointless arguments. Speaking of which, that's where the birth of many denominations and churches come from. If it doesn't glorify God, it's generally not a fight you want to choose. The second guide is whether what you have to say is even going to be listened to! So many people come into arguments already right, decided and determined to have you wrong. It's, quite frankly, their problem. Never argue with a fool and become one yourself. Better to be thought a fool rather than to open your mouth and prove you are one! Jesus was adamant about some matters to the point where he wove together a whip and then chased the money changers out of the entrance to the temple. He was driven by a holy anger from a righteous God. Righteous anger over anything must come from the Holy Spirit. That can only come when you and I are first listening to God, second, following God, and submitted to Him. Only then can we be on solid ground speaking affirmatively into anyone's life or circumstances.
My dog, Jasmine, is a mix of Boston Terrier and Jack Russell Terrier. I've often commented that walking her is like walking a fly on a leash! To much to inspect, rabbit trails to sniff out, and of course distractions at every turn. Sometimes I have to just stop and stand still until she comes "back to center" before we can resume our walk. She'd much rather be off leash and do as she pleases. I'm like that! But, it's not beneficial for her or I to live that kind of life. We need to have guidance (for her it's me and for me, it's God) to ensure we are safe, sane and happy. As I've grown older I've followed advice I've often given to clients: don't engage arguments. It's difficult and takes discipline and restraint. I have a saying I have used for my own sanity: "I'm sorry you feel that way, I feel differently." It says, I heard you, I believe differently and I'm not going to argue. If we don't argue who will they have to argue with? If they want to know what you believe they will ask. If they aren't listening and hearing the possibility is there that they just want to start another argument. The Bible warns us to stay away from such people. The question to me is do I want people to see me as someone to stay away from? The question is one that causes me to reflect and ask the Holy Spirit if I'm that person. If I am, I need to change for the Gospel. Remember, it's always your choice!
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