Friday, January 29, 2016

Who you are when no one is looking.

     Someone is always looking at us whether we are Christian or not.  As they look they bring their own definitions of who we should be and by what standard.  I have a hard enough time pleasing me, I certainly won't be able to please them!  Just what are people looking at and what are they looking for when they look at you and I?  Are they looking for their mother, their father, the fantasy person who can make our lives "perfect"?  I guess it all depends on perspective.  We are all wounded and incomplete people trying to live out our lives in a manner that brings us some satisfaction.  We all fail and succeed depending on the day and the issues that come our way.  Assuming that we, as Christians, have arrived and don't have issues is ludicrous.  I'm living proof that we don't "arrive" until that date God has ordained for us to go home.  So, who am I and who are you when no one is looking?  We're hypocritical and fallible people who sometimes try to be better and sometimes don't care because of our selfishness.  We couch our lives around our wants and that is where we begin to get into trouble.  You are what your heart dictates.  If your heart is flawed (as it is) then so is the life you and I are living.  So, what's the problem? 
     The problem is our sense of identity.  We are who we are trained to be.  We are trained by our family, our society and our innate desire to be someone or something we are not.  It's not unusual to hear people talk about who or what they would like to be "when they grow up."  I do that all the time.  I guess by now I should have acknowledged that I'm not going to grow up.  As a therapist I looked for any tool hat I could use to help people in their quest to deal with problems.  One of the ways I did this was to ask that they consider the question "Who am I?"  People said all kinds of things but few answered the question.  I followed up the question with this question: "If everything you counted as important in your life was suddenly gone, what would be left?"  It was there that people could begin to think about their core being.  Their core being was what people saw when they looked at you and I.  We didn't necessarily see that core being because we were busy dancing with what we thought everyone else wanted us to be.  To say this is problematic is a gross understatement.
     When people come to the end of themselves and want answers I like to point to Psalm 138.  It is there that we read God's perspective of how he sees us.  It is there that we learn that we have an identity that was formed by him before we were ever conceived.  It is there that we can look at the truth of what he thinks and begin to debunk what this world has determined us to be.  When we begin to learn about how God sees us (and he is always looking in a loving manner), we can begin to live as He wants us to live.  People then can begin to see God in us instead of the world.  Consequently, when we are living the life God has given us we either attract or repel people around us.  Whether we attract or repel others isn't any of our business.  Sometimes God needs to wreck a soul before he can save it.  That's what the whole experience here on planet earth is about.  When we come to the end of ourselves we can answer that question of who am I and be that which we were designed to be.  It's a difficult process.  The first step is to consider that we've been lied to.  We have lived our lives by the definition of man instead of the definition of God.  Given the imperfection of man I think we should choose the perfection of God. He amazingly is able to convey this in such a manner that we feel that love, acceptance and approval from Him while we are yet not who we should be. 
     Who are you when no one is looking?

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