Biting my tongue

     It's a painful experience if we are talking about the actual physical action where you are about to chomp down on a nice piece of food and the side or corner of your tongue gets in the way!  The flash of pain, the head jerk and resulting words all suggest less than wonderful.  The Bible also has something to say about biting my tongue.  "Better to thought an idiot than to open your mouth and wipe away all doubt."  I was sitting at a table with a group of people and discussing aspects of our Christian lives.  Tonight's topic was in confession of sin.  It came my turn and I wasn't about to spill my guts on the sins I've committed.  Much to revealing and my trust level isn't that high anyway.  So, when asked, I told them I had this past week broken all of the 10 Commandments.  There was silence.  So, not one to keep my mouth shut, I went on to say that even if I hadn't broken them with my words or actions that thoughts do go through my head that equate to sin.  At least that's the way Jesus put it.  So, I didn't have to share specific sin that would have exposed me to those who could possibly either shy away, use it against me down the road, or love on me.  The latter seems to be least likely given my past experience with mankind.  William James once said, "There may be a God in heaven who forgives us our sins; but mankind does not." 
     Do I trust you?  Do you trust me?  Perhaps the biting of the tongue has less to do with me then it has to do with you.  Maybe it has more do with me than it has to do with you.  Perhaps avoidance of situations isn't a good thing.  Maybe confession is supposed to be healing and not punishing.  Could it be that we should look past the past and live in the present in order to hopefully help others to find Jesus?  The Christian who bites their tongue fails to speak for various reasons.  They may be under the cloak of guilt that Satan keeps reminding us we have.  See David in Psalm 51.  Do they feel unworthy to forgive themselves and then unable to forgive others in the classic struggle of what we are versus what we should be?  When I put myself down, in prison of my own making, and feel the weight of all that is wrong instead of is right, I break relationship with God and indeed bite my tongue.  I stay silent.  I don't speak up.  When I was writing my book "While I Was Still Sinning" I was told by more than one person that because of my sinful past that I didn't have any right to write the book or profess holy living to anyone.  I had somehow forfeited my right to be a Christian because of my sin.  Is this where I bite my tongue?
     The act of biting one's tongue displaces attention from whatever we were going to say or do to the pain that is now radiating throughout my mouth.  The distraction keeps us or prevents us from moving forward in the direction once started.  After biting my tongue I don't really care how good the food tastes.  All I care is how to lessen and be rid of the pain.  Eventually the pain subsides and the moment is gone.  Unable to get past the act of biting my tongue I have wandered past the moment of enjoyment.  How many of us have walked away, driven home, sat in our recliners and said, "I wish I had said something."?  I have.  Have you, like me, shied away from telling someone about Jesus because you thought you might offend them, that some of the company you are with would be offended or you didn't think you would be able to finish the task?  I have.  Biting the tongue is something we all do.  I have scars inside of my mouth where I've bitten my cheeks over and over.  Never on purpose.  Perhaps sometimes God arranges for me to bite my tongue because it's not the right time or place to say what needs to be said.  Maybe you, like me, just lack the coordination to eat a meal without doing harm to ourselves.  When it comes to your and my witness, we need to remember to not bite our tongue unless the Spirit says to do so.