Ever have one of those days you should just have stayed in bed and called it good? Yesterday was one of those for me. Nothing that took place seemed to be okay either to me or to those around me. Contention and discord were the attitudes of the day. In the end I collapsed into bed and tossed and turned wondering what I could have done differently to have avoided those elements. The answer? I could say to have stayed in bed. But avoidance isn't the best way to deal with stuff. I could have chosen to be alone. However, with family events that is rather difficult to pull off. What I could have done was to pull back, analyze the situation and given it to God. But at one critical point in the day I did not do that. Instead I became angry, raised my voice and argued a pointless point leaving behind an uneasy feeling in the room. PTSD could be my excuse as well as exhaustion. However, they would only be excuses. I could have chosen differently and earlier in the day to interrupt my downward spiral that led to the anger. As a Christian I am fallible. As a human I definitely am fallible. As a person there is no doubt. So, what do we do when we fail?
Making a study in "first causes" is something we all do. It's the original "cause and effect" logic. What happened to bring this or that to the forefront of my life? Jesus did this over and over with the people he ministered to. He always came down to the personal choice argument. He didn't make excuses for people and didn't need to defend himself. He was God and I am not. That's the first good element to acknowledge in averting disasters. Jesus reminded people that he was God and they were not. Regardless of their acknowledging him as the Lord of the universe or not, he was and is God and we are not. Because of this I am able to acknowledge that I am not perfect and that today (like yesterday) I will fail. Everyone will fail. That's the nature of the fallen creation. If we could be perfect we wouldn't be amongst the imperfect. The second element that comes into the "cause and effect" realm is choosing to accept responsibility regardless what I perceive the cost will be. Even when it means apologizing accepting responsibility is the best and only course of action. In fact, the first apology should be to Jesus. That doesn't mean mankind will forgive you. It means Jesus will forgive you.
The first cause of my day's disaster was my choosing to engage my hurt feelings and feeling sorry for myself. A small slight can drive a huge wedge in the biggest of rocks. It doesn't matter that my feelings were hurt. The Word tells us that we will be persecuted. The Word tells us to turn the other cheek. The Word tells us to forgive in order that we are forgiven by God. I fell down. Making the moment one that I could not take back. Ever feel that way? Can we just turn back the clock and erase the experience? I wish! But then, would we react any differently? I don't think so. Sometimes it takes the small things mounting up and exploding into disaster for God to work in our life. Sometimes God allows this to take place for someone else's lesson. Maybe the disaster was part of God's plan that would fulfill: "all things happen for good to those who are called to be he children of God." (my paraphrase). I'm not saying my actions and reactions combined with my words was the right thing to do. What I am saying is that I can learn from the episode and so can you and those who were around me at the time. My disaster can be used by God for good. What would happen if Christians began to live their faith as outlined by the Bible? Would there be disasters all over the place? Perhaps those who believed saw the trial and crucifixion of Jesus as a disaster. God did not. The horrible experience and historical event through the resurrection was by human standards a disaster. God took the disaster and used it as a means to reconcile us to himself.
Reconciliation is the end focus of dealing with the disaster. Put the train back on the track and keep moving. It's when the train is stopped that forward movement also stops. It's the same in my mind. When I stop and dwell there is a slow return to old thinking. There is a necessary downward spiral when the Spirit is kept from advancing in the kingdom of me. It's only when I return to the Kingdom of God that the spiral begins to climb once again. I hope my disaster has all the positive that God can bring from it. Undoubtedly there will be future disasters just because of who I am. I hope I can enter the learning phase sooner than later. Everyone will benefit.
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