When smiling doesn't work.

     For years I was able to put on the "happy face" when things weren't always happy.  Perhaps you do the same or have done the same?  People, we think, have expectations of us to always be happy, upbeat, and able to get through anything.  If only they knew...
     I don't remember ever being without my companion depression.  Not that anyone would have noticed in the past.  Hiding that which we perceive as unattractive became a way of existing outside my world.  Not being who I was seemed to be the best route at the time.  Pretending didn't always help.  Perhaps you have had the same experience?
     You see the expectations were there for us to be what other people expected.  People want to hear positive when they ask us how we are doing?  The exception is when there are losses such as the death of a loved one.  People want to be able to appear interested and caring when the reality is most don't want to have to deal with or respond to anything other than "fine."  Well, I'm not fine, never have been and will only be fine when God takes me home. 
     Now this doesn't even suggest that I currently have all of the stuff going on in my life as a lot of the causes have been addressed by God and his therapists.  Okay, medication has also helped!  Sometimes that's what it takes to overcome the situation where we don't want to smile at all. 
     With all of this in mind, I often think of the Scripture that says God won't put on us more than we can bear.  Really!?  Yes, for you see God isn't the one who puts the negative on us and our lives.  God is love and doesn't do unloving acts.  Mankind, on the other hand, has no problem of inflicting ways to keep people down.  Just how much can we take without falling into the abyss? 
     It's become clear over time that many of the issues that bring us down aren't really the problem.  It's how we handle them that causes the problem.  When we do what does work, and maintain the course God has set before us, there is life and hope!  THEN we can smile a genuine smile. 
     I still on occasion tell someone who is asking how I am the truth.  They generally don't want to hear it but they asked.  Telling the truth releases the expectation that we have to pretend.  Telling too much of the truth leads to no one wanting to be around us.  I've found a happy medium place where I can and do smile...often.