When all is said and done.

     I wonder sometimes what life would be like if we had not encountered one thing and perhaps encountered something different in our daily living.  I realize that factually the question is a mute point as our past is just that...our past.  Still, I can't help but wonder how life shaping events would have shaped our lives differently had this happened or not happened. 
     So, with this wondering going on, it's like being on a train and not knowing where I'm going.  Life is full of "what ifs" that seemingly waste our time.  Actually, we are learning from the past when we rehash events of our past playing out the story with different people, places and things.  I imagine I'm not the only one on planet earth that does this on a regular basis.
     For instance, today marks 4 years since my catastrophic surgery injury that left me initially paralyzed from the waist down.  I have replayed that day almost every day over and over.  My going over the different elements of that day have helped me heal the PTSD that resulted.  Still have the PTSD but am better at dealing with the various pitfalls that come with.  There are remaining physical damages which medication helps with.  My relationships have changed...some for the better and others for the worse.  My life was changed permanently in a few moments when people failed to do what they were supposed to do...keep me safe.
     Don't get me wrong, I know that there is nothing I can do to alter the past.  If I could do that I would address all of the regrets that have been created by me.  Still, the question remains about what all of the changes would do to my world.  Every action I take affects not only me and my personal space but also all those who interact with me.  As you read this blog, my story has it's impact on you.  If it's negatively impacting you I apologize. 
     Every action has an equal reaction.  Reverberating through the many seconds of each life connected to us, those reactions form histories of many.  Questioning how my actions and inaction as well as my frame of mind affected my Christian witness has been foremost over the years since giving my life to Christ.  I seem to have this problem with taking back that life and trying to do life better without God's input.  God has never left me even though I have had times when I left him.
     My wish, when all is said and done, is that people would be able to say that they caught a glimpse of God in my life.  When all is said and done, I hope the positive outweighs the negative.  When all is said and done I want to be able to move on rather than stay immobilized where I am.  When all is said and done nothing matters more than Jesus.  When all is said, all is done.  Peace resides.  God's blessing on you.