Once upon a time.

    Ever have a time when you reflected back on the good that happened to you and through you?  Have you been able to focus on the positive and leave the negative out of the equation?  Can you picture God caring for you and your needs without your asking?  Do you see the positive or the negative in your future?
     Just like in the fairy tale world we have expectations that are not necessarily based in reality.  That's because they are fairy tales and there are no fairies.  "And everyone lived happily ever after."  Yep, that describes my life.  Not!  In fact that statement isn't true for anyone I know.  Yet we do consider the fairy tales in our lives.  Christmas is not so much about Christ's birth or giving as it is about commercialism and what you get for Christmas presents.  If we can believe it Easter is about a rabbit laying colored eggs that we look through the grass for.  Not even close to the reality of getting up in the wee morning hours and commuting to work along with millions of others. 
     I've come across a couple (only 2) people who live and act like "happily ever after" is true.  While the rest of us may be waiting for, "Once upon a time." they seem to live in this world where there are rivers of chocolate or a car that flies.  Perhaps you even chase the leprechaun to retrieve the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  There are days dedicated to donuts and secretaries days.  However, I do not see a work for free or day off with pay holidays. 
     What happens when we set up the Once Upon a Time scenario in our lives?  The very first thing that leaves our unreal world is God.  Instead we find ourselves wanting to believe in something concocted by man.  The gambling addict who spends his paycheck before he can get home to care for his family first is one victim.  Another finds his/her bravery in the bottle behind the counter.  Still others put their comfort into believing that reality doesn't exist. 
     When the house starts to crumble we don't get someone to shore it up; we just move to another house.  The divorce and separation from your kids 2 times a month and vacation becomes your success.  Since you haven't learned, you repeat the plan again and again.  Nothing changes because you didn't change.    We can listen to all the experts, adhere to all the self-help books teachings and still have nothing if we don't seek the change in our lives.  We often don't do that because we don't know where life will lead us. 
     Rapunzel climbed down from the tower with a rope made of her own hair.  She escaped but her rescuer did not.  Happy ending?  If you are the third little pig you have a chance.  However, that's a 1 in 3 chance for you and I.  Again, we accept the 1 in 3 chance instead of going for the real deal.  We accept the imagined and neglect the proven.
     Reality is God doing what he said he would do in his time and in his own way.  The Word says he knows and takes care of all our needs.  Still we tend to try and do things our way, the comfortable way without taking chances.  Reality is waiting on God to speak before we do anything.  Waiting?!  Not really our cup of tea.  God and his choices for us are the same now as they were for Adam and Eve.  What's changed?  We've become more and more convinced that magical thinking is the best choice.
      Once upon a time God created a world and populated it with all living creatures.  Once upon a time they rebelled and chose sin over holiness.  Once upon a time God send Jesus, his Son, to earth to redeem mankind through the death burial and resurrection of Jesus.  Once upon a time someone spoke to you or someone near you about life.  Once upon a time you may have believed and then walked away.  Once upon a time God did the work for you for all of eternity.  Once upon a time mankind responded to God's pleas.  Once upon a time you and I were given the choice of following God our ourselves every single moment of every single day.  Once upon a time you and I made the choice to.....?  What is your choice?

An excuse for everything.

     I've been there and done that enough times that you would think I would change my life.  Excuses have been around every since Adam and Eve in the garden.  That's a long time!  An excuse is our word for justifying our disobedience to God.  That is also called sin...disobedience to God.  The opposite, obedience to God, needs no excuse.  When we connive an excuse there are elements of that decision that we should look at.
     First there is the intent to engage in such thinking.  Jimmy Carter, when asked if he had ever committed adultery said that he had when he had looked upon a woman with lust (Biblical definition of adultery).  He had not actually committed the act of adultery but had begun the act.  Don't raise your hand if you have done so with anyone.  We know that when we wake in the morning we are desiring to do life right.  When we don't we can trace the problem back to that part of our thinking that is run by selfishness and selfish desires. 
     As human beings our first waking moment, whether conscious or unconscious, is to be selfish in some manner.  We "deserve" or "have earned" or "want" and selfishness is born.  Very few are content with that which God has given us.  From birth to death God has promised to take care of our every "need."  No, we don't get to define what we "need" versus what we "want."  When we have defined our need; our lives become filled with excess and we begin to develop the "I deserve" attitude.  What we deserve is death because of our sin and rebellion.  What we get is grace and forgiveness.  What else do we really need?
     Second, there is the rationalization and justification process we engage in.  Over the years I became very adept at both in order to enjoy my sin, my choices.  As we engage in this step of our downfall, we begin to distance ourselves from those who would maybe question and intervene.  Our thinking takes over from where we cut God out of the equation.  Thus the second step toward our fall is set in place.  There are plenty of Christians out there who use radar detectors in their cars.  Why?  Because they intend on breaking the speed limit and don't want the consequence of the ticket. 
     Third, we bring someone with us.  Again, why?  Because  we think that if someone else is thinking, doing or saying the same thing we cannot possibly be guilty of anything.  "Look around us," we say, "everyone is doing it."  Whatever "it" is.  James 4:17 clearly states, "If we know what is right to do and do it not; we sin."  Notice the focus on doing what is right instead of not doing what is right.  Our sin is a thoughtful process that leads us to separation from God.  The question is, will we be okay without God's love in our lives.  For me the answer is "No."
     Fourth, our conscious becomes seared and becomes unnoticeable in our daily living.  It's like a couple of gears that keep a machine going.  They have teeth that interlock and when they go around they move synchronized.  Should one of the gears "strip" it's teeth, there is little or no indicator that the machine is working.  Thus so many who have a seared conscious don't even look like they feel guilty or even uncomfortable when involved in sinful living. 
     The fifth step is becoming dead spiritually.  We have chosen the road that excludes God from our lives.  Some do this with the intent to "make it right before they die."  Good luck with that!  When we make this choice, our primary emotion of thankfulness is replaced with one of selfishness.  Life that was all about God becomes all about me.  Spiritual death has taken place.  We have turned our back on the living God.
     Jesus' heart is broken when we make this choice.  The Holy Spirit has been silenced in order that we may sin.  God the Father weeps for his lost child.  BUT!!!  God never gives up.  God never stops loving.  God never places obstacles to our relationship with him.  We do that.  God is waiting with a heart full of grace for you and I when we return to him.  Every morning I am reminded that God is there with me with his heart turned towards me.  God is for me and no one can trump that. 
     Over the years of my Christian life I have occupied all of the five stages I have just described at one time or another.  I'm not proud of any of that.  I have repeatedly returned to take the grace of God once more until next time.  With every day I hope and pray that I stray from the will of God less and less.  Every morning God makes new for me and for you.  He is never more than one step away.  Waiting...

When did life get to be so fast?

     Growing up on a farm in North Dakota provided a life according to the seasons.  Being able to predict with fair accuracy what was going to happen next in our lives was fairly easy.  The seasons provided the change needed to usher in the next set of required work and play choices.  The only sport that many farm kids played was basketball because it was played during the winter months.  The need for us to be working in the field was less with snow on the ground and freezing temperatures.  The spring brought on the rush to get the crops in the ground while fall was the harvest time.  With all of this order determined by nature all that was left for people to do was comply with all that was needed for each season.
     That doesn't mean that life was slow and always predictable.  Life was a bit of both but never at the same time.  Birthing season for our animals was a rushed event and the time before and after were seasons of not much to do.  The animals pretty much took care of themselves.  The same was true for the planting season.  Preparing for and the planting of the crops was time sensitive.  Planting too soon or too late were potentially disastrous.  The time before and after were slowed down as nature pretty much took care of itself.
     My first life experience outside of the farm came with my moving out of the home and away to college.  My first job paid $1.60 per hour and I was at the mercy of my employer as to how many hours I could work.  Between going to school and working my time was taken up.  Little did I know that after leaving the farm my work, school and other obligations would eat up most of my time.  It soon became apparent that without my hours of daylight (and sometimes night time also) filled with something that I felt a sense of wasting my time.
     It wouldn't be until many years later when I suffered an injury that took me off work for 6 months that I first came to understand and engage time off.  After those 6 months I went back to work for another 6 months before I was injured again.  This time I wouldn't be going back to work with 7 major surgeries to repair all the damage I had done to my body over the years.  What happened?
     Life had happened according to plan.  My life had been set on "fast and full" for so long that I literally wore parts of my body out.  It wasn't until I was off work for those first 6 months that I had any idea of how driven and focused my life had become.  Life was fast and kept getting faster until that time that God slowed me down.  I don't mean that He had injured me; that was my doing.  I mean he allowed my "fast" life to take its toll on me. 
     In December of 2001 I was working at my "fast and full" life when I went to see my doctor on my way home from work.  I was concerned about the chest, left arm, neck and jaw were hurting.  Once hooked up and confined to a hospital bed reality began to set in.  I didn't have a heart attack.  Thank you God!  I did have a reality check.  Still, it would take until February 2006 before I would really take a good look at my life.  Time was going by at an incredible pace and I was merely a passenger on the rocket. 
     As humans, we tend to think in comparisons.  Often our "normal" view of things is really dictated by the skewed definition we live by.  I thought all kids grew up with the same conditions as I had.  I thought I was doing life as everyone else was doing life thus it had to be normal.  Time was irrelevant.  Time wasn't seen as a friend or an enemy.  Time was what others wasted and I used to the best of my ability.
     All of my preconceptions about life and time came to a screeching halt June 13, 2009.  I woke up from surgery paralyzed from my waist down.  Talk about a nightmare!  Again, laying in that hospital bed for days on end I had a chance to let God show me what his "time" and "life" was really supposed to be.  Problem was that I didn't want to hear Him.  I was driven by anger and depression.  Sitting here typing this blog today I have a different focus on my life thanks to God for slowing down my life so that I could live.
     I now have roses that I actually literally smell.  About 14 rose bushes in all.  They all smell good.  I'm 61 now and no longer am that 21 year old who was invincible.  Life hasn't changed.  I have changed.  I'm seeing and experiencing life as it was meant to be (most of the time) and enjoying some of the slowed down part more and more.  I recovered (for the most part) from the paralysis and can walk.  Damage to the nerves from my waist down are a daily reminder that I need to slow down. 
     I believe that after your 21st birthday there should be only 3 candles on your cake.  The first candle is for yesterday and all that it contains.  The second candle is for today to be enjoyed fully as God intended.  The third candle is for tomorrow and all that it holds.  In order for us to make it to the third candle we need to remember the lessons of living life too fast and choose to live today in such a way that there is a tomorrow.
     That's the way God would want it.
    

What do we really mean?

    Better yet, do we really mean what we say?  Do we really put our heart and soul into what we do?  If it was asked, what would those around us say about our commitment?  I've found myself saying to someone; "I'll pray for you for _________." and then not doing the praying.  We tend to hide behind what we say because we don't intend on doing what we say.  It's easier to say, "My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours during this difficult time." than to say, "I don't know what to say.  I'm sorry." and then shut up. 
     I used to believe that there was an answer to every question or situation.  Because of this belief others found me unbelievable or chalked it up to my "knowing it all."  I'm sorry for having left that impression to so many.  Please forgive me.  Please pray for me.  Don't tell me that you will pray for me if you won't.  I promise that in my life that is now the way I treat your issue or situation.  Don't confuse this with prayers uttered daily by some.  There are holy men and women of God who do just that.  Their prayers are essential and should never be considered otherwise. 
     I was caught in the act some years ago on a street in Chicago.  I had been in the habit of saying, "How are you?" when greeting someone.  This usually came after a "Hi." or "Good morning."  In this particular event I was on automatic pilot.  You know what I mean.  You've been there too.  I said my "Hi." and the man answered with a "Hi."  This is where I should have kept my mouth shut or been prepared to back up what I had to say.  I said, "How are you?"  I expected a one word "fine" or "okay".  What I received was, "Do you really care?"  Those 4 words stopped me dead in my tracks. 
     Because I do care about how I come across to people I stopped (even though it made me late for work.) and said, "You're the first person to have ever asked me that."  I followed up with, "I do care."  He said, "You are the first person who has stopped and answered my question."  He followed up with, "Thank you."  We talked briefly.  I was having an intimate conversation with someone whose name I did not even know. 
      He was right, you know.  He caught me as he had caught others.  We don't want to "go there" and actually be there for and with people.  "People don't care about how much you know until they know how much you care." We say things to placate people.  We ask questions we don't want to know the answers to.  We talk to keep distance between ourselves and reality.  We fail to be Christ to the world.
     I've thought about that man often over the years.  Usually when I greet someone and ask them how they are.  The difference now is that I don't usually ask the question unless I mean it and have the time to listen to an answer.  There are times when I've been asked the question, "How are you?" and I've answered, "Do you really want to know?"  People usually have one of a few responses.
      The first response is to ignore me and walk on.  I get this one a lot.  Another response is the stuttering as they try to find words.  They didn't expect any response to their question in the first place.  I like the ones where people stop long enough for their mouth to drop open before hurrying away.  There have been a few (very few) who have stopped and engaged me. 
      So, do we really mean the questions or the answers we give to others.  "Fine, how are you?"  Do we care enough to stop, listen and answer?  "Me too!  Let's have lunch."  "Say hi to the wife and family."  "I'm so sorry."  Do we care enough to stop, listen and answer?  What do we really mean when we engage others?
      I'll give you a hint.  However we interact with and treat others (even strangers) is a direct reflection on our relationship with God.  The first commandment is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and might."  What do I love that I've put ahead of God?  You won't mind if I don't answer, will you?  The second commandment is like unto the first in that we are "to love your neighbor as yourself."  What do we really mean?  Do I feed the homeless like I feed myself?  Do I love the unlovable as I love myself?  Do I care for the widows and orphans as I care for myself?  Where is my real treasure?  Do I give the treasure away?  Do I really believe that I cannot out give God.
     What do we really mean?
     Do we?
     The shame for the number of times I have violated those two commands is so immense that only the grace of God can cover them.  So, today, like yesterday, I will try to be what God wants me to be to others...all others.  He might require me to give of myself and my bounty.  So be it.  He may ask that I actually pray on the spot for someone.  So be it.  He may ask that I forsake a meal so that someone who hasn't eaten for days may.  So be it.  He may ask that I tell someone about his son, Jesus instead of rushing off to some task that I think is more important.  So be it.
    Just for today I will try to submit my day to Jesus for his purpose.  Just for today I'll try to let Him order my day according to His will and not mine.  Just for today I will try to see people (all people) like he sees them.  Just for today I'll get out of the way so His will can be accomplished according to His plan and not mine. 
     Tomorrow I'll try to do the same.  I do mean what I say.  Give me the chance to prove it.  That's what grace does.

What can I say?

     Sometimes I'm without words.  More specifically, I'm choosing to not use words.  Being able to read the situation and then take the best inaction that's on the table seems to be a good way to not deal with making choices that either upset people or create a negative environment around us.  Over the years I have learned a little about the power of words and how those words are spoken and used.  There is a big difference between; "Let's eat Grandpa!" and "Let's eat, Grandpa!"  One little comma is all that makes the difference. 
     At times I have nothing to bring to the table.  There is nothing I can add to or say differently that what has been said by the event or circumstances.  My friend Pete had been married for over 50 years when his wife died.  It wasn't expected and suddenly Pete found himself alone.  At the funeral I listened to others say various condolences to Pete.  Pete was engulfed with pain and suffering and couldn't hear any of it though he did nod his head.  When I approached Pete all I could do was hold him and cry with him.  It's what he needed.  Sometimes what we have to "say" is in our actions and has nothing to do with words.
     My friends Paul and Pam shared the news of the cancer that was killing Paul Jr.  He was 4.  What could I possibly say that would do anything to lessen the pain and suffering.  When all was said and done, there was nothing to say and nothing that could be done.  Their little boy died and their hearts were torn apart.  Sometimes it's just our presence that people want most of all.  They don't want to know what you think.  They want to know you are there.  When we are there we set aside ourselves and just be with those we love.
     When the women lamented that Lazarus was dead, Jesus responded by crying.  Shortest verse in the Bible.  "Jesus wept."  People weren't ready for the next frame of this picture.  Jesus called his friend back to a life that was not over.  The cries of, "If you had been here, he wouldn't have died!? were quickly exchanged with silence.  Nothing was said.  Quiet.  That is it.  Nothing else was called for. 
    Sometimes people want to hear what you have to say.  More often than not, people already know what you have to say.  Perceiving the gravity of the situation should be the Holy Spirit directing us to know the wants and desires of those around us.  This doesn't just apply to grief.  An angry person doesn't want to be told to stop being angry.  The frustrated individual doesn't want to be given an excuse.  The person feeling thrilled doesn't want that joy to be taken away or minimized by my comment.  We don't talk about death at our wedding or the birth of our child.  We talk about life!
     I'm one of those people who smiles on the inside.  I don't always reflect happiness with an outside expression.  Often I don't laugh at a funny situation or a joke.  But I do inside of me.  When I don't want to be told all about how I feel there are places I can go to be alone.  Silence would have helped me stay.  A hug would have held me there. 
     There have been times when people's behavior and expressions have shouted so loud I should have heard.  I'm sorry.  What powerful these two words are.  "I'm sorry." should not be accompanied with, "But..." or any other justification.  Make no excuse and only explain what is asked to be explained.  People want to know how much you care and not how much you know.  Just care for people. 
     The next time you are in a situation like those above, remember that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing.  Sometimes being right serves no purpose other than to hurt.  When you are present with someone really listen to what is NOT said as well as what is said.  Interact with people as you would like them to interact with you.  Be quiet.  Let the Holy Spirit speak to you and through you.
     I was at a point of great crisis in my life and had to go to a meeting with my peers where I know I would be evaluated and critiqued.  When I arrived at the meeting my supervisor "read" me and asked me what I needed that day.  I said, "I need to have a beer and not talk."  We went out for root beer and did not talk.  The crisis hadn't gone away but the anxiety had subsided.  Grace will do that for you and to you.
     Just for this moment of this hour of this day give yourself grace and give others grace.  You'll say more than you could believe and perhaps will hear that much too.

On Becoming Steven

     "On Becoming Steven" is a book that I am currently writing.  The book is meant to show that all of us have our own story and how that story came to be.  It's difficult writing down an internal process that seems so complicated at time.  Being able to be process and change within the very processes that I am writing about is challenging.  If I wasn't living every man's story the telling of mine would serve little purpose.  For apart from others stories, there is little need to examine or even process our past and form our future. 
     Living in Seattle, Washington, I see the Sound every day.  Sometimes there are container ships on their way to or from the port.  Containers stacked 5 or sometimes more high the whole length of the ship resemble the boxes inside of me that haven't been unloaded.  There are so many boxes!  Do I have to open all of them?  No.  Will I open all of them?  No.  Sometimes I don't have any choice in the matter as something will happen and one of the boxes will burst open piling its contents over all the rest and the ship as well.  Clean up on aisle 4! 
     Did I happen to mention that many of the containers I have no key for?  Kind of makes the daunting job just a bit more complicated.  I've done well in locking away the contents of my life.  Over the years I've realized that some of those containers are locked for good reason.  Everything we experience in any fashion from conception to death is stored in these containers.  The unconscious part of my mind knows all of these memories and releases them only when we are ready and able to deal with the content.  Only the unconscious part doesn't tell me when the new movie is coming out!
     I live with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  I need to tell you that at times PTSD is a very weird roommate.  Talk about having a mind of your own!  PTSD has a very definite mind of its own.  It's like having a roommate with schizophrenia and ADD!  Just so everyone is on the same page; my PTSD isn't dangerous to anyone.  This roommate can also be a real plus in my life.  The bad part is there is "no app for that."  My roommate is constantly trying their key on the locked containers.  Sometimes they are successful in opening one here or there.  That's when I deal with yet another layer of my life.  "On Becoming Steven" is about all of this and more. 
     There are those in my life who care about me very much.  They tell me that I shouldn't share these personal parts of me.  Their reason is that this act of openness can result in more ammunition for those who want to see me damaged in one way or another.  One of my life's mantra's is a really cool way to look at these times.  I say to myself (and sometimes others):  "What's the worst that can happen?  I die and go to Heaven?  That's not so bad!"  Yet, I know God has me here for a purpose and that purpose is being revealed day by day.
     Perhaps God has me writing this today for just one person who needed to hear they are not alone.  Maybe you needed to know that someone else thinks like you do and it's not weird.  Then again, do you know someone who can benefit from reading what is written here?  I don't believe that there are coincidences in life.  Things take place for a reason.  Our job is NOT to figure out what the reason is.  Our job is to take the knowledge and help someone else down the journey road we are on. 
     Please understand that God has been at work a long time to bring me to this point today.  I'm reminded that often we read stories or see stories on the big screen (movies for those of you who are younger) that help us to see the process and the time it takes the process to come about. 
     We read stories in the Bible like King David's interactions with King Saul who was trying to kill him.  The 23rd Psalm was written by King David during a particular situation where King Saul had cornered King David and his men in a canyon.  At just the right time King Saul received a message from one of his "runners" that the Egyptians were attacking them on the southern border.  King Saul abandoned King David and went to put a stop to the invasion.  We read about this in just a few verses.  What actually happened was quite different.
     The "runner" was most likely travelling on foot or horseback.  The trip to get the message would have taken at least two weeks.  The message from the southern outposts that they were being attacked took quite some time also.  Let's say 4 weeks total time for our discussion.  That means that God had to intervene at least 4 weeks before the confrontation between Saul and David.  The orchestration of all of the timing is incredible.  Yet, God was and is in control.  There are no coincidences in the life of a Christian.
     Even that which was intended to wreak havoc in my life is under the hand of God.  There is never too much for He and I to handle.  Though at times I have given up and he has carried me.  What has this to do with Christian living?  Everything!  The Christian is a man or woman who has given their lives to God.  In that very act we become more than conquers in this life on earth.  It's important that regardless of where we are in life that we are headed towards home where there is no pain and suffering. 
     That leads me to the place where hope springs eternal.  Not humanly hope but heavenly hope.  Heavenly hope brought us through our yesterdays, is bringing us through our todays and will bring us through our tomorrows.  In the end, we can say, "What's the worst that can happen?  I die and go to Heaven?  That's not so bad!"  See you there!
    

Please understand me!

     In our relationships difficulty exists in our understanding of others and their understanding of us.  The means by which we understand others and they understand us is biased by so many variables.  So, we take the complexity and set it aside and attempt to fit people into our molds of who we think they should be.
     "He is just like his father!" can be said in a positive or negative connotation but ultimately takes away any thought of our individuality.  "The apple doesn't fall very far from her tree!" and other quips relegate us to preformed conclusions drawn from comparison rather than actual knowledge.  "He/she lives in THAT part of town!" indicating good or bad choices.  "That group is up to no good and you might have guessed she/he would be part of the group."
     While I was a mental health counselor I discovered there were basically two categories of clients.  The first were those who were concerned about whether or not I had the qualifications to help them or someone they were attached to.  The second group were those who didn't care about what I knew but wanted to know how much I cared.  The former would gaze at my diplomas and the latter group would look at my heart and listen to my words.  Seeing them as individuals was more about dispelling that which was not true than it was about their associations.
     I've been prejudiced in my past.  As a police officer I worked the midnight shift voluntarily because people fit into one convenient category.  If you were out and about after I came onto shift; you were guilty.  I made this decision for primarily selfish reasons.  If I saw all people in this light I had a higher chance of going home alive in the morning.  Doing so put everyone on the same level...suspect.  It was a matter of personal survival to me.  That's not to say that everyone was guilty as not everyone was.  My "preconceived notion" was more a safety measure than anything. 
     "Why can't you behave like your sister/brother!?"  "You are who you associate with."  "They hung out with the wrong crowd."  "That Steven Hawley is up to no good."  "You can see it in his eyes.  I don't trust his eyes."  "You give them an inch and they will take a mile."  I think you get the picture and it's not very positive. 
     Years ago I read a book entitled: "Do I Have to Give Up Me to be Loved by you?"  Incredible book!  Whenever we are feeling like we have to give up our individuality in order to be okay with someone else or some group, we are in a dangerous position.  One from which we need to run away.  I'm not saying that everything inside of me is lovable because it isn't.  What I am saying is that I'm more than your opinion of me.  I'm more than your stereotype of me.  I'm more than what you've heard or seen about me.  I'm not who you perceive me to be.  I'm much more than others think I am. 
     So, we are left with the big question.  The big question is; "Do I want to get to know you?"  Do I want to take that chance to see the real you?  Do I dare lay aside my preconceived notions and actually take the time to get to know, to understand, you?  What a delicate balance!  I believe that we are more than the sum of other people's opinions. 
     Who is Steve Hawley?  What makes him tick?  What does he stand for?  What does he stand up to?  Where are his lines in the sand?  What are his likes and dislikes?  How do I get to know him?  Do I want to get to know him?  Can I trust him?  Does he believe like me?  What does he believe in?  What ticks him off?  Who does he hang around with?  Why is he so ______?  The questions can go on and on if you like.  They will never get to the core issue.  The core issue is whether or not you want to understand me. 
     Understanding me (and my understanding you) begins with an open mind and not a biased one.  Understanding me involves listening AND hearing me.  Understanding me isn't about getting me to be more like so and so.  Understanding me means respecting what I believe in.  Understanding me means you have thrown out the classification of some mental health book.  Understanding me is to let me by me.  Please understand me.
     Here is the final caveat for today.  I will try to understand you as Jesus understands you.  I will do this whether or not you try to understand me.  Understanding you is second to my wanting to understanding God.  I may not like what you say or stand for but I will respect you and your stands taken in this world.  God tells us that he understands us.  There is more to it than just understanding us for God.  He understands us AND looks toward who we are becoming.  He knows who we are.  He created us. 
     I want to be understood by God, others and myself.  I believe you do as well.  I'll try my hardest to do my part in understanding you.  Would you do the same for others?

I thought it would be easy!

     "Easy" should be stricken from the dictionary.  At least in my case.  Most of my life has been lived out with "difficult" or "what happened?" as the predominate theme.  There have been times when there has also been the positive.  We often don't reflect on the positive.  That would ruin a perfectly good funk and we can't have that!
     My first mistake in any given day is thinking.  Not always a good thing.  I once went to pick up 4 maple trees with my Ford Explorer.  When I arrived each were in a 2 foot square box and they were about 20 feet tall.  So, with the help of my son, I laid down the rear seat and proceeded to put all four in the back of the Explorer.  With the nose pointed up and 20 feet of tree hanging out the rear I travelled about 10 miles to the location where I was to plant them.  What a sight!  Everyone thought I was crazy.  Okay, maybe I was a little crazy.  The theme in my life is "whatever it takes".  That's not always a good thing and is often is not easy.
     Thinking doesn't always just pertain to me.  Often I have companions in my folly.  I went to pick up some free new lumber from a construction site in downtown Seattle.  My wife went along.  That was the first mistake.  The second was filling the Expedition I was driving with enough lumber to make a small house.  The construction site people kept shaking their heads and laughing as 24 foot long pieces of lumber went in and stuck out of the Expedition.  My wife, bless her soul, didn't feel safe so she moved to the back seat!  So with the nose pointed up and the rear almost to the ground I drove the back streets home.  She hasn't gone with me since!
     I've created an ongoing litany of events in my life that have most people laughing.  Some were fearful but later laughed.  I grew up with some principles that have taken me to this point.  The first principle is believing that I can do anything that comes my way.  I wasn't even a Christian at the time!  The second principle is that of cunning determination.  With my mind I imagine what accomplishing something looks like and then my face is set to accomplish that which I put my mind to. 
     On more than one occasion I have turned something easy into difficult and vice-versa.  One element in my life that has continued to aid me in my conquering life is that of determination.  People over the years have told me:  "You can't do that." or "That's impossible." in order to help me adjust to their reality.  I may not do it perfectly, as intended or with little effort.  But, I have done it (whatever "it" is).  Lots of negativity have been thrown my way.  The fact that this happens is evidence to me that often I am on the right track.  Being not easily dissuaded is a good thing to a point.  Giving up easily is not a good thing either. 
     Yesterday I was challenged.  Tomorrow I will be challenged.  Today I will also be challenged.  I won't base my actions and reactions on yesterday or tomorrow.  Each day is made new and we are told that we are to take life one day at a time.  God said that our focus should be on now.  Not yesterday as we can do nothing to change it.  Not tomorrow because the troubles of today are sufficient.  God wants us to stay present in the present and rely on him.  If I look at yesterday and tomorrow in everything I do today life gets difficult.  Looking at today through God's eyes makes life easy even when it seems like it's not. 
     Just for today I will try to keep life simple and easy.  That gives me time for another cup of coffee.  Maybe even a couple.  Take it easy and have a blessed day.

Sometimes when we least expect it, life happens (or something like that)!

     When I think of the events of my life, most of them were unexpected. That was until I was past the event and looked back at how they came about.  How much do we really expect to happen in our lives versus much unexpected happens to us?  Our expectations are built on experience, knowledge and dumb luck.  Dumb luck?  Yep. 
     We have so much that we credit dumb luck to, but call it by many different names.  For instance, we have experiences that go back to when we have our first memory.  Those memories form the basis of how we interpret and look at our world.  We gain a mount of knowledge from both education and experience and apply those bits of knowledge to our lives in hope that they will somehow be better.  Then there is dumb luck.
     You are sitting at a desk in 6th grade taking a geography test when you have a brain freeze.  The question is before you but it could have just as well been written in German.  So, you take your best educated guess and throw up your hands.  Later you find out that your answer was right!  Dumb luck. 
     The questions get tougher and tougher as life goes on and the answers are harder and harder to get right.  While in the 6th grade you had your teacher who was surprised at you getting it right; your friends didn't really care either way.  The need to be right was for one person, your teacher.  Later in life that could be the same thing with another adult, your boss, your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend or other person in your life. 
     The dilemma surfaces with the introduction of intimacy (not talking about sex yet).  The more intimate the relationship, the more making the right choice, decision, or action is scrutinized.  Often this invasion into your psyche is unwanted even if the answer is potentially right.  We don't like to have our private world lived publicly.  Intimacy is meant to be between one or a few but never by the general population. 
     My life is no different than yours.  Well maybe in some areas.  I look back over much of my life and still ask; "What happened?"  The only answer I can come up with is either Murphy's Law or life happened.  These equally frustrating events/laws are what makes us or breaks us.  That goes for all areas of life.  Wishing and wanting won't make things better or worse.  Neither will dumb luck.  What makes things better or worse is our action or our inaction.
     I've gone fishing many times and sometimes even caught some fish.  It took a few years to discover this but I discovered that fishing isn't about catching fish.  It's about distraction, evasion, and time of few expectations.  In a boat or dock, line in the water, no cell phone signal, couple of sandwiches and something to drink and no one around.  Except that person next to  you who is there for the same reason...to escape.  Dumb luck takes over and you catch a fish or become this other person's counselor. 
     Sometimes I go to a populated location and find a place to sit and just watch people in whatever they are doing.  They range from the lost to the impatient.  Their motives are both public and private either leading to choices that they may or may not want to make.  Life happens and dumb luck throws the choice at their feet.  With a shrug of the shoulders they enter this restaurant or that one randomly.  So they think!
     Church is a real interesting place to watch people.  Often, however, it's my internal self that is being watched.  Hoping that this or that example doesn't make it into the sermon as you are uncomfortable enough with the dumb luck of the past week.  So we squirm, go out to the bathroom, get another cup of coffee, fall asleep or just stare like a deer into headlights as life happens. 
     Perhaps we expect too much out of life or too little?  What then should our expectations be?  I believe the fewer expectations you have of others the least likely it becomes something that can hurt you.  Conversely, the more expectations you have of yourself the less likely you will do nothing.  Life is about doing something.  Not just anything but something that is positive for those around you or even just you.  When everything is said and done, life happens because of dumb luck and you go to sleep with life as it is. 

When Pigs Fly

     In our minds we are able to visualize many different things that come up in our daily lives.  We can see pigs flying and buffalo's having wings.  The only difference is that one tastes better than the other.  No, wait, that's not what this post is about.  It has been said that we can make happen anything we can visualize.  There is something in that process that makes fantasy reality.  And so we enter the world of magical thinking. 
     Magical thinking has been the downfall of so many individual ideas, movements, and rebellions.  The "thinker" for any one of a number of reasons has failed to bring to fruition their vision.  Like so many of the examples of life there are hurdles and pitfalls that come into play and block forward movement.  I believe that the bigger the imagined item, the greater the obstacles the world and people put in the way.  This applies to all areas of our lives and all people involved in our lives.
     I grew up in a town of magical thinkers (all 300 of them).  They thought that I was bound for failure based on magical thinking.  So, I answered their label as "lawless" and became a police officer.  I answered their label as an "atheist" and became first a missionary and then a pastor.  I answered their label as "unmoral and unethical" by becoming a social worker and caring for others needs.  When they labeled me unable to meet any academic standard I picked up two masters degrees and wrote 3 books.  Here is the key point for us to consider:  I did all of this without the intention of addressing any of their negative thinking.  I just lived my life, made mistakes and lived as well as I could continually moving forward.  Their magical thinking was not for me but was to help them focus on someone, anyone, who was worse off then they.
     Like I said, "When pigs fly."
     When I first became Christian I embraced Christ with all of my heart.  People were intent on beating that kind of Christianity out of me so that I could mesh with the rest of Christian society.  Praying for healing for others because I believed God would do the healing was for the early church.  It couldn't be for now.  Praying for insight and understanding was out and common sense was in.  Anybody who is anybody knows that!  Even though I gave up ground in my advocating God to those around me, I never let that take away my basic belief in Jesus.  It's true that sometimes I didn't act Christian at all.  No arguments here.   It's also true that I acted like a Christian more often than not. 
     What modern Christianity has arrived at is an "When pigs fly." mentality.  Belief has shifted from what God can and will do to what can we afford, how can we not offend, and whatever happened to all our church members?  While there are the faithful, there are twice as many who have abandoned their first love.  How do I know?  Because I was one of them.  My choices took me where even I couldn't recognize the "Christianity" I was living.  Probably because it wasn't there.  However, there is a back door.
     Here it is.  It's so simple that it doesn't make sense to millions on our planet.  It's so revolutionary that people exclaim "That's unheard of!"  People stare at those who think this way AND live this way.  There are exclamations of: "When pigs fly!" when it's suggested that they too can have the freedom that comes with this radical idea.  I've often used the acronym KISS:  keep it simple stupid to reground myself.  Simple is and has always been the ultimate flying pig.  There are no complex plans, no need for committee or any need for money to fuel the project.  None of that. 
     Turn around.
     That's a flying pig to many people.  What do you mean, you ask, this must be too complex.  This must involve great sacrifice.  This must mean a change for everyone who don't agree with this change.  This must not be offensive to others lest we be seen as a people who stand for something.  Why is this so difficult to get our heads around?  Must everything be passed through the minds of mindless men and women for their approval first? 
     Turn around.
     There are consequences of turning around.  First, you will be at peace with God.  Not a bad starting place.  Second, others may see what you have done and follow the same example.  That's not so bad either.  Third, needs around you will be met by God.  Not so bad either.  What's the negative that comes from this radical notion?  There are none for you.  There are lots for those around you.  You decide whether they get to you or not.  It's so simple that it defies understanding for so many.
     Turn around.
     Take the step to recommit to Christ and his simple ways.  Love God and love others even if they don't want you to.  That may mean your spouse or your worst enemy.  If they are the same, love them anyway.  If you can't use your love for them, try using Christ's love.  Whenever all fails, leave it at the foot of the cross and walk away.  Turn around.

More on Christian resposibility.

     It seems pretty straight forward and yet we get caught up on doing versus not doing for whatever reason.  Perhaps we stay too busy so that we don't have to be responsible.  The down side to that one is everybody in your life becomes a victim of your selfishness.  Staying too busy may be an excuse that works for you in your situation.  However, it's not an excuse to God.  He wants us to be happy and fulfilled.  How can that take place if we are neglecting God and his relationship with us?
     Staying distracted is another way out for us.  If we are distracted by those items we seem to think crucial we miss out on blessing others and being blessed ourselves.  Don't get me wrong, God doesn't want us to stop having fun.  That's not the point.  We are so busy with "stuff" that we aren't available for God to use and for God to bless.  We don't want to do something at home or with our family so we work late, have sports on Saturday and take Sunday to relax so that we can do it all over again on Monday. 
     When we think of God as an employer we miss out on a huge portion of what could be a really wonderful relationship with Him.  There is no "Christian time clock" to punch.  Nor is there any overtime to be gained if we are required to use time for God.  Going the extra mile isn't the extra mile for God...it IS the mile.  Doing what is right is not worthy of a special award or a pay increase.  Doing what is right is the first impulse of the Christian.  I wish I could go back to earlier days and even yesterday and get this one right.  This is His blog and hopefully I step out of the way so that what is important to God can be transferred to you.
     One of my biggest blessings is knowing that all of my children have asked Jesus to be the Lord of their lives.  I even was able to pray with 4 of the 7 that first prayer.  I've watched them grow (the youngest is 13) and mature in their relationship with God.  The kids are His.  He has loaned them to me so that they might grow up and be his witness.  It was my blessing to be able to input whatever I did to help them move forward with this task.  There were many choices I made that weren't what God wanted and I was concerned about their walk with Jesus.  I didn't have to worry as their walk was WITH Jesus and not me.  I am part of the plan but not THE plan.
     If we do not intentionally listen to God every minute of every day; we miss out on the blessing of God.  Then not only for ourselves but also for those around us.  Stories abound of how being in the right place at the right time with the right solution/answer/help brought about the blessing of God to more than one person.  Have you ever been interrupted in your "doing" in order for God to use you to bless others?  Was it before that you felt good about this intrusion or after the other person(s) were thanking you for whatever you did for them? 
     Our frame of heart is what is important to God.  The Bible tells us that we are to be cheerful givers.  That is not just about our money but also about meals shared, coffee given, listening attended to and a host of other little items that God puts in our path as a means to bless others.  To make matters even less appealing to our worldly hearts and minds, God wants us to do and be this representative to our enemies as well.  What!?  Yep, God wants us to show others the love of God.  All others!  I have such a difficult time with this.  You can pray for me now.
     If someone reaches up to poke me in the eye I will deflect his arm and threatening finger.  If someone in front of me in traffic hits their brakes I will follow suit.  These are "first nature responses" and we have many of them in all areas of our lives.  They are lived out without consciously thinking about them.  This is how God wants us to live out our Christianity...as a first nature response.  Automatically if you will.  Without thinking (because that gives us time to argue with God and the moment is missed).  With abandon of self in favor of presenting Christ to all we encounter.
     When we live our lives as thankful Christians others see Christ in us.  Should we gain the privilege of telling someone about Jesus our happiness should match that of the angels in heaven.  Nothing is as important as the decision people make to live a life surrendered to Jesus.  Nothing.

What is Christian responsibility?

     Good question.  It's almost easier to say what is not our responsibility because that question covers a lot of territory.  I've read a lot over my lifetime, written two books now and am on the way with number 3.  I have a Masters of Theology and a Masters of Psychology.  Then there are the ongoing classes I have taken over time.  I'm not sure, after all of this "learning", that I can fully answer this question.  Yet, I'm going to give it a try.
     The quick and easy answer is to simply ask ourselves, "What would Jesus do?"  When we are done deciding what Jesus would do; the moment has passed and our pondering is worthless.  As I survey the world we live in, the contradictions within the Christian (I use this term loosely) realm and the world  are far apart.  That is until you look at what each of them do NOT do.  These two worlds throw money at problems but the problems don't go away.  You could go so far as to point out all that both have given materially but, again, the problems haven't been solved.  Why is that?
     When I was a police officer the phrase "lesser and included" was often a reason why we would charge someone with only one crime instead of the 4 or 5 that were "within" the charge.  So, for instance, a person would be charged with burglary. instead of burglary AND trespassing.  Trespassing was a lesser and included crime.  What's this have to do with Christian responsibility?  Plenty! 
     I once preached a sermon addressing the question: "If being a Christian were a criminal offense, would there be enough evidence to arrest, bring to trial and convict you?"  The "real" or "serious" or "committed" Christian would immediately say, "Yes!"  The rest who call themselves Christian would be busy hiding or covering up their "Christian" front.  It's within this context that the question is posed.  What is Christian responsibility?
     As far as I can tell (real) Christianity is being applied backwards.  Instead of treating the problem most Christians and Christian organizations are so busy doing symptom relief that they are ineffective in their mission statement.  Concern over being politically correct and non-judgmental reign supreme over true Christian application.  Gone are the days when Christian men and women wore their Christian life out loud and up front.  Gone are the days when Christians (for the most part) wouldn't think of surrendering their beliefs for anyone or anything.  In America at least, the Christian has no consequence (worldly) with not living a Christian life.  Nor are they held accountable for the world around them. 
     Now this next statement will raise some eyebrows.
     The Christian life portrayed in the Bible is one of judgment (discernment) and intolerance of sin to the point of offense.  Don't believe me?  Read the Bible and then come to challenge me.  You won't be challenging me though.  You would be challenging God and the Bible.  Jesus provided us with the example of mercy and of judgment.  The message of tolerance is found nowhere in the Bible.  What, again, does this have to do with the question?
     The Christian's first obligation is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind."  You get the picture.  There is nothing about God or the Bible that needs to be defended by you or me.  In loving God in this manner Christians are to stand as an example of a holy and righteous God.  So many "Christians" believe they are saved (due to unbelieving pastors in part) when they are not.  They have other gods as primary in their lives.  Gone is the conviction of doing what God desires in our lives.  Don't believe me?  Look around and find me a church, a religious organization or a "Christian" that is living totally committed to God.
     Steve, you are so harsh!  Lighten up! 
     No.  This is pointing at me too.  I have been and often still am the guy who claims to be a Christian but doesn't practice what I preach.  It's not until Jesus is foremost in my life (all areas) that I could be an example of a true Christian.  Here is where the worlds definition of the Christian goes wrong. 
     IF we would allow Jesus to be the first word, deed and action of our life, the Christian responsibility question would not be needing to be asked.  If we truly believed ALL that we (I) have belongs to God for his use and distribution as HE sees fit; the Christian responsibility would be taken care of.  IF we would get out of the way and let Jesus be the God of our lives we would not sit by and collect what others have harvested because they were too lazy, stubborn, or (to put simply) sinning.  The imperative is that we are to "love the Lord God with ALL of our heart, mind and soul"  Not part.  Not only that which we agree with.  Not if we feel like it.  Not according to  the world we live in. 
     This brings up the second commandment.  We are to "love others as God loves you."  Whoa!  Stop the train, I want off!  Isn't this what a lot of Christians say?  It's become easier for the "Christian" to throw a few bucks and a non-specific and non-offending prayer at a problem than to deal with the problem because we love someone in Jesus. 
     If we get the first and second commandment right, the rest of the questions don't matter.  Delivering Jesus to the world around us is not for the weak or lazy.  It's for those who see themselves as part of the solution to the problem.  It's not for those who want to be "okay" with everyone but rather those who want to be "Well done thou good and faithful servant." people.  We have only two commandments to fulfill.  Let's take this task and do what Jesus did.  He loved his Father and loved all mankind.  THAT is our Christian responsibility.
     That's it. 

My dogs are funny!

     I mean that in the good sense for most of the time.  I'd like to think my dogs are better than other people's dogs.  However, that's not true.  My dogs are funny though!  Sometimes they surprise me.  For instance, when I give them a treat I have them sit and when they are both sitting I give them their treat at the same time.  Granted they almost take my hand off!  They then go about their business as if I didn't exist and hadn't just given them a treat.  About a week ago I was eating almonds.  They took note of this and assumed the begging position.  They are relentless in their begging until either I give in or they get what they want.
     I have never given the dogs nuts before.  So, I thought, what could it harm them to have an almond.  They CHEWED the nut!  They didn't wolf it down.  They actually chewed the nut!!!  I've seen them swallow without chewing a piece of meat half the size of my hand.  Here we were going through the process and they amazed me by chewing the almond.  Just ONE almond much less.  Thinking that this must be a fluke, I waited until they were done and then offered them another nut. 
     Normally I have to be very quick in removing my hand so that it doesn't get taken off with their launch to get the treat.  Not with the almond!  No, they gingerly take it from my two fingers and then CHEW the nut.  What is going on?  I've never seen any other dog exhibit this behavior either.  I even called in my wife and showed her.  She too was amazed.  We still, obviously, gotten over it.  The dogs have had several servings of a single nut over the past few weeks and still gingerly take the nut and chew it.
     Humans aren't that different from our dogs.  We anxiously grab that which we can quickly consume and then make some things last for hours or even days.  That is part of the reason why we are the way we are.  I can remember being told to make my candy last for the week I spent at my Grandma's house during the summer.  You might have just as well tore open the candy and stuffed it all in my mouth at the same time.  I have not seen (though I have heard they do exist) any child parcel out their candy to last a few minutes much less for a week.
     Even today give me a bag of red licorice and you might just as well write "comatose" on my forehead and sit me in the corner.  How about you?  Any different reaction?  There are all kinds of "things" we say we love but actually lust about.  A Snickers bar is in danger if I have the money on me to buy it.  The same goes for certain appetizers.  We also have that attitude towards other things as well.  Don't let me loose in a office supplies store!  I'm also dangerous at a nursery picking out things to plant.  Our landscape reflects my penchant for plants! 
     My dogs get excited whenever anyone comes to the door.  Included in this are my wife and I when we return home.  It seems to be a part of their instinct or a really fun thing to do.  Going for a ride in the car is even more precious.  It doesn't take much for my dogs to get excited.  It's no different for humans.  There are different activities that we get excited for.  We even call in our friends and relatives for some of them.  Add some food and drink and everyone forgets their "to do" list.
     So, why don't we act the same way with our relationship with God?  Why aren't we eagerly begging for snacks from God?  Is there a reason why God isn't invited to the Superbowl party?  What would happen if we expressed our excitement about God at the grocery store like we do the World Series?  Perhaps people would think we are crazy.  I admit that to do so is outside of the norm.  But then so is my dogs chewing of almonds.  Don't be creatures of habits.  Open your heart, ears and eyes to the relationship you have with God and where it's lacking.  You might be surprised at how good the fellowship can be.  Oh, and people might think you are funny!  So what!

The lies we tell...

     We lie to ourselves, our friends, our enemies, and God.  Oh, we justify and rationalize away the decision to do so.  After all, we wouldn't want to hurt Aunt Bea's feelings when she asks what we think about her dress.  We rationalize that protecting someone is more important than seeing them hurt.  We manipulate circumstances in order to "win" when dealing with our enemies.  We, at least I, lie to God when we make pledges we have no intention of keeping. 
     The biggest lie is the one we tell ourselves.  But then, are we really to blame?  The "world" is based on lies as a foundation on which we raise our families and teach our children to lie as well.  You don't think so?  Let's see, Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Elves and Fairies, Leprechauns, the Tooth Fairy, and many more.  "But," you say, "These are all just a part of childhood."  Perhaps; but they are also about learning how to lie and teaching others to do the same.  Don't believe me?  Tell your child or your friend's child that these don't exist. 
     There are more damaging ways in which we lie though.  We "stretch the truth."  No, that's a lie.  We tell "little white lies."  No, that's a lie.  We have so many ways we lie that it's hard to keep up.  The Bible says there are to be no lies.  Don't fudge here or neglect to say there.  Let your yes be yes and your no be no.  Don't deceive anyone.  The Bible is clear but we don't care because of our selfish desires.
     I have been guilty more times than I can count of rationalizing away the sin of lying in order to manipulation situations or people.  Even though I have repented of my sin and made right where I had wronged I find myself faced with these choices time and again.  And so, I get up every day and ask God to help me to go through the day telling the truth.  It's difficult.  Why anyone believed me in some specific areas of my life is way beyond me. 
     With the lie, there goes trust.  We want to trust our spouses, children, friends, neighbors and fellow Christians.  However, get caught in one lie and all you say is questionable.  Yet, we are asked to trust politicians, lawyers, car salesmen, and a host of other professions.  We end up choosing the one that lies the least or perhaps in the best way.  How sick is that?!
     Chicken Little or the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf are examples of choices we make and consequences we reap when we lie.  We think we get away with the lie when all along people don't call us on our lies.  What results is destruction of trust.  When the trust gets low enough we become expendable to others or the business we work for.  And yet, we don't change our ways.  With the failure of trust we turn to blame.  Blame is a means of not taking responsibility for what we think, say and do.  "If he/she hadn't ..." or "I had no choice to...I had to protect..."  The resulting defensiveness takes us out more quickly than the blink of an eye.
     The truth NEVER needs to be defended.  The web we build with lies becomes increasingly complex and requires so much maintenance that we are exhausted just living through the day. 
    Saying, "Yes, it's true." or "I lied." along with, "The truth is..." all are good starting places.  First and foremost we need to stop lying to God and ourselves.  We are sinners in need of the saving grace of Christ.  Secondly, we need to stop lying to ourselves.  When we can be honest with God and to ourselves people will begin to develop trust with us again.  Third, we need to stop lying to our children.  They deserve to be raised with the truth.  Should we be that brazen, perhaps they will raise honest children as well. 
     So, just for today, this hour and this moment; tell yourself the truth.  Then confess the truth to God and begin to live the truth.  What's the worst that can happen?  What's the best that could happen?  Perhaps the "truth" will catch on and become chic or hip or whatever the saying is for this generation.  Maybe people won't spend so much time developing strategy for their lies and actually feel freed up to just live the life Christ wants us to live. 
     Tell the truth.  Live the truth.  Pass on the truth.  You will never have to defend the truth. 

It's all about focus!

     I've watched my children in their sporting activities and seen the focus and drive that is needed for each of them to do their part on the team.  It didn't matter which sport that was being played.  All sports involve more than one person.  Yes, that even applies to golf!  There are more than the kids who were involved in their playing.  The parents and other spectators, the referee, the other team and their support people and probably most significant of all, God.
     Who we are when watching our children can really take us out of character.  We become hyper focused and overprotective of them and those who would like to stop them.  Our cheering and jeering reach a high and we can feel the adrenalin and anger mixing with the joy and pride.  Suddenly, we cross the line.  We do or say something that is out of character and possibly offensive to those on the field or around us.  We are never looked at the same again.
     So, focus is important.  What we do with that focus is important and necessary.  I don't want a distracted dentist or surgeon working on me.  I want them to have nothing in their minds except my welfare.  I have been on the receiving end of unfocused care providers.  The results weren't good.  Focusing on only the good areas of our lives makes us unbalanced.  We should try at least to focus on all areas of our lives.  Focus without knowledge is dangerous.  Focus without direction leads us up or down dangerous roads of life.
     Being side tracked or distracted isn't focus.  If we let ourselves be side tracked or distracted we find our lives to be out of focus.  I don't want a mechanic working on my car after he is just chewed out by a previous customer.  Nor do I want someone teaching my kids classes in school when they don't have my kids best interests at heart.  The difference can be created by how focused we as individuals or parents are.  There is a difference between being interested and being a participant.
     Action is the element that makes the difference.  Informed action after becoming aware of the issues makes the difference in how we interact with problems and challenges.  We can assess where we are weak and where we are strong.  It's difficult to be objective of ourselves.  Hence the need for input from  the outside.  Whether that be a good friend, family member, or God we will need to be open to hear what they know and are able to share. 
     Where do we go for our guidance?  What is the most important variable in our strategic plan?  Input by the way of learning is important as is experience in what we do.  Prior to that we need focus that is morally and ethically grounded.  That focus comes only from our relationship with God and application of his Word.  Without God we are wandering around on a planet without focus. 
     There are so many who are watching US as their role models.  They are little children to aging adults.  From our bosses to our co-workers we are observed and evaluated.  The question that remains is the difficult part of this process.  What is our primary focus?  Is that found in Jesus Christ or something less?  Do people see Jesus in me?  If not, most likely my focus isn't Jesus. 
     Who we are is important.  What we do is important.  What we impart to our world is important.  Our focus is important.  When we fall off the bike we need to get back on.  That goes for Christians who fail also.  Don't let a mistake cancel out your focus.  Be an example of someone who gets up, dusts themselves off and goes back to work.  You won't regret it and neither will those around you.  Everyone loves a winner.  Be one.

There I was minding my own business; when....

     Minding my own business has brought me trouble and blessings.  Minding other's business has brought me trouble.  Minding God's business has brought me blessings.  When I am minding God's business, how am I blessing others?  Surely you and I examine the lives of those around us.  Why do we do that?  Comparing will never get your anywhere but trouble.  Just what is it that God wants us to do instead of creating trouble?
     Because we are charged with loving God and then loving others like God loves us.  I don't like to fail.  I don't think most people like to fail.  However, that is just what I do every day and will do so until I go to heaven.  I'm not perfect.  Don't expect perfect and you won't be dismayed.  There are days where I ask at the end of the day: "What happened?!"  It's difficult to love God and others when you and I are full of ourselves.
     What happens in our lives that show our failure is how we have not surrendered our lives to Him.  Jesus says that we can be that person that does the will of God if we will die to self.  Minding my own business means that we haven't surrendered our lives.  Perhaps the task is something that is too big to accomplish in our minds.  Maybe we see the finished painting but don't know how to get there. 
     Perhaps if we looked at all of this from a realistic view we wouldn't give up.  When the task appears too big or impossible we often give up.  Jesus was very clear in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew) that we are to take our life in Christ seriously.  He was also aware of the failings of every man and woman.  So, Jesus made a way out.  He said, "Take no thought of tomorrow..."  That leaves us with yesterday and today.  Jesus tells us that there is nothing to do that can change yesterday.
     That leaves us with today.  There I was minding my own business when today happened.  I like that.  Perhaps we can even go so far as to limit the time to one hour.  Maybe, just maybe, I can do God's business one hour at a time.  In case that doesn't work, I can try for every minute.  The honest truth is that as selfish and biased individuals we cannot mind any one's business but our own. 
     Surrendering to the truth is difficult.  At least it is for me.  The truth is that I am not able to breath without the grace and will of God.  Yet, we take that for granted.  The truth is I cannot see, hear, taste, feel or even think without the grace and love of God.  When we practice true surrender we become impatient with ourselves and God.  Impatience leads to feeling of "I must do something."  That's not what God wants.  God wants us to surrender every day and every hour and every minute to him...so he can bless us.
     We are taught to live life backwards.  We think and act before we ask God what he wants us to do.  It's like we wash our cars to make it rain.  We leave the house messy so that people can drop in.   Living like this gives us this desire to do something and wonder if it was God's will later.  Then, in our boasting, we claim that what we said or did was from God.  You have done this just as I have done this. 
     Minding my own business is not what God wants from us.  God wants us to mind his business and do his business and say his business.  He cannot have his will completed unless we put ours aside and tend to his.  Should we dare to do this there will be consequences.  We would find peace in doing his will.  We would find people not understanding our actions and inaction's.  We would see the hand of God move in many different manners. 
     So, there I was minding God's business when his will was worked out in my life and the lives of those around me.  That sounds much better.  Lord help me to surrender so that I actually do what I speak of.  Amen.

You shouldn't have to beg.

     Whatever it is, you shouldn't have to beg for it.  Begging is real though and closer to our homes and lives than we like to think about; much less deal with.  Whether it's the person at the end of the off ramp to a freeway near you to us begging for what we want; begging exists.  Some begging seems legit while a lot of begging falls into the questionable category.  One thing is for sure; begging has been with mankind since the fall of man in the garden.  One more thing to be thankful for.
     "Begging" is defined much in the same way "love" is in our society.  We love everything from grilled cheese to our family and hopefully God.  When we use these words in glib and excessive ways those around us begin to be numb to those who are doing the begging.  We rationalize away the feelings and emotions that arise when we see the sign, the clothing, the countenance and the stare.  And so it goes with our society.  We dismiss others and what they feel because we are uncomfortable or know the situation isn't what it is painted to look like.
     Quite a number of years ago a channel on TV did an expose on the beggars at the off ramps to the freeways and other places in a couple of cities.  They followed this one very disheveled looking lady with a cane hobbling away at the end of her day begging.  She walked a couple of blocks away and then took off her shabby clothing and underneath were very clean and nice clothing.  She went over to a parked new Cadillac and was about to get in when they asked if they could interview her.  She told them that she had been begging for years and averaged about $40,000.00 a year in tax free money.  She was retired and drawing her pension as well.  She, as we would expect, asked to not have her picture taken and her name publicized. 
     From there we visit the spouse, children, grandchildren or even neighbors that are victims of their abusers.  Their begging the abuser to not abuse falls on deaf ears and unless extreme circumstances dictate society doesn't intervene.  Often, now a days, citizens regularly look the other way, don't say anything and ignore the begging pleas of the very real victims.  We may attend their premature funeral and even have sadness but not acknowledge we did nothing.
     We have two extremes here.  One that takes advantage of a gullible public and one where the public turns a deaf ear and blind eye.  Why do they take place in the first place?  For some the inability to feel is the culprit.  For others the desire to avoid conflict at any cost keeps them inactive and not intervening.  But, what should we do?  What is the moral and ethical thing to do?  Why don't we do it? 
     When asked, Jesus said there were only two commandments.  The first was to love God and the second was to love our neighbor.  There is no question of how much we are to love.  With all of our heart mind and soul.  We have options as people and obligations as Christians to love.  Love can be in words, actions, and a plethora of different ways delivered to those intended.  With God, we say we love him.  However, does our love of our neighbor show that we do?  The two cannot be separated.  For if we love the one and hate the other, we do not love God. 
     In it's simplest form, love is a judgment call based on what our love of God is or isn't.  Like Jesus, we are to lay down our lives for God and fellow man.  How we do this is entirely dictated by the situation we find ourselves in.  We may be urged by the Holy Spirit to give clothing here, food there, shelter to these and comfort to them.  Should we actually take our walk with Jesus seriously we meet the need BEFORE the situation becomes on of begging.  No one should have to beg when Christians are here on earth. 
     There is no division of people into Christian and non-Christian.  We who are believers have been called to be like Jesus.  Little Christ's to the world we are entrusted with each day.  What would it be like if all your needs were met before you had to ask them to be?  Kind of peaceful isn't it.  What would those who are begging be like if they didn't have to beg?  Now that we have put this out on the table we are responsible for the knowledge we have.  Try and end some begging today.

When all is said and done.

     I wonder sometimes what life would be like if we had not encountered one thing and perhaps encountered something different in our daily living.  I realize that factually the question is a mute point as our past is just that...our past.  Still, I can't help but wonder how life shaping events would have shaped our lives differently had this happened or not happened. 
     So, with this wondering going on, it's like being on a train and not knowing where I'm going.  Life is full of "what ifs" that seemingly waste our time.  Actually, we are learning from the past when we rehash events of our past playing out the story with different people, places and things.  I imagine I'm not the only one on planet earth that does this on a regular basis.
     For instance, today marks 4 years since my catastrophic surgery injury that left me initially paralyzed from the waist down.  I have replayed that day almost every day over and over.  My going over the different elements of that day have helped me heal the PTSD that resulted.  Still have the PTSD but am better at dealing with the various pitfalls that come with.  There are remaining physical damages which medication helps with.  My relationships have changed...some for the better and others for the worse.  My life was changed permanently in a few moments when people failed to do what they were supposed to do...keep me safe.
     Don't get me wrong, I know that there is nothing I can do to alter the past.  If I could do that I would address all of the regrets that have been created by me.  Still, the question remains about what all of the changes would do to my world.  Every action I take affects not only me and my personal space but also all those who interact with me.  As you read this blog, my story has it's impact on you.  If it's negatively impacting you I apologize. 
     Every action has an equal reaction.  Reverberating through the many seconds of each life connected to us, those reactions form histories of many.  Questioning how my actions and inaction as well as my frame of mind affected my Christian witness has been foremost over the years since giving my life to Christ.  I seem to have this problem with taking back that life and trying to do life better without God's input.  God has never left me even though I have had times when I left him.
     My wish, when all is said and done, is that people would be able to say that they caught a glimpse of God in my life.  When all is said and done, I hope the positive outweighs the negative.  When all is said and done I want to be able to move on rather than stay immobilized where I am.  When all is said and done nothing matters more than Jesus.  When all is said, all is done.  Peace resides.  God's blessing on you.

Be careful of what you ask for!

    The very first thing that comes to my mind is a time when I asked for patience!  You know what happened next.  Trials and tribulations for what seemed days.  But I had only asked for patience for what I was going through and not my whole life.  Sometimes we ask before we think.  Often we ask without consulting God on what he would like for us to be and do.  Why do we do that?  I would suggest we do this because of our selfishness.  We want what we want, when we want it and how we want it.  Did I mention, NOW!

     When I was a very young boy I was way ahead of the style curve.  I asked repeatedly for a Mohawk hair cut until my dad gave me what I wanted.  Immediately afterwards I had much remorse as my new look began to sink in.  Until my hair grew out I made myself very scarce.  Hiding is more of an appropriate description of what I did.  Now at 61 if I were to have a Mohawk, I would be in fashion or at least wouldn't create any scene.  

     Over the years I have grown wiser in my requests but still from time to time ask without thinking, consulting or evaluating what it is I'm asking to happen.  One area that needs more improvement is my category I call:  "Immediate Crisis".  I'm driving along when I notice the gas gauge blinking "low on fuel" at me.  I say an "Immediate Crisis" prayer pledging to God I will be more responsible next time if he can just get me to a gas station.  You know what I do next?  When I approach that first gas station I notice that the price is too high so I make the decision to go on and find a cheaper station!  How crazy is that!  Sometimes we ask for and refuse the answer or the gift.

     My next category is fondly entitled: "for the greater good."  Please make him/her shut up!  Spare all of us this same old story/joke/speech!  Just then you notice that young person scribbling notes hurriedly so that they can get the message/goal or joke.  We may "think" that it would be good for the speaker to shut up but perhaps he/she prayed that the speaker would talk about this subject because their job depended upon it.  My "for the greater good" just was trumped by "immediate crisis."  There may be the feeling that the rest of us "lost" but in reality we all won.  This person's attentiveness just completed the circle of being on the same page.

     No plan would be complete without "do we have to go there?"  requests.  They may look like this:  You (dad/mom/babysitter) are in charge for another 10 minutes and your darling little one makes a funny face and sits very still for a moment.  Yep, dirty diaper time!  And so we ask that this not stink until after someone else has taken care of the situation.  You can also apply this to cleaning the break room, distributing that report for the umpteenth time, or whatever task is ahead of you that you don't want to do.  Maybe if I am late someone else will have already attended to that job/task.  Maybe others will catch on and hold you accountable anyway!  

     James tells us that we should be careful of what we ask for.  Being mindful of the whole picture is imperative.  When we are aware of the world past our own, we can begin to see how this affects that.  Developing sensitivity for the big picture works wonders in pretty much all situations.  Our wants and desires may seem good to us but in reality aren't good for the greater cause.  Thinking we are doing good we actually complicate matters and miss the point.  

     I no longer ask for Mohawk haircuts.  I've been tempted but haven't gone there.  When we examine our world of requests it's important that we learn from the past and grow up.  I no longer ask for patience.  There are enough situations that cause me to grow in that area without my adding to that task!  When listening to others I don't jump right to requesting this or that.  God tells us that he will answer our prayers with "Yes" "No" and "Wait".  No doubt you and I will encounter times when we are looking for the answer to our selfish request and seemingly the answer never comes.  Maybe there is a good reason for that delay or even the "No" answer.

     As you go through your day I pray that you would have God's wishes fulfilled in your life.  Please pray the same for me.  Look at the issue or request and ask if this is my selfishness or selfishlessness.  Prepare to receive answers that are contrary to what you think.  Additionally, understand that having the answer right now might just complicate someone else's life.  Ecclesiastes 3 tells us there is a time for everything.  Take the time and see if now is moment or not. 

There i was, minding my own business...

     Have you ever found yourself saying this?  The "when" is suggested and you can add in whatever you like.  For me, it's "life happened."  It makes sense to be curious about the who, what, when, where, and how in our lives.  It doesn't make sense to drive yourself crazy trying to figure some things out.  After you have figured out a problem or challenge you still have to do something.  Minding your own business is usually a choice made but is merely avoiding the issue or problem.

     No one likes to feel helpless.  Okay, some of the mentally ill out there do.  Feeling helpless leads to depression or frustration and anxiety.  So, instead of feeling stymied, take the bull by the horns and do something!  We are, whether we like it or not, part of the problem or part of the solution even when we are minding our own business.

     We have become a world that stands by and watches for the most part.  We don't intervene because of what we perceive will result towards us.  Negativity takes little effort or time to enter and command our best of intentions.  We fear and that's usually all it takes for us to ignore or avoid our world.  We like the flowers and sunshine but don't like the allergies or the sunburn.  We like to be okay with everyone and end up standing for nothing.  

     Reflecting on who we are within our relationships is important.  These relationships make the difference whether we do something or do nothing.  There have been many times in my past when I wished people would mind their own business and stay out of mine.  Afterwords I was glad they didn't listen to me.  Being stubborn, like me, isn't necessary to being involved.  When we do all we can to avoid the issues and people around us we become numb and unable to take action.  We rationalize away whatever we need to in order to escape being a real caring individual.

     A few years back there were reports of pedestrians standing by and walking by as a person in New York was being assaulted.  We hear reports all the time of witnesses choosing to not be witnesses out of fear.  There is little to argue with when as a result of our choice to not be involved bad things happen to good people.  Perhaps you have been one of those victims who needed help but no one could "see" you.  No one "would" see you.  

     I'm not suggesting that we act or speak foolishly.  I'm not even suggesting we have to be involved all the time.  What I am saying is that it's our choice that the world is in the condition it is in.  It was our choice all along.  We chose to close our eyes, ears and mouths for nothing but selfish reasons.  Looking past someone, hearing only that which we want, and saying excuses or nothing aren't good choices.  We have heard that old science law that for every action there is an equal reaction (or something like that).  Do people see you as an inaction or an action?  

     We need only to look at Jesus' disciples to see ourselves.  I relate to several of them positively and negatively.  I'm probably more like Peter than I like to confess.  But I'm also like John.  Individuals with different backgrounds, they bring their action in different ways.  John stood firm while Peter ran away and denied Jesus.  Peter was brazen in his personality while John was more subdued and caring.  The key element in both of their lives is that they cared enough to do what was right when they surrendered their lives to God.

     God has us in this place in our life for His reasons.  Minding my own business isn't one of them.  We can rationalize and justify almost everything in our lives.  We can argue with the ease of a good lawyer and seemingly convince others that it's better if we are not involved.  In the end, what will God think about our choices?  Will he see his Son in our lives?  Will he see the Holy Spirit working through our actions?  

     I'm still not very good at doing what God wants.  It's a lifetime of work for me.  We need to reassess our lives from time to time.  This is as good a time as any.