The very first command with a promise attached is for us to “Honor your mother and your father.” The promise that comes if we do this, we live a long and fruitful life. Like most words, “honor” has taken upon itself different definitions and applications as time has passed. Without “honor” we are less able (if able at all) to listen to our elders. So much of society appears to be without honor and many in our nation would rather seek counsel from some other source than our parents. Let’s broaden this out to include others who fit the definition of the “counsel of the years.” First let’s include our grandparents, aunts and uncles. Some of you may have godparents as well. These are an important part of your social makeup and have great impact on who for better or worse you are today. Branching out there are professors, neighbors, bosses, and the like. Again, these people are important in your development. Should you listen to these you will be more able to survive entering society as a productive member in good standing. Finally, our “counsel of the years” has been immortalized in books, letters and other related mediums where importance is given to them. Wow! We have a long list of where to find the counsel of the years.
I would like to point out that when we seek counsel from these sources we must note that we are to do so kindly. Pouring gasoline on a fire doesn’t help put the fire out. Many a young person has entered into a conversation with an adult only to find themselves locked into their own beliefs and no listening takes place. Even with great patience some lessons are learned by the intensity of emotions surrounding the issues. One can learn here also but must be open minded enough that they are able to look at the issues and take what they can from the interchange. So, the “take kindly” part of the statement is important. The more we are able to listen open mindedly to others, the more wisdom for living we are able to incorporate into our daily living. I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk a bit about anger. I believe that anger is one of the strongest of emotions and able to bring about powerful changes both positive and negative. Alas, when one takes in information while angry; the development of wisdom comes later when our anger is out of the way. The counsel of the years can be either a great teacher or distraction. You decide the moment you listen or shut down.
Let’s introduce the concept of not giving up. That’s what love does; it never gives up. In order to give up people go through circumstances which challenge their very life at times. I’ve given up on situations, events and even others in my lifetime. The most drastic “giving up” was on myself. Giving up on yourself is pretty much the bottom rung of the ladder. Transitions are needed to get the ball rolling again and in the right direction. So, having something in your “bag of tricks” is necessary. By this I mean something that stops the freefall and begins the assent once again. What is your bottom line like? Perhaps you don’t know you have one. Everyone has a bottom line; the difference is what moves us on from the “stop” in our lives. Giving up is not always a bad option nor is it necessarily a good option. Sometimes we need to hit bottom just to stop the freefall in our lives. The further we fall the more wise people we kick out of our lives or at least don’t listen to them. It’s when we hit the bottom that we become the most open to letting God have some choices in our lives.
When we are born several truths begin in our lives. First are our fears. Upon birth there is activated a fear of loud noises and a fear of falling. Imagining the safety and security of the womb explains why these fears are innate. ALL other fears are learned as they are taught to us. Yes, ALL other fears are learned. Jesus was the only individual who is exempt of this standard. Neither is he subject to the long list of fears we have in our world. I am personally terrified of spiders…even dead ones! There were other fears from my childhood. I feared black cats for a few years, feared my dad’s anger, feared punishment, feared other people, and the list could go on. Some of the fears were safety mechanisms to keep ourselves safe. Most fears have negative connotations in our lives. The plethora of fears are not found in any one person. What may be a fear to me others may not have in their lives. So, how do our fears form our lives? When we first brought Buddy (our dog) home I took him into the bathroom to give him a bath. He did not like the bath and exited as fast as he could upon its conclusion. Whenever I am in the bathroom Buddy will not come in. He goes in to see my wife when she’s in there. He has learned that when I am in the bathroom that it’s not wise to enter. So, he gets his bath outside now.
God never intended for us to have fears. Thank you Adam and Eve for that gift. God never intended us to have any negatives in our lives. Why? Because he loves us and wants the best for us. He wants us to take his counsel in our lives. We probably wouldn’t do that if we were afraid of him. Likewise, we are created to desire, crave and demand love, acceptance and approval. Those three items are essential for our living and for developing the love of God in our lives. What happens when someone who has the “wisdom of the years” doesn’t love you? Your first question should be regarding whether he/she is wise at all. God intends our lives to take a specific path from our conception until our physical death. Don’t turn to the right or the left. Keep your eye focused on the straight and narrow. Have no fears. When we develop fears we are taken off the straight line. No matter how hard we try, we are off the straight line for the rest of our lives. Plan A is gone forever. Sometimes it’s our choice that takes us off Plan A. Sometimes others in our life are responsible for the end of Plan A. For some children; growing into adulthood is a walk in the park. For others the journey is so difficult and hard on them that there are suicides as a solution to the pain. For someone, somewhere Plan A was taken away. What happens when we are surrounded by people intent on taking away our Plan A? We don’t have the options an adult (remember wisdom of the years) may have.
As children we are constantly in a learning mode. We learn positive and negative from those around us. If the person we are learning from is positive, life is good. If the person we are learning from is negative, life is not as good as it could be. Sometimes all the goodness of life is sucked out of us at an early age. For me that age was 13 or 14. The “wisdom of the years” wasn’t. With one exception. My dad’s dad (my grandfather) seemed to like me. Where I received negative from my dad, grandpa was positive and encouraging. So there was some “wisdom of the years” in my life that was positive. Life, on one hand had nothing but negative input. On the other hand there was positive input. By the time I reached adulthood I clearly knew nothing “normal” or even “acceptable” for that matter. My life was based on maladaptive behavior and open hostility. These issues are being dealt with as much as possible and I have peace today over them. However, crucial points of development in life did not happen. Plan B was the best I knew. There are many other stories I do not have room to write in this book that plagued my developing life. People would either fuel the flame or try to put healing salve on my wounds. Where were the wise? How could I take their advice if I didn’t trust them? What should I do when my life is based on lies, injuries and deception? All of which I learned very well. My physically, emotional and psychological makeup was marred at least. So I lived what I had learned. Isn’t that what we all do?
So, who do you trust? Anyone? Where is there a trusted source for anyone who has had their Plan A destroyed?
Even if you are in your worst place in life, you can move forward. You can choose to never give up. Don’t take negative for an answer. Never give up. Tenacity is the ability to keep going even when everything else in and around you is telling you to give up. Either choice is yours and yours alone to make. You choose whether you want to listen to that one or this one. You look for the evidence that this is a truth and that is not. Casting aside that which injures and clutching to your heart that which heals is essential for all of us. There comes a time you need to lean on someone else’s wisdom. So, we need to choose wisely. Our lives and the lives of those we love are depending on us to choose wisely. People are watching us to see what the counsel of the years there is inside you and me. Will we pass the test?
There is no guru on a mountain top with whom we can find out the truth. There is no one man who has all the truth much less lives it. What we would consider the truth might not be the truth to another. The same is obvious for the opposite. Whether we are seeking God in prayer or reading the Bible, or sitting in a service in some church; we encounter truth. When we seek man for truth or wisdom; the giver may not be the wise or wonderful one we need. What is needed to give us confidence we are in front of the right person? Here is a clue. It’s not what you see in them. It’s who you see in them. Satan is the father of lies. God is the Lord over all creation. Who do you see in your mentors? Parents? Pastor? Boss? Sibling? Teacher? Friend? Politician? The Bible says we will know God’s people by their fruits. What do you look for? You don’t find them in the produce section. People who are appropriate have good boundaries. A woman mentoring a man? No, that is not good. A man mentoring a woman? No, that’s not good either. There are some obvious choices that are not good. You know them and wouldn’t choose them unless you wanted to get away with something.
We do not need someone, anyone, to agree with us. We need to have the Spirit testify that we are honest, trustworthy, and open. Just as we should be looking for someone who is leadable, teachable and accountable; we should be likewise. If you choose a person who will not look into your life in this way; choose someone else. You and I have enough pals. We need men (and you women need women) who will be consistently God’s best for us. I have found mentors over the years who were Christian men who had no agenda other than to be there for me. They brought me the counsel of the years in such a manner that I could listen, hear and apply those truths to my life. I still do have a mentor. It’s a good thing. Remember that I had learned the tricks of the world in order to avoid people. That was especially true in the presence of powerful people. So, choosing someone wise in the world as well as the Lord is important. Don’t forget your motive for doing so. You want to be more like Jesus and less like you. Whether you become defensive or not thinking; who you are is more likely will tell you to address issues your mentor brings up.
Likewise, we need to check out those we live with or are close with. If you tell me you’re a working man who loves God and your wife and family, there should be evidence of that in your life. Who do you complain to and about what? Do you have someone you seek out because you know what they will say? Then maybe you don’t need them for mentors. The counsel of the years doesn’t reside in them. Take a serious look at who you have in your life. Who reflects the love of God and who does not? The choice should be a simple one unless you have something to hide. Would you feel comfortable if your mentor wanted to talk with your wife and kids? How about if they wanted to talk with your boss or best friend. The only way you or I am able to take KINDLY the counsel of the years is to listen and apply because you want to. If you feel you have to do the exercise it is fruitless. Do you really want to hear the wisdom that could save your life and the lives of those you are responsible for? One way to know for sure is to look at the result of God’s love in your life. Have you or do you have the habit of giving up? Are you looking to be disciplined by God so that your life becomes more and more focused on Him?
The counsel of the years are there to be a positive influence in your life. Besides desiring their wisdom, there is a need to crave that wisdom. A word from God is a great thing for you. Do you go to bed at night and then wake in the morning desiring to be closer to Jesus? How do you respond to challenges in your life? Are you someone who avoids the challenges as much as possible? I’ve been there. I’ve wasted others and my time. When I would avoid challenges I could almost always tell you what sin I was trying to hide in my life. That’s why I encourage people to find mentors that are Godly and bold. I hope you understand that you are NOT in competition with anyone else. This is no contest or game. No one is trying to beat you at whatever you have in your life. This is between Jesus and you. Jesus wants to heap blessings on you until you cannot contain them. He won’t though until he knows you can handle those blessings. Remember Jesus wants us to be leadable, teachable and accountable. Take the test and write a list of ways you engage each of those character traits. Don’t be easy on yourself. Be honest with yourself. God can only use you when you get out of the way. Keeping your life as it is keeps you where you are. The process of salvation takes place in a moment and in a lifetime. The moment begins the process. The lifetime of sanctification takes the rest. Be aware you will be tested and tried to see if you meet the criteria of being in whatever God wants you to be. There is no excuse for any of us to not bring Glory to God.
I was watching a soccer game today. The ability of the teams was incredible. One team was better than the other. However, in the end all that mattered to the fans was that one team won and one team lost. Each fan wishing the other team to lose. Soccer, like the basic Christian life, is more complicated than that. There are others in the soccer game that have different views and concerns. Owners want to win and expect their managers to make that happen. Managers want to win and expect their coaches to make that happen. Coaches want to win and expect the players to deliver a won game. Players…well, players want to win and will play their best. Being the losing team at a soccer match doesn’t make you a lesser team. Many games are won on a penalty kick or an own goal. Within the 90 minutes of playing, each player must make sure he does their job and does it to the best of their abilities. What is interesting is the movement back up the chain of command of the winning team is much different from the losing team. While the one is jubilant, the other is downcast. The players either praise or blame themselves or each other. The coaches make sure in either case that the manager notices that they have done their job regardless of the outcome. Managers put their spin on the game to the owners so that the owners make sure the owners have their money’s worth. We forget about the fans. What is their response? Perhaps their report and response is most important. Their actions and reactions move the largest group of people to either extreme.
There are times when the teams are “broken” and have “given up” and just played out the game. Most games include a fight to the end. They never give up even when the odds are just outrageous. This tenacity is essential in Love that never gives up. Think for a moment of someone in history you admire. They invented something, wrote an incredible book or poem or perhaps led a battle that changed history. Now imagine the person NOT doing what they have done. Would we be different if no one discovered this or that? If this book hadn’t been written what would literary expectations been like? The battle lost and not won would have deep ramifications like maybe we wouldn’t be the United States of America. What happens if you stop your walk, don’t take kindly the counsel of the years and then give up? Who was put into your life so that you could share Jesus with them? Will they now spend eternity in hell? How about that missionary you were supporting. What will they do to buy food for themselves if you stop? The wisdom of the ages connected with tenacity will lead you to service.
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