Monday, December 4, 2017

Chapter 18. Especially, do not feign affection. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 keeps no records of wrongs


       Adrian and I were stationed in Germany in the US Army.  We were close friends and shared the same faith.  Adrian was very fascinating and was a unique intimate friend.  One night we were praying together at the end of our day.  I had barely closed my eyes and bowed my head before I heard Adrian praying out loud.  Except it didn’t sound like prayers.  That’s when I realized that Adrian was telling God a joke!  After we had prayed I asked Adrian why he had told God a joke.  He said that he did this frequently and believed that God wanted to be part of his intimate life.  He had told God this joke because, “God likes to laugh too!”  My friend was in an intimate relationship with Jesus.  I had never heard anyone tell a joke to God and haven’t since.  Sometimes we may say something funny but not a joke.  There is more to an intimate relationship with God than we know or understand.  This is true because we are taught to pray by parents, Sunday school teachers, grandparents and others.  Affection, as we have listed, is a two-way street.  We receive affection and we give affection.  You might argue that this isn’t true because when we give affection the offering to others is sometimes rejected.  The key in any of the parts of our intimate relationship with God boils down to our only being able to give away that which we receive.  Even as God exercises intimate affection with us, we accept or reject that intimacy.  Should we choose to accept only a little intimacy, we can only give away a little intimacy.  You know people who accept a lot of intimacy. 

       In this same vein of intimate relationship, Adrian taught me the power of greeting one another with a holy kiss.  Yes, it was in public and completely natural for Adrian and was also natural with me.  We were brothers in Christ.  The Bible tells Christians to greet one another with a holy kiss.  The “holy” kiss is again first received from God before we can give to others.  Have you been kissed by God?  Adrian has and so have I.  It’s not that we have physically been kissed by Jesus.  That would certainly mean we were in Heaven with him.  I believe that Jesus will greet us with a kiss when we enter into his presence.  We can know what that is like before we get there.  How do you get kissed by God?  If you don’t know what to look for, you won’t know when it happens.  If you are only looking for the kiss, you will miss it.  Being Jesus to the world around us brings us into intimacy that we have never known before.  It’s in those moments when we are least expecting the kiss that it happens.

       For me the kiss happened one night when I was going to work at the Coffee House that Youth With A Mission ran on the military base where I was stationed.  I had been working in the Coffee House for some time.  I was close friends with David who was the chaplain’s assistant.  He was a good Christian man and was Presbyterian by church membership.  As I came down into the Coffee House (it was in the basement of a building) I ran into David in the doorway.  He looked terrible!  He was congested, coughing and was sweating (fever).  I asked him if I could pray for him.  He said, “Right now?”  I told him yes and he said he would like that.  So, I began to pray.  It’s important to note that I believe what the Bible says.  So, I prayed for David’s healing.  As I prayed I felt the Spirit of God surround us.  Suddenly I felt the symptoms of congestion, coughing and fever pass through me and disappear somewhere behind me.  I finished praying and opened my eyes.  David was staring at me wide eyed.  He asked me what had happened.  He said he felt the symptoms leave his body through his hands into my hands.  I told him that God had healed him.  Indeed, David’s symptoms were gone.  He was healed.   It was the hand of God being intimate with two men who loved him and called upon his name.  God kissed me.  I’m sure David felt the same way.  God is always that close! 

       You may think that this is just my exaggeration of God’s presence.  You would be wrong.  The Bible is full of men and women who cherished their close relationship with God.  They talk of their walking with God and listening to his voice of instruction and encouragement.  The first time God was intimate with me I wasn’t even saved at the time.  He’s that kind of God.  He is one “who draws near.”  October 1, 1972, I was on guard duty in a tower overseeing an ammunition bunker.  I was armed with a loaded .45 caliber pistol.  My life had been downward spiraling for some time after the death of a close friend.  Drugs and alcohol wasn’t killing the hurt for me anymore.  I had no one to talk with and had begun isolating myself from others.  Finally, I had come to the decision to kill myself.  Life wasn’t life at all.  So, I went on guard duty that night to complete the task.  Something told me to ask if there was a god.  So, I did.  The guard tower was filled with a warmth and I felt a hand on my left shoulder.  There was no one there with me and my eyes were open.  I knew in that instant that God had visited me.  As I bowed my head I felt his love wash over me. I left guard duty a different man.  I had been kissed by God. 

       That night God had shown his affection towards me.  That night he had heard my hearts cry and answered.  That night he heard my confession and forgiven me my sins.  That night God chose through the work of Jesus to remember my sins no more.  It took me a long time to wrap my head around this new me.  Since that night, I have had many wonderful times with Jesus in prayer and service.  I’ve also chosen to sin many times.  Sometimes I turned my back on God for months or years at a time.  What I quickly learned was that God was right beside me every moment during that time.  Just like he was when I was walking with him.  Though I have been away from God, he has never been away from me.  Jesus knows me intimately.  He knows what I will do or say before it’s even conceived in my brain.  He sends his angels to guard me from evil.  Who on earth would do that for me?  Who on earth would do that for you?  They may be able to put up with me when I’m in a good space but how about when I’m in a bad space? 

       When we walk away from God, we are feigning affection.  We are pushing away His love for us.  When we do this as Christians we are not only doing it to God but also to his people.  Why is this so bad?  This putting off love severs intimacy with God.  If you do this with God’s people you sever that intimacy.  Should you do that with a spouse, again you sever the intimacy.  No one can be intimate with himself or herself.  It is our sin that separates us from the love of God.  We are asked to “especially” not feign affection.  Why the specific language.  The writer of the Desiderata asks that we especially not damage or put off intimate affection.  There are many other ways of putting off affection that are not so direct.  For instance, when you don’t make time for someone, you feign affection and deny the God the moment to bless you through another person.  Sometimes we tell ourselves that we won’t take the help of another person.  Have you ever been invited to dinner/movie/church and refused?  Unless there is a good reason, you are feigning affection.  You can live your life with your plans and have less than God wishes for you.  But why would you do that?

       Remember that when you came to Christ your sins were erased and are remembered no more by God.  In our minds it’s quite another thing.  Satan loves to taunt us with thoughts of our past hoping to take us off track and pull away from Jesus.  If he can’t get to you directly he will use family, friends, co-workers, and anyone else he can find.  The motive is to create a wedge between you and God.  God remembers none of our wrongs when we have asked for forgiveness and repented.  He would like us to not remember our wrongs also.  Furthermore, God wants us to forget the wrongs of those around us.  When we stay within the love of God, we are more able to go through life in His power.  When we are attacked by spiritual forces or human ones with a weakened relationship with God, we succumb to the world around us.  Remember, God is never far away.  One step of prayer will bring us back into that right relationship and return us to peace. 

       I would be remiss if I didn’t take time to address how we humans have and do use affection to manipulate others.  We try to manipulate God but can never succeed.  So, we turn to others to manipulate.  We sinners (you know who you are) do not like to be caught sinning alone.  What we do is bring in a comrade, friend, spouse, co-worker, or some other person.  The process is quite subtle and doesn’t go as fast as I write.  Our memories are our most dreaded enemy.  The mind remembers everything even if you don’t.  Those around us remember our past as well.  Our enemies (some are our closest friends and family) smell the blood and go for the throat.  It’s hard to build; much less maintain affection between them and us.  Memories are supposed to work as reminders of what we are to do and what we are not to do.  Memories are for keeping us thankful for the blessings of God.  For some, the constant barrage of reminders of all we have done wrong their eyes keeps us captive. Perhaps you have people in your life who won’t let you forget the bad and try to ignore the good.  God is gracious.  Mankind is not. 

       While visiting with my oldest friend and sister, Charlotte, we talked, as we often did, of the history of our family.  We have our stories we like to tell and retell.  Sometimes we come upon a story (either she or me) that the other one doesn’t remember.  It’s not that we have forgotten the story.  It’s that we remember other stories more.  Our mind categorizes our memories and brings them to us when we want or need them.   So, it is with those who are less or more involved in our lives.  We both have perspectives that differ and have agreed to disagree where we don’t want to give in.  It’s a healthy relationship and one where we laugh regularly.  While some issues move through our minds that are negative we ignore them and stay focused.  Conversely, we keep the memories right up front that we appreciate or enjoy.  We choose to not keep a record of wrongs.  I know, and you do too, quite a few people who live in the past and only in the negative part of the past.  They keep track of wrongs and categorize them according to intensity so that the wrong may be used to manipulate or injure later.  During Jesus’ ministry of 3 years there is little said about the disciples past mistakes.  There was very little about their present mistakes.  Peter, Judas and Thomas were the ones who had their weakness and sin pointed out.  Jesus didn’t “lord” it over them.  Charlotte and I don’t “lord” over each other.  There is no reason, point, or constructive resolve that comes from that. 

       I have kept records of wrongs.  I’m not proud of this but it’s the truth.  I have kept records of the wrongs I have committed as well as those who have committed the wrong to me.  I don’t do much of that anymore. The division between keeping a record of wrongs and being wise in our choices once burned is huge.  God, in His Word, tells us to be angry and sin not.  That is a lot easier said than done.  It’s hard because we need to get out of the way of God.  When I contemplate a wrong, do I do so with the Spirit within me or do I do it by my own spirit?  We should always seek to see our world from God’s eyes.  With his vision we are less prone to go about life keeping records of wrongs.  I’d like to share with you a definition that I discovered a long time ago.  “Forgiveness has taken place when what you remember does not bother you anymore.”  In a journal I wrote that sentence.  I stopped and was shocked to see what was written as it carried much truth.  I began to look over the memories and the lists in my mind and addressing them, so they bothered me no more.  I’m still working on it.  Lack of forgiveness is not good.  Remember the Lord’s Prayer?  “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us.”  It’s like a chicken bone getting caught in your throat.  Where we would freely accept God’s forgiveness for our sins and erase his memory; we do not do so with those who have sinned against us.  If we had forgiven them, if we had let them off the hook, if we remembered their sins no more; we would not have any record of wrong done to us.  You want to be free of the sin of remembering wrongs of others?  Forgive them.  Yes, it’s that simple.  Take the time to go through your memories and forgive those who you haven’t forgiven.  You can even forgive someone who has passed away.  Perhaps it might be beneficial for you to compare their list to the one you have kept for yourself. 

       I’d like to point out one more observation about forgiveness in the Lord’s Prayer.  There is NO mention of others needing to come for us for forgiveness for us to forgive them.  Did you catch that?  Our forgiving others is not dependent upon or contingent upon forgiving them.  It’s not a choice.  We are not responsible for correcting them, for discipline of them or passing of judgment.  Remember that we shall be “judged as you have judged others.”  I don’t want that.  So, our judgment of others is paramount to our maintaining and growing affection between our fellow men and women (regardless whether they love God or not.)  With our keeping no record of wrong the boulder of separation between us will dissolve and intimacy of friends and fellow believers is possible.  To put it simply, first confess your own sins and seek God’s forgiveness.  Next, forgive others and get rid of the lists you have.  Third, let no barrier come between you and those around you.  Fourth, with this new environment, talk with your brothers and sisters about Jesus.  Remember your first love!  The love that God showered upon you while you were yet sinning. 

       What do we do with those who continue to sin against us?  Let them.  They cannot take that which we have received away from us.  If what we have, the love of God, the only way that love becomes ineffective is when we choose to not acknowledge the love and choose to stop loving as God has shown towards us.  We are told in Revelations as well as through some of the Old Testament prophets that there will be those who revolt against the Christian and bring all kinds of accusations upon the Christian.  This will include, for some, their own blood relatives and even their children and/or spouse.  In the end, betrayal will be rampant on the earth with much martyrdom of believers.  There have been millions of Christians who have been killed because of their faith within the world the last decade or two.  Denominations have become perverted allowing that which the Bible forbids.  Encouraging the acceptance of sin instead of holiness has only hastened the return of the Lord.  When he comes back, what will he find?  Will he find the “Christian” church ready or wrong? 

       What would those people and companies on your wrongs list think if you forgave them?  No, I’m not asking you to do so.  What would happen if you let them out of jail?  Here is a hint:  they would feel the same way you do when you have asked for forgiveness from God.  What would happen if they noticed a major change in your attitude and behavior towards them?  Here is another hint: they would feel the same way as when those around you relaxed and opened to you.  You see, it’s all in our choice.  It’s not in their choice.  They don’t need to go first for us to initiate forgiveness AND they don’t need to go first for us to hold out our hand and offer Jesus to those around us.  Now, what do you think would happen to the community if the church first did this to those around them?  No hint here.  You know what would happen.  What if the Christian church REALLY lived the Christian faith?  Perhaps others would want to be like us.  Perhaps they would want to be like you.  Perhaps that would turn into their wanting to be like Jesus.  That’s the point, isn’t it?

       It’s important that we do not feign affection.  You know that now if you didn’t know that before.  When we embrace the love of God and show forth his affection which is within us, the world around us will know.  When we do not keep any records of wrongs the world can be changed.  Don’t be a part of that which tears the Christian and Christian witness apart.  Do be a part of sharing the love of God anyway he asks.

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