Chapter 8. You may become vain and bitter. Galatians 5:22 Gentleness

       If you compare yourself to others, you become vain and bitter.  It’s a simple enough statement.  It is dependent upon the preceding chapter.  So, we must address it in the context which it was written in AND in conjunction with gentleness.  “If” is a key word in the phrase.  This one word opens the text and our God given free choice.  With this one word we open a world of blessing or curse.  Perhaps we pass that legacy on to our children, friends and co-workers.  Not intentionally, of course, but none the less the legacy is passed on.  We are “like” whomever had input in our life.  We continue to be in the same manner.  So, “if” you compare yourself to others, prepare to become vain and bitter.  Likewise, “if” you do not compare yourself to others, perhaps good will be the result.  The phrase does not give us an infinite choice in the matter.  We are given the prediction that if we follow, imitate, compare, associate ourselves with others and not God, we will become vain and bitter.  Again, notice the one word: “will” and in its context: “we will”.  It does not say anyone else nor implies anyone else.  We are the ones who chose, and we are the ones that embrace or repel the vain and bitterness or the grace of gentleness.  The question we must ask ourselves is; “How will our children, friends, relatives and co-workers deal with the legacy that we leave?” 

       Our world is complex.  Our world is simple.  We choose which one.  We make each one.  There are times when we must deal with the complex and so engage that complexity.  There are also times when we should engage complexity and yet do everything in our power to avoid the responsibility.  The same goes for simplicity.  Often, we take the simple and develop that simplicity into something complex in order to distance ourselves from dealing with anything at all.  Like a student delaying work on homework we push things off until we have no choice but to address that which we knew long ago would be coming our way.  This may manifest itself in ways we overlook as they have become the repeated behavior used to deal with life.  For example, are you the one who hurries to take the garbage cans to the curb just as you hear the truck coming?  Do you meet or call back the mailman to get that letter or bill payment on its way?  Perhaps you are the kind of student who works through the night before midterms reading the material for the first time.  Because we live a life based on our actions and reactions we, generally, live a simple complex life.   Having taken the simple and even mundane to the level of complex we leave behind the complex that will produce horrendous overload when the piper comes calling.  We know that.  Then we make decisions to continue in the same way with the same decisions for the same tasks anyway.  Our lives end up not reflecting a life led by simplicity, but a life led by dilemmas.  God wants our lives to be lived out in simple peace dependent on his provision and will. 

       We have plenty of role models of “vain and bitter” all around us.  From the neighbor next door to the highest office in the land they display their own kind of evil to all who listen and see. Just what is “vain” and how does it interact with our life?  Same question for “bitter”.  Being vain is being excessively proud: especially of personal appearance but also of accomplishments.  Anything that exalts one above another for self-glory.  Vain people make themselves the center of and go of their own world.  A world which is contemptuous towards others.  Vanity is a consuming fire that requires more and more fuel as it grows.  Like cancer in that it spreads from one area of one’s life (foothold) into the next until the whole person is enveloped in a self-destructive defensive life.  I have been there.  Have you been there?  It didn’t get so far as to destroy all my life and I hope the same for you.  If you are reading these words, then I feel comfortable that you didn’t let vanity consume you also.  The encounter to whatever depth is something we do not want to repeat.  Being who we are in a world we know is van the fight to stay outside of this temptation is immense.  Being bombarded every day with those around us and those in the world is difficult to dodge.    Vanity can be in specific areas as well.  Let me explain.  Do you know a person who presents one image in one setting and a grossly different one in another setting?  One of those “persons” is not true (or maybe both) to the real person they are or should be. 

Again, I’ve been there.  I’m not proud of those times in my life when I was so vain that I could not see my vanity.  There is a string of wounded I have left in my wake.  I’m not proud of what I’ve done and not done to them.  Today I try to make it through one day at a time to keep myself surrendered to God.  He is the only one who can effectively combat that temptation that lies there like a rug over a hole; waiting to consume me should I step too near.  Has this happened to you?  Do you, like me, suffer the consequences of my actions?  How are people doing with the consequences from my vain living?  It is here that we need to be able to understand that we do not live a life alone.  We live a life governed by what we love the most.  Satan wants us to love the way of the world and engage all sin presented before us.  That includes becoming vain. 

Lemons are bitter tasting.  So is vinegar and a host of other edible things.  Conflict is bitter to a lot of circumstances and topics.  Hurt is bitter and so is retaliation.  We are born into a bitter world.  Many try to mask that bitterness in different ways to just get through another day.  They then distance themselves from bitter people at work only to go home and engage the bitterness of their spouse or children.  Perhaps an extended relative or in-law is the source of the bitterness that eats away at the fabric that holds you and your loved ones together.  This thin thread, you hold onto, is all that keeps you grounded.  What are we doing to ourselves?  This does not come from God!  Equally, then why are we doing this to ourselves and others?  The truth can be bitter and sweet.  Truth told a closed person is not well received because it is bitter.  The weather can be bitter as well.  Culmination of all the above and it’s not uncommon to encounter bitter people.  Trying to wrap our heads around the problems we have can lead to bitterness.  The more out of control our lives are the more bitter we may become.  There are so many examples of bitter and bitterness that I cannot possibly name them all here.  So, I’ll settle for a few.  Rejection.  Condemnation.  Lies.  Injustice.  Hate.  You get the point. 

So, what are we to do?  Are we to just suck it up and take life head on?  Not without reinforcements!  Here is what I have done.  See if you notice anything like this in your life.  I have made excuses for others (lies sometimes) so they would not appear in a negative way.  I have joked it away (are you laughing yet?).  I have applied logic and turned it around to be a good thing.  I’ve taken the blame to not have it fall on a family member (any people out there living with an alcoholic, drug addict, abuser, or something like this?).  I have cancelled appointments and engagements, so someone wouldn’t see my loved one being bitter.  I have accepted the hurt under the understanding that this must be a consequence for something I have done.  I have given up “me” in order to try to be loved by a bitter person.  These are not healthy options.  I just want you to know that I understand and have been there and done that.  I sometimes still find myself doing them.  You would think I would learn, wouldn’t you?  There is a key as to why we would act like this.  Would you like to know what it is?

When we are born we have two fears already in place.  First is the fear of falling and then the fear of loud noises.  All other fears we learn.  These fears are taught to us by those around us.  Living in fear is not fun.  The Bible says that we are only looking for three elements in our lives be they singular or with many others.  We are all looking for love, acceptance and approval.  I think that we can find “goodness” within that trio.  There is nothing more and nothing less that each of us desire within our soul.  I have talked with and listened to thousands of people telling me what they wanted in their lives.  After sifting through the chaff, it all comes down to love, acceptance and approval.  It’s what I want.  More importantly, it’s what God wants for us.  He wants us to be free of any negative in our world.  Just to be clear, this won’t fully happen for us here on earth.  Why?  Because Satan is the god of this world.  He doesn’t want anyone to have love acceptance and approval.  Why?  Because he can’t have them.  However, you and I can.  God has told us to ask and these will be given to us.  He also knows how tangled out pasts are and that sometimes it takes a lot of work and discipline with surrender before we can have these wonderful gifts.

It’s no secret that we should avoid being vain and bitter.  What are we to do?  We can’t stay away from people.  Are we led to believe that having the vanity and bitterness gone from our lives is impossible?  Not if we read and understand the Bible.  Jesus encountered more vain and bitter people during the three years of his ministry than any other man on earth.  What did he do?  It’s simple.  He loved people.  The vain and the bitter couldn’t break past the shield of love.  The love that pushed and pulled him on his journey and mission was the cry of his heart.  He saw the vile of the world and how it had affected mankind.  He heard your and my cries when we have been hurt.  He knows the hearts of all mankind and knows their thoughts as well.  Vain and bitter behavior are fueled by fear.  Jesus knew no fear.  Neither should we.  We should not fear that which is in mankind.  Nor should we embrace it.  What is there to do?  How can we get out of this pit?  That’s a difficult question.  Not that we cannot get out but what must transpire within us so that the pit goes away.  Is that what you would like?  It’s the wish of my heart.  So, you ask, why do you still have to deal with this o great author?  Because I am human.  Just like everyone else I struggle to live life the best I can. 

Before we get battle weary before we even fight we should take a moment to understand the battle.  The battle is over your soul.  For the non-believer the battle doesn’t appear like much of a battle at all.  Your eyes have not been opened to what God has for your life.  You have not seen how far you are from salvation.  For you, the first step is knowing that you are lost without Jesus.  Telling him you need him is the first step.  The second step is confessing your sins and giving sanctification a chance in your life.  Read the Bible, pray, seek the guidance of others who know God and most importantly; make your life all about Jesus.  This task is much harder for the Christian.  You believe and, yet you don’t.  You ask and don’t receive because you ask with worldly wants and desires.  You are bitter and vain because you have not surrendered your life to God.  There is more to be a Christian than just asking Jesus into your heart.  You need to make room for him by abandoning the things of the world.  With the title of each chapter you will see one of the fruits of the spirit.  These are what are supposed to be in place in a life surrendered to Jesus.  Why?  Because, as Paul said, “It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives within me.”  Our lived show where we are in this process of surrendering our life fully to Christ.  The Bible calls it “sanctification” and it means an ongoing process of purging anything worldly from our lives as the Holy Spirit shows them to us. 

Now, this is the tough part in this lesson.  When we allow Jesus to take control of our lives we have love, acceptance and approval for the very first time in our lives.  When we are forgiven there remains no trace in God’s eyes of our sin.  The Bible tells us he throws it into the sea of forgetfulness never to remember them anymore.  So, why do we remember them?  There is a lot of blame to go around as to how this has come to be in our lives.  The short lesson is that we have kept them for ourselves.  We don’t believe that God can really love, accept and approve of us because we know ourselves better than he knows us.  Listen!  God knows everything about us AND He still wants only goodness to go into us and flow out of us.  One of the few questions we should ask ourselves before we think, say or do things is: “Is this love?”  The more we hold back from surrendering to God, the less we must go through us towards others. 

We are not able to love anyone any more than we allow God to love us.  You and I cannot give what we do not have.  We can give platitudes but if our actions speak otherwise they are worthless.  To have a vessel (ourselves) that is able to give the love of God to the world around us we must first accept his love, acceptance and approval.  The old is passed away and the new is not the power within us.  God is who makes us new.  We just need to give up.  That sounds easy but is not for several reasons.

So, here we go.  There are so many different interpretations of the Bible that mankind has taken to having so many denominations to meet everyone’s perceived needs but Gods.  Each denomination puts their own interpretation and spin on what they want it to say.  Even in our religion we have formed a picture of what we believe God is rather than what God says he is.  What a vain and bitter people we are.  Rather than embrace God and his Word, we choose instead to go where we feel comfy, hear what we want to hear, do what we want to do, and engage people just like us who don’t want their relationship with Jesus to interfere with their “real” lives.  Who are we kidding?  There is sufficient material written in the Bible (breathed word of God) that we will never plumb the depths of it.  Guess what happens if you study the Bible and allow God to talk to you?  You become more like Jesus.  Guess what happens if you don’t?  Guess what happens when you pray?  You become more like Jesus.  Guess what happens if you don’t?  Guess what happens when you worship Him?  You become more like Jesus.  Guess what happens if you don’t.  If you don’t feel close to God; guess who moved.  Jesus didn’t.

Here we are.  What do you want to do?  You can’t run and hide because you know the truth.  What do you want to do?  Here is what I want to do.  I want to have so much love, acceptance and approval showing forth that those negatives of the world make no damage in my life.  I’ve done enough damage so far.  God has forgiven that.  Today (everyday) is a new start.  Today is our chance to once again surrender.  We don’t have to work at this or that.  All we need to do is surrender.  Give up.  Quit.  End the fight.  Be empty so God can fill us.  It’s only then that we can see changes in our lives.  It’s only then that others will be able to see Jesus in us.  What is it going to be for you today?  It’s all your choice and up to you.  No one can make you do anything.  You must choose.  Don’t be so naïve as to think you can surrender once and your life will be just peachy.  Sanctification doesn’t work that way.  It’s a necessary step in the believer’s life to surrender as many times during a day as necessary to bring about a Christ controlled life.  We cannot fight the battle.  I cannot fight the battle. 

You don’t have to fight the battle.  Jesus will through you.  That’s the solution.  Seems so easy and we make it so hard.  Stop making it so hard and take the easy way out.  Make your life a life of goodness.  Remember it is all about Jesus and not me-sus.