Listening is rapidly becoming a lost art in society. People hear each other as they give or take orders, yell, scream and share life's intimate moments. Hearing doesn't involve any actual connection. It's like I hear a person say "Hi" or "How are you?" to me and I hear it. I even answer with my own "Hi" or "How are you?" Did he hear me or listen to me? I heard him but I didn't listen to him. Several years ago in downtown Seattle I asked a strange walking the opposite direction this very question. He stopped (first sign) and said, "Do you really care about how I am?" I stopped and said, "Yes." though at the time I didn't really. He knew that. I stayed engaged for a few moments before he said, "Don't say it unless you mean it!" He then walked away. Do I wish I could redo that moment? Yes. So, now I do that moment different when I see someone or hear them ask the question. Do I want to be someone who hears or someone who listens? The latter for sure.
Sometimes we hear the question but fail to hear the message. Peter was such an example. He had betrayed Jesus 3 times prior to Jesus' death. After the resurrection Jesus met Peter and said to him, "Peter, do you love me?" Peter responded "Yes Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Then feed my sheep." After this exchange had taken place twice Peter answered, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus tells him to feed his sheep and his future ending the conversation the way he had begun with Peter, "Follow me." Peter finally listened. It was about Jesus and bringing people to Jesus out of pure motive of love. Why did it take so long for Peter to listen to Jesus? Because, like us, he had been taught to hear but not to listen. Hearing requires the ears but listening requires the heart, soul and mind.
"You never listen to me!" That phrase can come from any age person. What comes to mind most is the parent vs teen conversations. While conversations describe an exchange of words; there is more to the word. Conversation is a word that requires interaction. While I can talk to the voices in my head, that's different. My exchange between God and I, my family and I, my friends/co-workers and I, and my enemies and I should all be conversations directed by and initiated by the Holy Spirit. In this way, we glorify God and feed His sheep. Sheep aren't smart. Sometimes neither am I. We need something to get our attention in order for us to transform from "hearers" to "listeners". There needs to be this transformation in order to first be able to hear God's voice and then to listen to what e says to us. The same is true for our conversations with others. We must be able to first "hear" what they say. Then we must "listen" to what they are really saying.
It's been said that we shouldn't ask questions about what we already know and we shouldn't ask questions about what we don't want to know. I know that strangers, for the most part, don't want to answer the question I posed in the start of this blog. I know that strangers will and do want us to listen to them. Once we hear God we are left with the listening. Listening to God is so much better than me listening to myself. When God is silent, I should be as well. That is still listening to His voice. Sometimes there are no words that can or should be spoken. It's time to listen and be silent. Silence doesn't mean we don't care. We are there because we care. Silence is in some sense an agreement that this is where the conversation stops and the empathy begins. Just for this moment and just for this hour and day I will try to listen and not just hear. How about you?
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