When it's time to give up...

     If you even have a tenth of what's gone on in my life, you, like me, want to give up.  Sometimes even before you get out of bed in the morning.  It has nothing to do with depression or anxiety.  It has everything to do with being wore down by the various things of the world and including the attacks of the enemy.  Sometimes I just want to yell: "Shut up and go away!" to anyone who will listen.  Except in those moments those you want to hear aren't there and aren't listening.  I'm not sure how many of you knew that Simon and Garfunkel were philosophers.  Take the song "The Sound of Silence".  The message begins with the lament of how we have distanced ourselves from reality even though we fought hard to maintain our senses.  The song moves into the "signs" that pop up to keep all focused on them instead of humanity.  The songs ends with an accusation of how we sell out rather than do what is right.  In the end humanity falls down and worships signs erected by some unknown power that demands we not care.
     Back when the song was popular I sang that song at a concert to about 300 people.  I didn't focus on the meaning of the song until years later.  Reading the lyrics awoke within me both a sense of futility and a challenge to never go there myself.  But...  I've been there and done that numerous times both in my Christian life and my life in the world I find myself in.  O' wretched man that I am!" Paul laments.  It's my lament as well.  I recently listened, really listened, to the words of the song as if I'd never heard them before.  Rocked to the bottom of my soul I laid in bed not wanting to get up.  I soon realized that one of those tasks before me was placed by God and it's the responsibility to not give into the "sign" but to persevere and be that person God wants me to be in spite of what the world throws at me.  Waking up is Gods choice and it begins long before we go to bed.  So, what to do?  What to think and what to say.  Silence is a good choice.
     Sometimes the best thing I can do is simply keep my mouth shut and let God sort it out.  That means that I need to exercise faith that he will actually do that.  My choice is to meditate on his Word and to focus on what's before me, not what's distracting me from yesterday.  Is this easy?  Nope!  Never was, never was promised and most likely, never will be.  Do what you can though.  Don't bow down to the sign.  DO SOMETHING!  SAY SOMETHING!  BE SOMETHING!  When you fall, get up and try again.  I only fail during the time I'm awake!  I do really try to be my best, do my best and emulate Jesus.  The devil doesn't that to happen.  I have had (had because they are no longer around) friends and relatives who have urged me to stop with the Great Commission stuff.  Can't do that.  I can pray, seek others wisdom, change tactics but I can never stop proclaiming Jesus even when I'm still sinning.  Remember it's always your choice.