Okay, I absolutely HATE spiders. They have their function as part of nature. The flies and other bugs their webs catch keep them nourished and us with less bugs. They don't belong in my house, car, shop, or other buildings. They certainly don't belong on me. At one point in my life I as so afraid of spiders that my wife had to kill them for me as they terrified me so much. I grew up on a Midwest farm and there were spiders all over the place. They ranged from tiny to huge. I didn't like any of them. The only good spider was a dead spider became my mantra. Then I found out that there were people who actually liked spiders! They would hold them, talk with them, usher them outside so that they could go on with their spider lives. I couldn't believe it! Watching a National Geographic documentary (I should have skipped this one) I learned that in some countries spiders were eaten as part of the people's diet. They certainly have taken this way to far. Even though God showed Paul that all living creatures were okay to eat, I believe there were no spiders on the menu.
I feel passionate about my hate of spiders. I am focused and very clear on my boundaries. I even bought these plug in ultrasonic devices that rid your room, home, garage of bugs. They work wonderfully! I'm at a place in my recovery where I can kill small spiders. However, the bigger the spider, the more I look to my wife or others to kill the spider. Then they catch it and release it outside. At least it's gone. I once read that unaware we swallow several spiders over time during our sleep. I now sleep with my mouth closed. Yuck! My dog will catch and kill spiders but only inside the house. This leads me to an affirmation of my belief that spiders do not belong in the house. Some things are just that way. Spiders are tenacious. I hate walking into a spider web that I didn't see! Puts me in a state of panic as I claw to get the web off me. Then for the next few hours I feel phantom spiders crawling on me.
Now I know there are "harmless" and "harmful" spiders. I don't always take the time to note which one is crawling towards me. To me they are all harmful. Okay, I'm prejudice! With that in mind, it's clear we live in different worlds. Mine is one where I think pests don't belong where I am. When I compare this obsession with other areas of my life; there is quite the discrepancy. Chocolate isn't good for me. Yet, there it is hiding in my pantry waiting for the moment to jump on me and firmly attach itself onto my love handles. There are "goodies" reserved for the kids that tend to be more of a temptation than I can bear. Even though I try to be diligent about what takes place in my life I often miss the basic and major elements in and for my life.
Why don't I have the same focus and intensity with reading the Bible? How about applying that focus on my Christian witness? Why not be more disciplined with what I let into my life. Just why do I feel that my spiritual state doesn't require the same fixation as I have for my hate of spiders? These are great questions and need to be asked. However, after asking, the questions still must be answered. Do I hold back on my Christian witness because of fear? How about my prayer life? Do I shove it aside so that I can have the chocolate? Then there is the lack of discipline in my physical life both with my weight and my exercise. What does my Christian life tell others about Christ? Am I to believe that God wants me to feel as focused and intense in my Christian life as I am with my fear of spiders? Yes, God wants me to be fixated on Him and Jesus. When I fix my eyes on Jesus there is no mistaking what God wants from and for my life. How about you? Do you feel intensely the love of God? Do you share that love of God. Christianity isn't supposed to be a solitary living experience.
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