Why do I do it?!

     Paul tells us this very statement.  He said that he did the things he shouldn't do and didn't do that which he should do. This is the same guy who wrote 3/4 of the New Testament.  This is the same guy who had the equivalent of a Doctors in Theology degree.  Now, tell me, am I like him?  Yep.  That's the short answer.  The long answer is boring and leads to the same conclusion.  So, let's pretend that we are perfect.  No, that doesn't work either.  Here he was sitting on his camel out on a mission to kill Christians (hmmm...going on today too) when he is blinded by God and verbally confronted.  Okay, God would have had my attention too.  Paul has this conversion, is forgiven and then goes on sabbatical for 3 years.  Not a bad job. 
     Let's cut to the chase shall we.  All sin is selfishness and all obedience is unselfishness.  I know that we can justify and rationalize our actions, non-actions and choices.  That's the easy part.  We've been doing that ever since the incident in the garden about the fruit eaten.  It's never about the fruit on the tree or even the garden.  It's been about our choosing to be obedient to God. There is a setup by which we are duped into thinking that God will somehow be okay if we do this or that once.  We think since lightening hasn't struck that our behaviors are alright in the eyes of God.  We get to a point where we choose to sin.
     After preaching a sermon one Sunday long ago, I overheard an elderly attendee say that she didn't like the sermon because I had preached like she was a sinner.  I'm so sorry.  How could I be so hard hearted?  People really do want to hear what they want to hear.  Sometimes we listen to God speak to us and all we can do is think about how that is what so and so hear.  I actually had a chance to hear this spoken rather directly.  One of a bunch of church elders said that he felt that in this particular problem we (the church) would need to disobey God's direction.  Still no lightening!  You could feel the Holy Spirit leave and slam the door. 
     Choices that I have made in my personal life fall on two sides of the same sword.  First were the personal choices where no one was sinned against except God.  That should have been enough to bring me to my senses.  The second personal choice affected those around me.  Whether that was to/about an individual or a group of individuals.  Speaking of swords... I was once enlightened about a means to enter into heaven.  This world and heaven were separated by a deep fiery chasm.  Across it's expanse was a long sword.  In order to get into heaven you would need to traverse the sword.  The problem was in the decision making.  As you began your walk you life would be played out before you.  If you hadn't accepted Jesus as your Savior the sword which was once flat, would turn on edge by which no man or woman was able to stay on.  They would fall into the fire of hell for all of eternity.
     So, why do I do it still?  It's all selfishness.  Choosing to sin is selfishness.  Choosing to sin says, "I am the god of my world."  Really?!  How did that work for you?  The edge of that sword gave me cuts on the bottom of my feet.  It's been said that we address issues in our lives only when doing the action causes us to admit that we are sick.  We have developed a level of tolerance that says we can sin this far and no more.  Dulled senses help teach this to our kids as well.  They do watch and hear what we adults do and say.  What's it going to take for me to give over those areas of my life that are steeped in sin?  What's it going to take for you to do the same?