Wednesday April 14, 2014 4:44 AM

 

     You may think I've got the wrong date and time in the heading today.  I would agree that today is not the year 2014 and it's more like 7:54 AM.  So, what's the story behind the date?  It's an anniversary of sorts for me.  Sometimes we have experiences so unique that they are hardwired into our brains and on that day every year we revisit the day and what took place.  I have lots of anniversaries with births, deaths, serious incidents, and the like.  I'm sure you do as well.  On April 14, 2014 at 4:44 AM I was brought back to life.  I had died, was on my way to heaven and remember every facet of the experience.  As I was walking towards the gateway I looked around and realized my work wasn't done here on earth.  I was returned to life and found myself taking a deep gasp of breath and feeling very sad that I couldn't go to be with Jesus as I had started to do.  I've longed to go home to Jesus as long as I've been a Christian.  Today the longing is even stronger as that is what anniversaries do.  It's not that God told me to go and do a certain thing with certain people in certain places.  It's more like God told me to go and be a representative of his in every circumstance with everyone.  I remember sitting on my bed and reviewing what had happened.  There was the feeling of being overjoyed, overwhelmed and over stimulated in more ways that I have ever been before.  It was real and still is.
      I have other anniversaries as well.  March 1985 the suicide death of a police officer that I watched die as the ambulance was called.  May 17, 1985, having a man shoot himself in front of me.  August 1985 a suspicious package at a fast food restaurant that contained a newborn baby girl that had been strangled to death.  June 13, 2009 waking from shoulder surgery to learn I was paralyzed from the waist down.  See, most of the anniversaries we think about are negative and have impacted us in ways we cannot have ever thought was possible.  I have PTSD from all of these experiences.  They will be with me in a negative sense for the rest of my life.  I'm sure you have some as well.  Maybe more or less dramatic, but you do have them.  The death experience was different.  It was a positive experience, created no trauma, and encouraged me even though I was sad not to be in heaven.  I know that heaven is real.  I know that when I breathe out my last breath here on earth I will breathe in my first breath in heaven.  That's how quick it happens.  I couldn't tell anyone that before the experience with any kind of proof.  Now I have a testimony of what happens when God takes us home.
      Another element of anniversaries surfaces on the changes that take place in our lives.  With the negative experiences we often focus on what I did or didn't do, how I could have done this or that differently, or even why didn't I do something before it's too late.  None are meant to be positive and uplifting.  They are sad, unhappy events for most people.  Psychopaths and sociopaths excluded.  Sometimes these events take us down.  Sometimes they take people out through suicide.  I'd be lying if I told you I've never thought of suicide.  Perhaps you have as well.  The first anniversary of my death and being brought back to life has changed those desires.  The hope for the future overshadows the negative of the past.  All of the experiences we have are in the past.  That should be a clue.  We aren't meant to live in the past.  We are meant to live for today.  Not yesterday and not tomorrow.  Today.  Our very lives can be required of us at any moment.  We should be determined to live life and let Christ live through us for this very reason.  When I'm distracted by the past negative anniversaries I am unable to glorify God.  When I am focused on the present and the positive God can use the past experiences, positive and negative, to bring glory and honor to Him.
      As I was walking down that path to the entrance to heaven I was so at peace!  I wasn't concerned about anyone or anything.  I was going to be with the King!  It was when I turned and looked around that I saw the work that needed to be done.  It was then that God brought me back and put me to work.  What would have happened if I hadn't looked around?  I don't know.  It doesn't matter.  What happened was of God.  I'd like to say that I chose to return but know that wasn't my choice.  All I could do was choose to be willing.  That's all I can do today.  Live each day as if it's both my first and last.  One day it will be my first day forever with Jesus.  But today I choose to live my life for Jesus.  It's my choice here on earth.