I was thinking...bad choice!

     We aren't to be robots who simply carry out written script.  That would not be good or render us with a spirit.  Nor are we to be mirror images or anyone except God.  That's because no one but God created us.  It seems like some are intent on not only living someone else's life but have also denied their own.  I was reminded lately that people have individual wills that don't necessarily reflect what my life reflects.  That doesn't make me superior.  It makes me, like them, individuals.  While there are expectations that others have of me, it's very plain that some of those expectations aren't what God wants from me.  The world of identity in Christ is not easily attained as it requires giving up my worldly identity.  When I do that people come and go in my life like everyone else's lives.  As we change our needs and focus change.  Sometimes people come along and other times they don't.  Just as I have that choice so do they.  When we choose Christ, we are called out of the world and into a relationship with Him.  The two cannot co-exist without turmoil and distraction.  Sometimes others would like us to be that robot and the mirror image of who they are.  I was thinking...and it was a bad choice when I chose to be like anyone but Jesus.
     Would you imagine with me that you and I are standing before the throne of God on that day we are called home.  It's a joyous occasion and the throng is rejoicing.  Then comes the moment when the Book of Life is opened.  Hurray!  My name is found and so is yours.  Our celebration is brought up short when a thumb drive is produced by the devil for review by God.  Your and my heart stop.  God takes the thumb drive and inserts it in the computer.  He already knows what is on the drive because he knows everything about us.  The 10 foot by 20 foot screen behind God lights up with all the files of your and my life.  All I can think is "Please don't open those files!"  The first file is opened and then the second and on it goes until every file has been opened for not only me to see but everyone else as well.  This won't be a private viewing.  With my face to the ground and tears streaming from my eyes I am without excuse.  Excuse for what?  For thinking while I was on earth rather than living the life Christ wanted me to live.  There is no making it right, no going back to witness to that person, no chance to love just one more time on my family.  It's final.  It's sad.  It's a result of my thinking and it was bad choices.
     As I lay there on the glassy floor before the throne of the Father I feel a hand on my shoulder and a voice telling me to get up.  I look up and it's Jesus who's addressing me.  I feel so unworthy.  I see the wounds on his hands and feet.  There is a thumb drive in his hand.  As I stand, he addresses the Father and says, "Father, look at this thumb drive as well."  He gives the drive to the Father an again the many files come up with various titles.  One is entitled "This one".  Jesus tells the Father to open only that file.  But the devil objects yelling, "No!  Open them all."  Jesus says, "As you wish."  As they open file after file there is nothing in any of them.  They are all empty.  Finally the "This one" file is opened and there it is October 1, 1971 midnight in a guard tower in Kitzingen, Germany.  It's me coming to the end of myself and giving my life to Jesus.  That's all there is in this file.  Jesus addresses the Father and tell him "Father, he is mine and he's forgiven."  There I am before the throne of God waiting for the other foot to fall.  It doesn't come.  To my amazement, I hear the Father say, "Well done my good and faithful servant.  Welcome to heaven."  I was thinking...bad choice.  It's your choice as well. Always.