My mom's been gone for some years now. She had taken my dad to the doctor for an appointment and collapsed in the waiting room. They found she had a brain tumor and late stage cancer. She was taken to surgery and the orange size tumor was removed. The cancer has metastasized and they couldn't get all of the cancerous tumor. The doctors told her the options for treatment and she chose to have quality of life over quantity of life. She was 68. She died a few months later in her sleep. Prior to that I visited with my parents. They lived in Wyoming and I in Washington. I had plenty of time to think as I drove to see them. My childhood trough that present day were relived. Some of it was bad and some of it was good. This trip was to tell my mom goodbye. This trip was to tell her that I loved her. This trip, for me, was to put her in the hands of Jesus. She had previously told me hat she had Jesus as her Savior so I wasn't worried about that aspect at all.
I arrived a bit apprehensive. My parents and I hadn't seen each other in several years. Quite a few years really. It wasn't for a lack of trying on my part. Things were complicated. I was happy to see them and told them so. My mom looked and was frail. Her hard life had taken a toll on her and it showed in her physical presence. "Chit chat" is what they called our communication for the first day. Nothing serious, nothing heavy, nothing controversial...just chit chat. The second day mom asked to take a walk. So we all took a walk. The walk was short. Mom asked if she could hold onto my arm due to balance problems (I thought). As we reached the apex of our walk my mom said to me: "Steven (she always called me Steven), look at us. I used to help you walk when you were little and now you are helping me walk when I'm unable to do it alone." I agreed and back to chit chat. Later in the day we had all eaten dinner (supper in Wyoming) and were sitting in the living room just chit chatting. In a lull in the chit chat Mom said: "Steven." calling for my attention. I answered her and she continued: "I wish I had played with you more often when you were small." I told her that it was okay. She smiled.
When I was a young man I flew quite a bit. I was in the practice of saying goodbye, turning and walking to my plane without looking back. That changed that day when it came time to leave. I said goodbye to my mom last. As I approached her there were tears in both of our eyes. I knew that it would be the last time I would see her here on earth. I spoke first and told her that I loved her and was glad that I had been able to come and be with her. She responded the same and then I felt a push to tell her: "See you in heaven mom." She said: "I'll see you there." These were the last words I spoke with my mom. They still catch in my throat. My eyes still water up and sometimes I still cry like I did that day. One last caveat. My mom told me that she was proud of me. There wasn't anything else to say. I got in my car and drove away.
A few months later while my sister was visiting our parents mom went in to take a nap. She never woke up on earth again.
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