On a recent vacation I went into a store and found this T-shirt that I absolutely had to buy! It said, "My wife says I don't listen, or something like that!" Even she agreed that it was very appropriate. I've worn the t-shirt lots of places and men and women alike have been stopping me to read the shirt. Many smiles, heads shaking, and outright laughing. Why? Because people recognize that this is true. We are a people who don't REALLY listen. We "hear" but we don't "listen." When we are passing people coming towards us there is the eye contact followed with a head nod (if you are a guy) and then maybe followed up with "How are you?" This is done to friend and stranger alike. Living in Chicago I was taught a very important lesson as I said this to one individual. This man stopped, looked at me and said, "Do you really want to know?" Not being in a hurry I told him that I did want to know. He didn't believe me an told me so. He turned and walked away. I was left wondering if I really did want to know, what I thought would be said, and the quandary that we both would be left with if this communication took place.
Communication has expectations. Not necessarily general expectations like answering when addressed; but certainly specifically to what people want FROM rather than what people GIVE to the communication. We call it "selective hearing" in my circle of people. We hear what we want to hear AND say what we want others to hear. This is not communication at its best. What is the Christian supposed to do with communication? Is it fair to have expectations of others? Is it fair for others to have expectation of us? For instance, you or I are having a bad day. It happens. With me, I shut down and don't want to communicate with anyone. With you, perhaps you want to have someone who will listen and not interrupt. In a "bad" space we wouldn't communicate very well. I grew up in a world where the rule was "Children should be seen and not heard." and "Children should only speak when spoken to." Not really encouraging of good communication. Some people only speak out of anger while others speak only when there is no chance of anger. Neither is a good thing or a good role model.
What do we do? Communications within the Christian context are complicated at best. If we speak our heart about a Biblical principle; we risk the anger, rejection and condemnation of others (especially Christians). If we listen to the world and exercise tolerance of the world, then we fail to communicate the intolerance of sin he Bible speaks of. What do we do and whom do we follow? The enemy has created an environment of fear in communication for the Christian. The world has reinforced that fear with lawsuits and allegations from many different angles in order to have the Christian conform to the world. Peter and John were brought before the religious authorities after the resurrection and were ordered to NOT speak the name of Jesus. Peter said that this gave them no choice but to choose to obey God rather than man. Needless to say, "the rest is history." But is it in our lives? Are we afraid to speak the gospel? Are we fearful of worldly consequences for upholding the Biblical standard in our home, church, work, and elsewhere?
Christian communication is complicated at best by the fear factor. Christian communication is best achieved when we step outside of our comfortable home, church, work and be Christ to the world regardless of consequence. God is alive. God is able. God will care for your and my need as is promised. Why the fear? Selfishness. We are a selfish people who want from man what we already have from God; love acceptance and approval. What would happen if we no longer were concerned about what the world thinks of Jesus in us? Would there be complications? Yes, there would be. People don't know what to do with confident testimony of what Jesus has done and is doing in our lives. Have a confident testimony that you communicate through thought word and deed anyway.
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