They didn't tell me the rules!

     Rules are everywhere and yet many of us grew up not knowing the rules.  Worse yet, the rules have changed over time and some are not even close to the original.  Take for example dinner table rules.  Don't put your elbows on the table.  Not a problem for the generation that eat on the couch in the family room or the teenager who stacks dishes in their rooms because they forgot where they got them.  Remember the bathroom rules?  Put the lid down when you are done.  Most have given up on this fight in favor of "pick up your dirty clothes and towels when you're done."  Some rules were particular to relationships.  For instance implied or spoken children weren't to speak unless spoken to.  That's one that is gone.  The rules for respect of elders has also diminished and in a lot of instances disappeared over the years.  How about the rule that you go to school, study hard, find a job and be a contributor to society?  My favorite though is the Golden Rule.  Do unto others what you would like them to do unto you.  Sounds simple enough but would I really like someone heavy into some of the fringe cultures sharing their world with me?  I think not.
     Some of the rules we learned were sick.  Like, dads upset what did I do wrong?  The rule was that somehow what was wrong was my fault.  As you go through the Bible from beginning to end this rule is present more often than not.  All we did was travel to Egypt to escape the famine and to live.  What did we do to deserve slavery?  David and his men fleeing King Saul must have wondered the same thing.  Adam and Eve were there in the garden minding their own business when that serpent arrived and the rest is history.  Yep, that's where it started.  God had told them they had everything and needed nothing.  They were innocent and didn't even know what "wrong" meant.  Then one day all that changed for not  only them but for every man, woman and child on earth from that day to eternity.  Thank you Adam and Eve!!!  There was only ONE rule and they broke it.  Why?  Because they wanted to.  Most of the time when I break a rule I do so for the very same reason.  How about you? 
     We don't need to own other people's actions and reactions.  We only need to own our own actions and reactions.  People cannot make me feel like I broke the rules.  I need to acknowledge that I broke the rules of my own volition.  When I sin, "the devil didn't make me do it."  I chose to do sin.  I don't excuse anyone from making their own choice to break the rules.  Since that privilege is for God to do the task is none of my business.  What if (here comes a novel thought) we actually were honest with God, others and ourselves about our life.  Good, bad, indifferent alike were to be openly discussed and with me acknowledging that I had failed to obey the rules.  What rules am I talking about?  There are only two.  I knew nothing of either of them until I was 20 years old.  Until that time the rules I knew were a mixed bag of everything.  Whatever felt right.  The two rules that have stood the test of time are first to "love the Lord God with all your heart, soul and mind.  The second is like it in that we are to "love our neighbors as ourselves."  Wait!  That really sounds like only one rule:  to LOVE. What if we actually had all of our life centered offensively on love and defensively on nothing? 
     The people around me growing up couldn't tell me what the rules were because they didn't know them themselves.  How can you go around sharing LOVE when you're busy taking care of your own agenda?   I grew up in a prison of sick and selfish rules that damaged me in many ways.  Some of them affect me still today.  The love of God has been transforming my life since I gave my life to him in 1972.  That's a lot of years at work to have not finished the job.  Probably because there is so much trash to clean out first.  If over the years I had been concentrated on cleaning out my own trash and less concerned about the splinter in others eyes, maybe I'd be further along.  So, today, I will try to stay with the loving and leave the rest to God.

The older I get, the less I know.

     Most people like or even love surprises.  Some people love to create surprises even for people who don't like surprises.  Imagine, if you will, that you (guy) have been dating this cute young lady who makes your head swim.  Besides kissing and holding hands nothing has transpired in your relationship that could forewarn the announcement by her that she is pregnant!  "Who's the guy?!  I demand to know!!" would be the most common response.  Hearing, "God" isn't one of the top names.  But that's how surprises work.  One day you are a young 14 year old girl and the next day you are carrying the Son of God.  All in the day of us ordinary people.  Jeremiah was a young man of about the same age when God came to him.  Jeremiah was a good God fearing teenager who had aspirations of having his own goat herd, wife and 2.5 children.  What he didn't expect was a conversation with God where he was told to not marry, not have a home, not have a goat herd and not have 2.5 children.  God said, "Your life will be miserable as you prophesy doom and destruction followed by captivity to the people of your town."  Okay then...  Surprises seem to have elements of the unknown in them.  We don't know why God chooses us.  We don't even know where he is leading us.  Sometimes we say and do what he tells us to say and do and we don't know what the results will be or for whom they are intended. 
     The older I get the less I know.  After studying many years, gaining degrees, living in many different vocations and locations, I know this much; I don't know much.  The wisdom of the 80 year old lady living down the street who has the "perfect" garden blows me away!  The carpenter, now retired, watching me try to do a simple project, offers me advice and even help.  I take it because I have found out that the older I get the less I know.  Sorry, can't apply that to politicians or lawyers.  My ability to stop, look around, and then realize there is less I know for sure has grown with my age.  I revere the elderly who have a peace with not knowing.  Being content to just know that God knows what he is doing, when he is doing it and how he is doing it is enough for the day.  In Matthew we are told to take no thought for tomorrow for this day has sufficient things to think about.  Every 12 step program has the "One day at a time" clause for good cause.  It's not that we shouldn't seek to know more because we are also commanded to continually learn.  There is that innate part of us that is drawn to that which we don't understand.  The key is found in getting older and wiser.
     When I was younger and knew everything, my thoughts on a myriad of subjects was so scattered that few points were connected like they now are.  What I though was important wasn't really all that important.  What I passed off as unimportant were the most important life changing things.  People who were just another car on the freeway when I was young knew little and had less to offer me.  I've passed up more knowledge in my life than I can even imagine just because I didn't have my eyes open and my mouth shut.  The "wisdom of the ages" is there for a reason.  The older I get, the less I know.  But I do know that there are many times when I could have learned life's truths and been more of who God wanted me to be.  More of what God wanted me to do as well.  I don't regret much of my past.  I regret not knowing anything.  If I could go back I wouldn't do it any different because when I was young I knew everything.  If I could go forward I would urge all to have humility that comes from not knowing everything.  However, I have only today, the present.  So, I'll suffice it to say that I will relish today.  I will take time for the people in my life.  I will be silent more and talk less.  I'll not offer opinions as much and wait to be asked for any wisdom that I might have. 
     The older I get, the more thankful I am for the largeness of life.  The older I get the more peace I feel.  There is so much I don't know.  Yet, this I do know.  I know that Jesus loves me, that I am in his arms and that one day I'll go live with him in Heaven.  This I know to be true.  I've told my children, friends and other family this so they will know where to find me.  God has surprised me almost as many times as I've surprised others.  I'm not pregnant, nor am I a prophet.  But God isn't finished with me yet.  My task is to be leadable, teachable and accountable to God rather than to man.  That's what is required of every believer.  Maybe you learned something to day. 

Sometimes I just don't fit in anywhere.

     Sometimes I just don't fit in anywhere.  It's usually because of my bias or just the weird place I am in my mind.  I'm not always the sanest person in the world!  I just ask that the world understand and tolerate those times I don't seem to be fitting in.  An example to point this out came up recently.  As many of you know I have PTSD.  Though I am doing okay most of the time there are still places and situations where I don't feel comfortable and have even felt threatened.  One of those places is at church.  Yep!  At church.  I find myself wanting to be there in the invisible state.  So, I sit in the back corner so that I can watch the crowd and not have people behind me.  Then as soon as practical I leave after the sermon is done.  Social crowds often are awkward for me.  Why?  Because I don't like to be asked questions that elicit personal information.  It's not that people say, "Why are you so weird?"; because they don't.  I just read it into their facial expressions and intonation of certain words.  I've been told that even normal people experience this. 
     Quite a number of years ago I was travelling through Nevada and stayed overnight in one of their towns.  On Sunday morning I went to a local Christian church to worship.  It was VERY obvious that I didn't belong.  Which of these is not like the others?  I was the "stranger" in their midst.  The sermon seemed to be spoken to me.  The questions were to me.  I was asked to stand and introduce myself and when the altar call was given I was expected to come forward and give my life to Jesus.  I didn't fit.  I went away fairly disappointed that the option of knowing me wasn't there before the event.  Perhaps then I could have been one of the family instead of the unknown misfit.  It's strange how we place these expectations out there (our standards) and then are dismayed when this or that person doesn't fit our bias or stereotype.  By the way, none of us really truly fit anywhere except in the presence of Jesus.
     I had a masters level group therapy class at a liberal college.  The teacher was a very out lesbian (she said so) who was also quite the male bashing feminist.  As the class progressed I felt that perhaps I wasn't in the right place being a male conservative Christian.  The question came up dealing with homophobic behavior in group therapy sessions.  After some very prejudicial statements had been made I could no longer keep quiet.  I suggested that these members of the class and the teacher who was encouraging this line of talk look at their hetero phobia.  There was a stunned silence and all that was said was, "Thank you Mr. Hawley for your input."  End of discussion.  It was then that I really understood that just as I didn't fit in some of the other worlds in existence here on earth; that there were many worlds here that didn't fit in mine either.  We were all wrong for each other but right for ourselves.  Quite the dilemma when we consider that Paul said he needed to be all things to all people so that they might know Christ crucified and resurrected.
     It's difficult being a person who doesn't want to fit with others on a regular basis.  Perhaps if the cost of giving up one's self wasn't so high the task may be easier and the medicine a little easier to swallow.  That's not the road that Christ gave us to walk though.  He told us to be different, a light that exposes and intolerant of things not from God.  The early Christians didn't fit and didn't feel the need to fit.  Neither do I.  I fit with Jesus.  I will fit in Heaven.  I fit where and when people let me be me.  I fit with those who love me without preconceived notions of who I'm supposed to be.  I'll try to do the same with those around me...at least today.  Tomorrow I might fit.

In some cultues I'm okay...

     Funny how we see ourselves versus how others see us.  I see myself as a Christian guy who struggles along with the rest of humanity.  Others see me as a hypocrite or a wise person that has passed or is passing through their lives.  Sometimes others see me for my humor and sarcasm.  I've been seen as abrasive but truthful as well as a smooth liar.  Regardless, most characterizations of me have been true at one time or another in my 62 years of living.  Today I try to be at peace with most of mankind.  Today I try to understand so I can be understood as well.  Today I try to live as I should knowing I won't be able to go through a day without a failure point.  Where is this culture where I am okay?  It's the Christian culture.  There is no other place where I can be simultaneously loved and hated at the same time.  There is no other place where I can face the love, acceptance and approval of my fellow believers and the rejection of those same people.  I, apparently, was made for this culture. 
     I'm reminded of the prophet Jeremiah and his calling to service to the Lord.  God told young Jeremiah to never take a wife, have a family or possess anything worth anything because his life would be one of misery and prophesying doom and captivity.  Jeremiah must have thought "What have I gotten myself into?" and even considered saying, "No thanks, I can be hated and an outcast without this added wood on the fire."  But he didn't.  He took the mantel the Lord had offered (because God never forces us to do anything) and did just as God had said he should do.  He continued this life from his teens until his death late in life.  I imagine there were good days even as there were bad days.  He saw a nation that left Egypt at 4.2 million (approximated) dwindle to the 80,000 that were taken to captivity when they were finally defeated.  Yet, he kept telling the disobedient people if they turned to God they would be returned to their land.  Even though Jeremiah was contrary to what the people wanted he was okay in that culture. 
     Jesus had his 12 disciples who "belonged" with him but were only an entity unto themselves when they were first called.  There were none who were perfect who were selected to be with Jesus.  One would be a traitor and one would deny Jesus 3 times.  I've been both.  Yet, in that day and culture all 12 fit and were okay.  Each served their purpose.  Though at times it looked like they were nothing but failures.  I've been that too.  Called to be disciples was an up and down business where they cried out that their boat was sinking and fell asleep praying.  I've never found a canoe that didn't tip over and have nodded off in prayer more than a few times.  They not only saw miracles but also lived doing them in Jesus' name.  Wow!  I've been there as well.  Not anywhere near the miracles that they saw or performed.  Not anywhere near falling asleep while Jesus, the Son of God, was praying for them!  So, I belong with and am okay in this culture as well.
     Mostly I belong with and to those who have come alongside of me or allowed me to come alongside them in this daily walk.  My acquaintances range from the very rich to the very poor; from the very smart to the very...well very unsmart.  Those within my circle tend to fail daily.  The "realness" of the humanity of those around me is evident and exercised every day.  Being free to succeed and screw up in the same day is wild in any one's thoughts.  Within this Christian culture I am truly free and okay to be whom God has created me to be.  Within this group of believers my humanity can hang out and be okay even if it's in need of adjustment.  Where are you okay?

A second cup of coffee...

     I don't remember anywhere in the Bible that Jesus went out to be alone to pray in the early morning.  Hence no mention of coffee!  That's not to say that he didn't go out early to pray.  I would imagine that in today's setting, Jesus would have a double shot mocha as he did his morning prayers.  I know that I need two cups of coffee.  One before I do anything and the other just before I write this blog.  I drink my coffee black and strong.  The stronger the better.  I'm one of "those people" who can drink a pot of coffee before bed and still sleep soundly.  In the mornings coffee is essential to any kind of functioning.  At least for me...  To me "decaffeinated" is just another word for "why bother."  Coffee serves several purposes in the life of everyone who partakes.  Coffee isn't just for adults either.  Age, sex, religion, and whatever are all covered. Coffee is that important.  Living in the Pacific Northwest (Washington) where there are coffee places about every block to block and a half echo's the importance of coffee.  How does this relate to my and your Christian walk?  That is the question.  Please note that there are no churches that I know of that don't have coffee machines in their kitchens.  Even the Seventh Day Adventists drink Barley coffee. 
     Within the context of a Christian life there is no mandate that you have to drink coffee.  I cannot support that it is a mandate with Scripture.  Nor can I find any mention that coffee shouldn't be up there on the drink ladder.  Kind of like marijuana.  There is no prohibition of marijuana like there is no encouragement to use marijuana.  Again, there are no mandates for marriage licenses in the Bible but there is no prohibition against marriage licenses.  What we do find in the Bible is the direction of Paul stating "all things in moderation."  Two cups of morning coffee are okay.  Well, truth be told my cups are 2 cups each.  So I have 4 cups of morning coffee.  That's still okay.  If I use the coffee as an excuse to not live out my Christian life, I have a problem.  "We are going to be late for church because I have to have my coffee first."  Hmm...  Anytime we put anything first before Jesus we have a priority problem.  Does our focus, use and demand for coffee overwhelm those we are trying to live a Christian life before?  Just what does our relationship with anything other than Jesus tell the world around us about us? 
     I'm not so fixated that I need to select a particular kind of roast and whole bean for me to grind at home for my coffee.  Nor do I have to go to a coffee stand because of the quality of their drinks.  Folgers is on my counter and that's just fine with me.  I've even been known to use store brands before!  How does this apply to our lives?  Is it enough to see a local high school baseball game when we can go see the Mariners (substitute your favorite team)?  Is it enough to watch Pop Warner football and not turn on the Seahawks (again substitute your favorite team) or even miss church for them?  Can we be satisfied with local high school soccer and not need the fix of the Sounders FC (substitute...)?  Coffee, like everything in our lives, show our priority and our choices of things of this world.  Can I live without coffee?  Yes, after the headaches go away.
     When we consider the importance of things, events and people in our lives; do we consider whether or not they are important to our spiritual well being?  Yes, having coffee with a friend whom you want to share Jesus with is okay.  No, coffee is not a precursor to sharing Jesus with a friend.  We don't even need to have coffee in the church (gasp!) in order to meet with God.  Yet, there is no harm and no foul if we do.  What I've tried to say today is that we have a lot of areas in our lives that may or may not be lifting up Jesus.  The action and not the act is where our need to examine motive lies.  I think I'll have another cup of coffee...black.

Good advice for everyday of our life.

     Max Ehrmann


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

When forgiveness doesn't come...

     Sometimes, despite all that we think, do and say, forgiveness doesn't seem to be there from God, others and from ourselves.  Why is that?  What is it about forgiveness that makes the transition to forgiven possible?  Toby Mack has a song titled "Start Somewhere" that expounds upon this problem we all have.  Examining ourselves and allowing the Holy Spirit to examine us is key to the process.  Without insight and openness there is little need for us to even approach those issues in our lives that have given or continue to give us problems.  There is a procession of thought and action that lead to forgiveness.  Keep in mind that forgiveness is not necessarily forgetness.  My computer doesn't like that word but it's accurate so I will keep it.  The procession begins with that feeling that something isn't right.  Something is out of place, disturbing and weighing on our hearts, minds and souls.  We don't like it.  We are uncomfortable.  Maybe a bit depressed and feeling distant or off track  Maybe all of these at once.  When something isn't right people do one of two things.  They either take action or they choose to avoid.  Which you and I choose make all the difference in how we live.  While many seek healing and wholeness; those who avoid choose to relive yesterday again and again. 
     Just because we are Christian we don't necessarily forgive or seek to forgive.  Conversely, we don't necessarily accept reconciliation or offer it.  There are lots of steps between the two extremes.  The Bible tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven.  I fail at that.  I've failed at that in the past and I'll fail at forgiving in the future.  Why?  Because I'm a fallen creature who lets his fallen nature run parts of his life.  While there is the drive on the Christian's part to forgive fellow Christians, we don't exercise the same standard for the rest of humanity.  The attitude is that they are somehow less than and not deserving what we offer our Christian brothers and sisters is prevalent within and without the walls of the church.  Pretending we have "arrived" we   fail to do that act for others which we all to gladly receive from Christ...forgiveness.  Yet, the hypocrisy continues to consume the Christian and the Christian church.  Why can't we realize that we are all sinners in need of the forgiveness of Christ for being selfish and self absorbed?
     I feel that part of the reason that I have problems with both giving and receiving forgiveness is that I'm afraid of what will happen if that were to actually happen.  Maybe you feel that way too?  The unknown tends to impede our growth in any and every area of life.  People fear this or that and then use that fear as an excuse to not forgive and to not receive forgiveness.  Forgiveness is an outgrowth of love.  Love casts out fear.  Love is the greatest of gifts.  Love is what we are to show others in every area and walk of life.  That means that we need to receive love in order to give it away.  If we don't have love than the love of God does not reside in us.  If we don't have love than we have rejected God even if we profess faith in Christ.  The last caveat is looking at the evidence of when forgiveness has moved through us and those around us.  Peace is restored.  The conscious is cleared but not forgetting.  As we go through the Christian life we need to so attune ourselves to receiving and giving forgiveness that we no longer become aware of wrongs or their devastation.  William James said, "We may have a God in heaven who forgives us our sins.  Mankind does not."  Don't be like that.  Have peace with God and man.
    

Lessons for life sometimes suck

    Wouldn't it be nice if everything and everyone we encountered in our lives were easy to engage and would be beneficial for us without any pain and suffering?  Personally, I grew up in the school of hard knocks and still attend sporadically.  Learning things the hard way has always been the hallmark of events and people in my life.  If there was an easy way I never seemed to find it and it certainly avoided contact with me.  In fact, I've met Murphy and been attached with him from my earliest memories!  You gotta love that man!  Lately patience has been rearing it's ugly head once again.  It seems that I still lack some and so am encountering situations where patience is needed but I don't seem to have any.  Have you ever felt that way?  Mostly I'm impatient with myself.  I find that I make excuses to accomplish tasks, make excuses why this or that hasn't happened and avoid responsibility for my own lack of initiative.  I'm sure that some reading this can relate.
     It's been said that "if you need an excuse that any excuse will do."  When we make excuses we are not doing service to ourselves, others or God.  Yet, it's a first nature in all of us stemming from the wonderful day in the garden when our parents began to make excuses.  Satan had fed them the line but they utilized it because of their want and not their need.  The more distant we are from the person or situation, the easier it is to make an excuse why we won't don't or can't do this or that.  If we are in the same room face to face the excuse is not usually validated by the other person.  If I'm in the garage and someone is outside, the distance can be covered by "I'm busy." On a phone call?  There is no way whether or not they can really know if we are making an excuse or just lying.  Texting...even more distance created.  Miles between where you and they are?  Better yet.  The problem of distance affects the need and desire for intimacy.  The further or more distant we are from someone, the easier it is to avoid, excuse or just ignore.
     Here's the problem.  Though we may have the ability to create distance from our fellow mankind and avoid the lessons we are to learn through excuses; we cannot do the same with God.  The Bible tells us that he walks with us, talks with us and will never leave nor forsake us.  The Holy Spirit resides within believers and Jesus direction in our lives convict us should we get off the track of being Jesus to the world.  No matter how much I avoid and make excuses there is no place I can go that takes me out of the intimacy circle that is found within the heart of God.  Try as I might to avoid the lessons of life, there is continual love, acceptance and approval from God EVEN when I fail.  So, I am left with the choice.  I can choose to learn the hard way by making choices on my wisdom or I can make choices on His wisdom.  The choices I make on my wisdom are the ones that end up "less than" and suck.  The choices I make with God's wisdom will meet all my needs and even some wants as he desires to give me the desires of my heart.  
     Choices...

The point is...

     Mediocre is not an acceptable attribute of a Christian.  We don't settle for mediocre in others and they shouldn't settle for mediocre from us.  Yet, that's what pretty much all of us do day in and day out.  We deliver mediocre.  Whether it's the time with God, family, friends or work; we don't or won't go outside of our comfort zone.  We refuse to make a "real" commitment that means focus on something other than our own needs and wants.  "If we know what is right to do and we don't do it we sin." James 4:17.  With our world in a mess (it's not going to get better), our relationships failing, and dedication to anything on the decline, why give up?  Why do we become so insensitive and so disconnected that we no longer have passion?  We no longer care...at least to the point where many of us don't make a difference.  I've been and sometimes am one of "them".  I apologize.  I'm one of "us".  That doesn't excuse me and certainly doesn't excuse anyone.
     Mediocrity is a fatal disease that has infected all of mankind. I wish it weren't so but wish in one hand and want in the other doesn't change the fact of the matter.  Where does this mediocrity come from?  It's not something you buy at a coffee shack along with your morning mocha.  Nor is it something you get online after seeing an ad during half-time of the football game.  We don't find mediocrity on the shelf at the store or pick up a pack of mediocrity at the local AM/PM.  We get mediocrity from the strangest of places.  Our mediocrity comes from our grandparents and their parents.  We get it from our mom, dad, siblings and neighbors.  We get mediocrity from our schools and from our sports teams  Mediocrity is everywhere and infecting every part of our every day.  So, you may ask, what's wrong with mediocrity.  Especially if everyone is "doing it."
     Jesus tells the parable of the manager who needed to go to a conference in Toledo for a couple of months.  He calls in his three top people and hands them 3 envelopes with $10,000 cash in each of them.  He tells them that this is a test of their managerial ability.  They are to invest and return the profit on their investment upon his return.  The first one returns $30,000 and is rewarded with the boss giving him the $20,000 difference.  The second one returns $20,000 and is rewarded with the boss giving him the difference of $10,000.  The third one returns the $10,000 saying he was fearful and didn't do anything BUT did return the $10,000 to the boss.  The boss takes the money back and fires the manager for NOT DOING ANYTHING BECAUSE OF FEAR.  I'm trying to make a point here.
     Jesus also tells a parable of a car salesman who discovered that there was a used car missing from his car lot.  The salesman leaves the locked cars in the lot and goes searching for the stray.  When he finds the stray car he is overjoyed and returns the car to the lot.  He calls his boss and they meet at the local pizza place over a beer to celebrate the return of the wayward car.  His boss asks him why he closed early to go look for a "car"?  The man says he did so that he could keep anything from happening to the car.  He valued the car and knew his boss would as well.  The boss is impressed and buys the pizza.  The salesman practiced DUE DILIGENCE in leaving the many to find the one.  I'm trying to make a point here.  Fear keeps us from doing that which we know we are to be doing.  Today make a different choice than fear.

Going to the Senior Center

     Most people don't like going to the Senior Center.  Mostly because they fear growing old and seeing themselves there.  I've been to many Senior Centers and there are some general qualities that exist in each one.  First, there are many people who have been there for a long time and don't have anyone visiting them.  Second, there is "that" smell in the building.  You can smell it even before you open the door.  Third, there are caring and uncaring staff their either because they love what they do or they need the money.  Fourth, the food is all over-cooked.  Fifth, many are mentally ill or have terminal diseases.  That's enough to make most of us second guess our desire to visit the Senior Center or to bring our children there.  Most people in the early Christian years thought that way about lepers.  Yet, Jesus not only visited with them; he also healed them.  Jesus actually touched the unclean.  What does that say about you and I? 
     My first experience in a Senior Center was while I was a pastor in Minnesota.  I had "rotation" to go preach on a Sunday afternoon.  So I went and preached...and failed miserably to connect with much less deliver words of encouragement.  What had I done wrong?  Paul exhorts us to be all things to all people.  Sounds simple until we actually try to do so.  I went to some pastor friends and asked them for advice.  One friend said, "Talk with them like you would your grandparents."  So, I went back my next rotation and described how my grandmother went about making donuts on her wood burning stove.  There was a silence in the room I couldn't believe coupled with people nodding their heads and fixed eyes on me.  People everywhere, but especially the elderly, want to know three things.  They want to know that they are important.  They want to know that they are going to Heaven.  Finally, they want to know that their memories are important. 
     We aren't all that different.  From the earliest of Biblical times three elements have been present as desires in the hearts of mankind.  The first is that we want to be loved.  Not "liked", "loved."  The second is that we want to be accepted as we are.  Not as we were and certainly not as we should be.  The third is that we want to be approved in the most generous of senses.  Love, Acceptance and Approval.  It's what we need to and desire to give to our children, our spouses, our parents and families, and others in our lives.  Our biggest challenge and quandary is how do we give love, acceptance and approval to ourselves without sounding all puffed up?!  People, who aren't narcissistic, are able to give fairly well to others.  So why the difficulty of giving to ourselves?  I have several suggestions.  None of them do we like.  First we're told to be humble (often taken to mean thinking lowly of ourselves).  Not that humility is bad; for it isn't.  Second, we're told that we don't deserve to be loved, accepted and approved.  Thirdly, we are reminded every time we turn around what dirty rotten awful sinners we are.  How could we possibly love, accept and approve of ourselves...rhetorical question.
     The concept of caring for others is couched in the understanding that we can only give to others what we ourselves have received for ourselves.  So, if you loath yourself the best you can do is to loath others as they remind you, just by their presence, of just how  loathable you and I are.  Should we like ourselves and not like ourselves; then we put that onto others as well.  This allows us to pick and choose what we like and don't like about ourselves and others.  Finally, if we choose to accept the FACT that God loves us (totally, completely) and then believe that we are lovable, we choose to love ourselves.  Loving ourselves enables us to give that which we have, love, to others.  The more we believe and bring to reality the love of God in our lives, the more we are able to pass it on.  We can never give anyone that which we do not have.  Next time you go to the Senior Center or even just drive by one, think of what you have to give.  Perhaps go in and give that which you have.  Wouldn't that be radical.  Next, go home and give to your spouse, children, friends and co-workers and neighbors that which you have in abundance.  Here is the caveat: try to out give God with your love, acceptance and approval you have received from Him.

Where do they come from?!

     I've been wondering lately where all the weird people come from.  Then I say, "Oh yeah, I'm one of them!"  "Where do you live?" "Left field!" Actually it should be "right field" as I'm one of those conservatives!  How dare I?  It's the weird people that seem to garner all the attention despite their not wanting it.  We find ourselves in quandaries of our own making and wonder why all the attention is suddenly put on us.  My past is very colorful in both positive and negative ways.  Some people may lean on the more "negative ways" while others might weigh in on the "positive ways." It doesn't matter in the end as I'm who I am and without some intervention will find myself in both of those boxes from time to time.  Sometimes people need me to be the weird guy.  That's okay too.  But where did I come from? 
     Well, I was born really little a long time ago in a Railroad Hospital in Glendive, Montana.  On the way home from the hospital (my oldest sister tells me) my dad went around a curve with the truck and my mom (holding me) were thrown out of the truck.  We were checked out  but okay.  Not long after that my oldest sister was walking me in a carriage in town when a car came out of the alley and struck the baby carriage I was riding in.  Then I fell out of the back of the pickup in Bismarck, North Dakota when my dad took off from a stop sign.  Add to that my walking behind a swing set in our country school (yes, I'm that old) and being struck in the head by the swing.  You could say that "things" happen to me.  It still happens today!  I come from that land of "What's going to happen to Steve now?"  It's a strange land but I know it well and am not surprised when something happens outside of the spectrum everyone else seems to live within.
     My upbringing wasn't all wonderful.  I didn't live with the Walton's (though even  John Boy had his problems.)  The Cleaver's were so wonderful and "The Beaver" always learned a valuable lesson within 30 minutes.  If anyone has knowledge of a mother/wife like June or a husband/father like Ward, let me know.  I've not been able to find them anywhere I've been.  I had a lady tell me one day that her parents and growing up were perfect.  Her parents never argued or fought, never yelled at the kids, no one disobeyed and everything was peachy keen all the time.  She was at that time in her late 30's and still believed everything was wonderful.  Denial is a funny animal.  No one is perfect (at least according to the Bible) though some may think they are or someone they know are perfect.  No one I know thinks I'm perfect and would probably snort milk out of their noses if you asked them!
     When I look at the 12 Disciples of Jesus there is not one perfect man.  Jesus did not select perfect because he knew no one was perfect.  All mankind had fallen short of the glory of God.  All had sinned and gone astray.  There was no one in all the land that was righteous.  None.  Why should we care where people come from?  Jesus didn't.  We shouldn't either.  Yes, I was a poor farm boy.  Yes, I've had my share of problems both brought upon myself as well as inflicted on me.  What do people see when they look at me?  At you?  What do you see?  Is all we see is where people come from?  If that's true then we missed the point.  Jesus chose the 12 knowing their past.  HOWEVER, he chose them for who and what they would be in the future.  It's the same with you and I.  He knows our past better than we know our past.  He doesn't care about our past.  Why?  Because it's in the past.  He seeks us out for where we are going and not from where we came. 
     Next time you come in contact with someone on any level; ask yourself "Where are they going?"  What is the mission God has them on?  Even the non-believer is going somewhere.  Perhaps you're to go along?  I don't know.  But I do know that none of my past determines where God can take me.  AND he will never take me anywhere that he cannot keep me.  Sounds like a great travel agent.  What does it cost me?  What does it cost you?  The cost is we can never look back and need to always look forward.  Let people wonder where you came from but be drawn to where you are going.

Christian addicts

      Yes, there are Christian addicts.  Addictions of all kinds and manners.  I'm one and you are too.  You, like me, don't advertise our addictions.  We don't talk about them because of shame and fear.  We ask for transparency from others but cannot give it for ourselves.  How silly!  God already knows all about me and has so for at least 62 years!  Addictions seem to appear all of a sudden but really are like frogs.  Put a in a pan of cold water and turn on the heat.  The frog will acclimate to the heat until they cook.  Addictions are like that.  One day, one situation, one disaster and suddenly it's upon us.  The addiction that we didn't see coming suddenly has control of our lives.  Here are some of them:  food, sex, drugs, smoking, alcohol, shopping, avoidance, condemnation, gossip, judging, anger, and a host of others.  We can find ourselves enslaved to any of a number of addictions should we open our eyes and heart to the Holy Spirit.  Once exposed we may even admit that we are addicted.  Then we have the choice.  Do we address the addiction?  Do we expose the addiction?  Do we continue the addiction?  Do we risk relationships by telling others? 
     Here are some of my addictions:  food (I emotionally eat), aggressive driving (I like to get where I'm going...now!), impatience (other people's or my own), hard work (all the time), intolerance (of many different things), and spending money (yep, me too!).  There are others but this is a good start.  How about you?  Do you have any of these going on in your life?  I have some positive addictions as well.  I'm addicted to sharing the Gospel.  I'm addicted to listening to people and people watching.  I'm addicted to confronting errors in others interpretation of the Bible.  I'm addicted to being a dad, and friend and mentor.  I'm addicted to CraigsList both receiving and giving.  I'm addicted to giving away what I don't need to those who do need.  I'm addicted to a positive opinion and being supportive of people regardless of their circumstances. I'm addicted to grace and will take as much as I can embrace every day.
     You see, addictions are varied and across the spectrum from good to bad.  Addictions are productive and destructive.  As we engage life, we are compelled to face ALL of life and not just what we want.  You and I can spend our time in negativity or positivity.  It's our addiction.   God calls us to be addicted in our Christian life.  He tells us that we absolutely have to engage in two addictions.  The first is to love Him with all our heart soul and mind.  The second is to love others as we love ourselves.  IF we love Him it means we have received from Him that which we do not deserve...grace and love.  IF we love others as we have loved ourselves (see previous sentence) then we love people with God's love as we have no love of our own. Here is he kicker.  Here is the crutch of the issue.  Here is the REAL addiction each of us is to have, exercise and produce from.  We are to be addicted to giving away the love of God that has been given so freely to us.  I'm a Christian addict who seems to fail daily.  Yet, God finds a way to use my addiction to his love in a positive way.  He truly can bring good from anything.  Christian addict...what a concept!

Windy and rainy in Washington! Who would have guessed?

     Okay, it's the season where other states say that we don't tan we rust, that our toes have webbing, that we don't use umbrella's because...and the list goes on.  The truth is we are having some rain and that brings about some interesting event.  First, our seasoned Washington drivers seem to have forgotten how to drive in the rain?!  Go figure!  Yesterday on I5 I say no less than 4 accidents where rear ending another car seemed to be the thing to do.  Second, people can't seem to cope with the idea of getting wet.  So there are sicknesses, sick kids and people sick of work that stay home or worse; go shopping.  When you need an excuse any excuse will do.  We need the rain and so do all the other states. You have heard the saying, "When it rains, it pours."  It's really true in Washington.  It seems like the sky just falls!  Maybe that explains the accidents. 
     Sometimes the Christian finds themselves in the season where whiplash takes place.  Somewhat like the change of weather.  You are going along thinking life is good, everyone in your life is happy and your future looks grand.  When all of a sudden out of nowhere; BAM!  Your wife says she has found someone new.  Your boss says the company has to downsize and you have to go.  The school calls to tell you your child has been found with marijuana in their possession.  On the way home you get a ticket for going the same speed as everyone else.  Finally, home, you put your key in the door and the lock has been changed by the wife who has found someone new.  By the way, your doctor called and said your lab results don't look good and you need to go in ASAP.  So, you walk away, go to the local fast food joint and get a strawberry shake.  You go to call a Christian friend as it's the right thing to do and their phone goes to voicemail.  The next two calls do the same thing.  Really feeling alone now, what do you do?
     I don't think anyone can or does all or even any of these events in a single day.  I do know that these things have happened and just like the sudden rains we are thrust into a do or die situation.  It's not what you have experienced that counts.  It's how you have prepared for the experience that counts at times like these.  If you haven't driven in pouring rain then don't leave the house.  If you haven't been in rush hour traffic with 100,000 others who act like they have never driven in the rain; get off the freeway.  You have probably heard it a thousand times that if you don't plan to succeed you are sure to fail.  Or something like that.  Truth is, it's when things go wrong that we need our basic rock to stand on.  Knowing we can pray is great.  Knowing that God answers prayers is better.  We know that He never puts anything on us that we cannot bear up under without giving us a way out.  Knowing that he has had a plan in place for eternity for your particular situation that moment on that day is priceless.  Knowing that God will never leave you nor forsake you even when others do is a welcome piece of knowledge.  Knowing that you are never alone is essential for any one's survival.
     What we do when no one is looking shows the faith we have and what that faith can do.  Our preparation for the unknown is faith in God, association with people who believe likewise and having a connection in the church.  So, renew your faith, go to church, hang out with Christians and live a life believing God has your back.  He does.

The cruise ship of life

     Ever been on a cruise?  I have.  Enjoyed the time immensely.  Yet, being out in the water with no land in sight was a bit unnerving.  I don't know how long I could tread water but knew that I could probably sink with no problem!  The cruise was a chance in a lifetime to visit places outside of my normal day to day living.  Having read all the warnings about this and that, making sure that I could come and go from the ship and keeping my shots up to date, I decided to enjoy the cruise and put my cares and worries aside.  I'm a people watcher and what a place to watch!  You could tell those who were nervous as they walked onto the ship.  There were those who arrived in party mode and we knew where they would be spending their time.  The curious, the excited and those on their honeymoon all came aboard.  With 4000 passengers on board we launched into the vast sea.  I was on deck when we shoved off and then again that night.  Looking out over the water (endless) and seeing the stars (all of them) was amazing.  God's creation spread out before me to just enjoy!
     Noah had been in the business of doing what God told him to do.  He was living on dry land and was building a cruise ship for animals and his family.  I remember in my earlier years being told that my desire to take a cruise was nonsense.  "That's for rich people."  Yet, here I was.  Noah was castigated by those living around him.  I'm sure the constant construction and blocked view had his neighbors in a fit.  This building took a long time.  Yet, Noah pushed on because the Lord was with him.  I can't imagine how much wood was piled up in his driveway.  He didn't have cranes, air guns and the like.  His sawing of each piece of lumber was his daily labor.  The Bible doesn't say he had any help but I'm guessing he had his sons, his wife and their wives.  Yet, this ship was huge!  Eventually the neighbors and the community had the novelty wear off and left him alone.  Some, a few, still heckled him and the project.  Noah did what God told him to do.
     We are all on cruise ships.  It's called life.  Some enter the ship each day with a renewed sense of excitement.  Some enter the ship each day with a renewed sense of dread.  Of course there are those on the spectrum anywhere in-between the two.  Today you will have entered the cruise ship of your life.  Will it be a fun day?  Will it be an incredible day of discovery of yourself, God and your world?  Will the day result in growth or will you come home the same way you left?  It's up to you.  You are in charge of your cruise ship of life.  You determine what it looks like in spite of what people say.  There may be ridicule of your faith, your job, your family, your church and many other areas.  Will you let the ridicule come aboard your ship?  Or will you keep a check on whom you let into you cruise ship?  You are in charge until you relinquish that control to God.  Keep your cruise in his hands and enjoy the trip.  The moon and stars were incredible!

Why do Christians want to make other Christians feel guilty?

     Some people live within the "blame game" entering into others lives with the main intent of having to feel better about themselves.  The elements of the blame game have been around since the Garden.  We screw up and either we shift blame to someone else or we expose someone as somehow worse than ourselves. We all have our faults and insecurities.  To have someone utilize them in ways that leave the already wounded bleeding is wrong.  It's a sin.  Yet, we see it all the time.  When we read about some scandal regarding a pastor, politician, policeman or other profession (cute use of "p") we are cast into their private life gone public.  There seems to be no end of fodder for those who need the blame game to promote themselves as better.  For these reasons I declare right now that I am not better than anyone else.  In fact, like Paul, I admit that I am the greatest of sinners.  There are so many sins in my past (only mankind remembers) that you could write several books about them.  However, God has forgiven me.  Make public whatever you will.  You cannot hurt my life more than I have already done on my own.  Now, what if everyone took that stance?  What is you and everyone else would not have secrets that could be exposed?  Would any power remain in the past?  Likewise, when someone tries to play the blame game with you there would be no power, no satisfaction for that person.  Quite the opposite.  They would be exposed. 
     The Bible tells us that the devil goes around the earth trying to destroy everyone and everything that opposes his agenda.  We know this to be true.  Instead of asking why God doesn't protect us from these lies; why don't we live an open life where exposure doesn't have any power?  "Yes, I am a sinner." has the ability to disarm any foe.  We are somehow expected to defend our past.  Why?  If we are living as forgiven then there is nothing to defend.  So when someone needs a patsy to blame for anything related to the past, they can't pick you.  When blaming exists within a Christian context the exercise of blaming isn't a sin against me.  It's a sin against God.  That's why the devil is confined to earth.  He sinned against God and was thrown to earth along with a lot of others following his lead.  When we are living with or around other people with the tendency to blame others we can know that their action is not from God.  Nor is their heart for God. 
     Those playing the blame game have a problem with accountability.  They have a problem with honesty.  They have a problem with accepting the love of God.  Again, I know that this to be true because I've lived in that space many times.  I'm trying to do better here later in my life.  Recognizing the damage blaming does to others and the family of God is a first step in leaving that life style.  If we don't recognize what we are doing is wrong we will continue to see no need to stop that behavior. When I was in 4th grade we were correcting each others math homework.  I didn't like that the person's paper I was correcting was perfect.  I knew mine wasn't.  So, I changed an answer on their paper.  I was challenged and exposed as having done this.  Never did it again.  My motive was to bring this person down to my level instead of acknowledging where I was.  I don't do math and still loath the subject.  I hurt that person by doing what I did.  I hurt myself more by throwing any integrity I had away with my actions.  Accountability requires us to constantly examine ourselves and to hold ourselves up not before our fellowman but before God.  He knows everything about us anyway.  The key to being someone who doesn't blame and looks for accountability is to allow the Holy Spirit to constantly examine ourselves and then allow the work to be done within us so that we will be found in favor of God instead of man.  Christians do not want other Christians to feel guilty.  They are consumed by their own sanctification that there is no room for the rabbit trail.

Just one of those things that happen to me...

     Those who know me know that I'm accident prone, inattentive, and that sometimes I don't listen.  There are a few more that I could add but let's just say that Murphy is my best friend.  Maybe you have someone like me in your life.  Maybe they cause carnage wherever they go as well.  So many times I have tried to explain who I am and why I am the way that I am that I am discouraged.  Having finally come to a relatively level place in my life (look out) I wanted to share some observations that on the surface have nothing to do with each other.  In reality they are all connected and meant to teach not only me but those around me about life.  It's not that I have the corner on the market of knowledge of life.  I don't.  You don't have the market cornered either.  The Bible says that God knew everything I would think, do, say for my entire earthly life before I was conceived.  He must be laughing now!  He even included the part that despite my earthly life he would always love me.  That's the good part.  He sent Jesus to clinch the deal.  That's the great part!
     Anne was the nurse in attendance at Cardiac Rehabilitation this morning. (Hence, why I'm late getting this written.)  I hadn't seen Anne for some time as she had been on a different assignment.  She was the nurse that took the first laps with me around the place when I first arrived a month after open heart surgery.  I remember.  To say that I was in terrible shape would have been an understatement.  As she took me around that small room she said that I was important.  She went on to say God had a reason for my being there.  Wow!  It took me several visits before I began to see there was a decision I needed to make.  Did I want to live or did I want to die.  Paul said that to die would mean being in the presence of Jesus.  That's not bad.  He also said he lived so that he could finish the race set before him.  Paul wasn't a lot of help this morning.  What was a help was that this was to be MY decision just like it was for Paul.  I decided to live.  It was a good move.  I threw myself into my therapy and was rewarded with loss of weight, strength I hadn't had for a long time and the challenge that God wasn't finished with me yet.
     One day I was on the Internet and read about a young lady on the east coast promoting a program for a specific group of the population.  The Semi-colon Project has sprung up from a small starting point.  The semi-colon comes from the English language in a time when writers didn't want to end a sentence because there was more to be said on the subject.  The English knew what they were doing and the use of the semi-colon stuck.  This young lady had introduced the same thought for those of us who have survived attempted suicide.  The semi-colon is a metaphor for our lives.  Apparently, unknown to us, there was more to be said about our story.  There was more to be lived, experienced and shared.  The challenge was to go and LIVE your life.  For the traumatized, wounded and hopeless this is a big challenge.  Living with daily pain both emotional and physical seems insurmountable.  To suffer silently was even worse.  Feelings that others didn't know how you felt or even believed you confronted the challenge daily.   If you see a semi-colon on a piece of clothing, tattooed on some one's wrist, or in an article; understand that the story hasn't been completely told.
     I went back to the fire station from which the fireman and paramedics came to save my life on 2/18/15 at 1:30 PM.  When I walked into the fire station I met their commander and explained why I was there.  I was there to share what had transpired because they were there that day and that hour.  I talked with all the paramedics and fireman there that day.  I told them that I too had been in their shoes many times as a police officer and worked side by side with them.  Only once or twice to hear what good I had done.  I wanted them to know that they were forever part of my story and that they had blessed me beyond measure.  When I was done I went around and looked them in the eyes and shook their hands.  They are in my thoughts and prayers daily.  Every time I hear a siren I know they are going somewhere, possibly in harms way, to do what they do.  They are there to insert the semi-colon into someone else's life.  They are the Anne who walk the laps with those whom they come in contact with. 
     This is my life.  Horrendous things have taken place in my life from my earliest memory.  All for a reason.  I've experienced more pain and sorrow than most people I know and yet I know many who have had it way worse than I.  I've resigned myself to the fact that my life is not normal.  My life is an anomaly set in place by a loving God who wants me to bring that first walk around the room to someone else.  That's my place right now.  It's just one of those things that happens to me...  I'll get used to it one day.  In the meantime, I'm happy to be who I am where I am. 

Time is relevant to the issue.

     They say that time heals all wounds.  That's not true.  Time does give us time to heal.  There needs to be the desire to heal and be able to move forward.  The greater the hurt, the greater the time and effort for healing.  I know some of you will say "Oh, let the Lord have it and be done with it."  That's a lie too.  Yes, we should give up all things in our lives to the Lord.  However, if we don't have a right heart the prayers won't be answered.  At least that's what the Bible says. See James if you want to check on me.  Quite a "to the point" book of the Bible.  Then, of course, is the issue of the other person/persons and whether they are amiable to be part of healing.  You see, time is not the only element in the process.  The greater the time between the injury and the healing, the less the issue seems so important.  We tend to look at injuries as huge when they occur but then over time the hugeness seems to melt away.  Sometimes we find ourselves saying, "What was it that occurred in the first place?  Now isn't that stupid of me." 
     Being at peace is a timely process.  Jesus promises to give us His peace.  However, (here we go again) we become the problem that doesn't or won't accept His peace!  Sometimes we (Christians are you listening?) like to hold onto the event so that no peace can enter in.  Harboring ill feelings, resentments, grudges, and the like only serve to eliminate no place for peace in our lives.  I know of one church where the argument over the color to paint the downstairs bathroom resulted in a church split with half the congregation building a church a mile down the road.  Both churches are still there.  No healing has taken place.  We know that good things come to those who wait.  How long are we to wait?  That's up to us and how bad we want peace.  Wanting peace takes as much time as much time as necessary and as much time as it takes to give up out "stuff" so that peace has a place to come into our lives.
     The story of the Prodigal Son is one that addresses one additional element that affects time and timeliness of God's healing and blessing.  The story goes that this spoiled brat demanded what he wanted, CPS made the father give him what he wanted and was left with a no contact order in place from now to eternity.  The state provided for the son so that he could be selfish and self centered in all he demanded making him dependent on the state.  FINALLY, the son (the Bible says) came to his senses and said, "What am I to do with this terrible situation I've gotten myself into?"  Someone reminded him that "Duh, you have a rich old man!" and he decided to go home where at 28 years of age he intended to do what he had to in order to have a place to stay and a mom who would do his laundry for him.  Well, that's kinda how the story went.  The issue that gets addressed is remembering where your blessings, answers to problems, forgiveness, peace and many other priceless elements come from.  God.
     Time allows us to remember.  We can remember less of the bad and more of the good as time goes on.  Time allows us to remember.  We can remember Who is the real source of healing, peace and restoration in our lives.  Time allows us to remember.  We remember that God with his open hands is only one step, one choice, one moment away from flooding us with the love of his healing.  Time is relevant to every issue.

A coyote in my back yard.

     Several months ago I saw this rather large coyote in my back yard.  He was running between the trees on the edge of the property.  I was a bit surprised but took it in stride.  Then about 2 months ago I looked out the kitchen window and there at the end of the property was the coyote again.  This time he was laying in the grass about 300 feet from the house staring at me.  He stayed there off and on for a full day.  It was then that I named him Bill (I hope he's a guy!).  Bill has become a sporadic guest and doesn't seem to have much fear.  I'm certain that he  has been around people for some time.  Last night Bill was back and he was talking!  He did his best at howling and yipping and yapping.  It was dark so I couldn't see him.  Hearing him caused me to wonder what he was talking about.  I don't have chickens or any other small animals so he certainly wasn't looking for food.  Unless he eats apples.  Since I don't speak coyote and he doesn't speak English we left it as entertainment.  This morning he is no where to be seen having come for the visit and left like before. 
     Sometimes when I'm reading the Bible I read about this or that person and their travels.  Paul is probably the most well known New Testament traveler.  Paul visited so many areas and began so many churches that it makes my head spin.  In the process Paul was beaten, run out of town, stoned, and ultimately arrested and taken to Rome.  Paul went back to check on churches and individuals and had others do so for him as well.  If Paul was here today he would be very connected on the computer and be video conferencing every waking moment.  Some of my relationships operate in the same way.  We are in and out of communication sometimes for days and sometimes for years.  Regardless, like Paul, we are connected in such a way that when we do get together it's like we never were apart.  David and Jonathan in the Old Testament were this way.  I'm guessing this pattern of being present in the spirit but absent in the flesh came about this way.  I grew up on a farm 12 miles outside of the small town and school that I attended.  Come the end of May every year school would let out and everyone knew that we wouldn't see our classmates (at least most of them) again until September when school started up again.  So friendships would "pause" but the relationships wouldn't. 
     Like Bill, Paul and some of our friends today we struggle to find and hold onto good friends that reflect ourselves, our beliefs and our dreams.  Sometimes our lives change and we go our separate ways even though we do have much in common.  Sometimes we don't have any choice in whether someone stays in our lives or not.  Bill is gone this morning.  He won't be back for a few weeks at least.  He has other people in his territory to be checking on.  So it is with us.  We do this in a positive and negative context every week of our life.  We go to church but forget about church during the week.  We may attend Wednesday evening or be in a home group in between that keeps us anchored in the life of the body of Christ.  We go on vacations, family reunions and sporting events or concerts that take us away from where we are rooted.  BUT...we return.  We may be changed, having made choices in our lives.  Our Christianity may be more relevant, renewed, or revisited.  The importance of our associations may increase or decrease as a result of choices we have made in the interim.  BUT...we return.  The "spirit" of the relationship remains.  The key element that connects us to each other is still there.  Resilient relationships grow and change and morph into what God wants when God's people move to his Holy Spirit.
     Bill will be back. 

What did people do before coffee?

     There is no mention of coffee in the Bible.  Coffee beans seem to have escaped the invention of man until later in our story.  I don't know what I would do without coffee.  Well, actually I do know what would happen.  First, there would be 3-5 days of headaches as I went through withdrawal.  This would be in conjunction with a depressed and agitated mood as well as heightened snapping and sarcasm.  When I was finally free of coffee and it's effects there would remain lethargy and a sense of what's the use.  So, now on my second 2 cup cup of coffee I'm ready to confront the day.  It's not that coffee lends any special insight into what I write.  That's because the insight comes from God (most of the time).  Nor does coffee hold magical powers that allow me to solve the worlds problems.  Coffee is more powerful than that.  Coffee binds friends and family together.  Strangers can talk as long as they have a cup of coffee in front of themselves.  Coffee...ahaaaa...blessed coffee!
     Not even chocolate holds such great sway in our lives.  Activities don't even begin until we have one or two cups and a potty break.  Why would they invent thermos' if they didn't think coffee was important?  See what I mean?  Coffee has established itself as an icon of sorts through which so much of life moves and has it's being.  Let's not even get started on the coffee drinks, coffee cake, and coffee cookies!   Cutting to the chase, coffee is the perfect metaphor of the Christian life.  Those who are truly saved cannot live a day without Christ as their center.  Those who truly know Jesus cannot bear to not be involved with other Christians.  Those who have a saving faith in Christ have something that they can offer to other believers and non-believers alike.  Christ isn't coffee...He's much better.  Can you tell me what Bible study would be complete without Christ?  How about a potluck that Christ hasn't been asked to bless?  Perhaps a hospital visit to a member without the mention of faith and prayer? 
     Gas stations have advertisement stating a free coffee without every fill-up.  Christians have a promise that if you worship Jesus that every day you wake you will be renewed by the Holy Spirit.  Restaurants offer free refills of coffee and there always seems to be more than one pot brewing.  My Christian friends have their problems just like me.  However, they have time to take and refresh my spirit through our fellowship.  In cold weather nothing heats up the insides better than some fresh hot coffee.  Going to work in the non-Christian world is sometimes ugly and challenging.  Being able to text, call or email another Christian lets all of us feel like we are not alone.  There are so many examples of the importance of coffee, tuna casserole, ice cream and bread in our lives that we talk about these things on a regular basis.  And, there are so many events going on in the world that we would be neglecting the message of the Gospel to NOT talk about them with our fellow Christian.  Our ends depends on our beginnings. 
     Today, tomorrow or the day after; when you have your mug of coffee in your hands remember that Christ has you in His hands in the same fashion.  I need to finish my coffee.  See you tomorrow.
Steve

Too many light switches!

     The hallway in my house has 4 light switches for the 30 feet of its length.  That's overkill.  A light switch ever 8 feet or so.  Why are there all these light switches?  Convenience!  That's the only reason they are there.  Most of the time we don't even use the hallway lights.  But, we do have 4 switches to choose from should we desire to do so.  The family room, which is at least quadruple the size of the hallway has one light switch.  The same is true of the living room.  You're probably wondering where I could possibly go on this topic.  The hallway light switches are reminiscent of the many times I have read Scripture and each time a different light/understanding was turned on.  Sometimes it was a realization that I had read the Scripture wrong and a light was turned off.  More often than no God was trying to get me to see the meaning of his Word so that I could bring that light to others.  I became a Christian in October of 1971 and have read and re-read the Bible many times.  I'm still surprised while reading the Bible that a Scripture I've read 50 or more times comes up with new revelations.  The difference each time has to do with God's need in this world through me. 
     I need the different switches flipped in my life as well.  I'm finding that the more I learn, the less I know.  Re-learning lessons in life have been like switching lights on and off any number of times.  The, of course, from time to time the light bulb burns out and there is the need to change the bulb with a better bulb that will last longer.  No, I'm not talking about changing my faith.  Neither am I implying that that which I believed was wrong.  It's just that sometimes we need to take a look at the whole in order to see how one change can make a big difference.  It's like this, when I was a police officer I issued tickets.  Hopefully to none of my readers!  There is a big difference between the letter and the spirit of the law.  The letter of the law is engulfed in legalism while the spirit of the law is more along with the flow of life as God intended.  Where the letter of the law demands a ticket be issues, the spirit of the law may just give a warning or forgive the act.  Many people (myself included) entered into police work with the letter of the law governing our choices and our actions.  As time moved on different lights were turned on and others turned off until I reached that place where I understood the spirit of the law.
     The same could be true of my spiritual life.  When I first believed my knowledge, wisdom an experience was limited (like it was in my various careers) and showed in my application of the Biblical truths.  My sensitivity to the spirit was  often lacking and my witness showed.  As time went by that sensitivity to the spirit increased and the letter of the law decreased and grace increased more and more.  As I grow older the need for examining my life has increased while the need to examine others lives has decreased.  It's not that my desire to love God and others has decreased.  Rather, the desire to love God has increased as well as my desire to love others.  Grace instead of the law has been forefront in my life for years.  Yet there are times when the letter of the law takes over.  Every Christian has his or her limit.  For instance, I will not renounce my faith in Jesus.  That's a concrete line I haven't and won't cross.  Yet there have been times I have not been true to my faith in Jesus.  My desire sometimes isn't reflected in my actions.  Yet the desire remains. 
     While the time has gone quickly, I, now at 62, am a different man than when God first changed me.  I'm not perfect nor am I even close.  Like knowledge, the more of life I have experienced the less of life I know. And so, one light bulb gets turned on while another gets changed.  There are many times when it seemed as if all my light bulbs were turned off.  Sometimes that was true ad there was no light shining out of me for the world to see.  Ultimately I began to see that the turning on and off of the light bulbs was really up to me and my choice.  Sometimes my desire to sin turned off the light bulbs.  Sometimes my desire to share Christ turned on the light bulbs.  The light bulbs belong to God.  So should the right to turn them on and off.  When I take matters into my own hands I am playing god with my life.  When I leave God to be in charge of the light switch, He is Lord of my life.  It's important for everyone who claims to have Jesus as their Savior to check out who has their hands on the light switch.  Ultimately, there is only one light switch.

So, anyway, there I was minding my own business...

     Henry, my dog, loves cats...to chase.  He also loves rabbits...to chase.  He never catches either one, but he loves to chase them.  Yesterday I took Henry with me to an outside cafe where he was on leash and the cat under the next table wasn't.  Yes, it was unfair.  However, it made the cat feel very safe to know Henry couldn't come after it.  Henry wasn't too happy about the situation either.  Here he was within 10 feet of the cat and couldn't do a thing.  Resigned to his captivity he laid down and went to sleep.  Henry, like me, has reality thrust upon him in ways which show the lack of control he has over his environment.  Unlike me, he was constrained by a leash where I'm constrained by my self-control and expectation of others.  Quite a bit of the time I find that self-control is over rated and so are the expectation of others.  When I find something stimulating me in my environment there is usually a response despite the expectation of others and the "right" expected behavior.  Henry shares my dismay at the confines he finds himself in just as I do.
     I do try to mind my own business...well, some of the time.  There seem to be times when the Holy Spirit takes over and the "rules" of this world are challenged through me.  For instance, I have no control over the many people over the years who (strangers) have started talking and were soon disclosing their history, current situation and any problems or concerns they have.  So, I've found myself in mini-counseling sessions in the weirdest of places.  It's not that I intended to do so but rather that the situation thrust itself upon me and I was not able to resist the moment and go with the flow.  This doesn't make me uncomfortable.  However, these events do make those who are with me uncomfortable.  Can't say I blame them.  This is my world though and God can use it as he wishes.  So, I have to try and mind my own business.  My friends have told me that I have this "look" that just begs for people to tell me their problems.  I do like to help and believe that God has gifted me in this manner.  So, when God moves I'm supposed to move as well.  Scripture tells us to be ready to give an account of the hope that is within us (Jesus).  Scripture tells us to be ready in season and out of season (all the time) to answer for our faith.  Scripture tells us that the "word of God will never return void."  So, even when I've been minding my own business, it's God's business and I must attend to the task he puts before me. 
     Here is part of the difficulty with others and my minding my own business.  Many people know my past.  They know of my failing to hold to Christian principles, my sin and the extent of the hurt I've done to others as well as to the witness of God's grace in my life.  Many people feel that with my past I should just keep my mouth shut and leave God's work to those who aren't as messed up as I am.  God doesn't see it that way.  God works through his people.  We who are His people are all sinners saved by the same Grace that God bestows upon all who call upon his name.  No one is disqualified for the race (Paul), and no one is outside of being used by God.  I've been known to drink alcoholic beverages and talk about Jesus at the same time.  I figure if Jesus could do so at a wedding that I probably can as well.  You see, it's not about me.  It's about Jesus.  It's about getting the word out there of the saving grace he has brought to all of us who will call upon his name.  There are Christians who smoke, speed when they drive, cuss and other behaviors that aren't a good witness.  YET, their witness to the greatness of the grace of God surpasses their deficiencies. 
     We, God's people ought to be able to speak the saving grace of Christ to whomever wherever and whenever.  That would make us unpredictably unpredictable.  Being "instant in season and out" simply means we go about our business and God's mission "happens" and includes us.  If you are uncomfortable with ministering that way; God can still use you.  Don't think you can get out of it that easy.  Just as God can bring (and does) about situations where you'd least expect to be called upon to witness, he can also bring about the constraint when he wants us to be silent.  Sometimes the only Bible some people will read is in observing our lives from a safe distance.  I don't remember who said it but the following is true:  "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing."  Be different, do something.  Anything is better than nothing.  You don't have to memorize the Bible, be able to pray the way the pastor does, ore even go house to house to be a witness for God.  All God asks us to do is be available, mind our own business, and then be open to God telling us what to do.  It's simple and yet we fight it.  Don't act like you are on a leash.  

Sometimes I still act stupid.

     Peter: "I'll never deny you even if they kill me."  Steve: "I'll never deny Jesus."  Reality: We both did what we didn't think we would ever do.  Sometimes I still act stupid.  That's what it must be because I don't seem to learn my lesson very well.  But, I know that you in your life have arrived and don't do this anymore.  Right?  I mean, the papers/television/web are all loaded with the exposed faults and decisions of believers and non-believers alike acting out or doing stupid things.  Here we sit, sitting ducks at a county fair, ready for anyone and everyone to take pot shots at.  I admit that it is my decision to do stupid things that foster comments, judgements and even applaud for those decisions.  Some days the wind blows in my favor and some days the wind doesn't.  Be aware that the wind and change of it's directions are there and exercised whenever they will.  So, today, this topic is covered in this blog for all those out there who still do stupid stuff either by accident or choice.
     When Peter made his famous declaration we know from Scripture that it came after he was the only one of the disciples who also made the declaration that Jesus was the Messiah who had come to save a fallen world.  How can such a man with such an insightful statement make such a horrible choice and deny his Lord 3 times?  Many of us know the answer to that question.  Why?  Because we too have made that decision.  Our question to ourselves is not "Why?" but rather, "When will I learn my lesson and turn around like Peter did?"  That's the real issue for Peter and the real issue for you and I.  Are we prepared to make a stand without regard to what others may be thinking?  Remember that Peter was with the disciples when he made his Messiah statement and again was with them when he made his denial statement.  In both cases he meant with all his being what he was saying.  But where the flesh is weak...
     Does my love of sports overshadow my love of Jesus and his mission?  Does my love of exercise and looking good overshadow my love of Jesus and his mission?  Do I have excess while others have nothing?  Do I need the two cars, recreational vehicles, party destinations and other self indulgent things so much that they overshadow my love of Jesus and his mission?  IF I do, then I can't hear Jesus saying, "Feed my sheep."  Not once but three times Jesus says this to Peter/Steve and you.  If I can't hear Jesus saying anything then what is being said about my relationship with Him?  Can I quote the favorite song lyrics but not remember what a verse in the Bible says?  Are we so distracted by the world we live in that we are spiritually stupid?  Sometimes the angels in heaven must shake their heads and walk away when I make choices that I have made.
     YET, there is hope!  The fact that I'm here typing this blog means I am alive for yet another day and have yet another chance to face yet another set of circumstances where I can begin with a clean slate.  I can ask for the forgiveness of my sins and that's not stupid.  I can read the Bible and that's not stupid.  I can listen to the Holy Spirit and that's not stupid.  I can be more than a conqueror and that's not stupid.  AND worse case scenario I can go home to be with Jesus because he doesn't think of me as an action but as a child of his in his care.  I'm not stupid.  Neither are you.  We do stupid things and for this there is the grace of God waiting for all who desire.  Does my life reflect a love of Jesus so deep that through everything He remains?  Yes, and that's not stupid either.  It's more like most times I still act saved. 

It was supposed to be an easy two mile hike on flat land.

     Having the notion that getting out in a National Forest Park and walk a 2 mile loop in the rain forest seemed like a good idea.  The weather was perfect, the drive uneventful and leisurely and the loop I was going to walk was within what I was able to do and shouldn't have been even a second thought.  But when the forest ranger confirmed what I knew, I started off on my easy flat 2 mile loop walk.  Now I carry a pedometer every day since my heart attack.  This time I wanted to know how far I really walked.  The "flat walk" was uphill all the way to the end of the first side of the loop.  I then climbed and went UP the second loop ending up about 500 feet above my starting point.  Now that wouldn't have been too bad if there hadn't been the up and down, over and around nature of the trail.  By the time I was done with the walk I had walked 3.8 miles on the 2 mile loop.  Did I mention the detour around the landslide at the 500 foot level?  I concluded that the park was a government agency run place and they could say whatever they wanted and it would still be THEIR truth.  The weird part is I will probably do it again somewhere else!
     I am frustrated with Christians who (pastors and lay people) who begin with "All you have to do is give your heart to Jesus."  NO, that's not all you have to do.  I get tired of medical people who say, "You will need to take this easy test."  Wrong!  There is nothing easy for a person to be put inside of a tube that's barely big enough to hold my body when I'm claustrophobic.  It bothers me immensely that teachers say, "This is easy math and nobody should have trouble with it."  Really?  How about all of us mathematically challenged people?  Yet, day in and day out we do this on any number levels to those around us.  The expectation is placed upon you to accept the terms other people put out there as "necessary" to accomplish whatever it is they want you to accomplish.
     As most people who know me will say, I'm a person who isn't prone to follow the crowd, do as I am told, or even get along with those who do.  For me, life is not easy, simple, or even understandable in the way most people understand the world.  I'm not easily placated.  Nor am I inclined to hide the truth.  That being said, asking Jesus to come into your life is not something you should consider as simple and easy.  There is a consequence (positive and negative) to the process and decision leading into the change in a person's life.  Understanding your need is huge.  It depends on a fair assessment of who you have been, what your place in life is, and whether or not you are able to see that this change will not erase the past.  You will have forgiveness of your sins.  That's great!  But the path is not flat nor is it just 2 miles.  You have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and that's great!  The influence of the Holy Spirit (if listened to) will impact your life as you choose to be Christian in your former non-Christian world.  Friends will leave.  Friends will come.  Family, spouses, children and others who are non-believing will come at you from different directions trying to bring you back home.  It's not a 2 mile flat loop.  The end of the journey, after sanctification (God's changing your life to what he originally intended) is to be a witness of the truth (it was more than 2 miles and it was uphill both ways) and share it with others so that they can enter into His presence as well. 
     I've failed in my Christian life more than I have succeeded.  Yet, I have made it to where I am.  There have been the ups and downs but I knew there would be.  How did I know?  Because those who told me about Jesus were honest.  Because I read the Bible (many times through) and knew what was required and what could happen because of my decision.  I also knew honestly what a wretched sinner I was and that there was nothing good inside of me.  After receiving Christ I still struggle, make bad decisions, have many ups and downs.  I created the life I left.  God created the life I entered.  I know there are no flat easy routes for most everything in life.  Considering where I came from the road I travel is flat and easy.  That doesn't mean that there aren't ups and downs, around and over's.  The prize in the journey is daily and eternally.  That prize is the peace of God.  I'll definitely go on another hike in both worlds. 

When the end finally comes.

     Living with a sense of the eminent "end" is either exhilarating or devastating.  There seems to be no middle ground.  The "end" of an era, age, event, or incident all leave an impression upon us.  So much so that we transfer that feeling or impression on future endings even though they haven't even happened.  Some people live in that "worst case scenario" world while others live in the "Cinderella scenario."  And yes I know some people haven't a clue and don't care.  Such were the mindsets of the masses over the centuries when slow change took over their lives and eventually decimated them.  By the time "clues and caring" took place the "end" had come and there was nothing they could do about it.  Finality is fluid.  This finality depends on the person and situation.  Some resign themselves to the final whatever while others fight the finality until their last breath. 
     Then there are those situations where the "finality" or the "end" is a relief and welcome.  Remember that time the pastor droned on and on and people were falling asleep?  He thought he was saying something but you heard nothing? How about that history lecture at college or the early morning commute to work?  For some people and situations the relief of the end is enough to wish for it.  Ask any clock watcher at 5 PM and watch their reaction to the day being done.  The end can't come soon enough in a situation where there is awkwardness or embarrassment.  Sometimes a host has the sense to end a get together due to the hostility that may have erupted over some religious or political discussion.  Bars close at 2 AM for a reason.  Amen is said for a reason.  Goodbye is said for a reason. 
     When the end finally comes we all want to be able to move forward and not look back.  Regrets occupy so much of so many peoples lives.  Wishing, wanting or waning, our lives are attached to the past.  Yet, there is nothing any of us can do to "go back and make right" that which was wrong or ended wrongly.  The family whose child dies in a car crash has finality thrust upon them and there is no more time.  The husband or wife who is suddenly abandoned has finality thrust upon them over which they often have no choice.  The refugees who flee one country with nothing but the clothes on their backs face the reality of not only loss of possessions and country but identity.  The drug addicted who chooses one more line, one more hit, one more needle suddenly wakes to find all that was good in their world gone.  Finality comes to all of us.  Finality is all around us.  Whether you are burying your pet lizard or Grandma, finality is there.
     The disciples were all with Jesus for 3 years.  During that time he repeatedly told them that there was an end coming.  He told them about the suffering he must suffer.  He told them the manner of death he must die.  He told them they would be hated, persecuted, and killed because of their belief in him.  He told them that he would die, rise from the dead and ascend to heaven.  He told them that in their Christian life there was to be a LOT of finality.  BUT!  But he told them that he would be with them always, that he would send them the comforter and that they would share in eternity with them.  He told them he would go before them, that he would work wonders through them and that they would be strong and build the church.  He told them they would have a place in heaven that he would build for them.  He told them that he would take care of all their needs.
     Jesus told his disciples, believers through the ages and you and I that we could look forward to finality in a positive manner without regrets.  He told us to live this way as a testimony to his grace and forgiveness to us.  That's why God remembers our sin no more.  That's why God throws our sin far from us as east is to west.  That's why God is always looking "down the road" instead of back at the road.  The finality of our lives is a process that is ongoing.  We are saying hello and goodbye all the time.  We are entering into and out of all the time.  We are facing the rewards of the future all the time.  So, why do we fear?  Why do we regret?  Why do we look back?  Why?  Because we either believe God or we don't.  We either live as forgiven or we don't.  We either believe the promises or we don't.  We either have confidence or we don't.  That is why we do what we do.  It's your choice just as much as it is mine.  When the end finally comes will you be ready?  That's the important question.  Nothing else matters.  Nothing.