I've said that when I perceived people were going to take something I said the wrong way. Maybe you have had the same experience. Your wife just happens to come into the room as you give a friend a hug. Your wife doesn't care about the comfort but does care about why the hug is taking place. Anyone would do the same. So, you say, "It's no what you think." The innocence of the moment is gone. Everything in your hug was on the level and you hadn't had any other thought than the prayer you said to a friend. This scenario could have been a boss or co-worker. The action could anything but something that was outside the norm.
Why, then, do I feel guilt when I do give the hug? If I'm not doing something wrong, why the need to explain myself? Presumed guilt has destroyed many a relationship. Trust is damaged and the downhill slide begins. Satan loves dissension among Gods people specifically. This is truer than we like. Again, the action or word was innocent by intention but suspect if there is already trust issues between you and whomever encounters that action or word. We've seen it in our own circle, our own work, and our own church. What!? Yep, especially in the church. The pastor goes to a home and stays longer than normal. The church secretary talks about his or her time with the pastor a lot. It's easy for anyone to find reason for the negative. Why? There seems to be any number of beginnings of dissension among God's people much less those who are engaged with the world.
In this age of deception people are much more likely to suspect the wrong over the right. It's easier to be focused on the negative rather than the positive. Our minds are open to random thoughts of what may or may not be going on between you and whomever. Someone in your office hears you talking about a gift and maybe some money. They make the assumption that you are doings something that would be bad for business like bribery. So they take the assumption to the boss who in turn calls you in to find out just what is going on. You explain yourself letting your boss know that you were talking with your wife about a gift for your son and daughter in law as they move into their new home. Innocence. It's gone. As you come out of the office you look at your co-worker as he catches your eye. Innocence is gone and distance has been created. You make a note to never display anything in your co-workers mind that would cause this experience repeated.
As you walk in the door of your home (you're late again) your wife gives you a hug. She asks you about the perfume she smells on you. You explain that Edith, who has been with the company for 35 years, is retiring and there was a retirement party that afternoon and you had given her a hug when you said goodbye. Innocence is gone. Trust is damaged. We cannot read minds but the question your wife asked was really: "Are your cheating on me?" Doubt has been created in your relationship. You make a mental note to either not hug anyone in the future or to wear cologne to overpower any perfume that may be transferred in an innocent hug.
Heaven forbid you actually do something that is wrong and you are found out. The injury brings to mind all of the incidents in the past and once again they are suspect. Everything you have said or done now becomes an inquisition by her, him, and them. No amount of explaining can mend the heart and mind of one injured. Satan loves this. His desire to have your relationship destroyed is very strong. He will use anything and everything to make his plan work. Instead of relationships built on trust, the relationship is damaged and may not have trust ever again. This is not about men and women. This is not about jealousy or greed. But it could be. Not yours but someone else's jealousy. There is a lot of power stored in that state of mind. It's only powerful when you or I engage that jealousy.
Jesus tells us that we should trust no one. Why does he do that? Maybe it's because none of us are really trustworthy. Perhaps it's because we shouldn't be fooled by a wolf in sheep's clothing. The most dangerous avenue we can travel is to think or meditate on the thought of what God may be doing to set us up. Somewhere, somehow, we need to not go there. God does not think of ways to set you up to fail. He lets us fail if we are so inclined. He doesn't does not and will not set us up. He may let us get to the time and place where we do the fail. He also is right there willing and able to forgive us and help us back onto the right path. If you have been injured by someone the best way to bring about healing is to forgive them. They may not ask for forgiveness but give it anyway. Let the negative drain out and be replaced with positive. That's what God does for us...every day!
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