The dilemma of being human

It should go without saying that we love our life.  In the midst of the world situation, signs that say I am getting older, and my desire to be with Jesus the "love" part of life on earth is not to good.  Don't get me wrong.  I do love a lot of my life here on earth.  I just would like to go "home" sooner than later.  It's not because I am afraid for my health and safety or that of my family and friends.  Yes, there are dangers all around us.  No, we don't need to be paranoid or see a conspiracy around every corner.  We have created and morphed our earthly world to encourage and entice everything that God never intended.  It's that element that it would be nice to get away from or avoid.  While here on earth those actions are impossible.  Even if you go and hide in the woods there are dangers.  So, what we as humans do, we bring close to and around us what we perceive as "safe."  I'm sure each of us can begin to make a list of what is allowed in our lives and what is not.  Yet, the dangers sneak in when we aren't looking and toss our lives into turmoil.  Not our plan A at all.  Putting our fears in check involves trusting that God is doing what he said he is doing.  I do trust God.  I don't trust mankind.  In fact, I don't trust myself.  That's why I seek guidance from God.  There is ample proof that at different times in my life I did not seek God's guidance and will for me.  Having brought my own share of havoc into my life and the lives of others brings a heaviness to my heart.  I cannot take it back and I cannot make everything alright.  What I can do is ask for forgiveness from God and those who I have offended.  Maybe that is part of my desire to go home.  Perhaps I'm tired of the earthly Steve hurting people intentionally or not?  Having no escape handy I remain here on earth.  I'll try anew each day to let God be the author and finisher of my faith.  It's okay to want to go home as long as we understand when and where are His call and not ours.  So, I take a deep breath and push forward for God.  I hope this has blessed you and that your day is wonderful and full of the blessings of God