Early morning time

For all of you who are NOT morning people, I apologize in advance.  Early mornings, gardens and working in the shop have some nice commonalities.  First, it's alone time.  Not very many people I know are early morning people.  They usually start their day at 10 AM or later.  I usually start mine somewhere around 5 AM with a small afternoon nap.  No one bothers me at this time in the morning.  Well, except the dogs who want breakfast.  It's my alone time for God and I to discuss the day and other events in my life.  When other people are getting into the swing of things at 9 PM, I'm ready for bed.  The second commonalty is found in the garden.  I discovered long ago that when you are working in the garden no one bothers you.  No phone calls, no door knockers and that is nice.  Pulling weeds and picking the produce is relaxing and takes away the stresses of the day.  So, to the garden I go either before my nap or after.  I know that I can work with my hands and see tangible results down the road.  Besides, home grown vegetables taste better.  The shop is my cave.  When things go wrong I can go to my cave.  When things go right I can go to my cave.  When the honey do list gets put before me I can go to my cave.  It's here that I work with my hands and mind.  Putting things together and taking them apart.  Forming wood for some useful purpose.  My creativeness is optimized and once again, no one bothers me in the cave.  It's a mess most of the time and a mess it should be.  A tidy shop is the first sign of a disturbed mind.  Away from the cares of the world I can take a can of soda and a candy bar out of my mini fridge and snack in peace.  Ultimately I have to leave the cave but for the time there I have great rewards.  Jesus was a busy man.  When he had the chance he went to spend time alone.  He prayed, rested and I think he had a cave of his own.  The ability of all of us to go somewhere in our mind and find peace and relaxation makes our cave capable of going elsewhere.  Going to an irritable relatives house, don't forget to pack the cave.  Whether you are an early morning person or not don't go through a day without some time alone with God first and by yourself secondly.  This is an important part of our saying sane in an insane world.  Enjoy the day!

Patience isn't my forte!

To prove the fact I had just finished this post when my computer chose to lock up.  By the time I was able to free it from the frozen state; the post was gone.  Have you ever felt that way?   Patience is a valuable trait to have develop in the lives of people who seek to serve God.  In turn our ability to be patient is tested from time to time.  Like in writing this post.  I am unable to recall all that I had written so I'm starting over.  How do I know that all of this isn't just the will of God?  I don't.  I do know that God wants to encourage us.  If everything went "right" in our lives, patience wouldn't be an issue at all.  That's not the way the world functions though.  In so many areas of life we are challenged with the need to be patient.  Some are minor and we can deal with them right now.  Others are major and need time and outside help.  Then there are the personal ones!  These are the hardest to overcome.  I'm not patient with myself.  You probably aren't either.  Next, I'm not as patient as I could and should be with those close to me.  Last but certainly not lease, I'm impatient with God.  This last one is funny in one sense.  We are impatient with God as he is patient with others and gives them time and grace!  It would be nice if the world was in sync, but the world isn't in sync.  It will be when we are in heaven.  I don't know about you but my impatience is driven by my selfishness.  We see it in our two and three year old, then teens, then when we become adults.  Impatience follows us to college and then into the world of adult responsibility with work and relationships.  Being paired with someone like me is difficult at its best.  The supreme act of patience is waiting for someone you love to become patient.  So, I've been trying to let go and let God bring about the changes in me so that I am less impatient and more patient.  Looking back over my life it's very plain to see where I've grown patient and where I've not been able to turn over that part of my life.  If we truly turn our life over to God and let him use it as he pleases then all things are on his timeline.  Patience then becomes a virtue that we can model to those around us.  So, just for today I will do my best to be on God's plan and exercise the patience of God with tasks as well as others.  God only knows the benefits others will receive though this change.  When we are encouraged by others the task of being patient grows.  We are able to emulate Jesus better and peace fills that area of our lives.  I pray that today you are able to let God have the responsibility of your lives so that our lives become a witness to others. 

Woulda, coulda, shoulda...

Woke up with thoughts of Jesus on my mind.  Good start to the day!  Then I got up...  You see, my mind is my worst enemy.  When the mind begins to be independent of my love for Jesus; there is chaos.  My mind seems to be fixated on all that woulda, coulda, or shoulda happen.  This is instead of what would, could, or should happen when I have Jesus as the only focus of my life.  Paul wrestled with this.  As did many Christians over the years.  I'm not alone.  I could say that "I am just human." and be content with my failures but that isn't what God wants me to say.  God simply wants me to say, "Yes."  Nothing more and nothing less.  He doesn't want me to say it to yesterday.  Yesterday is gone.  Learn from it and move on.  HE doesn't want me to say it for tomorrow.  Tomorrow (Matthew sermon on the mount) has sufficient issues of it's own.  God wants us to say "Yes" to this moment.  The inability of us to do this is indicative of how we are ineffective we are in our daily walk.  Tied up by thoughts of the past and incapacitated by thoughts of the future, we do little or nothing of what God wants.  When we are distracted by yesterday and tomorrow we can only give what little is left over to being available for God and what his mission in our lives is all about.  It's not that God doesn't offer his help.  He does.  It's not that God doesn't offer his wisdom.  He does.  it's not that God doesn't talk with us about what he wants us to do.  He does.  Are we so preoccupied with yesterday and tomorrow that we miss today?  While it's true that we do remember the past; we don't need to be controlled by it.  It's similarly true that we should look forward to this or that.  However, we shouldn't be controlled by that either.  Should we relinquish our day to God, we would have peace, wisdom, direction and fulfillment.  It's all our choice. 

Better late than never...NOT!

Why is it we are the busiest on the days we have the least planned?  I know the answer.  The question is rhetorical.  When we don't have something scheduled we have space that others can fill in and we don't have to be careful to have completed something by a certain time.  I don't like it when I run out of time in the morning before I've written the blog for the day.  However, it happened again.  I could say something like, "Everything in God's timing." or "Something came up."  When we are looking for an excuse we settle for just about everything.  God and those we love don't want us to make excuses though.  It's not what is expected of us.  It's clear that God knows what we will do with our time every moment of every day.  Our friends and relatives aren't so lucky.  When we see them later in the week we might find ourselves saying, "I'm sorry, I meant to...(call, drop by, email, go out with them...) or some other statement that doesn't cover what they want to hear from us.  I've done this many times in my life.  I didn't think it was right then and don't now.  However, I repeat that cycle in  my life from time to time.  So our habits are formed and pretty soon we are being treated by our relatives and friends just like they are treated by us.  People drift apart and no longer are in contact except to put on their Christmas card or letter once a year.  We lose each other.  The same goes for our relationship with God.  We don't make the time to listen.  We don't make the time to learn.  We don't make the time to wait.  We don't make anymore time than the hour or so on Sunday morning.  We dust the Bible off when we have a crisis.  We pray over our meals but not in public lest we offend someone.  We memorize the statistics of our favorite team, the popular secular music or saying of some wise man that isn't.  We are late in meeting with God.  We are late in living for God.  Most will likely be late for the rapture.  Oops!  Did I just say that?  Maybe we've neglected the most important item telling ourselves we would get around to it, that we would do this right after whatever came up.  But a lot don't.  The rapture will come in "the twinkling of an eye." (one/ten thousandths of a Nano second for you nerds) and those who have made a decision for Jesus will be gone.  Not even a blip on the radar.  We'll just be here one Nano second and gone before the next Nano second.  The mass hysteria will begin with people who wonder where we went.  The politically correct will spin the whole thing.  Some will say that this rapture thing didn't even happen.  Yet, in this case, the Bible tells us that later is not better than nothing.  Better late than never?  For me, not on my life.  This is one engagement I entered into when called.  I am not always on time otherwise.  Will He find me waiting?  Yes.  Will He find you waiting?  Only you know.  Remember it's not better late than never.

Freedom in surrender

Here it is the weekend and I still have projects and chores undone from the week.  Yet, I'm asked to surrender time and resources for the day.  It's not unpleasant and not really a choice.  Time spend investing in other's lives is always good.  It would seem that a lot depends on who you are investing your time with.  If the person(s) are someone God has directed you to care for then there is no cost too great.  We tend to have our relationships ordered this way as Christians even if the bigger picture isn't Christian at all.  Here is what I mean.  We look at our lives (first mistake, it's His life in me) and then the other person(s) life (second mistake, it's Christ in him) and as a result determine whether it's worth it in our estimate (third mistake, "our" is His determination).  We keep our lives so busy that we don't have the time, don't take the time or worse, don't give the time to what Jesus wants.  We do not take the time to look at our world and those in it from Jesus' point of view.  I think we do this for several reasons.  I know these reasons because I have or still use them in my life.  First, we are fearful of what God will ask us to do.  Second, we are fearful of having to interact with those we don't want to interact with.  Thirdly, we are fearful of having our lives exposed for what they are.  This is all wrong!  If we are fearful of God, we cannot at the same time love him.  God is love.  If we can rationalize and justify our desires (selfishness) then it's understandable that we cannot love others as God loves us.  God is love.  Should we deny our sin (that's what it is) we deceive ourselves and the love of God is not in us.  God is love.  I know that God wants my surrender to all areas of my life.  While I have some measure of surrendering, there is so many other areas of my life where I take the reins.  If I take the reins, then I've also rejected the Lordship of Jesus in my life.  I hate that and yet, I do just that.  The times I have done what God asked and talked to this person, helped that person, understood those people; God has blessed me beyond any imagined measure.  When I do the will of God I am free.  Surrender has a negative connotation and so we shy away from using that word.  Yet, it's a positive word when we talk about doing the will of God.  When I am surrendered (obviously not all the time) then I am blessed with peace.  When I don't surrender there is no peace.  When I let Jesus order my life there is nothing that interrupts his will in my life.  Yet, when I say "No." to Jesus, my life is in disorder.  Have you ever had that feeling after the fact that what you have done, said, or thought was exactly the right thing to do?  It felt great, didn't it!  When I plan my life past today I'm planning to order my life.  When I remain available to God there is little for me to do but wait and do what he wants.  What God wants is for us to let him bless us...all the time.  What would our lives and the lives of those around us look like if we took life one day at a time and just did what Jesus asks us to do?  It would look like peace.  Peace is a great feeling.  When it's the peace of God that passes all understanding (human) then it's really great.  Today I have the choice to bless or curse others in my life.  The choice is all mine.  Today I'll let go of my choices.  It would nice to do this perfectly yet I know that won't happen so I'll put a bucket of peace and forgiveness when I don't do what I'm supposed to do.  Our lives should reflect the love of God alongside the mercy and grace of God.  There is no sense looking back as that "time" is gone.  There is no sense in looking past today as that "time" hasn't come.  So, for right now the choice is to rest in his peace and do his will.  I wonder what God will bring into my path today?

Being alone with God

There are many ways and times we can be alone with God.  Sometimes we like to be alone when we are alone with God.  Other times we can do the same thing with a spouse, friend, or body of believers.  I'd like to focus on being alone with no one else present but God.  In many ways I grew up alone in a family of 9.  I didn't know God at the time but did know who was safe to be alone with.  My sister, Charlotte, was then, is now and will always be someone for me to be alone with and safe.  From an early age she was in many ways my mom and friend as well as sister.  She's been there for the best and worst of times in my life and I for her.  Sometimes when we talk on the phone it's just like we are in person.  I can see her facial expressions as we talk serious as well as playfully.  Because of our relationship she and I know when something isn't right in each others lives.  Obviously this leads us to pray for each other.  Charlotte has survived cancer twice, a stroke, and myriad of other health problems.  Her faith has remained rock solid during those times.  Her example passed on to me in person and during our alone time have helped me through my bad times as well.  We both have our alone time with Jesus as well.  One day we will join together to worship him in heaven.  Until then I will cherish our relationship.  We need these examples in our life so that we can have hope, know we are not alone, and to show us that we are never alone if we have Jesus in our lives.  Still, when the going gets tough I am hesitant to tell others.  I do tell Charlotte, Steve and my wife the intimate positive and negatives in my life.  Sometimes I do this before I talk with God and sometimes after I've let Jesus speak into my life.  Being alone and not lonely is important for anyone.  Knowing how to interact with alone time, quiet time, and busy time comes with practice.  Because God wants us to have alone time with him, Satan wants us to believe God doesn't care, is too distant or too busy.  As with Job, sometimes the enemy is our friends or even spouses.  They urge us in ways other than God would have us go.  Sometimes when I'm in a group setting I have the best alone time.  It's time for me to watch and make observations in regards to Christian living.  Picking up those behaviors that reflect a deeper connection with God.  When I talk with others about their serious situations as well as hilarious situations I am alone with them.  It is at these times I can pass on the nuggets of wisdom God has given me and has helped me incorporate into my life.  I love to sing to God.  He's the only one who loves to hear me sing.  I don't do well with singing with others because my voice isn't very good due to my hearing loss.  So, this is a wonderful time that I get to be alone with God.  The message for me today is that I need to take alone time with God regardless of the situation or time of day that alone time is needed.  Should I succeed God and I will become closer and trusting.  He showed me how this works with my sister Charlotte.  Thanks for helping.  My wish for you today is that you too have alone time with special people and of course God.

Today is all we have

We don't have tomorrow and yesterday is gone.  All we have is right now.  Does my yesterday count for anything?  Will my tomorrow count for anything?  It's my choice whether or not my life counts for anything right now.  With so many areas of our life embracing a time frame from minutes to hours to days and sometimes years, it's difficult to live just for today.  It's all about making the most of the moment.  I've wrecked moments, days, and even years with negative choices I have made.  How about you?  Recently I've become more aware of some of the reasons for my choices.  The choices basically come down to selfishness.  Wherever there is selfishness, there is not love.  Wherever there is no love, there is no Godly purpose being served.  What is God's purpose for me?  God's purpose is for me to bring glory to him.  I've had successful days and failed many more in bringing this about.  Still, God loves me.  Amazing!  It would be nice of I had the ability to see how my wrong choices would turn out.  It's not like I had a warning.  My history is full of me, my choices and consequences.  I know that I have made good choices as well.  If all I do is focus on them no growth can be made.  In sanctification (being made more like God), the process is halted when I sin and don't repent.  The enemy wants me to be in a state of self destruct.  That's where yesterday comes into play in our lives.  That's all the enemy has...yesterday.  God says that we are made new every day.  He tells us that he loves us and is patiently waiting for us to re-invite him into the life we have taken back.  So, why don't we do that?  For me the answer is that I don't like to admit my sin.  Over my lifetime I have had people who felt it was there job to remind me over and over what a terrible person I was.  I've also had people who reminded me of who God saw me as.  I'd like to say that the latter won all the time but that wouldn't be true.  I hated history in school and I hate it now.  Not that history has occurred but rather that my negative history has been brought back to me again and again.  I'm not the sum of my mistakes.  Yet, Satan wants us to believe just that.  God says that I'm who he made me to be.  God says he was there with every good and bad choice I have made even before I knew him.  Wow!  God knows all of my yesterdays and still chooses to love me!  God knows what is going to transpire today and all of my today's and still he chooses to love me!  Do you have anyone in your life who does that?  Nope. me either.  We are a fallen people who should be ONLY pointing to Jesus every day of our life.  It's all about focus today, this minute, right now and not anything else.  We have a hard time getting through the day without chocolate (or whatever you desire above God).  So, what would my life look without sin?  First of all God knows that will never happen because of my fallen nature.  Secondly, God knows that will occur when I go to be with him in heaven.  Until then, I have the privilege of today.  Not yesterday.  Not tomorrow.  Just today.  That's all.  I don't even have the privilege of each hour or moment.  So, for today I will choose to die and let Christ live each moment of my life.  I will also know that I will not be perfect and I will be okay with that.  Even if Satan and others aren't okay with that.  Today is all we have.  Thank you God for that wonderful gift! 

About laying bricks in my life

I have a brick path project that I have finally begun.  Brick laying, even for a path, is a tedious job.  If you don't take your time and do it right, the job will turn our less than it could.  This could cause someone else to suggest that you either do the job over or find someone who can.  So, it was with fear and trepidation that I took the first shovel full of dirt and tossed it into my waiting wheelbarrow.  Within a couple of minutes I was sweating profusely!  Not wanting to quit I plodded on.  After 2 hours I was finally ready to put down the first brick.  So I took my level and a straight piece of wood and set them in place for a level laying of the brick.  If the concrete patio hadn't shifted, sunk, and broken a bit the leveling would have worked.  So, I have an almost level but flat beginning to the brick path.  The next encountered problem involves the curve of the current cement patio that is cracked and not level.  Cutting or chipping broken bricks to fit became the next task.  When I finally stopped for the day I could sit back and be proud of the job done so far.  I sat on a chair on the patio and reflected on the work done so far.  Having patted myself on my back it suddenly dawned on me that God was doing a similar job on my life.  It's actually his life in me but I won't go technical just yet.  The current location of my life has provided more than one area where chipping and fitting the bricks is necessary.  Not to mention the uneven way my life has formed by my choices.  Working around the crooks and crannies has been difficult for God as I am quite resistant to having them fixed or replaced.  In the end, the life I live, is only as good as the canvas I surrender for God to work with.  I want God to have his way in my life and wrestle with letting go.  Fear seems to be the big culprit.  Fear of what I have to give up.  Countering this fear with fact and knowledge makes the surrender easier.  Knowing that whatever God does in my life is better than whatever I can do in my life serves as the impetus to go forward with him laying the bricks.  God is so gracious and patient.  Today I will go and lay some more brick while reflecting on God laying bricks in me. 

Things aren't always as they seem

For the past few weeks I have been looking at potential houses that I would like to live in down the road.  Yesterday I actually went and looked at one of those houses.  What a different presentation in person!  The house did not look very much like the pictures online.  I was a bit disappointed and then realized that I had "imagined" what the parts of the property would look like.  The differences between my imagination and reality were quite significant.  Pondering the property on my way home I was struck by that same fact in how I (we) imagine others to be whom we have not met yet.  We imagine this car versus that car and then end up with the lemon.  We choose to imagine we can create that dish that we saw on TV but in reality are lucky to be able to boil water.  Our social life has a tension of its own when we imagine what this person looks like, how that person talks, and generally how we want them to present.  Finally, there is the dilemma of a new job.  We interview well, they present well and when we take the job we settle into the reality.  Disappointed, we tough it out.  Much the same in some relationships.  And yes, that cute little $80.00 purse doesn't go with that blouse like you thought it would.  The spiritual realm is much the same.  We paint mental pictures of all kinds for our kids and when they grow up they do the same for their kids.  What does reality look like in our spiritual lives.  For beginners, the image of Jesus isn't what reality would present.  He most likely was not blond and blue eyed and a Caucasian.  What!!??  It shouldn't really matter.  But it does.  We focus on something that means little in the real world and eternity while missing out on the important stuff.  We look forward to what heaven is going to be like.  Do we put our unsaved neighbor in the picture or have we neglected telling them about Jesus?  So, what does the picture of your life and circumstances really look like?  What do you present of your Christianity so that people "looking" will want to buy your goods?  Over time I have been able to be more "real" and congruent with what Christianity is.  I'm not there yet.  Some days I fail miserably and other days I get out of the way and people see Jesus.  I want more of the latter.  What is your image of Jesus in your life look like?  Mine needs a lot of work every day.  Don't give up!

Has the glow of Easter subsided?

As Christians we love God and focus on Christmas and Easter being the uplift our spirits need during the year.  So, after the holidays, what then?  The festivities of the previous day are behind us, the dishes are done and the Easter decorations are taken down and put away.  Then what?  Well, we go back to work, get on with our retirement, or resume life as it was before.  We have, as Christians, go back to the same old life we were living.  That's not how it's supposed to be.  The life of a Christian should be impacted every day with newness that builds our faith and promotes the love of God through our surrendered lives.  You may argue that you don't do this and I sincerely pray that you don't stay stagnant in your life with Jesus.  Society has programmed us to think differently.  The advent of Easter (or Christmas) is focused beginning many months before the event with the message that we must spend some money for the event.  While the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus do not exist they become the major focus of the holiday.  Christians all over may go to the Good Friday service.  Christians who are into celebrating Easter but haven't gone to church will darken the doorway of the church for one of the two times during the year.  Token respect for God on these special days lasts them for the other 363 days of the year.  I've never understood this mentality but do acknowledge that the reality exists.   Why don't we live like Jesus is risen every day?  Why do we celebrate soccer,  football or baseball games with more fervor than we do Christian holidays.  People can quote statistics for their favorite players but are unable to tell anyone why they should trust Jesus for their salvation.  It's sad; isn't it?  Don't let the glow of Jesus in your life diminish or even go out after the holiday.  Let your faith grow and glow every day.

He is risen! Happy Easter

It's a great morning!  Even the weather is nice.  I have never imagined an Easter with bad weather.  This probably has happened more than once over the ages.  It's kind of like picturing Christmas with snow.  Christmas isn't fully a holiday until there is snow (even if it's fake or sprayed on windows).  The same is true for Easter.  Can you picture an Easter without bunnies and candy, dyed eggs and of course the empty tomb?  The empty tomb is the real focus.  He is risen.  He is not there.  Once at an Easter function put on by my church, I temporarily lost Daniel.  He was about 3 and had wandered off without my noticing.  Two things immediately hit me.  He had been abducted and I would never see him again.  Fighting the panic rising in me I put the other 3 kids with a responsible adult and went searching for Daniel.  After what seemed like hours (5 minutes actually) I located the errant child and returned him to the flock.  Relief was what I felt.  That's what Easter is all about.  He rose from the dead and was nowhere to be found.  The difference is that He was searching for us.  He continues to search for the lost.  He continues to search me for areas where I'm still lost.  When I awake I know that Jesus is my Lord and Savior.  There is no question of that for me.  His searching for the rest of me is amazing!  He never gives up!  I'm so glad he doesn't allow me to wander away where danger abounds.  Daniel doesn't remember the incident.  When I look at Jesus I don't remember the past.  All we see of Jesus is his presence and our future with Him.  Nothing else really matters.  Have a great Easter. 

Ah, Saturday morning!

It's a great feeling to have gone through the week and seen accomplishments validating the efforts of our hands and minds.  In the past I have sought the positive reinforcement of others and been caught in that trap where it's never good enough.  I am good enough.  That doesn't mean I have arrived (like Saturday) but that my life means something to God and me.  This morning arrived at 5:15 AM for me.  The glow of the eastern horizon was dull and cloudy.  Quite the opposite of what's inside of me.  When we search for who we are; why is so much time spent trying to be that which we are not?  While I've had many vocations, they do not define me.  They speak to what I've accomplished and what I've failed at but do not define me.  Some people in all of our pasts attempt to keep us button holed with the image they need for us to be.  However, dress us up all you want, the inside image is what's important.  I have this problem.  Most days when I am having a meal I spill minute portions of food on my shirt.  My wife just laughs at me.  A dirty shirt doesn't alter who I am inside.  Likewise, it doesn't seem to matter with what I wear, when I go outside I seem to get dirt, grease, or whatever material I'm working with on my clothes.  This doesn't define me either.  Saturdays are usually a semi-relaxed in most areas of life.  Often I have committed myself to so many chores that I will not get to them all.  I know that no one else has that problem.  Once again, Saturdays do not define who I am.  Finishing a project or beginning one doesn't mean that I'm either positive or negative.  What it does mean is that I am alive and active in my life.  When the pain gets too bad (physical) I always have my recliner where I can sit, watch soccer, write or just veg out and that's okay as well.  What I'm trying to say is that the life I live on the inside doesn't always jibe with the life I live on the outside.  In fact, most of the marked changes for the good are inside of me.  God has determined that I am lovable whether or not I do this or that.  God has determined that he can turn something from good to great.  God looks on the inside.  He knows the inside.  We don't have that ability though some think they do.  Let's leave judgment for God and just enjoy Saturday and others.  Have a great day!

The dilemma of being human

It should go without saying that we love our life.  In the midst of the world situation, signs that say I am getting older, and my desire to be with Jesus the "love" part of life on earth is not to good.  Don't get me wrong.  I do love a lot of my life here on earth.  I just would like to go "home" sooner than later.  It's not because I am afraid for my health and safety or that of my family and friends.  Yes, there are dangers all around us.  No, we don't need to be paranoid or see a conspiracy around every corner.  We have created and morphed our earthly world to encourage and entice everything that God never intended.  It's that element that it would be nice to get away from or avoid.  While here on earth those actions are impossible.  Even if you go and hide in the woods there are dangers.  So, what we as humans do, we bring close to and around us what we perceive as "safe."  I'm sure each of us can begin to make a list of what is allowed in our lives and what is not.  Yet, the dangers sneak in when we aren't looking and toss our lives into turmoil.  Not our plan A at all.  Putting our fears in check involves trusting that God is doing what he said he is doing.  I do trust God.  I don't trust mankind.  In fact, I don't trust myself.  That's why I seek guidance from God.  There is ample proof that at different times in my life I did not seek God's guidance and will for me.  Having brought my own share of havoc into my life and the lives of others brings a heaviness to my heart.  I cannot take it back and I cannot make everything alright.  What I can do is ask for forgiveness from God and those who I have offended.  Maybe that is part of my desire to go home.  Perhaps I'm tired of the earthly Steve hurting people intentionally or not?  Having no escape handy I remain here on earth.  I'll try anew each day to let God be the author and finisher of my faith.  It's okay to want to go home as long as we understand when and where are His call and not ours.  So, I take a deep breath and push forward for God.  I hope this has blessed you and that your day is wonderful and full of the blessings of God

Last nights dream.

I was awakened this morning startled by the dream I was having.  In the dream life was going along when people began to be taken to from their homes to a new home.  The people making the arrangements and transporting us were officials of some sort.  We were taken to a staging area leading me to believe we were evacuated for our own safety.  We were paired together and waited in this large area like a big church building.  I was paired with a lady about my age wearing a light blue housecoat and a kerchief around her hair which was still in curlers.  At one point we were asked to take our partner and help them across the bridge.  I next found myself walking or being walked across this shiny chrome like bridge.  I was walking with someone whom I didn’t know but they were familiar.  The further across the bridge the other people were slowly were gone from the picture.  I remember talking with someone about something in the past but the conversation really didn’t matter.  It was then that I awakened in a startled state.  Reflecting back on the dream (I normally don’t remember dreams) one element came to me.  There was no two way traffic on the bridge.  The people walking across it all went only that one direction.  I don’t know what meaning the dream has for me.  Perhaps it’s meant for someone else or maybe for me.  In any case, the focus of moving forward and taking nothing with me should be reflected in my love for Jesus.  I’m ready to go if that is what the Lord wants.  You can never go back once you move in the direction that Jesus wants to go.

Delayed day...just take it in stride

Well, here it is 8:15 PM and I finally have Internet service.  I was quite shocked to see our system down this morning at 5:30 AM and called our vendor.  They said they would have someone out between 3 and 5 PM.  He arrived at 5:16 PM.  Guess I was supposed to work on patience and understanding today.  Anyway, here I am no worse for the ware.  I'm normally not a very patient person.  I can fake it on the outside but those who know me can see the signs.  My wife works at home and decided that she would go to the office for the say.  I hope she wasn't suggesting that my space had anything to do with it.  The dogs and I kept each other company as I did chores, putzed (that's an old term for doing stuff.) around until I had done enough to call the day a success.  I was raised in a home with an impatient father.  I became an impatient boy and raised impatient kids when they came along.  I'm sure they will thank me later.  I have made headway over time.  It seems that the "unknown factor" is my PTSD which is a subconscious trigger for my impatience.  My tendency to be demanding goes up when I become impatient.  So does my level of stress.  Taking a deep breath, working outside, and woodworking all help.  Today I took a nap with my dogs.  The little one slept in my lap and snored.  I don't know if he continued after I went to sleep.  When I woke up I was hoping to see a smiling technician for the Internet waiting at my door.  No such luck.  He was late but he was nice, professional, knowledgeable and didn't charge me a fee for coming to fix the problem.  By the way, he wasn't able to fix my router so we have to get a new one.  Things were easier back when we could write a letter, put a stamp on it and throw it in the mail.  I think the Internet is part of the cause for my increased impatience.  Anyway, I did make it through the day and no one was hurt.  Better yet, I didn't hurt myself.  It was a successful day!

Being reminded vs remembering

Sometimes people say to me, "Remember when..." and I do remember.  Sometimes these same people need to remind me and then the memory comes.  I've come to the conclusion that we remember the most important information and we need to be reminded of the rest.  I remember the birth of my children and their first real wound.  I'm reminded of things they may have said or done when I was away at work.  I remember my wife's birthday but need a reminder for anyone outside my immediate family.  You see, repetitive events need no reminder but solitary events can also enter into the "no reminder" zone.  I hate taking tests.  I have always hated taking tests.  Why?  Because I don't remember unless I have a reminder.  What are your remembered versus reminded memories?  Do you have a problem being able to unlock a memory deep in your mind?  Some of my memories are crystal clear like they happened a few minutes ago.  While other memories are fuzzy.  It's here that I need the reminder so that focus can be obtained.  Often the memories of certain events become embellished over time.  That fish you caught wasn't 3 feet long...it was 8 inches at best.  Sometimes we are truly without a memory for whatever reason.  This is frustrating for me.  If I once remembered the event, where did the details go?  Perhaps the details weren't important anymore.  I have had many many experiences with creating a new password because the old one was just beyond my mental reach.  I've not remembered to look in my pockets before washing my clothes only to find my favorite pen now clean...and leaked over the rest of my laundry.  Still the essentials of our memory seem to function for now. When caught "in the moment" it seems those memories become readily available and pop into our minds.  It's that way with what we do with Scripture as well.  The Bible tells us that we should have the Word written on our heart (the most important organ in the Bible).  Part of my difficulty is that I've also allowed other "stuff" to be written on my heart.  Years of secular music, secular classes, secular people feeding my mind cause conflict for room in my heart.  Having Jesus as my Savior should be the primary focus and memory in my heart so that the Word that is a light unto my path will be unfiltered.  The verses that tell of the victory of Jesus over evil would be there on the day I'm feeling attacked.  Girding myself with the Gospel of peace will be essential in my dealings with others.  What this really all comes down to is who do we want the world see?  Do we want them to have to be reminded we are a Christian?  Do we want them to remember we are a Christian.  The latter is my choice.  Remembering from whom my strength comes is a nice road map to living victoriously.  Today I remember my roots and my present and am reminded that it was Christ who gave me life.

The dilemma of the "to do" list...

When I was working there were two items essential for me to keep up with the demands of my work.  The first was my trusty calendar which directed me to do this and that but not that and this.  :)  I religiously updated my calendar every day (sometimes even on the weekends).  I never crossed off items on the calendar because that just looked to yucky!  The other item essential for my life back then was my "to do" list.  This list (I actually had two; one for home and one for work) was of major as well as minor tasks that needed to be accomplished.  They, for the most part, reminded me of the never ending task of work and home work.  Thus over the years they gained a negative connotation and groans from me with each new item that I put on the list.  It was quickly apparent that I had fallen into the maze of "to do" items.  Never mind that it was I who created the list!  When I retired the work list went away.  For whatever reason the home list became longer.  It was then that I learned that the items on our "to do" lists are directly dependent upon the time we have free.  Quite sneaky if you ask me.  So, I still have my "to do" at home list which I update whenever something needs to be crossed off or added to the list.  Many years ago I had a very different "to do" list.  I kept a small notebook in which I wrote down prayer requests with the date that the request was written down.  Each day I would review the list and cross off whatever prayer had been answered.  After doing this for a couple of years I decided to review the whole list.  To my surprise (even though it shouldn't have been a surprise) all the prayer requests to within a couple of months were completed.  Not one prayer request was left unanswered!  Wish I could say the same for my home "to do" list!  When we pray and leave an item for the Lord, he is faithful and answer.  The answer may not be the one we wanted, however, the request was answered regardless.  God is faithful and listens to our requests and answers our prayers.  In closing there is a need to keep ourselves thankful to God for all that he brings about.  When God wrote a "to do" list, the Son came to earth and fulfilled that list by giving his life for yours.  Jesus' resurrection was the crossing (no pun intended) off that item from the "to do" list. 

A sense of accomplishment

Sometimes I find myself sitting down and proclaiming, "Where did the day/week/month/year go?'  It's a rhetorical question as we know that time has passed since the beginning of time.  With all of our gadgets, gizmos and electronic item we keep track of time but after the fact we tend to forget what transpired unless there is a sense of accomplishment.  I really don't know if other people need to have a sense of accomplishment in their lives.  I know that I do.  As I look back over my life and the lives of those intertwined with my life; it's nice to know that there are "markers" which tell the story.  More than anything, a sense of accomplishment emerges from those markers.  The first bicycle I owned, the first car I owned, the first house bought for the first child born...and the list goes on.  I know I have lots of accomplishments both good and bad.  What I ask myself though (especially yesterday) is what has my life produced as an accomplishment for God?  I'm not talking about the ordinary event like eating 3 meals a day or the mundane like taking my medicine.  I'm talking about that sense of accomplishment that has impacted lives (my own included).  Sometimes I begin to drift to what I didn't accomplishment.  Sometimes I concentrate on where I did something but still fell short.  What did I actually accomplishment for God that made a difference in the lives around me?  We were stopped in traffic for a train crossing when my daughter Emmalyne suddenly proclaimed, "Look at her hair!"  A young lady with brilliant blue/purple hair was crossing the street behind our car.  Emmalyne yelled out the window, "I love your hair."  What followed was the focus of this story.  Emmalyne said, "I try to compliment people all the time.  People like to hear good things about themselves.  Most of the time I compliment strangers."  I laughed because I do the same thing.  Complimenting others is a great attribute to carry with you through life.  My sense of accomplishment came through Emmalyne as she had developed a trait from our interaction that made a difference in the world.  Thank you God for that moment in time.  Sometimes high tech has nothing to do with our day to day accomplishments.  Sometimes all you have to do is stick your head out the window and yell something nice to a stranger. 

Enough for the day...

It's been a full week.  I'm happy that it's over and yet sad that it's gone.  The Bible tells us to live one day at a time.  Tomorrow will take care of itself and the future is already written.  So why do I worry or am preoccupied with what tomorrow shall bring?  The easy answer is to say that I was taught to be this way.  The complex answer is that I know how the story ends.  That has me concerned.  I've only once read the last chapter of a book before I reached it.  Ruined the rest of the book!  So, I don't do that anymore.  I imagine some of you do so as well.  Anyway, there I was minding my own business when the Lord beaconed me to read the Bible to the end.  So, I know how the story ends.  I'll be in heaven.  The end goal of my life is to not only go to heaven but to bring others with me.  So, this past week I have worked to attain that goal (bringing others to Jesus, not going to heaven) and feel good about what I've done.  Some weeks are more difficult than others to end the week feeling like you have made a difference.  Then there are the weeks when we are so glad it's over and we've felt like a complete failure.  This past week was good.  Today is good.  I don't know about tomorrow or next week.  Living in the moment was what Jesus meant when he said that we should let tomorrow take care of itself.  God can take care of all time and he can take care of next week.  Some other highlights of last week included my kids telling me they loved me!  I counted my blessings and they live in different parts of the USA.  Thank you for blessing me with your love as well.  Then I spent time out in nature (if picking up dog piles is spending time in nature!) and smelled the great spring air.  Having been skipping along through the week you can guess my surprise when I discovered that I had WEEDS in my flower beds!  I immediately looked up and down my block to see if I could find hints that identified the culprit who planted them there.  I still have weeds.  I'll probably have weeds until Jesus takes me home.  It's like that in my personal life as well.  Except, most of the weeds I have planted there.  No need to look up and down the street to find the guilty party.  I am he.  So, I turn to the Creator to take over the job of removing the weeds.  Some are shallow and others are rooted deep and take time to fully eradicate.  It's a dirty job and someone needs to do it.  The weeding process takes just as long as I delay the task.  Standing in my way is one thing; but to stand in the way of the Lord is quite another.  Why would I do that except to avoid the process.  There are many items in our lives that we don't want God to look at for fear he will discover yet another stash of donuts that have to be eradicated.  And you thought I only stashed chocolate!  So the struggle goes day to day with life.  Some days and weeks I've struggled too much.  Other days and weeks too little.  If there is a happy medium I found it this past week.  I'm thankful for the lessons learned and for the opportunity to share them with others.  Today is the day that the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it. Good advice.  Have a great day and great next week!

It's Friday!

Fridays are great!  I love the end of one thing and the beginning of another.  The end of a week signals the beginning of the weekend.  I'm not sure that everyone would agree with me but that's okay.  Variety is the spice of life.  For most though, the weekend is a signal that rest can come from work.  Then when Saturday morning arrives the "list" comes out!  I don't like the "list".  The list tells me that it's just more work until Monday when I go back to work.  Sounds like what happens with a staycation.  Taking a vacation but staying at home brings out the "list" again!  Often I hear that people are looking forward to going back to work so they can recover from their vacation.  Not exactly what was intended with time off.  So we fill our lives with repeated weekends and repeated vacations.  It wasn't until a number of years ago that I took my first serious vacation away from home.  I left on a Friday (great day to leave for anywhere) and was gone for a whole week.  The best part was no phone.  No phones meant no interruptions.  By the 3rd day I was going through withdrawal like when I quit drinking coffee!  Then I was in my stride and enjoying the rest of the vacation as it should be.  When I came back home I realized that I wasn't feeling well.  I was a little under the weather and felt a cold or flu coming on.  Doing some research I learned that when we step out of a stress environment our adrenaline production drops and we become more vulnerable to sickness.  Stress was keeping me well?  That was kind of hard to believe as my temperature hit 102.  When I went back to work and the stress returned I began feeling better.  I've notices the repeat of this a number of times when I've taken a vacation or even just a weekend away.  So, when Friday comes the stress remains as does the adrenaline in my system unless I am away from my home and work.  I still think Fridays are great and look forward to them even though I am retired.  I also still look forward to vacations and find the planning of them allows the adrenaline rush to slowly go down keeping me guarded against illness.  And yes, the "lists" are there.  Now that I am retired I have all week for my "list" that never seems to end.  Go out and enjoy the weekend with friends and family or even just by yourself.  Don't forget to go to church and worship Jesus.  Have a great day!

My book has been published

My book, "While I Was Yet Sinning" has been published and released for purchase.  The link below will take you where you need to go.  I appreciate any and all support of the book.  It's message is about Jesus and real life living.

 http://bookstore.westbowpress.com/Products/Default.aspx?bookId=SKU-000678650 

Daily struggles are still there!

Waking up this side of the grass is always a good sign.  Should I not wake, I'm in heaven with Jesus.  Today I will try to not overload myself with projects and spend more time listening to God and others.  Sometimes I can't slow my brain down enough to do this.  So, I'll try to let go and just be with God and others.  When I can't do this I like to take my MP3 and let Christian music bring my distraction to a point of focus.  Sometimes this doesn't work.  Sometimes this does work.  At the end of the day I would like to be able to know in my heart and soul that I did my best for Jesus.  Thanks for listening.  God's best to you!