The lessons I choose to learn have been in the "school of hard knocks" category for the most part. It's been a choice I've made since I was a young boy. My obstinate character has brought me much wisdom at the expense of so much. The times I have learned the lessor in an easy manner seemed to be to easy. So, I have went the long way to find something more difficult. Not the wisest moves I've ever made. When I consider the Christian life there seems to be a parallel for people like me and learning the lessons God wants us to learn. Paul found out that some of the lessons God threw his way seemed a lot like the school of hard knocks. So, lessons can be deceiving if we apply the worldly definition into the mix. God says that his lessons are easy and has taken the yoke from us. We've taken it back! I have so much to do that I don't have time to...is a common saying among Christians. Yet, what can be more important than doing what God wants? When we are learning God's lessons there are times when we think they are hard. In God's definition they aren't hard. They simply are. Carrying one's cross, dying to self, and allowing Jesus to live through us are all lessons we need to learn and then live.
In 6th grad one of my teachers caught me staring at the clock. He said, "Mr. Hawley, time passes but will you?" I've never forgotten that! Due to my past I wasn't the easiest person to be around and sometimes still am not easy to be around. I've made many choices that don't reflect God's choices in my life. Often this results in mistakes that turned the easy to hard. It would be apparent that I know the difference between my choices and God's choices and yet I struggle. As I grew up I didn't know love, acceptance and approval. This resulted in my distrust of others input into my life. Projects were better done alone than with others. There was no one there to judge my work and likewise no one around to help when I needed it. When we are alone, we don't have much chance to make a difference for God. My PTSD has only cemented the need to be alone. Being alone I am not triggered as much. When I'm not triggered, I can listen to God and do the task in the manner he intends. My PTSD isn't going away. So, I have the two wolves continually fighting within me. The one whom I feed the most almost always wins. God doesn't fight within me. That part of the world fights within me. It's a lesson I've learned.
From the beginning of Creation God has been asking us to learn lessons from him. He says that his yoke is easy and that he'll even take the burdens from us. He goes on to say that we can have the peace of God that passes understanding. Peace? Yep, peace. We desire it but are so trapped with one foot in the world that we aren't able to recognize, receive and live in peace. Being at peace with one another doesn't mean we are to compromise our faith. Being at peace with one another simply means we are at peace with God. For the world this is impossible but all things are possible with God. Not some things; but all things. It's always your choice.
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