What to do when you can't make amends

     I'm a supporter of making amends where you can and when you won't cause further injury to others.  That's a good thing to do.  Making amends isn't always possible and shouldn't be something to inhibit your Christian walk.  For instance, trying to make amends where the person is deceased isn't going to work.  Sure you could go to the family but you didn't offend against them.  You could still go to the family and admit your transgression but the damage of this confession might cause more damage than good.  Sometimes there are actions we take that are a sin and we walk away instead of stepping up to take responsibility.  For instance, you are parking your car in a crowed parking lot and your bumper "bumps" the car or truck next to you.  There is paint transfer and maybe a small dent.  But you are in a hurry to your appointment so you don't leave a note.  When you come back that car is gone and you can't make it right.  So what do you do?  Go to God and ask for forgiveness.  If you have learned your lesson you won't do that again.  However, there have been times we all have minimized the sin to where we don't count it as sin.  Making amends isn't to be taken lightly.  Don't become someone who justifies their sin with no idea of the consequences for yourself as well as others. 
     "When I was a teenager..." Yep, there are things we all regret having done and injured others.  I have.  That person we made fun of, the stories we told that were more than what actually took place or less than what took place.  Concealing your sin from others through lies and deceit.  Yep, there are lots of things in our past that are not something we can make amends for.  Then there is the BC sins.  Before you met Christ your sins reflected your allegiance to the world.  That atrocity you participated in during "the war" or as a gang member all come around to haunt you. You don't talk about it because you don't want others to think badly of you and your actions/inactions.  Many a 2nd lieutenant in Viet Nam came home with a wound from friendly fire taking them off the battlefield.  "All my secrets will die with me."  Yes, they will and so will mine.  Making amends is sometimes relegated between you and God.  That's a good thing for everyone.  Knowing that we have a God who loves us, died for us and meets us as we confess is unbelievable.  Jesus talked about a brother who will die for his brother.  Maybe your brother did just that?  Did someone die to save your life?  Hard to make amends there as well.  Many take these feelings to their grave all the while feeling like it "was all my fault..."  Don't get caught in that trap.
    Making amends sometimes needs to stay between you and God when injury to others is going to happen.  There are no Scriptures that show we keep our sins to ourselves and for good reason.  We don't need to carry that burden.  In fact, if you are carrying that burden, then you have no room to carry Christ's burden.  Ours is heavy and his is light.  It's a simple choice.  There were 70000 suicides last year of our military's ranks.  Many couldn't deal with the whole experience and wondered why it wasn't them but others who died.  Many are abandoned and treated as outcasts as they come home from an unpopular war.  Many didn't understand that there was grace that could ease their burden and lighten their load.