Sometimes things happen where people choose to not have you in their lives. You may have done the same thing when you chose to not have so and so in your life. Perhaps the strain of the needs of the other person got to you. Maybe they or you outgrew the other and that's just the way life is. For the Christian the situation is just as prevalent as the non-Christian. We have just as many reasons and excuses why we don't want to have or be a part of a relationship that is not our cup of tea. With sin wreaking havoc in our lives there comes a time when ending the relationship with another is contemplated. I was once asked if I would ever recommend a divorce to a Christian couple. I said I would. When there events that put the spouse and children in danger of harm and the other spouse won't get help; it's time to leave. It's not that God likes divorce as he doesn't. Rather, he favors keeping people safe from harm. When we look at these situations there are some problems that cause us to question our faith or the faith of others. Why would a Christian man/woman think, say and do things that are damaging to another? Why would they think inflicting harm on another was okay? Maybe I did something and deserve this?
Friendships are a similar category. I'm talking mostly among believers but the rules apply to non-believers as well. Relationships take a lot of work, prayer and understanding. Due to the vulnerability factor men have a more difficult task at hand than do women. Men have been conditioned so that they think they need to be okay, in control, above the mess of life. Often this mindset places expectations on other men to be someone they simply are not. This sets us up for disappointment when they cannot be who we expect them to be or we cannot be who they expect us to be. Sometimes things just get too tense, too complex, and people need a break from the relationship. So, they take a break. Or you take a break. In the world we live in it's easy to find another person to have in your life. This makes it easier to leave a relationship behind. In any case, we have friendships that begin and friendships that end. When the reason is innocuous like moving away the friendship remains but is put on pause or the dynamics change. So, what do you and I expect from a Christian friend? Are those criteria consistent with what the Bible says? Are you and I able to put ourselves aside and unselfishly enter into and be there for another person's life?
I don't want people in my life who don't love, accept and approve of me. They don't have to like what I do for a living, read, watch on TV, or what team I cheer for. They just need to, as best as they are able, to love, accept and approve of me as a child of God, a person, someone real. I don't want people in my life who use me and abuse me. Neither do you. There are friends in my life who are not Christian and treat me better than some of my Christian friends. As a male, I have more female friends than male friends. This too can be problematic. Where I once didn't care about that mix, I know that it's dangerous to be close friends with someone of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship. It's no different with our relationship with God. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with us when we are in a relationship with another god. It's not that God doesn't want us to be in relationship with him because he does. He just doesn't and won't put up with our worshipping another god. If you don't feel the closeness of your relationship with God, guess who moved.
It's okay for people to enter and leave relationships where the Bible permits. It's not okay to do this out of selfish motives. When someone tells us what we need to know versus what we want to know; we need to listen instead of run. When it's from God we should want to hear that input. When our relationships are built on and around the principles and morals God has established, we have no need to leave or be left. We should want people in our lives and "not forsake the gathering of the believers." The Christian community shouldn't be fragmented. Yet, when we serve our selfish needs, that's exactly what happens. There are so many churches and denominations out there that a person can easily move from one church to another and take care of that "relationship problem." But, if the relationship problem is yours and God is trying to take care of that problem, running away won't help. In the end we need to choose to be a friend to God as he wants to be a friend with us. He won't leave us drowning in a raging river. What will we do with those who we disagree with? When we think about it we know that relationships take work, compromise and love. There will be people you don't want in your life and there will be people who you don't want to be in their lives. That's just a fact. What you choose to do with God's direction is another thing. Yet, it's still your choice.
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