We recently hosted 2 13 year old Chinese students for 3 weeks in our home. They went to school Monday through Friday from 8:30 till 5:30. The rest of the time they were our boys. We had a lot of great adventures, learned a lot from each other and enjoyed our time with them. While there were some actual costs incurred by us for food and transportation; I'm not talking about the cost in that sense. You probably guessed that by now anyway. I need to back up a bit in the story. When we were first approached with the possibility of hosting my mind went back to my upbringing and the state of the world in the ensuing years. Communist China was always portrayed as an enemy of not just mine but everyone in the free world. Distrust of anyone from China was standard behavior on my part. I had been so educated in the way China was an enemy that I wasn't educated about how human they were/are. The cost was years of lack of appreciation for a people who were in so many ways just like me.
I have 7 children and 2 step children. All but 3 are adults with the youngest being 14. The boys we had in our home were 13 years old. Both of them were the ultimate in polite. I appreciated that trait as so many of our youth don't have the gift of politeness. It hasn't been taught to them like the distrust of anyone Chinese has been taught. Being respected as adults is something that is first nature in the two boys. It wasn't just I who was respected as an adult but all adults around me were similarly respected. On top of politeness and respect there were so many instances where they volunteered to help in any way they could AND without being asked. Can you believe that? When was the last time that happened with your children and there was no ulterior motive? Finally, the boys presented themselves and their families just as they are. There was love of parent and family expressed every day they were with us. How can you put a price on all of this much less the love. The boys were transparent and just who they presented themselves to be. They were real. All this cost me was the time it took to switch gears and have an open mind.
By the way, I am not saying my or your children don't have any or all of these qualities. They most likely have one or many of these traits. The differences between American and Chinese children is great and not in the box I was given as a child. Being American meant we were superior to anyone else in the world. Being American gave us the right to hate all that we didn't represent. Being American cost me many years of not being able to see other nations people for who they were and are. It wasn't until I made my first trip out of country that I began to see that we have different cultures all over the world but 3 years olds everywhere still throw temper tantrums. Parents in public with said children still were embarrassed and sometimes angry just like here in America. Teenagers in Honduras or Germany or England or Spain all listened to their music on various devices. They all tended to try and get out of doing this or that. The struggles of identity were present in all the countries I travelled to or lives amongst. The cost of my experience was negligible in relationship to the rewards of having had the experiences.
The boys have gone back home to China. They called me "dad". They told me they would miss me and I called them "my boys" and told them I would miss them as well. When we said goodbye all of the sorrow of separation was as real as when I leave visiting one of my biological children. The cost of all of this experience is continuing to mount. However, the investment has rolled over my investment so much that I can barely contain the blessing. That's what Jesus said would happen and that is exactly what has happened.
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