I am the greatest of sinners.

     Paul uttered those words.  I uttered those words.  You may have uttered those words.  The bad news is we are in good company.  The good news is that we have a God who is ever ready to offer grace and mercy through the death and resurrection of his Son to anyone who calls upon the name of Jesus to be saved.  That's GREAT news!  The question for the moment is:  "Why do I continue to sin?  Why do I continue to repeat the same sin?"  Okay, that was two questions.  I don't want to set in place excuses, rationalizations or justifications for my sin.  As a lifelong sinner I have already done that.  The truth is we are all sinners and will die sinners.  No one can live a single day without sinning.  Most people just don't seem to be willing to acknowledge either their sin or their need for forgiveness.  I have done that more than I like to remember as well.  Besides hurting my relationship with God, my family, my wife, my friends and even my enemies; I have done so multiple times.  Yet, there is hope.
     God is my hope.  What would I do and who would I be if I didn't have the forgiveness offered by a loving God?  Lost.  Alone.  Hopeless.  These aren't my favorite words.  Yet, when I sin I bring about these feelings and more.  When does the "I'm sorry." begin to fall on deaf ears?  When do we begin to expect failure in others?  How long should God be patient with me?  All these questions are important if w are to seriously consider repentance.  God calls us to repentance.  Not repentance as mankind understands the word; but repentance that ends the sinful behavior.  Mankind thinks and believes that life is just the way things are and we should just enjoy life as we can for as long as we can.  God says that we can have life overflowing with blessings from heaven if we are repentant and choose to follow him instead of the world.  Why do I make this so hard for myself?  Why do I do that which I know I shouldn't do? 
    There are no easy answers other than I must love my sin more than I love God or others.  The reason doesn't justify the ends.  Claiming forgiveness from God may be reality but it's not our bragging rights.  Paul came to the end of himself on the road to Damacus.  Confronted by Jesus Paul became a new man and was changed.  Saul became Paul.  I know that Paul didn't live a perfect life.  We know that no man, except Jesus, is capable of living a perfect life.  In our case there is no other place to be than in Jesus.  For it's when we are in Jesus that we are outside of ourselves.  When we step away from Jesus, we are once again like pigs returning to their mud.  Yes, I am the greatest of sinners.  I'm also the child of God who can ask the Father for forgiveness because of what Jesus did for me. 
     Take heart!  If God can work in and through me, the greatest of sinners, then He can work through you as well.