Packing to move to a new home I'm fully aware that I have way to much stuff! Somehow, somewhere all this stuff came into being. I have boxes that haven't been opened in over 15 years. Hanging onto items isn't the problem for me. Having the boxes out of my vision and stored away in the back of the shop doesn't help me downsize. Once moved I make the promise to go through the boxes and give away the excess for others to use. That's what I've told myself over the last 20 to 30 years. This time things will be different. No, they won't. I'll try to do some of the sorting and not give up on the largess of the boxes to be eliminated.
So this is the way it is with my mind also. So much stuffed in the recesses of my mind that I've lost contact with that stuff. I know there is stuff to be dealt with or I wouldn't even be writing on this topic. Taking things one at a time will aid in the process. It's deciding which one will be looked at first. What is the most important? When I make a list of chores I usually take them as they come and not how they are listed. This allows the randomness of my thinking process to go through the list and deal with them in random fashion. I have so many unfinished lists!
Not being one to just ignore the list, I continue to think about them at the worst possible moment. Like when I'm just about to fall asleep or when I'm about to pray. Sometimes the list seizes me when I'm in the middle of driving. Sometimes they are so intense that I forget what I'm thinking about completely. Having gone into the kitchen for a glass of water seems so far away from where my mind has taken me. Of course, no one else has this happen to them! Why is that? Whenever these moments come upon me I tend to frustrate myself in one way or another. Perhaps I just need to be okay with things being undone.
That might be workable if it were only God and me involved. There are other people that have expectations on me. Spouse, children, grandchildren, friends, enemies, and you can add to the list if you like. At least I don't have "employer" as one of the list. Perhaps the problem isn't the people or entities involved in overloading me. Perhaps it's that old childhood message that many of us have. know the one like, clean your plate, do your chores, stop doing this and begin doing that. Someone who can spur us on to take care of the list. Here we are rebelling in the only way we know how. That would be not doing some items on our list. They are often non-critical in nature but they remain unaddressed none the less.
It would be nice to have no list. Then again, what would I do with my time? How would this help my relationship with others who also have their lists? Not wanting to be the odd man out, I'll probably keep my lists. Maybe I can offer grace to myself for the undone. That would be great if my choices didn't impact someone involved in my life. "I forgot." isn't taken well by someone expecting me to contribute my part. With some items I might as well begin with "I forgot." and release that item before I even try.
It's nice to finally see a list finished. That sense of accomplishment reaches the depth of our being and for 10 seconds life is grand! Then reality of the other 10 lists with multiple items invades our accomplishment and makes it look like we have done nothing. Grace given yet again? Jesus said that we have only 2 items on our list. The first is to love God and the second is to love everyone else. Pretty simple when written down. Quite another thing to actually just have those 2 in our everyday life. Yet, we should at least acknowledge God for having only 2 items for us. If we just attend to his 2 items our life will be more fulfilled than if we work on the 20 items on our list.
Just for today I'll try to keep only 2 items on the list. Yes, tomorrow should start with only 2 items as well. I'll keep you posted.
No comments:
Post a Comment