Being absent isn't always bad...

     I will not be posting a new blog for several days while I await the powers who be determine what date and time they can grant me their presence to hook up my computer.  Sent from the Public Library today.  Live well.

It's one of those days...moving day!

     There are not enough words to tell you how much I dislike (even hate) moving.  While it's nice to begin a new chapter of my life, it's also the hardest transition that has taken place in my life for quite a while.  AND where did all this stuff come from?  Why is it in my house?  I am so shocked with all the "stuff" we have.  Way more than we need for sure.  That's why the moving won't stop.  When we unpack I'll be setting aside much to donate.  Just as well be another place where the items can be used.  Back to the quandary. I've moved many times in my adult life.  What is a few more moves?
    My first move was in the middle of third grade.  We left a one room school that housed 8 grades.  I had two girls in my class.  Yes, this is the truth.  We walked a quarter of a mile to the old country school house.  Our teacher taught all 8 grades.  We left that world and entered the world of public school.  In the middle of the school year...did I mention that.  The next time I would move would be when I left for college.  That didn't catch my desires and I moved on to time in the US Army.  From there I've lived in quite a few places; each one building on the book of life that is still being written.  Some would say my life has been anything but normal.  I would agree.
     If I ever see a box again, it will be too soon.  There are so many!  It would be very easy to let all of this overwhelm me.  Then I would have an excuse for my aching body.  I am so sore!  There are muscles hurting that I didn't know I even had.  They will heal and I'll have more than enough exercise that the doctor wants me to have.  Just the worlds evolution over the years have changed our lives in ways we never thought possible.  The fact that I'm writing this and in moments the post will be out in the public wherever God takes it is incredible.  Modern innovations continue to baffle me.
     Focus has a lot to do with a move made in a good manner.  It's different for different situations.  Making a change in my life to have better exercise has increased.  Taking in the fast food to get us through the moves has taken me a step back.  My mental focus is also affected.  We tend to "do the job" and just get it done. However, there are many emotional ties being broken, goodbyes said to neighbors and that wonderful view of the water when we came down our street to home.  Home is changing as well.  We are focusing on making the house we bought our home.  It's a good thing.  Both focus and carry through are not enough to make up for the tired aching muscles.
     Lastly, this comes into the light of grace.  I've already apologized for breaking stuff.  I haven't broken anything but I thought I would cover bases ahead of time.  Anyone who wants to be angry at me are now quieted with my apology.  That doesn't mean I won't break something.  Probably the one thing important in someone else's life.  I need to remember to exercise grace to myself as well as those around me.  Even those in the background deserve grace especially today.  Okay, probably tomorrow and the next day as well.  Might just as well give grace all year round.  That's what Jesus is doing and has done for me.  Have a great day!

Having a sanctuary or how did you get in my head!?

     How many times have you found yourself singing some ditty from the way back machine and simply cannot get it out of your head.  Then, if you are nice, you pass on the ditty to other unsuspecting people by simply humming the ditty.  Soon everyone is cursing the noise you make and everyone is irritated they can't get rid of the "gift".  We all need to have some place where we can go and truly feel safe from all intrusions.  You with multiple small children should especially have a place where you can be alone.  Been there and done that. 
     Having a sanctuary doesn't mean you are fleeing from something.  Sometimes it's a simple need to get alone and refocus.  Maybe 5 minutes or less.  Other times and situations take us away from whatever it is over a longer period of time.  Back in the early 60's there were some people who simply disappeared only to resurface years later with a new identity and a new life.  This was their way of dealing with life.  They ran away.  Not the best choice.  Desperation drives a lot of the choices we make during our day, month, and years. 
     I cheat.  Not like you might be thinking.  I'm not cheating the IRS or fleeing the law.  I cheat by choosing my sanctuary through a really simple model.  When I am needing some time in my sanctuary I will choose a task/job where I can go and no one will bother me.  Like pulling weeds in my garden or among my landscaping.  No one wants to join me in pulling weeds and just like that I have a sanctuary as well as get the weeds pulled.  Another way I pull off some sanctuary time is my deep and immediate need to visit the local hardware and mega store.  Again, most people don't want to go there so I am left to do as I wish. 
     Different needs come along for men and women alike to get away and find whatever peace there may be in the midst the storm.  Jesus asleep on the boat was rudely awakened by his followers who were chastising him for his lack of concern over their safety.  He told the sea to be still and went back to his sanctuary.  The difference was one had no faith and the other had all faith.  I know you aren't God just as I'm not God. When others can't understand you, God does.  When situations come up where you can't seem to find the answer; God does. 
     The sanctuary you and I need most is time with Jesus.  I'm sure that some of you will simply stop reading right about now because I haven't given the answer that you wanted.  Here we go again!  Needs and wants!  We want to have life easy with no need of decisions or actions on our part.  We want others to do what they need to do so that part of our life is taken care of by others.  What we don't embrace is the idea that Jesus can be our sanctuary.  It is He who knows all of our needs.  He said he would take care of them.  He didn't say the same things about our "wants".
     Separating our needs and wants helps us to put a healthy balance on our lives.  This action of separating our needs from our wants help others as well.  When we have a balance the lack of stress and frustration drops significantly.  When we have a balance we have an obligation to our own mental health to let others know that we have boundaries they need to respect.  We just need the guts to speak and wisdom of what to speak.  Remember we are helping others as well as ourselves to have less stress and a more balanced life in Jesus.
     So, when you go through the day, take it easy.  Remember to breathe and to blink your eyes.  That's how we know you are not dead!  God needs you to take sanctuary breaks so he can speak with you. Let Him!

Wants and needs part 2.

     We have wants.  Many wants or few wants the same motive creates them all.  Our desire to have and keep whatever it is drives our inner most desires.  So, we pray for the gas in the tank to last until the next gas station.  We pray for our kids, family and others that they don't ruin this or that family gathering.  We want our world to be "right" and will go to great lengths to display just that to the world.  Heaven help us if our wants reach the level of having at all costs.  Being seen as someone who has their world in order and comfortable being the goal.  After all, what will the neighbors think? 
     We enjoy wants.  We buy our wants from money robbed from Peter to pay Paul.  Some of our wants grow increasingly expensive and stress the budget (if it is there in the first place.) to the point where some have declared bankruptcy.  Perhaps we take out a second on our home or sell of that collection of stuff acquired from your grandparents before they passed away.  It doesn't make any sense, so we need to rationalize our decision.  We may even bring into the picture people who are close to us.  If we gain their agreement we don't feel so bad about selling.  We just don't tell the truth about what we intend to do or have to do with the money.  We lie.  Not just to ourselves but to those around us.
     We demand wants.  Or at least the government and the various agencies of the government demand their wants.  If they aren't voluntarily given, they are taken in any way they deem necessary.  In turn, we do the same to those around us.  Maybe not so obvious as the government but with the same motivation.  We demand our wants and don't really care because we have already gone through the steps it takes to numb the conscience.  Without a morals and ethical behavior alive and well in us, we all run amok.  We don't like demands put upon us and will avoid them whenever we can.  We by now have brought ourselves and those attached to a point where we cannot see the way out.
     We deny wants.  From the smallest of things to the greatest of things, we deny others their wants and sometimes their needs.  We tell our children that we are unable to take a vacation because of the car needing to be fixed.  Thus we can justify using the vacation money on something we want.  The car doesn't get fixed.  We tell our friends that we cannot socialize with them because we cannot afford a babysitter.  We have already spent that money and need the money to pay for dinner out that night with them. 
     We crash and burn.  Our demanding our wants be fulfilled is a multilayer juggling act.  When the act has worn out the person juggling, the load becomes too much and all of the items being juggled fall to the ground.  The car is repossessed, the power or water is shut off because payday is several days off.  The fridge and pantry are empty except for a couple of items no one likes.  Yet, we don't give it up.  This is close to the bottom for most people.  Going to someone or some entity for help is so embarrassing that we don't get the help we need.  Perhaps we even spend the kids savings that grandma and grandpa have been putting away for them for years. 
     Where are you today?  What have you been telling yourself?  What will it take to push the restart button?  You see, your "wants" have driven you into the ground.  You have become a different person than who you were created to be.  You have lost faith and even doubted there might be a way out.  It's here then that we can push the restart button by coming to Jesus with honest appraisal of our situation.  He can also be the instrument that brings you back to the flock.  They would always forgive you even if you didn't forgive yourself.  The "want" lesson is now something in the past.  Do you go back and pick up the "want" virus?  Do you leave the "wants" alone and concentrate on the needs?  The decision is always yours.

Wants versus needs.

     I want chocolate but I need a carrot.  No, not a carrot cake.  A real carrot.  Have you ever wondered what it would be like to actually grab the carrot dangling in front of you?  You know, the one that represents our selfish desires and not our wants.  I want my family to be happy AND I need them to be happy.  Opps!  Sometimes it's okay to want and need.  The supreme test of our wants and needs is found in our motive for either.  Why do I want and why I need are powerful desires drawing us in whatever direction we give into.  Choosing our want and need becomes a powerful force within us and should be when our motive is Godly.  I want and need Jesus to be my Savior.  Everyone should want and need Jesus as their Savior as well.
     Where do we go wrong?  How has this experience directed and powered out lives? Can we ever get back to the basics?  Ah, the basics.  I, at least, have gone to great ends in order to have the most confusing choices.  The basics should run our lives and not ruin our lives.  For instance is there anything better than peace?  I mean that inner peace that envelopes every part of our life.  This peace of God that passes all understanding is the best it can get!  What will it take for us to get back to this basic?  Maybe the basics were not given to you?  Perhaps the definition of "basics" just doesn't make sense to you.  If that is true; try on this basic: I need to be able to breathe.  I want to be able to breathe.  The basic premise is our ability to live physically.  We can add in our want and need for water and food.  Clothing is optional.  So are haircuts and makeup.  We need sleep and want to get good nights sleep in order to be recharged.
     I'm out of coffee this morning.  Because it's a want I'll find a way later to get my wanted caffeine fix.  If I don't get coffee I'll develop a headache from caffeine withdrawal.  Don't want that but maybe need that in order to see what is primary or basic in my life.  There are millions of people that don't have the option of coffee or not.  Much less with designer drinks and their additives.  Yet, I'll make a stop on the way to an appointment for a cup of coffee.  I drink mine black.  To what extent will I go to obtain a cup of coffee?  Okay, I won't steal or lie to get a cup of coffee.  I could stop by a tire store where they have free coffee in the waiting room.  It doesn't matter that it's looking and smelling like it's 3 days old! 
    I've been hungry before and have had to go to great lengths in order to get food.  I've gone to the local food banks, even begged a passerby for change for a burger.  I think what bothers me most  is my focus on myself.  There are so many people that would gladly have the food I throw away.  Being so consumed by my want and perceived need, I stop thinking about others and miss opportunity to meet the needs (at least) of others.  Yes, I'm important too.  Yes, I have needs as well as others.  No, I don't need so badly that I cannot take care of those who depend upon me. 
     The bottom line is "wants and needs" are what drive us to God or to self.  There are no other directions we can go.  We are either servants of the most high God who cares for our every need or we are not.  Regardless of where I find myself I have the choices before me all the time.  If I begin the day focusing on me and my wants and needs; I miss the opportunity to see the world from God's view.  He knows what I need and he knows what I want.  He wants and needs me to be his representative to the world.  I need to obey Him.  God bless you and those around you today and everyday.

Don't let them rain on your parade part 2.

     When we left off yesterday our hero's Rocky, the flying squirrel, ad Bullwinkle, the moose, were busy trying to keep an evil plan by Boris and Natasha, the bad guys, from destroying all that is and will be good.  Let's join our hero's valiant fight! 
     It would be wise of us to assess the need for the parade in the first place.  Why have a parade when someone or someones actions will be to douse the fire with a bucket of water.  Just why do we have a fire in our parade in the first place?  Good question!  My parade is mine and mine alone.  I pick the music, the various individuals, the theme and the Grand Marshall.  Just where that fine line is between sharing my parade and imposing my parade varies.  For some, I'm not forward enough and for others I'm to forward and intrusive into others lives.  If we could abandon the parade we would stagnate and die.  If we try to move the parade on by sheer force; the opposition will only be stronger.  The tug of war would produce nothing but exhausted people!  Everyone is entitled to their own parade.  Everyone has the choice to be a part of my parade or even your parade.
     The world seeks to impose their parade on everyone.  Some follow and some rebel.  I'm from the later group.  I used to be an advocate but now am ready for combat should it come to that.  So, what happened to bring me to a place of change?  It's what NOT happened that I want to share.  Everything that "I" tried failed.  There may have been temporary successes but there were more failures.  Even the successes eventually failed.  Being the individual I am (stubborn), I sought the parade that most resembled what I believed.  Even that failed!  So, what was I to do?  Throw up my hands and do nothing?  Yep.
     When we come to a bridge over a canyon we have two choices if we want to get to the other side.  We can drive across the bridge or walk down into the canyon and climb up the other side.  The one resembles the surrender to the better way while the other is the stance of "no one can tell me what to do!"  Yes, I did go through the hard lesson way.  No, it didn't work for me.  Neither did the next canyon or the next canyon and on and on.  People were stopping and getting out of the parade as well and leaving on another parade.  The more the abandonment the less I trusted others.  Finally the day came when I was the only one in my parade.  Those around me were also without people in their parade.  What to do?! 
     No, a flying squirrel and a moose cannot fix this.  But then, neither could I fix anything.  The wheels even had fallen off my clown car!  Admitting I couldn't handle the parade myself was a very difficult thing for me to do.  Looking at my life and what it had become I knew something had to give.  In order for the parade to start back up there needed to be someone who knew the way to the station.  My choices were limited.  I could be stubborn and miss the parade or I could be selfish and take the offer of free help of a new Grand Marshal.  That was what I did.  My Grand Marshal is so good at what he does that I very seldom try to run the show myself.  It's become better over the years and many have joined the parade because of what He does.
     The only way to not let rain on the parade is to not own the parade in the first place.  The only move to make was to no move at all.  It's then that the relaxing and comfort feeling enter in.  It's my hope that I can share Jesus in a new way to someone who is having problems with their parade. 

Don't let them rain on your parade (part 1).

     What parade?  Why wasn't I invited?  The parade is your life and often things come up that we don't see coming.  We are so focused on our parade that we fail to see things coming that will have the makeup to rain on us.  Sometimes the parade and the rain take a different direction and we end up playing catch up with those directions.  I confess that I neither like others directing my parade or sending the rain to put out any fire that may have been burning.  This phenomena isn't just a passing event.  Layer after layer of circumstances usually support the building that the parade becomes.  I know I am mixing examples and ask for a bit of leeway with this topic(s).
     A long time ago on a distant planet I had the opportunity to be integrated with my parade and all those marching in it.  Choices that they and I made caused our parades to take different streets.  Within that journey each parade entered their own building which was multi storied.  The height of the building dictates how tall the parade building is.  Mine, for example, has many stories and reaches to the sky.  Not a good thing even if I could cash in on the square foot rental.  Each day brings events from different floors (often fires). 
     My job is to turn over the building and all it's events or fires to Jesus.  He is the landlord of the building when I step out of the way.  Some floors have multiple tenants lie family, friends, co-workers, and even a floor for enemies.  Sometimes two floors for enemies.  Because I can barely manage the floor corner office with no view that I'm in, Jesus' job is sometimes very difficult to complete.  There is no fire escape from my office.  I can't jump from the building and run away.  Neither can I expect Jesus to remove me from that building to become owner of a new building. 
     I get so tired of walking up and down stairs to put out the fires that threaten the whole building and its occupants.  One day I looked out the window and my building appeared to be moving.  I went outside and found out that my building was actually mounted on a merry-go-round!  So were the buildings of my friends, family and enemies.  There was no switch or button to push to stop the merry-go-round so I could get off the ride.  So, there I was on my parade where it was raining and there was no means leave the parade.  Hmmmm.....
     That was when I discovered the truth that was shrouded in the whole structure.  The parade, occupants, the building and the merry-go-round had only the power I gave to them.  The more power I gave the more they wanted.  Until there came a time where I was given a choice.  I was given the option to get off the parade, out of the rain, and  away from the merry-go-round.  I didn't like the choice and balked at making that choice.   I could live dead in the water or I could live on the shore.  The cost of the choice was my life.  I could either give over my life to Jesus and die to live with him or I could live in my troublesome world with no way of escape. The second option wasn't a choice at all.  The first would change or maybe even kill the world I had been constructing with the help of others. 
     What choice would you make?
     Part 2 will be here tomorrow!

Justice is over rated...thank God!

     I went to court yesterday to be at the sentencing of the man who committed hit and run on us.  The crime caused both of us injuries.  The judge put a lot of consequences on him as it is her job.  He, to his credit, pled guilty avoiding a trial for all of us.  His attorney was incredibly unbelievable.  There is so much theatrics in court and he didn't miss a beat on defense (or making excuses for his client).  Our justice system is not justice as we would expect it to be.  I thought and asked for forgiveness from God for my own desire for real justice.  When he was asked if he wanted to say anything the first words out of his mouth were "If I have hurt you..."  There was no "If" in what happened then or now.  When people are defensive (and I should know) there is denial and anger.  That's what I felt from him.
     "You know that forgiveness has happened when what your remember no longer bothers you."  I penned that thought almost 30 years ago while working through my issues with a therapist.  So, what happens to us in the meantime?  For beginners, we forget that we are a fallen humanity.  We forget collectively as well as personally.  We forget the daily failings and maybe even take the time to justify our actions and inactions.  There is another effect on us.  We don't remember our actions while at the same time holding others inactions and actions to the strictest model we can think of.  In the process, we lose a part of ourselves in the equation.  We step away from God's servant and become god of our world.
     It's real and it affects you and I.  One more dilemma surfaces during this time when we are playing god.  We forget how fallen we are.  We set both standards in our world.  Strict towards others and with our idea of what punishment we should levy on them.  While at the same time we cheapen grace by not accepting responsibility for our sin.  This is and can't be good for anyone.  When we are living a hypocritical life there is no justice.  I'm guilty.  How about you and I look at the real problem and stop the game?
     The real problem in my world is me.  Should God have wanted to serve me with the justice I deserve, I would be dead.  Many times over!  We've become self serving with the grace that has been granted to us.  Where God "remembers our sin no more." we remember the minute sins of others and desire judgment on them.  Please don't let the lightening strike hit me when he strikes them.  Aren't we something!  I am guilty and do desire the grace of God.  But, do I desire grace as He gives it or grace as my enemy desires? 
     It's important that we face this issue as Christian and non.  Should there be more grace and less judgment, we would become more a vessel for his use.  If we stopped being hypocritical we could become more of the servant God wants us to be.  If we became more available to help others instead of hurt, our world would be more peaceful.  When peace enters into our life and we embrace peace, peace will overflow onto the lives of others.  In the end, we could actually live for God and not me.  I'm reminded that there is no "I" in team.  We are Christian and are not alone.  When you are thinking about justice for others; give peace instead.

Various thoughts for the day.

     I am thankful there were no terrorist incidents near me or throughout the United States.  I'm sure there were small events but none like 9/11 so long ago.  Knowing that the attack on 9/11 was meant to kill and destroy Americans showed our vulnerability as well as our backbone.  We didn't go away and haven't gone away.  The conflicts in the world haven't decreased but have increased.  The Muslim world has declared war on everyone in the world.  Yet, so many countries are asleep and doing nothing.  This is a huge problem in our world.  Yet, one truth remains.
     I belong to Jesus and will spend eternity in heaven.
     My dog, Henry, has discovered that the maple tree in our back yard drops those helicopter like seeds.  He mistakes them for something else (maybe a squirrel) and has taken to barking at the tree.  This has been my first real experience of a dog barking up the wrong tree!  He and Buddy are nervous about our upcoming move to another house.  They are insecure but cannot see the larger picture.  While we (humans) have the ability to look down the road we sense there is something going on but cannot see the threat clearly.  Yet, one truth remains.
     I belong to Jesus and will spend eternity in heaven.
     My kids either have already engaged the world or are going to do so in the near future.  For those who have already joined the adult world there is a mixture of apprehension, excitement and some fear mixed in.  As a dad I have tried to help them move into a healthy place and to have their kids do the same.  We can warn all we want but the picture won't change.  There are going to be trials and troubles in their lives as well as their families.  The younger kids are growing up to fast and with too little time as kids.  They too will face the harsh realities of life even as they discover the good stuff.  There is good stuff and we need to remember to focus on this as well.  Yet, one truth remains.
     I belong to Jesus and will spend eternity in heaven.
     Our country isn't awake.  Some in the country are but the vast majority are not awake.  While this is to be expected as history unfolds, I still don't like it.  We are taught to trust those who have chosen to betray the expectations of the offices they hold.  When that trust is broken and or goes away, what are we to rely upon?  Our president and the politicians are to have the best interests of the country in mind when making decisions.  They don't.  When the erosion of the good of the people begins there is no turning back.  As a Christian I know the end of the story having read the Book.  So why do I still want life to go on?  Because there are so many who do not know Jesus.  Yet one truth remains.
     I belong to Jesus and will spend eternity in heaven.
     There are wars and rumor of wars.  Children have been turned against their parents.  There is no part of the world not afflicted with hate and vile behavior.  We are living as a deceived people.  We want so hard to believe the fairy tale will end with a rescue of the afflicted and we all live happily ever after.  It's difficult to find a hero for our causes.  Without a hero there will be no happy ending.  Yet one truth remains.
     I belong to Jesus and will spend eternity in heaven.
     Will you?

What to do when good happens.

     Sometimes, when we least expect it, good happens.  We aren't taught how to recognize or even deal with the good things of life.  What we are taught is Murphy's Law and similar lessons of life.  Often we feel like we are moving from one negative situation into another negative situation.  There seem to be no exit ramps from this freeway.  So, when do we slow down, look life in the eye and say "not today."  Not this hour or minute.  No.  If we are raised in such a way that the good in life is not noticed or appreciated; we have little choice but to focus on those things that go wrong.  There are things we can think, say and do that break this stranglehold on us. 
     There is a part of us that is fatalistic in thinking.  We almost need to bring on the wrong so that we are feeling included with the world or at least a minor player.  Our thinking is only part of what keeps us where we are.  This thinking gets even worse if we keep it inside where our mind can dwell on the negative day and night.  Often this thinking even contributes to our dreams or nightmares.  I hope that I'm not the only one who has these bad dreams and nightmares.  That would signify a very real problem in my life.  But, by this we can further understand the deep rooted problem of thinking of the wrong can be.  Let's set "fatalistic thinking." on the back burner for a bit.
     Another part of the puzzle is our inheritance.  I don't mean our inheritance of money or possessions.  They can be a source of why we have wrong thinking but doesn't answer the question fully.  We (all of us) are fairly certain that "wrong" happens to us by our own thinking as well as the thinking of others.  For instance, if we are told that we are stupid, lazy, crazy or any combination of these long enough, we will believe it.  We don't have to continue the trend but often do to some degree or another.  There is the story of a young girl and her mother in the kitchen on Sunday at noon.  The mother has taken the roast from the refrigerator and has just cut off the ends of the roast.  The young girl asks her mother why she does that.  The mother tells her that she learned that from her mother.  The young girl leaves the kitchen with the answer and the mother is left to her thinking.  Her own mother is yet alive and well.  So, she calls her mother and receives the same answer she has just given to her daughter.  So, she calls her grandmother.  When asked the question of why there is loud laughing on the other end of the phone.  When the laughter dies down grandmother says, "I cut off the ends of the roast because the oven was too small!."
     Besides the fatalistic thinking and inherited thinking, there is emotional thinking.  In the moment we have any number of emotions that try to insert thoughts that are not good.  There are thoughts of getting even, quitting, and so many more.  I don't know what your emotional thinking is like.  Part of me still is looking for those signs that say people will fail me so don't count on them.  Whether I've had too picking or not picky enough thinking there seems to be a connection to my emotional well being.  Emotional thinking stops us dead in our tracks whether it is good or wrong thinking.  It seems like a wall goes up when we enter into emotional thinking.  Once angry we stop.  When we are sad, we stop.  When we are lonely we stop thinking.  Somehow emotional thinking keeps us from moving forward.  We even seem unable to find the why question to answer. 
     The Bible is full of right thinking, positive thinking and hopeful thinking.  There are always more thoughts attached to the positive.  The most important is our hope.  When we have hope the negative tend to fall away.  So much so that we continue our forward movement in spite of when things go wrong.  There are few books that advocate a happy or positive outlook.  They are there though.  We just don't go there until after the conclusion of the event.  Sometimes we look for the answer and cannot find one that fits our situation.  We are not just the result of our consequences.  But, that's the way wrong thinking keeps us prisoner.  When we look to the Bible we see how positive and negative consequences work to form our character.  God always wants the best for us, thinks the best about us and encourages us to be the best we can be.  Mankind usually does not.
     What is going to be the legacy of our life?  Years down the road what are people going to say about Steve and how he lived his life?  Will they see right and hope?  I hope so.  It's my desire to leave a positive legacy.  I don't want to be that grudge living until dying person.  Nor do I want to be remembered as the person you didn't want to visit.  Perhaps I want to be remembered by the positive, right and good that happens in others lives.  Perhaps you do to.  The first step is also the last.  Rely on God to transform your life individually.  The rest will follow.  As your life is transformed the lives of those around will also be transformed.  When the first domino is tipped they all fall.  You don't need a plan other than God's plan.  The first step is to love God.  Can you do that?  I know you can.  Will you do that?  I pray that your answer is, "Yes!"

Contradictions will be.

     We are contradictions with the presentations we give every day of our lives.  It's not that we start the day declaring that we are going to be a contradiction.  In fact for the most part we won't even be aware of the contradiction until after the fact.  Some of the contradictions will not even be noted as they fly below the radar.  We need to acknowledge that others may spot the contradiction before we have knowledge of our behavior being just that.  As we approach this area of our lives we are daily reminded that no one is perfect and no one is immune to living a life with contradictions.
     We give names to that which we do.  We call others "two faced," "fake," and many other such labels.  Oh, that's right, we aren't supposed to label others.  Labeling has been around since the beginning of time.  Peewee Herman said it best; "I know you are but what am I?"  We have a much easier time labelling others than we do in acknowledging the truth about ourselves.  Deflecting the negative by being on the offensive is a game rule that we learn throughout our lives.  The deeper the hole we are in, the more we deflect.  Not exactly an appropriate way to live life.  We are contradictions though so what else should we expect?
     This is the central issue with our living amongst others.  We are competitive with others where we need not be.  In fact, competitiveness should not be with anyone else.  We can be competitive with ourselves and that's okay if it's done in a positive manner.  In this world of denial, excusing, and blaming, we just dig our hole deeper when we don't change.  We argue that she/he is worse than I am in order to see ourselves better and thus acceptable.  When our blaming (labelling) is high, we are most certainly hiding more of our life.  One crucial element is missing for many and elusive to many more.  Very few have a mirror to accurately reflect our lives in such a manner that we are able to acknowledge and address that which is in contradiction within our beliefs. 
     There are many books "out there" that extolls the greatness that we are.  We needn't continue this past time of telling ourselves how good we are.  The world we live in seems to feed that desire very well on its own.  So, what's the problem and what's the solution?  The problem is we are so focused on ourselves that we are unable or unwilling to stop focusing on other people and their bigger problems.  "Compared to so and so, I'm doing great."  Hence we should be about the business of fixing that other person.  The solution is both simple in concept and difficult in nature.  Here it is:  God.
     God is the answer in more ways than we can count.  However, today we will look only as far as he is involved in our lives.  Today we will focus on how much we ARE NOT like Jesus and understand the problem that we are to our world.  "In His Steps" by Sheldon takes this very task to heart in his characters in the book.  The questions is begged for us to ask ourselves in every particular part of life; "What would Jesus do." After we see that which he would do; we are asked to do it.  No blaming, no deflecting, not anything but Jesus.  Not just in our lives but in the lives of those connected to us.  Should we take action on doing what Jesus wants we won't have time or the energy to be examining the lives and motives of others. 
     I've had many people over the years tell me that this or that is wrong in my life.  Sometimes they were right.  At other times they were not willing to examine themselves.  Today, God is asking us to just do that one thing; do what Jesus would do, give others the grace God has given us, and remember to confine ourselves to doing what Jesus would do.  Would Jesus say what we say about so and so?  Would Jesus pass by the one in need and do nothing?  Just what would our immediate world look like if we were to just do these simple things?  What would the world think?  If we focus on what would Jesus do; there would be no wondering what the world thinks.
     "Why?"  Why would we not be concerned about what the world thinks.  Because we live for Christ and not for the world.  If we are to trust God with our lives and abandon ourselves to him; we would spend our time confessing and changing into the person of God he intends us to be. 
     God, today, asks us to be more like Jesus and bring Jesus to the world around us.  He asks us to be the only Bible that some people will read.  We are commissioned to be and do what Jesus would be and do with all who are around us.  Christians need to be saved as well as others.  So, go out there today and be Jesus to others.  There is no contradiction in Christ and there should be none with me.

Give it up already!

     Packing to move to a new home I'm fully aware that I have way to much stuff!  Somehow, somewhere all this stuff came into being.  I have boxes that haven't been opened in over 15 years.  Hanging onto items isn't the problem for me.  Having the boxes out of my vision and stored away in the back of the shop doesn't help me downsize.  Once moved I make the promise to go through the boxes and give away the excess for others to use.  That's what I've told myself over the last 20 to 30 years.  This time things will be different.  No, they won't.  I'll try to do some of the sorting and not give up on the largess of the boxes to be eliminated.
     So this is the way it is with my mind also.  So much stuffed in the recesses of my mind that I've lost contact with that stuff.  I know there is stuff to be dealt with or I wouldn't even be writing on this topic.  Taking things one at a time will aid in the process.  It's deciding which one will be looked at first.  What is the most important?  When I make a list of chores I usually take them as they come and not how they are listed.  This allows the randomness of my thinking process to go through the list and deal with them in random fashion.  I have so many unfinished lists! 
     Not being one to just ignore the list, I continue to think about them at the worst possible moment.  Like when I'm just about to fall asleep or when I'm about to pray.  Sometimes the list seizes me when I'm in the middle of driving.  Sometimes they are so intense that I forget what I'm thinking about completely.  Having gone into the kitchen for a glass of water seems so far away from where my mind has taken me.  Of course, no one else has this happen to them!  Why is that?  Whenever these moments come upon me I tend to frustrate myself in one way or another.  Perhaps I just need to be okay with things being undone.
     That might be workable if it were only God and me involved.  There are other people that have expectations on me.  Spouse, children, grandchildren, friends, enemies, and you can add to the list if you like.  At least I don't have "employer" as one of the list.  Perhaps the problem isn't the people or entities involved in overloading me.  Perhaps it's that old childhood message that many of us have.  know the one like, clean your plate, do your chores, stop doing this and begin doing that.  Someone who can spur us on to take care of the list.  Here we are rebelling in the only way we know how.  That would be not doing some items on our list.  They are often non-critical in nature but they remain unaddressed none the less.
     It would be nice to have no list.  Then again, what would I do with my time?  How would this help my relationship with others who also have their lists?  Not wanting to be the odd man out, I'll probably keep my lists.  Maybe I can offer grace to myself for the undone.  That would be great if my choices didn't impact someone involved in my life.  "I forgot." isn't taken well by someone expecting me to contribute my part.  With some items I might as well begin with "I forgot." and release that item before I even try. 
     It's nice to finally see a list finished.  That sense of accomplishment reaches the depth of our being and for 10 seconds life is grand!  Then reality of the other 10 lists with multiple items invades our accomplishment and makes it look like we have done nothing.  Grace given yet again?  Jesus said that we have only 2 items on our list.  The first is to love God and the second is to love everyone else.  Pretty simple when written down.  Quite another thing to actually just have those 2 in our everyday life.  Yet, we should at least acknowledge God for having only 2 items for us.  If we just attend to his 2 items our life will be more fulfilled than if we work on the 20 items on our list. 
     Just for today I'll try to keep only 2 items on the list.  Yes, tomorrow should start with only 2 items as well.  I'll keep you posted.

Arrested development.

     That is what we call it when someone or something fails to move forward from where they are in terms of both giving and receiving.  Sometimes this arrested development is positive and yet at other times the phrase is not complimentary.  When I think of the phrase the first image that comes to mind is of my feeling like I'm in my mid 30's when I'm 61.  Quite a disparity in ages.  The only part of me that feels my age are my joints.  Mentally I feel like I am in my mid 30's and act or react in like manner.  However, fact triumphs over fiction every time.
     Physically the number of presentations of disability are constant.  When they are at their worst I feel my body is old.  Maybe even worn out.  My list of medications are another indicator of the level of need for drugs to make my body and mind relax as much as possible.  "When I was (insert age) 20, I was in the best shape of my life."  Have you said that?   I have and think this more than admit it to my world.  "Act your age!" is another statement that needs attention.  Just what am I doing or not doing that is age related?  Jesus told us to have faith like that of little children.  Can I have that faith and yet not grow up?  So, I take my pain medicine and try to be my age physically the best I can while fighting the inner child that wants to go take a 3 mile hike in the mountains. 
     Emotionally we are all stuck somewhere. in la la land.  Try as we might there are parts of our emotional makeup that causes us to be stuck.  It's not like we w ant to be stuck.  It's more of an area of our lives where we haven't said "hello" or "goodbye" to.  Childhood trauma links us to the past just as much as being spoiled.  Most parents don't have a blueprint on constructing a balanced child who grows into a balanced adult.  There are parallel lines going on in our life at any one time.  We may have age 3 going into a board meeting at 30.  We may have old age forcing us to act and be old with others.  There are also times when we have to "man up" when we really don't want too.  To say thee are differences between man and woman emotionally is the greatest understatement ever!  In other areas of our lives we may not have such a strong reaction.  However, emotionally we are reminded through any number of events that we are either underdeveloped or overdeveloped and how it affect our relationships.
     Intelligence is our third area where we treat age in any of a various ways.  Intelligence is defined differently by our current age of development.  We may be young with an old person living inside as well as old but with a young person directing our lives.  In both cases we can get into trouble with others so easily.  With the development (or lack of) of our lives there is also the expectation of others who are "incorrect" in acting their age.  This is a balance point in most peoples lives.  The same could be assigned to our physical and emotional development as well.  At a certain age those around us leave us alone because of our refusal to be what others want. 
     Spiritually, we all have the same blank page when we are just beginning life.  That page is created by those around us.  This is in spite of where they are in their own development.  There are children who lose their childhood while there are others who never seem to leave their childhood.  The Bible tells us to be both a child and an adult.  The faith of a child and the ability to run the good race for the older person are constraining factors.  When we leave childhood many keep intact their reliance on God as they were when they are when an adult. 
     We tend to be attracted to people who have grown to our level of maturity.  Being in love with yourself is probably one of the easiest and hardest tasks we try to accomplish.  We are commanded to love one another.  We are told that the greatest gift from God is love.  Many never move out of childhood and into adulthood.  Our love becomes subjective to where our development.  For many that means not being able to love themselves because of how they see themselves.  Finding someone to be with is often disastrous.  God wants us to be like him while those in the world around us want us to be like them.  Being able to meet the milestones of OUR life is essential for our relationship with God and others. 
     Yes, there are areas where we can and should be child like.  Just thought I would throw in a random thought. 

There is something to be said for leaving things unsaid.

     When to shut up.  That sounds like it should be a class in college or even high school.  Maybe even a life lesson taught to us by our parents who had learned that truth long ago.  In any case, there is a need for all people to understand that the rest of us don't need to learn all of their life's cares and troubles.  But the classes and parental insight don't exist for most of mankind.  It's been said that we should be thought to be fools than to open our mouths and wipe away all doubt.
     There are many reasons why we should guard our mouth.  One would be because we don't know what we are talking about.  There is an "expert" in just about every job on earth.  A man once told me that he didn't need Google because his wife knew everything.  He didn't appear particularly happy!  The early teen years comes to mind of know-it-alls.  Obviously, through their logic adults just don't know, don't understand and (feel the tears) just don't care.  There has to be an app for that!
     "I've been doing this job for 20 years.  I don't need no young fella telling me how to do my job."  Somewhere along the life line we are taught we need to earn our place.  We need to earn the right to say what we say.  That moment will be about the same time you and I are included in "the guys/girls" circle.  Once there we can now speak but we have to wait our turn.  Teaching others what you know doesn't seem to matter until those older and more experienced have run out of their ideas.  Then maybe...
      Sometimes we are so tempted that we hear people say, "You look like you have something to say."  Don't.  You won't be heard.  All that will happen is you have aired what you thought was important.  They didn't hear it.  They were just letting you speak so you would leave the conversation  When they start talking again, the subject will change and what you've said is gone.  "Back in the day, children were seen and not heard."  Yep, you don't count.  Why waste your breath on those who don't hear.
     If you are really bent on having your say; try a few of these tips.  First, ask questions of the speaker.  You may even be asked what you think.  Direct the questions in specific direction so you can have the most valid input into the conversation.  When you ask a pointed question you ARE making a statement.  Perhaps you could begin by saying something that shows you respect them.  Parents and organizations are doing a terrible job of teaching this.  If you want to be respected, give some respect and you will most likely be able to have your say and it be heard.
     Don't waste your breath on those who won't hear.  They don't want to hear any opinion than their own.  "But she's my mom/grandmother/aunt."  "But he's my teacher, uncle, grandpa, husband."  Yes, sometimes it's better to leave it alone.  Don' waste you breath on those who will not hear.  I'd like to suggest that at this point in any relationship there is only one solution.  It's the same one that will work anywhere.  Make them want what you have! 
     Direct the conversation so that the person hearing you comes to the point of, "Tell me what you know!"  Then tell them what you know.  The final lesson today is don't think you and your "stuff" is so important that you don't listen to others.  You (and) are not as important as we think we are.  Until we arrive at this intersection of life, you won't think like this.  Listen to those who are wiser than you.  They have a wealth of knowledge for you...if you would listen.  They are from many different walks of life and have various backgrounds.  What they have in common is that they have learned to listen respectfully and to be interactive when we are recognized.  Doesn't sound like a difficult thing to do.  However, there are folks who have never heard of this lesson. 
     In the end, you may feel like your "stuff" is better off unsaid.  That's great!

A little help from my friends!

     Wish on the one hand and want in the other.  When the Beatles penned this song they put a preface we often don't consider.  The song lyrics go: "I get by with..."  We want the last 6 words without the first 4.  We definitely want a little (if not much) help from our friends.  I'm not talking about painting the house or someone to go out to dinner with.  Nor am I talking about those friends who expect quid pro quo (fair exchange).  I'm talking about friends who are there for you no matter what.  We all have the first type of friends.  We call  them friends but avoid them for all their demands on us and our time.  I'm fairly certain that at times in my life I too exhibited this kind of friendship. 
     We collectively don't want to settle for only "a little help" in this our lives.  Our wish on the one had is for more than.  More than the status quo.  More than society defines.  More than what we can expect.  That's our wish as well.  "Wishing" is also part of this.  We "wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight."  But, we don't really believe that.  We can't afford to because if we do we have unattainable expectations on others.  We expect the easy way out.  "I wish I weighed 200 pounds."  See, we do it more than we think.  Wishes are not realistic.  They are the fantasy we try to live out.  So, we settle with getting by with a little help from our friends.
     Want, on the other hand, feeds our disappointment in life.  The Bible says we want but do not get because we do so to get for ourselves.  For want of more, we lost that which we have.  Where wish is more fairy tale like, want is more of a demand.  We hear about peoples wants every day.  "Wanting" is so common that we mistake the want for a need.  However, there is a very huge difference.  Wants goes along as a more intense meaning than wishes.  Wants say, the object of my attention will be mine.  You must give it to me or I will take it from you.  Wants are the object of our prayers as well.  What?! We want God and people to give us our wants. 
     Wishing won't help it be true and want won't make it true.  They seem to work sometimes.  Perhaps it's out of desperation on the part of the asker that brings up this feeling?  Maybe this began as a wish and became a want when we became more desperate?   Whatever happened, we did not get our results.  What we received was not even close to repairing that rip in our life.  When wish has gone by the wayside and want seems to be unattainable, we come to that place where desperation begins to die and realistic life emerges.  It is here that we really understand we get by with a little help from our friends.
     God, like our friends, want the best for us.  That's where the similarity ends.  Our friends do not need for us to do anything but be available to them when crisis comes their way.  God the best for us all the time.  God is wiser than we are and is able to discern what is a "want" and what is a "need".  It's our needs that we should focus upon.  It's our friends and loved ones "need" that should drive us.  We cannot and should not try to be God to our friends.  We have the tendency to say things which are simply not true.  Statements like, "I know you need to..." or "You really ought to..." are most often imagined answers to unknown questions. 
     The best help I can be to a friend is to listen.  I can't "make" anything happen.  Nor can I think for my friend.  I can pray for them.  They can pray for me.  I cannot make promises and neither can they.  We become numb with unanswered prayers of vain repetitions and unrealistic expectations.  So, today sit back, listen and have another cup of coffee.  That's all you really need to do to give a little help to your friends.

No post today...

     I'm sorry but I don't have the time today between working on moving issues and  an important event planned for just a bit from now.  I'll be back tomorrow and promise it will be worth it.
Thanks,
Steve

It's such a small thing to ask.

     Have you ever stopped yourself from asking because you thought it was petty or not worth the bother?  Has pride or embarrassment stopped your asking for the small things in life?  Then you are in good company.  Been there and done that over and over.  Just why do we do this?  Part of that answer is in how we were raised.  Not just in the messages given to us, but also the messages implied.  For instance, you never ask someone who is angry.  You also don't ask someone who doesn't have the ability to give.
     Part of our problem is the size of the request.  The smaller the request, the less likely we will ask.  The type of the request is also important.  The more embarrassing the request the less likely we will ask.  Bottom like is we base our asking on the faith we have.  Not just faith in the one being asked but our faith in God.  We might do well to ask for guidance in all things small.  Jesus said that we can approach him with ALL our needs and he will hear us.  When we don't ask, we tell God that we don't think he can help.
     There have been so many times I have asked for small things and have received.  You would think that I would have learned that asking for the small thing was not just okay but what a loving God would like to have us do.  There have been many people who have echoed the same story.  I know I am not alone.  Just what is it that hinders this area of our lives?  Why can't we just fully rely on a loving and giving God?
     We seem able to ask for our children, spouse, close friends and family.  We don't have a loss of words for someone else and their need.  Why not?  Do we seem selfish if we are asking for our need?  It would seem that we have faith in God for others.  Why not for you?  Why not for me?  I'd like to suggest that we can believe for others but not for ourselves.  No, that doesn't make sense.  So what is it then that drives our inaction.  Are you like me and sometimes believe that we don't deserve that which we lack? 
     Sometimes we think God doesn't hear us or cannot be bothered with all else that is going on in our lives.  We don't want to think of ourselves as being dependent upon another.  Jesus says we should be as little children.  How have the little children in and around your life asked and received?  We want our children to have a faith in God that includes the small stuff all the while denying ourselves the same from God.  It doesn't make any sense to me.  So, what needs to take place to bring ourselves closer to what God desires for us?
     It's in believing that we have our answer.  We need to believe God wants us to have all of our needs.  Needs, not wants.  We need to believe that God has our best interests at heart.  We need to believe with faith.  Many people believe that because they are sinners they don't or won't receive answers to their prayers.  It's a lie, of course, from Satan.  Here is my suggestion.  First get yourself a notebook.  Second, begin writing down every request you send to God.  Third, write down the date ad time when you are made aware that the prayer request was answered.  Fourth, suggest this to others. Fifth, watch your faith mature and the faith of others to mature.  Sixth, make sure your family or close friends know you are doing this.  They will be waiting to see what God does.  He never disappoints. 
     Well, it's such a small thing.  I suppose I could do it.  Just do it!

Just what is a legacy?

     Some may think the only legacy they will pass on to their family tree is their ethic.  Others may include their accomplishments.  Yet, when we look at leaving a legacy there is vast difference between the Christian and non-Christian.  That difference is also seen in our financial status.  The end message is, just what are you leaving as a memorial to your time on planet earth.  This may be more than you wanted or less than you wanted to pass on.  It may be that you don't want a legacy to be passed on at all.  The legacy is for the future and not the past.  In 10 years down the road (or 15 or 20) what would you like said about your time here on earth?
     He was a good man.  She was a good woman.  Really?  Good at what?  Good with what?  We have this tendency to inflate the worth of the life of the departed.  He was such a good boy.  Yeah, when they weren't busy doing gang related crimes.  She was such a good mother.  You didn't see her drunk every day.  He was such a good father.  Before or after he beat on his wife or children?  They were giving people.  You see, the list goes on and on leaving us to believe whatever others want us to believe. 
     I was in a training session one day learning about intervention with seriously mentally ill people.  The instructor was late (a pet peeve of mine) and when he did arrive shocked me so much that I learned little that day.  He stepped up to the lecturne and said, "You are not nearly as important as you think you are."  What?!  Of course I'm important as I was working with people who were unable to help themselves.  My position as a crisis counselor was essential to the population we served.  Of course I was important!  On the way home alone in my car, I realized the truth of what he had said.  My mind woke up and had a thought.  What would happen if I were killed in an accident on the way home?
     What would my clients do?  They would seek help elsewhere.  What would my wife do?  She would grieve and then most likely remarry.  What would my children do?  They too would go on with life.  Moving on isn't a choice sometimes.  When there is a death things change.  Same with divorce, going to a war zone, or other traumatic event.  My clients would go on and be who they were with what they had.
     So we wrestle with what we leave.  It's not about the bank account, life insurance or even the many possessions we have.  Life can come to an end suddenly.  What would I like my wife, kids, friends to remember me for?  What would you like your wife/husband, kids, and friends to remember about you?  Would they find their lives enriched just because you were a part of their lives?  I would like to leave people in my life remembering all the best and none of the worst.  Yes, that's selfish of me.  I understand that.  We all are selfish in one way or another.  I would like people to remember the good and forget the bad.  Again, my selfishness comes to the surface.
     Here is my answer to our beginning question.  I would like those who interacted with my life to live a full and blessed life.  Their living a full and blessed life is my legacy.  It's what they take with them on a daily basis that creates any legacy at all.  My children living life to the fullest for Jesus would be an incredible legacy!  My friends doing the same would be wonderful.  Moving on with a focus on Jesus is just about as good as it gets.  I say "just about" because that is what I would be doing if I was no longer here on earth.
     Just what is a legacy...for you?

Randomness is awesome!

     Randomness takes very little practice, even less focus and the outcome is usually not what I have expected.  Concrete people are driven crazy by the random guy or gal.  The world is full of events for both categories of people.  My great friend, Steve, texted me last night to let me know a gnat had bitten the dust in his Margarita.  See what I mean!?  My life has been full and overflowing with random moments that somehow translated to some really interesting days.  I know it's hard to believe but I have lots of concrete people in my life as well as random people.  We compliment each other without even knowing it.
     Without awareness at the time, I have passed on the randomness to all of my kids to one degree or another.  They are a creative unpredictable lot.  I love it.  I'm sure that some of you are nodding your head "yes" or "no" right now.  I know.  I know, you love it.  Perhaps you are married to a random person or you have friends who are random.  My wife has so much patience with me and all of my random ways and choices. 
     You go out to see a friend.  On the way you pass a store with fruit on sale.  You stop and buy some with the intention of sharing with your friend.  When you get to their house, you bring up as many of the fruit you think you and your friend will eat.  When they open the door they roll their eyes as you, yet again, have outdone yourself.  Hey, the fruit is great!  So you scrap plans on going to that favorite restaurant and order pizza delivered.  Life is good! 
     Being a random person allows you this privilege of being the one with the vision.  Looking outside work or play you see the possibilities and this often makes you happy.  I'm a concrete person as well but not so much.  I like a clean house and a car full of gas like anyone else (except hoarders).  While others see the random person as dangerous and unpredictable, we do not.  With us you can expect the unexpected to take place.  There was no plan, nothing was talked over and yet you go home with that ugly piece from the garage sale.  There is no end in sight of the pleasures the random person sees as potential.
     Not everyone can be random.  Let's look at one famous person who was and is a random sort of guy.  Jesus was and is random.  Don't believe me?  Look at his choices of disciples!  You can't get more random than this group.  Random?  How about feeding thousands of people with fish and bread for two?  Now who does stuff like this?  Yep, random people do this.  THEN we are told to be like him.  Great news for the random guy or gal.  Predictable behavior is an unknown factor to some extent.  Yet, it's random people who God uses to do the unpredictable.  Though the life of Jesus was foretold in the Old Testament, the means or process of these prophecies are quite random.  Most did not see the means by which the prophecies have been fulfilled. 
     Our lives speed down the road of life when all of a sudden something happens.  You are caught in a situation that demands your attention and action right now!  What do you do?  Someone has told you about Jesus and the need of salvation in your life.  What do you do?  You are asked to believe in the invisible with blind faith.  You are asked to believe in Heaven and Hell as well as eternity.  You are told that you are dead and then made alive.  Yes, God is random with concrete issues. 
     These choices we need to make regarding God require the random thought with the concrete resolve.  You cannot unring the bell.  Once heard you and I are expected to act on new information one way or another.  We can embrace or reject believing in God.  However, once we have heard we have an obligation to make a decision.  There are only two decisions possible.  You can choose Jesus or reject Jesus.  The decision will be delivered in a random sort of way with the answer needing to be concrete.  Believing and receiving Jesus as our Savior is THE single most important decision in your and my life!  Don't hesitate, now is the day of salvation.

What to do?

     So, there I was minding my own business when yet again life happened.  It's a good thing as I do like living.  For many life is way to jammed full of too much stuff.  Stuff like work and work and then more work.  I'm not saying that work is bad because it isn't.  I'm saying that life needs to be more balanced.  We are created to do more than work.  We are also called to do more than sit on our butts and complain.  Specifically, we are not to be caught in the cycle or trap where life isn't worth living anymore.
     At least how we have come to define life.  Back in the 60's a phenomena came about where people checked out of their lives, disappeared and began a new life elsewhere with a new name and occupation.  Many left families and began new families.  Life had become not worth it as they were living.  They took the easy route out.  It would be many years down the road that these people began to emerge from the search.  No, they didn't want to go back to where they had been.  They wanted to be left alone.
     This wasn't like the draft evaders who fled to Canada rather than be dragged kicking and screaming into the military.  What it was is still a force that drives us for more and better.  With so many distractions in life there seems to be no time to work at evading our lives.  Living life with this attitude can wear a person down to that point where we consider another line of work, another place to live, new church to attend, and many other "new" elements that make up the "new" life. We jump from the frying pan into the fire and then are left wondering "What to do?"
     Seeking contentment in our society of 2014 is a constant part of our lives.  We want to slow down, have smaller problems with ready answers, and people in our lives who have a calming effect on us.  We want job satisfaction, promotions and fairness.  The "wants" in our lives are so many that there is little area left for us to have our "needs" satisfied.  The balancing act isn't hard as there is only one element, "want" to balance.  We've given up on our needs to one degree or another.  Relegating ourselves to one unsatisfying world after another.
     What to do?  Well, for beginners we can learn how to say "no" and mean it.  This is very difficult for people who have many others who want their job, their family, and their possessions.  Competition weighs heavily on our lives.  Saying "no" in a healthy way will prolong your life and you will find that the world doesn't end when you have done so.  Being able to start off with the small things in life is a good place to start.  No, I don't want to walk the dogs today.  No, I don't want to decide an answer to your problem.  No, this isn't going to happen today.  Yes, it will wait.
     "Yes?"  We don't realize it but when we say "no" to one thing, we say "yes" to another thing.  Yes, I can take the time to walk the dogs.  For today I am not going to.  I'm going to finish doing _____ first.  The dogs will be okay.  They might even be wanting a break!  Your (or their) problem can be answered by someone else or not answered at all.  We are a society where we let others direct our lives where we don't want to go.  We "must" get on board for the sake of the team.  What a bunch malarkey.  Yes, I can and will have dessert before dinner tonight.  Cake and ice cream first.  Maybe that will be dinner!  Yes, I will not mow the lawn and will go to see a matinee. 
     Just for today, say "yes" and "no" in a healthy way.  Realize your limits and back off from the upper end.  Let others be responsible wherever possible  You and I don't have to make decisions for others.  They can be and will be responsible to the degree they are able.  Just for today get your priorities right.  God, family, others and then yourself.  This is that simple and possible.  Step down, step aside, step away and you will be okay just as those around you will be okay.  Remember to be kind to yourself.  Taking a break isn't a sin or a crime.
     What to do?