"I told you so!" is a phrase we love to echo but hate to hear. The more we are insecure the more we hate to hear it being said to us or even to others. When the outrage inside of us gets to the breaking point; we break. Not physically but emotionally or psychologically. We may even have a break in how our Christian lives are lived. The closer the speaker is in relationship with the hearer the deeper the hurt and pain. Even if we are wrong, we don't want the rebuke coming from someone who is close to us. Rather, we want those close to us to protect us. There really is no need for this phrase. It doesn't serve any positive position in anyone's life. Yet, if we don't say it, we think it and categorize people. I'm guilty of being on both ends of this dilemma.
Etiology is the study of "first things" or "first causes." It is here that we find the "why" in answer to many of our troubling memories. Maybe it's the "aha!" moment that comes to explain away the "why?" Certainly there are a great number of factors that come into play when we consider where "I told you so!" came from. We have our past relationships like parents or friends to strangers or fringe people. Put into play your economic background or our nationality and the causes can be put off on something or someone else.
"I told you so!" is filled with feelings of anger, disgust, triumph and so many more negatives. We don't need to repeat them all because we know what they are. There are more who hear the statement than there are people who speak the words. The gloating of the statement is intended to injure, hurt, or decimate someone else. Making a scenario where someone else feels one down is not what Christians should do. We expect the behavior in the world but not in our world.
I turned 61 this last May. I've heard this phrase so many times in my life. Sometimes it's been a humorous breaking of the ice. Sometimes it's a way to bridge a gap left in relationships. Often it's sole purpose is to create distance between the speaker and those who hear those words. It's rare that the phrase is repeated in private. Rather, it's stated in public in order for the speaker to "get the most" out of his or her being right at the expense of someone who has been tagged "wrong."
It doesn't matter what language you use this phrase. The phrase has no good use. Oh, we might use it in a humorous way with a friend. However, the use of the phrase is not humorous. The phrase, when used, is a division between the "right" and the "wrong." Tell me, if you will, who likes to hear they are wrong? Who is it in our world that welcomes berating comments? Not me! As a result, I don't use the phrase. Generally when people find out they are wrong about something they internalized the knowledge and have feelings enough without my reminding them.
What are we to do with Mr./Mrs. perfect? Leave them to their own destruction. They can go on with their behavior without our input. We are always free to walk away. Just because someone tells us "I told you so!" doesn't mean we have to accept that accusation. You probably remember the phrase: "Sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Right. The only way they won't hurt is if we tell ourselves the truth. The truth is we are going to be wrong just as those who say "I told you so!" on a daily basis.
And so, those who use "I told you so!" are the ones who need the real healing. They are the ones who are not bringing peace but are destroying the peace of God that passes all understanding. They deny the grace for themselves and try to steal the peace of others (sometimes succeeding) as often as they can.
Lastly, those who say, "I told you so!" are using the statement to bolster their own hurting lives. The Christian can turn the "I told you so!" into "I care about you." Being Jesus to our world is difficult enough as it is. We don't need to have the distraction put on our lives negating the positive. Don't misunderstand, we are not able to avoid all the negative. However, we can refuse to accept other peoples negatives as our own. They may even be right. Even if they are right, Jesus won't be seen because of the presentation and motive behind it.
So, the next time you find yourself in this no win situation, decide to not play in the game. Walk away. Life is hard enough as it is. We don't need to incorporate the negatives into our life. We need to exclude them. Yes, if that means people who have decided to continue this behavior and won't stop; let them go.
Most importantly, turn this area of your life over to Jesus. Instead of; "I told you so!" ask yourself: "What would Jesus do or say?" Choose to not join in with the negatives of this world. Choose to not accept "I told you so!" as a declaration in and about your life. Let go of those who seem to feel a need of having you one down from them. Remember you are a child of God. There is nothing one down about that.
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