My life in the eye of the hurricane.

     I was sitting here this morning journaling and suddenly realized that my Christian life is like living in the eye of the hurricane.  Category 5 hurricane that is.  This storm is huge!  The structure of the hurricane is interesting.  There is the outer wall, the swirling mass, the inner wall and then the eye of the storm.  While much of my life is represented all over the place; the best place to be in the center or eye of the hurricane.  People appear in different parts of the hurricane as they and I interact.  The ones in the center are other Christians.  The ones outside the center are not.  The division of the two is fuzzy because of the transition zone.  Some think they are in the center and belong to Jesus but are not.  Some think they are of the world but have at some time given their lives to Jesus.  I've existed in the outer wall of the hurricane since conception.  At least that's what the Bible says in the Psalm.  It wasn't my choice.  It was Adam and Eve's choice to live outside the eye of the storm.  Well, before Adam and Eve there was nothing but the calm of the eye.  God was with them in the garden.  The wall appeared in the form of a serpent (Satan) who tempted them to touch the wall and see that it wasn't bad.  Here we are.    I've lived the first 20 years of my life here on earth in the space between the outer wall and inner wall of the swirling mass we call life on earth.  Maybe you have too.  The wall had different meaning then than it does now.  Then it was the normal standard life that we lived.  Now it's seen as a force set in place to destroy everything in it's path. 
     When I became a Christian there were struggles and still are.  The wall between the outside (what was) and the eye of the storm will forever be there.  Well until there is the new earth.  In the meantime we are to live in the eye of the storm.  The eye of the storm is where we are safe.  We are able to live with peace of soul and mind.  This is where the gray area of the space between the wall and the eye comes into play.  We are asked by God to let go of the wall and all it has to offer because it's contrary to what he has planned for us.  We are asked to be separate from the world and yet have contact with the world.  It's difficult to visualize how God can call me to be not of the world and yet in the world until I admit that it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives within me.  It is He who has contact with the world through me.  Not me.  When I live in Christ I live in the center or eye of the hurricane.  When I choose to live in the world I choose to live outside the eye of the hurricane and in the chaos of the world. 
     Those who have entered into a relationship with Jesus have touched the eye of the hurricane and many have remained there.  Forsaking all others and following Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.  Living in the eye is abandonment of the world.  Not partaking of that which others and the enemy see as harmless.  To be a friend of the world and live in the chaos is to be an enemy of God.  Why?  Because the god of the chaos is Satan and if you are living in the world you are living for him and not Him.  Big difference.  So, the question is begged, how does one live in the eye of the hurricane?  It's a matter of choice.  Sometimes daily and sometimes moment by moment.  Dying to self would be a one time deal you would think.  I've placed my life on the altar so many times as a living sacrifice only to get off the altar and go back to my old desires.  You have too if you are honest with yourself.  The worst thing anyone can hear when they pass from this life to eternal life is "I never knew you."  The best thing that anyone can hear when they pass from this life to eternal life is "Welcome , my good and faithful servant."
     Which one am I?  Which one are you?  Because I'm saved by the blood of Christ and resurrected from the dead already in Christ, it is good news that I will hear "Welcome, my good and faithful servant." even though I haven't been good or faithful.  Sometimes I haven't even been a servant.  There are choices to be made.  The first one is if we are really willing to die and be separated from the chaos.  The second one is if we are wanting to remain in the eye of the hurricane.  Which choice we make today reflects our heart.  It's still your choice.

Highway Angel

I was driving home from a work when my car started to choke and sputter and died.
I barely managed to coast, cruising, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic on the highway and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the "quickie mart" building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a gas pump! So I got out to see if she was okay. When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen. She was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel. At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95. I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying "I don't want my kids to see me crying," so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now. So, I asked, "And you were praying?" That made her back away from me a little, but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, "He heard you, and He sent me." I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling, walked to the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the car who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little. She told me her name and that she lived nearby. Her boyfriend left 2 months ago, and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn't have money to pay the rent January 1st, and finally, in desperation, had called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They lived in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there. So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas but not that they were going to live there. I gave her my gloves and a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, "So, are you like an angel or something?" This definitely made me cry. I said, "Sweetie, at this time of year, angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people." It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course, when I got in my car, it started right away and got me home with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow for a check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong

Funny stuff that happens in my life.

     I have my son's Boston Terrier (terror) living in my house.  She's cute as a button and very lovable.  She also has only two speeds: asleep and full speed ahead.  Sometimes those get her into trouble.  I like to throw the ball in my back yard. Inevitably she will catch up with the ball and try to grab the ball and stop but ends up doing somersaults as her rear end doesn't stop!  It's funny to watch.  She runs so fast that she seems suspended above the ground.  One day we were coming into the house from the garage.  There is a door that leads into and through the laundry room.  There is a door at the other end that is usually open into the main house.  Today it wasn't open.  When I opened the door she (always has to be first) rushes into the dark laundry room.  The next sound I hear is "Boom!" as she ran head first into the closed door!  I laughed so hard that it brought tears to my eyes!  Then I reflected on the incident for many days to come.  Sometimes I even just say out loud "Boom" just to get myself laughing again.  Then God said, "That's what you do."  Ouch!  But as usual, God is right and it is what I do.  Full of myself I rush into what I think is the right thing to think, do or say and run full speed into a closed door.  Thinking themselves to be wise they proved themselves to be fools.  Yep, that's been me many times.
     When my son, Benjamen, was 4 years old we were sitting on the couch watching a kids show together.  He couldn't get any closer to me and was cuddled under my armpit.  I could tell he was really thinking and contemplating something.  So, I waited.  After a few minutes he said, "Dad?" "Yes, Benjamen."  "You know what I want to do when I grow up?"  I have had many different vocations and had talked with him about many of them.  He knew that I had enjoyed and done a lot of different things in my life.  So, I wondered what he had in mind.  I said, "No, what?"  He said, "I want to do everything."  He was so serious I knew he would at least try to do everything.  I told him, "You go and do everything.  I'll be right there with you."  Today he is beginning his "everything" and doing well.  When I became a Christian I asked God to use me wherever and whenever.  He's done so.  I've had 16 different vocations.  All but a couple were His choice for me.  When whatever mission God had me do in that vocation was complete or at least my part complete, he would move me onto the next vocation.  We need to be ready in and out of season to give account for the hope that is within us.  Life is on purpose and not an accident.  Go forth and make disciples of all mankind.
     While a police officer in the San Francisco Bay Area I was on midnight shift more than not.  I liked midnights.  Everything was well defined on midnights.  If you were out after 10:30 when I hit the streets you were assumed to be a bad guy.  Most were.  There were no politics ongoing as the Lt's, Captain and the chief had gone home with all the rest of the politicians.  We were the people who's feet met the road.  Though there were many serious moments in my career, there were also many funny ones.  Some of the funny stuff involved others and some was just me.  One morning after a particularly busy and difficult night (10 hour shifts) I decided to sit on a main road with radar and just slow people down.  Just being a presence would make a difference.  So, I pulled to the side of the road, shut off the car, put the radar gun to the outside review mirror and waited.  Suddenly my radio squawked and I was aware that I had been awakened!  Horror!  I don't even care to know how many people came by and saw me fast asleep in my car, radar gun stuck out the window and no one home!  I did the only thing I could, I started the car and got out of there!  Fortunately no one from the department was there to give me a bad time or to discipline me.  Be vigilant, the enemy goes about the earth seeking whom he may devour.  Be about the business of the Lord for no one knows the day or hour that he will return.  Be found doing the will of the Lord. 
     We can learn from pretty much all of the events that take place in our lives.  These events remind us we are human and to see others as human.  These events show us that we are fallible and not able to do everything.  These events encourage us to see that we are not to be alone in this world but to associate with other Christians.  Maybe I'll write a book about all the funny stuff.  I don't see many of them on the market.  Probably won't make the news or be on YouTube.  But that's not the purpose of my life.  God has me here, writing this blog and being on different social media sites to help and to bring hope.  That's what it's all about.  It was, is and will ever be my choice because He chose me.  It's your choice too!

The Room

     In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked". I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
     And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.      A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers". Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.      Often, there were many more cards than I expected, sometimes, fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting, each signed with my signature. When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.      When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.      I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy, I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.      Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it... The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle, and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.      And then the tears came. I began to weep: sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.      No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch his response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally, He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands, and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things, but He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.      Then, He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted, rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant, it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.      He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There were still cards to be written.

On to the next big event!

     We are a people who are obsessed with the next thing, the next person, and the next big event.  Christians aren't immune to this phenomena.   We too look to the next big event.  At Thanksgiving we look for Christmas.  At Christmas we look for Easter.  At Easter we look for Memorial Day.  at Memorial Day we look for Labor Day.  On Labor day we look for Thanksgiving.  And the cycle repeats itself year in and year out.  The events of the year seem to be the guiding forces in our lives.  Once upon a time these were set as feasts and festivals for the Israelites in order that they could remember what the Lord had done for them.  It was also a time of renewal and rededication of you and your family to what God wanted for the people of Israel.  Times have changed, commercialism has crept in to the point that most holidays now reflect "sales events" for everything.  The next big event isn't then about Jesus but about the world.  When anything over shadows Jesus, it's not about God.  The next big event is today.  Easter is here.  It marks the empty tomb and the risen Son of God.  His Resurrection is our a reflection of the believers resurrection.  The concept of our being dead prior to having life in Him is dimmed today and so is the resurrection.  Between the Easter bunny and chocolate vying for attention over who has what new outfit; so many miss  the point.  They don't remember.  The world has convinced them there is no need to remember.
     I'm not suggesting we need to adhere to legalism in order to have our priorities right.  There is no Scriptural basis for that.  What I am saying is that we need to remember the reason for the event.  Celebrating our birthdays isn't so much about being 63 in May (my birthday!) as it is that God has brought me through another year.  His grace and mercy allowed me to stay on earth another year for His will to be done.  Birthdays are not future focused because the Christian (and non-believer) are not promised tomorrow.  Our lives can be demanded of us at any time.  Celebrating the birth of Christ is a fulfillment of prophecy.  For centuries the Israelites looked forward to the coming of the Messiah.  Future focused.  Then when he came, because it wasn't like they defined it, they denied him, arrested him, killed him, and put him in a tomb.  He wasn't the future they envisioned he would be.  Yet, we celebrate his birth today as a gift given years ago.  Get the difference?  We celebrate another year of life that has been given to us.  His birthday celebration is for eternity in the future!  And so we come to the next big event.  Easter.
     No one hid Easter eggs on the third day.  No one had an Easter basket.  There were no new Easter outfits.  Easter began with dread, depression and delusions.  A world had ceased to exist.  The Savior of the world was dead and the believers were left alone.  They saw an end rather than a beginning.  The next big event had just taken place three days earlier when they killed Jesus hanging him on a cross.  Life as they knew it was over.  They knew Jesus had said he would be resurrected on the third day.  Yet, they also knew he would be handed over to the religious authorities (those who knew the prophecy of his birth, death and resurrection) and killed.  When the event happened, what was left was shock, disbelief, and dismay.  Decimated they hid in their room.  I can't even imagine what things must have been running through their minds.  Their Lord and Savior was dead.  When the women went to the tomb that morning, they went to properly prepare the body of Jesus.  They weren't there for the next big event.  They were there for the old event.  When Jesus said "It is finished." he meant it.  That event was done.  The next event was to come.  He told them it would.  He told them when it would and he told them how it would take place.  He would be resurrected!  He would rise from the dead! 
      It's important that we understand that these same feelings take place in our lives day in and day out.  We don't understand the why of some things, complain about the what, when and where.  We even challenge the how of events.  We don't remember.  We don't look at the event from past perspective.  We look at it from a forward perspective.  What's wrong with that you may ask?  Good question.  If we don't remember the prophecies of the Old Testament about Jesus we don't remember what we are commanded to do.  Our focus changes from Godly to worldly.  We move from caring for the lost, feeding the hungry and being their for the orphan and the widow to wondering if so and so will have new outfits for their little children, when the Easter egg hunt will begin and whether the ham will be done in time for dinner when everyone comes to our house.  We forget the next big event.  By the time the holiday (should be Holy day) is here, our focus isn't on what needs to be done.  We've long abandoned that for what we want to do.  Are the March madness basketball games more important than Jesus.  For some Christians the answer is yes.  Is it more important that we "appear" at church on Easter than any other time of the year?  For some Christians the answer is yes. 
     The next big event is today.  Tomorrow the next big event will be tomorrow.  The following day that day will be the next  big event.  These will only happen when we do what Jesus said for us to do: "be me to the world."  Heal the sick, bind up the broken hearted, care for the orphan and the widow and teach all men (mankind) to be my disciples and do the same."  Are you ready for the next big event?  It's always your choice. 

Where are the superhero's when you need them?

     Superhero's are the representation of our deepest desire.  We want to be super anything.  Whether it be the front man for a rock group or the perfect dad, we all dream of being "that" person.  We can air guitar all we want or make all the right decisions we can in our parenting and miss the boat.  Every superhero I've ever watched on TV or read about in comic books had two elements that dictated their lives.  The first was a super power and the second was an enemy.  Wait!  I'm half a superhero because I have enemies?  Not that simple.  In order to have super hero status there needs to be a "need" for your particular power.  Secondly there needs to be a threat to a person or segment of humanity that necessitates the super power.  For instance there needs to be an evil action for the super power to overcome.  While each super hero has/had a specific person as an enemy, the evil of that enemy spread to others as well.  Not unlike a leader of a country or the pastor of a church.  The Superhero has one other trait we need to pay special attention to; they are a figment of someone's imagination. 
     When I was a young boy I dreamed of being a spy, a superhero, and other personas that spent their lives saving others from some evil.  Not uncommon for children to do this.  I never dreamed of being an evil superhero.  Just the one who saved humanity from the evil that lurked.  Part of our plight in the superhero arena is our innate need to right wrong.  Some have it and others don't.  Some are intent on the wrong while others are intent on the right.  The fight that began with Adam and Eve continues to this day.  Their boys fought and one killed the other.  How much clearer of an example of good versus bad can you get?  I don't believe that Adam and Eve saw this coming.  Had they seen the potential for one to do in the other they would have stepped in and done something.  We have come a long way from that day and mankind (from the worlds standpoint) has only become worse.  When a woman can be raped on a street in New York City during the daytime while others just watch we have a clue as to how callous we have become.  Instead of being our brothers keeper we have become a people who "don't see, don't hear and don't do" anything.  Where are the superhero's when you need them?
     Superhero's hid their identity in their private lives.  Hiding behind a pair of glasses or a strip of cloth as a mask across their eyes.  When the need arose they stepped into their phone booth and became Underdog!  You thought I was going to say Superman!  Then in quick order they dealt a blow to evil and saved the poor victim(s).  Where are the superhero's?  They are the police, ambulance EMTs, firemen, doctors, nurses, teachers, parents and everyday citizens who DECIDED to DO SOMETHING.  They are hero's.  While we were yet sinners God chose to send his Son to die so that we could have forgiveness of sins.  God chose to become a superhero to mankind.  The difference?  He had always been the superhero, always will be the superhero and evil has been dealt a fatal blow on the Cross and from the Tomb.  Forever.  We are called to be superhero's as believers.  However there is one difference.  The superhero Christ wants us to be isn't a hidden identity even if you are living your life that way.  The superhero for Christ is the superhero for mankind.  You and I cannot function in secret.  We can't hide behind a cape or have a magic rope.  We don't fly (except during the rapture) and we don't ride a surf board on a sea of frozen water.  We go to our work place, have coffee and do our work unto the Lord.  We interact with our neighbors and friends as unto the Lord.  YOU are a superhero!  The world needs you!
     We have superhero's all around us.  Some are visible and others are invisible.  Which one are you?  Are you a superhero for good or for evil?  There are no other choices.  You and I are either for God or against God.  No other choices.  If we are believers we are to pour ourselves out for Jesus to the world we remain a part of.  No other choices.  We are to feed the hungry, cloth the naked, and care for the orphan and widow.  No other choices.  We are to lay hands on the sick and heal the broken hearted.  No other choices.  You and I don't need to make excuses anymore for our lack of use of our superpowers found in Christ and ushered into our lives by the Holy Spirit.  We just need to answer the call.  It's always your and my choice.

Danger lurks around every corner!

     Danger manifests itself in different ways for different people.  I live in an area where there are two specific danger spots way to close to my house.  The first is a smoked meat/sausage business (home style).  Just driving by makes even the stoutest of hearts want to make a left turn, go in and sin.  The aroma is incredible and the food even more so.  Problem is I go by there at least 3 times a week.  Most of the time I can resist the temptation.  BUT there are times when I just give in and enjoy.   And it's okay.  That kind of danger isn't so terrible.  However, there is a second danger near my home as well.  It's a produce farm that has it's own bakery.  The pastries are incredible.  On Thursday through Sunday they have fresh hot apple fritters all day long!  Drive past there and dare not to stop!  The other pastries are just as dangerous.  Their honey soaked bran muffins with butter are incredible as are their pecan and walnut cinnamon rolls.  They are huge and so tasty!  If I wasn't typing this blog I might just go and get some right now!  Danger is definitely just around every corner.
     It would be absolutely great if these were the only dangers in my life.  They are not.  I doubt they would be for you as well.  Dangers aren't just physical or emotional.  They can be spiritual as well.  We often focus on the dangers of sin in our relationship with Jesus.  That's good.  He's not just around the corner and isn't a danger at all.  He's right there beside you and I as we traverse our day.  My penchant for wood working, working on my car and truck, and using my power tools puts me in danger as well.  I usually have at least 2 or 3 cuts or bruises that are at some stage of healing.  Even when I cook danger exists.  Understand that I'm 62 and have been doing "life" for a long time.  The dangers haven't changed and in some sense have become more intense and deadly.  Take my phone for instance.  I used to be happy with the one hanging on the wall with a rotary dial and a cord.  It did what I needed it to do.  My son recently gifted me a new cell phone that does everything.  Not good for a tech challenged person as myself.  In order to adjust to the new dangers of the programs and such I need to be able to learn.  I'm not good at learning some things.  New technology is one of them.  I get kidded from a lot of people about the dangers that lurk around every corner in my life.
     There are times and places where the Christian has to face the dangers and even look for the dangers around them.  As a dad, I try to keep my interest in my kids lives on alert for nuances in their lives that spell pending danger or danger already in progress.  It's not just my job, it's my responsibility to point out the danger even at the risk of offending them or closing a door to an area of their lives.  This goes for my friends as well.  Christian friends and non-Christian friends alike are in need of our entering into the danger zone that lurks around the corners in their lives as well.  It was a common element at the beginning of human history and has only become more complex with the advancement of society and it's complex nature.  The most intense danger in our Christian society today is apathy.  Not caring whether someone hears the Gospel or not.  Not caring whether someone (Christian and non) wrecks their lives or the lives of those who love them.  Apathy is a danger that lurks around everyone's corner.  Our world is evidence of apathy being encouraged.  It's none of my business.  It's none of your business.  It's none of anyone's business.  Wrong!  We are our brother's keeper.
     The world sees Christianity as a danger to their way of life.  The Christian should see the world as a danger to their way of life.  The two cannon co-exist as some would like.  What you do with the danger that lurks around your corners of life is extremely important to not only yourself but also to those around you.  Remember that it's always your choice.

This Is The Time; This Is The Hour

This Is The Time; This Is The Hour

The Lord our God will say to us
To not limit what He can do,
For He is a God of the unlimited,
There's nothing He can’t do through you

For God is doing a new thing
In our lives, today, this hour
To raise us up to be His army,
Clothing us with His power

Remember not the former things,
The things that are in the past
Behold, He is doing a new thing
And will capture human hearts

It's time now to go out and gather
In the harvest of the Lord,
For there are many whose souls are ready
More than we've known before

So take His light into those places
Of darkness and misery,
That they may know the God of love
To give hope and a destiny

Then they may shine right where they are
So others may come to the light
And they in turn may come to know
The saving grace of Christ

Then Jesus' light may radiate there
Like a beacon in the night,
No longer groping in the darkness,
But shining forth God's light

May the spirit of God arise in you
And empower you much more
So His glory may be seen with you
As you proclaim the risen Lord

© By M.S.Lowndes

Thinking of you.

    That's what Jesus was doing all the way to the Cross.  He was thinking of you and me.  He could have made so many other different choices that would have defeated evil.  But he chose the path that was all about you.  If he had chosen to have a legion of angels come and do in all the bad guys you and I would still be lost.  Should he have chosen to rid the earth of evil you and I would still be lost.  So, he chose to come to earth as a human, lived among us, and then we killed him.  Nice, huh!  Amazingly, he let us.  He let us kill him because he knew it was the only way we would have hope.  He was thinking of you.  He was thinking of me.  Jesus said some hard things while he was here on earth.  He challenged our way of thinking, seeing and even our very existence or being.  He challenged us to be something more, different and to make a difference.  He showed by example all that he wanted us to have in abundance.  He was thinking of me.  He was thinking of you.  That's what he did as he went through the betrayal.  Our betrayal.  That's what he did when he went through the flogging.  Our flogging.  That's what he did as he carried his cross.  Our cross.  That's what he was doing when he died on the cross.  Our death.  He took all of that because he was thinking of you.  His resurrection?  Yes, that too was his thinking of you.  Our resurrection. 
     You and I know we don't deserve mercy and grace.  They are a gift to us from Jesus because he was thinking of us.  So, why do we have such a difficult time with mercy and grace?  Why is it we can acknowledge mercy and grace but not receive them?  Is it because of our need to have earned them?  Is it because we don't like to be beholden to anyone for anything?  Is it because we don't know how to receive these gifts?  Maybe it's a part of all of them.  Mostly, it's because we need to surrender ourselves in order to let mercy and grace take their place in our lives.  He was thinking of us while we were thinking of ourselves.  He chose to give a gift to us in eternal life with him.  He chose to take care of all of our needs and many of our wants.  He provided us with blessing upon blessing...so much that we cannot contain them.  He chose to go above and beyond all of that by becoming our advocate before the Father.  His blood cleanses us from all sin.  He was thinking of you.  He was thinking of me.  When he was dying, when he was ascending into heaven and this very moment, he is thinking of you.  He was thinking of me.  We are constantly on his mind, in his heart and within his presence.  Why?  Because he was thinking of you.
     The world is obsessed with thinking of ourselves and to hell with everyone else.  But, we aren't to be part of the world.  We are called to be in the world but not of the world.  We are encouraged to love others and to exercise mercy and grace where it's not deserved...just like Jesus did.  The world wants to snuff out the voice of God.  It's plain in the agenda of everything non-Christian.  The media, groups, individuals and whomever can bend a listening ear wants us to invest in ourselves.  Take care of our own wants.  Give in to whatever pleasures we desire.  That's what the world wants, propagates and encourages.  The world rewards those who are contrary to the message and person of Jesus Christ.  Why is that?  Because they aren't thinking about you, for you, of you.  They are thinking of self, money and pleasure.  The sad fact is the world thinks of a temporary pleasure while eternity in heaven will be denied.  The world doesn't have your best interests at heart.  The world wants to and is destroying people around you and I.  What are we doing?  Are we thinking of them?  Are we doing something, anything, for Christ?  Who are you thinking of?

Should Christians complain?

     Christianity has been characterized from radical to pacifying.  People have laid own their lives without so much as a word about their deaths.  Others have fought bitter battles in order to "defend" the faith.  Jesus himself was an aggressive pacifist.  Doesn't that bring up images!  From making wine from water to healing people he shouldn't have touched or come close to he challenged the way people thought.  His "turn the other cheek" and "give them your coat too" moments were focused around his throwing the money changers out of the temple.  Though he went to the Cross for you and I he also took aim at the religious authorities calling them a "brood of vipers."  Jesus is the one who laid down his life for you and I and at the same time lets us have our choices whether they glorify him or not.  While our range of complaints exist they really don't mean much in light of what Jesus showed us about acting like we love God.  He told us to take care of the fatherless and the widow and to kick the sinner out of fellowship if they were unrepentant.  See what I mean about the aggressive pacifist?!
     The question, "Should Christians complain?" is a valid one.  They should and again they shouldn't.  Confusing?  It certainly can be.  Let's look at some guidelines in the Word.  James (half brother of Jesus and leader of the church in Jerusalem) writes "You ask and you have not because you ask with wrong motives."  Motives are those parts of us that really reflect whether we belong to Jesus or not.  If our motives are selfish we are not reflecting Jesus; we are reflecting ourselves.  If our motives are unselfish we are reflecting Jesus and not ourselves.  If we are worldly centered we are the former and if we are heavenly minded we are the latter.  The line drawn between the two is not well defined.  Yes, I can pray for healing for so and so.  No, I can't demand how that healing takes place.  Yes, I can pray for a new car.  No, I can't demand a new Lincoln.  Yes, I can pray for money to buy gas to get myself to work.  No, I can't ask for more than I need.  You get the point.  When we die, we will take none of this world with us.  Leaving us to really wonder about why we are asking for what we are asking for.  James again says, "you ask so that you can consume that which you receive for yourselves."  Motive. 
     Once again there were terrorist attacks and many lives were lost with many more left injured and the world traumatized.  Should we complain?  Once again, this year there will be 1.5 million abortions (babies killed) in the United States alone.  Should we complain?  There will be thousands who die from starvation in many different countries while the powers that be keep the supplies from those who need it most.  Should we complain?  Today there will be wars and rumors of wars, people will be murdered, atrocities committed.  Should we complain?  Social injustice is around every corner and yet Christians seem incapable of changing the situation.  Why is that?  Maybe we have the wrong point of view.  It's not everyone else's problem.  It is mine.  It's not everyone else's relative, friend or enemy.  It is mine.  It's not my right to complain.  It is commanded by God that I do.  God tells us to approach the throne of God with our whole heart.  That includes our wants and needs.  The throne of God is meant to be a place where we take these complaints and place them for God to take care of in the manner he sees fit.  Not mine.  The problem is we place everything on the throne and then take it back when we finish praying...if we placed it there in the first place.  Yes, Christians should complain.
     No, Christians shouldn't complain.  Time and the future are unveiling themselves according to God's plan and not ours.  There will not be peace in this world.  There will not be unselfishness or generosity in this world.  There will never be co-existence in this world.  AND there should not be!  We, as Christians, are called OUT OF THE WORLD and told to NOT BE OF THE WORLD but to be IN THE WORLD as Christ's representatives.  Not our own representative.  With the fracturing of the Christian community brought about by Satan through the establishment of denominations and such, the chances of unified belief is gone.  When we are more concerned about how we believe versus how we are supposed to believe we are the problem and not the solution.  It doesn't matter whether you speak in tongues or not.  It doesn't matter if you are sprinkled or dunked.  It doesn't matter if you have the gift of prophecy or healing or teaching or...  It doesn't matter.  What matters are the complaints of the innocents who cry for us, the Christians, to love them as God does.  We are so blessed and we take it for granted. 
     So, should Christians complain?  It's your choice.  Give that choice to God and do what eh asks you to do, say what he asks you to say, and think what he asks you to think.  That way when we do complain, the complaint will be from the heart of God and not the heart of man. 

Challenges we all face every day in our Christian lives.

     On Saturday I challenged my 15 year old daughter to consider an alternate way of thinking.  I suggested she tell me what life would look like in a 24 hour period if she were to have no problems, no pain, no conflicts, no difficulties and no stress.  She was taken aback but after some time began to reflect.  She said, "I'm not taught to think that way."  Telling statement.  None of us are.  More than likely we are taught that this is the way it is and we need to just deal with it.  Because we are insensitive we tell one another to "buck it up" and "take it in stride" and other insane things.  Maybe all we need to tell each other is "You are okay."  Maybe that's "pie in the sky" as well.  So what do we do with the challenges that come our way?  Do we just roll over and play dead?  Do we adjust to a "less than" way of living?  Do we use our situation (temporary) as an excuse to not be more than?  Challenges are real.  People don't usually make things up just to be miserable.  Well, I do know a few people like that.  But that's not the norm.
     As my daughter began to describe her day I watched and listened (without interruption which is sometimes hard for me).  I saw realization in her eyes of a life she hasn't engaged.  I saw in her eyes that look of the "ah-ha" moment we have sometimes.  I heard in her voice a change from resignation to hopefulness.  Don't get me wrong.  My daughter isn't in all that bad of a space (if you ask me).  She's intelligent, has good friends, has a pretty good balance of emotions (especially for 15!).  What are the challenges?  The challenges for her (like the rest of us) is being able to grasp her identity as God created it to be.  Grasping that vision sets us free from the image and identity the world assigns to us.  So, the challenges then may begin to fall away as we look at ourselves and our world from how God sees us and the world we live in. 
     As my daughter brought her "new" day to an end there was a sense of relaxation and contentment I hadn't seen in her for a while.  There is a lot of power in our positive thinking.  Understanding that there are challenges in the Christian life is essential to survival and administering the Gospel to others.  It's called empathy.  When we can feel for people in their situation we are doing what Jesus did.  It's called empathy.  We, unlike Christ, seem to stay fixated on what the challenge is rather than to the outcome of a challenge overcome.  I once kept a prayer journal as I guided a senior mid-week Bible study.  When we came together I wrote down their prayer requests.  The following and subsequent weeks I wrote down the answers and checked off the prayer requests.  From time to time I would let the group know how many prayers had been answered, how they had been answered and when they had been answered.  Here's what really happened.  The group was challenged in their thinking about whether God actually and really was interested enough in their lives to actually do something for them.  Faith.  That was the key issue.  The result was people who began to pray with faith that God was already answering the prayers of their hearts before the words passed over their lips.  Well, at least that's what the Bible says.  Who am I to argue.
     Most challenges (if not all) in my life are of my own making.  They are there for good or bad and that's just the way it is.  Some can be changed and others are for the rest of my life here on earth.  NONE are permanent.  If they are not resolved or at least addressed here on earth; they will be of no consequence to me in heaven.  Why can't we and why don't we live with that thought today?  This very minute?  Why is it we cling to the challenge as if we get our identity out of those challenges?  Because that's what the world wants us to believe.  That's not what God wants us to believe.  Like all things in this life challenges are temporary.  They are neither permanent nor are they defining of who we are.  They are temporary situations that want to control and direct our lives.  God has made a permanent solution to the challenges in our lives.  He tells us to face them.  He tells us to understand them.  Then, he tells us to give them to him.  Once they are no longer ours, we can relax and be more like Jesus.  Once placed on the altar, don't remove the challenges.  Let God work through them by his power and wisdom.  All I now is that when I try to resolve my challenges the only thing I accomplish is pushing Jesus out of the picture.   Yet, it's always my choice...and yours.

Satan's plan and devices

     A few days ago I wrote about how God offers us love, acceptance and approval.  We explored each and know that it's only out of the mercy of Christ and his work on the Cross that we can know these three gifts from God.  I'd like to take some time and go over the three focuses Satan uses to mess with all of humanity leading so many astray.  Those three elements are: manipulation, control and secrecy.  Those three have stolen so much from mankind and doomed to destruction so many who have bought into them as their way of life.  Choices like these have their origination when Satan rebelled against God and was thrown out of Heaven.  Satan wanted to be God.  Not much different from us when we want to be the god of our own world.  The fall from Heaven precipitated the event in the garden when Satan had his meeting with Eve.  You remember the story.  "Surely you won't die." manipulation, "God doesn't want you to have knowledge." control, and "when God came walking in the garden Adam and Eve hid themselves because they were afraid." secrecy.  Instead of love, acceptance and approval Eve first and then Adam chose manipulation, control and secrecy.  They in turn threw away the innocence of mankind in the process leaving all of mankind vulnerable to the sin they committed.  We became a fallen creation in the Garden and still are.
     On a continuum manipulation can be extremely subtle to outright blatant.  Manipulation often incorporates use of guilt, gullibility and guile.  Nothing good is to be found in the manipulation mankind uses.  We manipulate the truth, lies and everything in between just so we can get, gain or gloat.  Okay, I'll stop with the "g" words.  However, we do just that.  We teach out children to do just that.  Then we teach our grandchildren to do the same thing.  All the while we are praying for a different outcome on everyone's behalf.  Manipulation is disrespectful of the person God has created.  When we manipulate someone we in turn play god in their lives.  We rationalize and justify our choices and actions in order to defer our sin to others or make it a "non-sin" issue.  Manipulation is a selfish action by our sin nature that seeks to maintain our sin nature. 
     Control is all around us.  In fact, mankind through the years has brought more and more control and regulation into our lives.  That's what was present in the garden.  Satan convinced Eve, who convinced Adam, that the fruit was just fruit meant for good.  We don't know what the fruit was.  We just know that Satan controlled the situation in such a manner that Eve threw away the very life that God had created for and granted to she and Adam.  Once the control chain reaction had begun, that reaction needed an outlet.  Eve brought a piece of fruit to Adam (wherever he had been).  He was faced with a choice.  Stand join Eve or be separate from Eve.  What would have happened if Adam had said no?  What would happen if we were to say no to sin?  Control always affects someone or something else.  In this case we've been thrown out of the Garden with Eve's choice and Adam's subsequent choice to join her. 
     The Bible tells us that their eyes were opened and they saw that they were naked.  Transparent is a good word.  Seen for who and what they were and had done.  So, they sought to cover up the act.  They thought (wrong choice) about their nakedness and chose fearfulness of God as motivation for hiding from him when he came walking in the Garden.  What were they thinking?  Hiding from the God of all creation who knows all, sees all and is all powerful.  Not exactly rocket science knowing that God would know what was going on, find them and confront them.  Satan's manipulation, control and secrecy was exposed and God's love acceptance and approval remained.  God clothed them.  God loved on them.  God set boundaries for them.  God showed them how they must live now.  God gave them choices.  Just as he does today.  It's my choice.  It's your choice. 

The Spoon Theory

The Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino

     My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing. As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know? I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick. As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try. At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands. I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted. Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control. She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become? I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus. I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this. I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me. We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night. When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all. I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.” Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”. After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.” Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

Things aren’t always what they seem

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion’s guest room. Instead, the angels were given a space in the cold basement. As they made their bedroom the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied…. “Things aren’t always what they seem.”
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had, the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good nights’ rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel “How could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him,” she accused. “The second family had so little, but was willing to share everything and you let their cow die.”
“Things aren’t always what they seem,” the older angel replied.”When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn’t find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. “Things aren’t always what they seem.”
Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don’t turn out the way you think they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later. “Things aren’t always what they seem.”


 

What's it like to be me?

     That is a very loaded question!  Some are better left unanswered but I feel this one is important to some out there who have chosen the Christian walk similar to mine.  I once coined the phrase "a state of positive discontent" to describe what my life was like.  I'm glad to be where I am, having come through what I've come through but am not content with staying here.  There has to be more.  The quest for positive change in my life is reflected in my quest for all that which is outside the box.  I never have liked boxes and feel like they hinder the life Christ has for all of us.  It's like the saying, "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."  Some things just demand of us a decision to move forward even if we know the cost.  Paul says that he counted the cost and pressed on toward that goal which is in Christ Jesus.  He also counted all his past as garbage and worthless compared with what he found in Christ.  We could say Paul was consumed with Jesus.  That would be a gross understatement.  Paul was consumed with his dying and Christ's living that Jesus was all he could see.  That is passion at it's greatest (at least for a human).
      Whether those around me agree or not is immaterial.  Whether those around me engage me or not is immaterial.  Whether those around me join my journey or not is immaterial.  Yet, I do want people to agree, engage and join me in this journey.  The difference is I want others to seek THEIR journey with Christ.  Indelibly we will meet on the same road.  The journey with Jesus is individual.  No one can do it for me.  No one can do it for you.  We are not faced with the decision of whether we can do the journey or not.  We are faced with the decision of where we can and will follow Jesus regardless of where he leads us.  That's where the state of positive discontent comes in.  I don't expect people to understand the journey I am on.  I don't even expect people to join me on the journey.  Many have been there for the season that Jesus brought them into.  When that season was gone they didn't go away...they went on.  People come into and go out of our lives for various reasons.  If those reasons are centered on Christ then peace resides in the arrival and departure of like souls.
     I'm not tied to planet earth.  From an early age I've taught my children the temporariness of living here on earth.  That teaching can only be based on returning home to Jesus in heaven.  Though we are missed by some when we die and go to heaven; we are also missed by some when the old man in us dies and we become alive with Jesus as our Savior.  The focus changes from worldly to heavenly.  Though we need to be careful in our heavenly mindedness so that we don't become no earthly good, we must make the transition from death to life.  When I physically die here on planet earth is not the question.  It's where I take the next breath that matters.  My last exhale is immediately followed by my next inhale in heaven.  Should I have not made the choice to follow Jesus my next inhale would be in hell.  My flippancy about life on earth is well known amongst those who know me.  Some wonder and some understand.  Neither those wondering or those understanding have any affect on my decision to follow Jesus.  It's my desire and prayer that everyone know Jesus as their Savior.  If I don't live with the focus and hope that I have, how will they know?  How will they make a decision so huge in their lives?  How will they understand the gravity of either decision? 
     Jesus came, lived, died, and rose from the dead so I can have life and that life abundantly from a heavenly perspective.  The Holy Spirit came to breathe in and through me so that others can come to know Jesus.  Bringing glory to God is the highest calling of all believers.  If your life isn't bringing glory to Jesus what is it bring glory to?  That's a question I live with asking myself every day.  Sometimes I choose to bring glory to myself or to some worldly thought, possession or other obstacle to Christly living.  More of the time I bring glory to God.  One of the most amazing miracles I've ever encountered is that God can work in spite of me!  He has, he does and he will continue to do so.  What's it like to be me?  I'm a person who lives a life of positive discontent.  It's what I've chosen.

"Imagine"

"Imagine"

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one



There seems to be some contradictions in my life

     Strangers may find that hard to believe.  Those who know me know the truth of the statement.  To some degree I'm a walking contradiction.  All indicators of my early life would have me either dead or in prison today.  According to psychiatric theories and sociologists speculations the markers in my life from birth to rebirth should have placed me either dead or in prison.  Yet, I've not been to prison.  I'm still alive and kicking.  Predictors of where one will be in life are merely speculation based on the past of an individual, their family (or lack thereof), the social environment they existed in and where they are now.  All of these items are very important and do to some degree tell us where we will end up.  BUT then Jesus arrives!  So, why am I still a contradiction?  Why is it I don't belong anymore than when I did as a teenager, young adult or even later years?  I don't belong with most people and to most social environments.  But the, as a Christian, I'm not supposed to.  I'm supposed to belong to Christ regardless where I am and what I am doing.  Regardless of those involved in my life and those who are exiting my life I will go on. 
     Contradictions are those things incongruent with that which is around us.  The question then is begged; what are we doing not being contradictions?  To be congruent with Christ means to be incongruent with the world and vice versa.  What has happened since time eternal is man's adjustment to NOT be a contradiction.  Fit in.  Be a part of.  No wave making.  Don't rock the boat.  Be what people expect you to be.  Don't offend anyone.  You get the picture.  Whatever you do, according to the world, don't be different.  It makes others uncomfortable.  Whatever you do, according to Christ and the Bible, be as Christ who contradicted the world.  Throw the money changers out of the temple.  Lay hands on people and cast out demons, heal the sick and deliver those with afflictions.  Pray with faith that HIS will be done regardless how uncomfortable others may be.  If my life wasn't a contradiction I would be worried.  I don't know any other kind of life.  When I've been in spaces where I wasn't a contradiction I dropped into sin.  Whenever I lived the contradictory life of Christ He delivered me from sin. 
     When we run the major characters God used throughout the Old and New Testaments all we see are contradictions.  Why do we think we need to be any different.  We are "a people called apart" and we ought to live like it.  We are to be "in the world but not of the world" and we ought to live like it.  We are sojourners here on earth.  Sojourners live to their calling and not the calling of others.  I remember during my high school years learning that I was expected to get out of high school, get a job, work for 30 years and retire.  I was expected to have a home, wife, children and eventually grandchildren.  Maybe have a dog or two.  I've had 18 different vocations.  Why?  Because that's what God had me do.  He used me in one place until he needed me in another.  Sometimes I did the choosing.  It was only later that I saw his hand in all of this plan.  I'm a contradiction.  I have 7 children and 5 grandchildren.  Not 2.5 like the world wanted at that time.  I retired at 53.  Not because I wanted to.  I had worked hard and damaged my body and mind beyond the ability to continue working.  Seven surgeries later I live a good life...on disability retirement.  I am a contradiction.  I wasn't supposed to amount to much.  I am a contradiction.
      My senior class in high school voted me most likely to fail.  They were right and wrong.  I did fail...but I got up and tried again.  Their prediction was from their stand point.  The reality was from God's standpoint.  He delivered me from myself and here I am.  I'm a success!  People hate that.  I've been educated (almost 3 Masters degrees), travelled (international and across the US), been a successful business man, and NOT been in prison or even the county jail.  I'm a contradiction.  Maybe you are a contradiction as well.  We don't need to be predictable.  Jesus wasn't.  We don't need to reflect the world.  Jesus didn't.  We don't need to live out others expectations.  Jesus didn't.  We don't need to live eternally in hell because of What Christ did.  All he asks is that we be a contradiction.  Does my life shout so loud that everyone can see there is something different about me?  I hope so.  Though I know at times people didn't see my commitment to Christ at all.  Those were times when I wasn't a contradiction.  Wait!  I was a contradiction in regards to my Christian faith.  What are we to do?
     The Gospel is foolishness to those who are perishing.  Because the Gospel is being lived through me, people see me as foolishness.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  Some of my best memories were and are of times when God asked me to act contrary to what was expected.  If I chose to be a contradiction to Christianity I wouldn't risk, take a chance or risk being ostracized by those around me.  If I chose to be a contradiction to the world I wouldn't risk, take a chance or risk being ostracized by those around me.  The outcome is different for the same action/reaction.  The outcome for being seen as a contradiction to those who are perishing is I live eternally with Jesus.  The outcome for being seen as a contradiction by those who believe is that I live eternally in hell.  You do to.  It's always our choice.

Some things Jesus wants you to know.

     Jesus wants us to know some pretty basic things.  He doesn't want us to be hung up on complex theology that even theologians have trouble deciphering.  He doesn't want us to know something that no one else knows.  He doesn't want us to know what other people are confessing and why.  Jesus doesn't want us to know when the end is here.  Given what he doesn't want us to know; we are left with the question of what does he really want us to know.  What are the priorities in his mind and on his heart for me.  Not you, them or us; for me. 
     He wants me to know that he loves me.  He knows every intimate inch of my mind, body and spirit.  He knows the intricacies of my heart, thoughts and real life.  He knows who I am in private and who I am in public.  He knows what I should do and didn't.  He knows what I didn't do and should.  Yet, he loves me.  He loves me because of who I am and not what I've done or not done.  He loves me as he created me and not as the world has tainted me.  He loves me when I'm in my best space as well as when I'm in my worst space.  He loves me.  He wants me to know that his love for me hasn't changed, isn't changing and won't change through eternity.  That's a long time.  He wants me to know that he loved me when I was created in my mothers womb, in first grade and when I was beat up in basic training.  He wants me to know that he was there that night I was going to take my life and it was HE who put his hand on my shoulder.  He loves me.  He wants me to know that.
      Jesus accepts me.  Just as I am without a plea...  Jesus accepted me when he created me, accepts me now as I am and accepts me for all of eternity as who I will become.  Why?  Because he does.  He would like me to make better decisions.  He would like me to avoid that which isn't good for me.  He would even like me to come to him first ALL of the time.  But...Jesus accepts me.  His acceptance of me is only because of the image of God in me.  THAT is what he accepts.  He accepts that my finite heart, mind and soul cannot fathom his infinite heart, mind and soul.  He accepts that my faith is small and faltering at times.  He accepts that I have yet to develop into who he envisions I am to be...designed from the creation of the world.  Jesus accepts me.
      Jesus wants me to know that he approves of me.  Me!  Not who you want me to be or what the world thinks I should be.  Not what the devil would appreciate me if I were his.  Jesus approves of me as his creation.  Jesus sees the image of God in me because He put it there.  It's indelibly imprinted on my soul waiting for me to see and respond.  Jesus approves of how I have endured through hardship that I created.  Jesus approves of the contributions I have made to the kingdom.  Jesus approves of the love that he has been able to give to others through me.  Jesus approves of me for who he is bringing me to be.  Jesus approves of the positive in my life not because I deserve it but because despite adversity I still am positive.  Jesus approves of me. 
     These three, love approval and acceptance are all central in our relationship with Jesus.  For without any one of them we are susceptible to the lies of the enemy who seeks us out waiting for a crack in the armor to enter in and wreak havoc.  Where there is love, acceptance and approval there is no room for condemnation, rejection and disapproval.  Those are things the enemy gives to us to keep us imprisoned.  Jesus wants me to know that I am loved, accepted and approved by HIS standard and not that of the world.  Jesus wants me to know that he stands beside me when I stand with Him.  Jesus wants me to know these things.  He also wants you to know them as well.  Because he gives us the freedom to choose.  Nothing complex about that.  It's your choice just as it is mine.  We can choose his truth or the lies of the world.  One is wise and the other is foolish.  You choose which one you want to live with.  I'll choose love, acceptance and approval from Jesus.  Because of that I can live with that.

It's all about focus and surrender.

     Focusing on surrender is a difficult feat to accomplish in this world where we are taught, encouraged and even expected to be individuals working our own will amongst a world trying even harder to control us.  One of the chief complaints of the world at the time of Christ was all the laws that governed the Jewish people.  When Jesus was born, lived, was crucified and risen from the dead the Bible tells us that he "fulfilled" the law.  The rules had come to rule the people instead of people choosing to let God rule their lives.  The obvious problem that came about was a rebellion against the "organized" religion of the day that continues into our century.  Legalism wasn't something meant for mankind.  It's something that mankind invented to place people under control of religion, government and tyrants.  Disobey the law and you will be punished.  Our society today is so controlled with laws that we are regulated until death.  Oh, wait, after death as well.  Where does the Christian fall into this legalism and control?  Why do people want to control what other people think, say and do anyway?
     The golden rule for the modern day is, "he who had the gold makes the rules."  Now, depending on what your "gold" is, you may be the one making the rules or the one subjugated to the rules.  It's not healthy to really be in either camp as a Christian.  Here's why.  We weren't created to be in that place.  We were created to be free.  Simple enough.  What we have today is a controlled freedom that actually is no freedom at all.  Let me give you an example.  I was in a group counseling session inside a state prison.  No, I wasn't the prisoner!  The group informed me they didn't like me.  Okay.  They told me that before help could come they could kill me.  They didn't see the chance of being released anytime soon anyway.  So, I told them that they couldn't kill me.  After the pregnant pause I was informed that they could in fact do the job.  I explained to them that my life wasn't confined to here in this room, and that I had a destination where I would be totally free.  I explained that their killing my body actually released me from my prison to be with Jesus.  They were dumbfounded.  I had taken away their power to rule and control.  That's what we were created to be.  Sojourners passing through this world on our way home to be with Jesus.
     As I explained yesterday I don't always surrender and my focus isn't always on what I should have done and who I should have been serving.  Focus and surrender are tied together but put in reverse order of importance.  My surrender allows God to have his focus in my life.  When that occurs, it's no longer I who live but Christ who lives within me.  Thus I am free in Christ from all the confines of earthly law.  If I obey God I automatically am in line with all that is right.  The two commands are only applicable if we choose them.  Choosing to surrender to God and then living that life allows us to be free.  When we are free, we cannot contain the blessings of God.  When we cannot contain the blessings of God we are able to have God bless others through our surrendered lives.  When that happens our world becomes his world and is transformed into all that is good and right.  Keep in mind that I'm talking about our individual lives and not something corporate where others are involved.  Satan is the god of this world and holds captive so many who impose his laws upon all who do not have Christ as their life. 
     When I choose to focus on Christ and what he wants in my life I have no time to look at others lives and mandate their change and adherence to the Bible and Jesus.  When I choose to submit myself to God and leave my life at the foot of the cross, I can live what Christ wants m e to live.  But what about....?  Yes, there are all kinds of distractions.  What I'm trying to say today is that my life should not be defined by a group of people who may or may not have a relationship with Jesus.  Our whole social media focus is on why people aren't like me and how they can be like me so that I don't feel insecure.  Jesus says life is all about our death and his resurrection in our lives so that it is he who lives in us.  Social media purports to control and contain us while Jesus offers freedom to us.  Big differences.  We choose that which we decide to serve.  Many go to church because they HAVE to.  Many go to Wednesday night services because they are expected to.  Many read their Bibles, pray and even go door to door because their church compels them to.  Masses of people worship in a particular manner with particular beliefs in particular buildings because they have been raised or chosen to operate within that stereotype. 
     It's all about focus and surrender...to whom is up to you.  You are faced with only two choices which should make the decision easy.  It doesn't.  The choice is Jesus or Satan.  That's it.  One brings freedom while the other brings imprisonment.  Remember that when you decided to do this or that.  Remember that when you choose to not do this or that.  When you teach your children or people in your churches to do this or that understand the implications of your choices.  It's all your choice just as it is mine.

I confess, I did it.

     This past week wasn't all that unusual.  I went about my business as usual, made my appointments and interacted with people for business and pleasure.  So, what is it I'm confessing?  Well, I broke the 10 commandments.  All of them.  At least from my heart and mind stance even if my body didn't do anything wrong.  Well, my body did things wrong as well.  So, here is my confession.  I have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  I seem to recollect that I did that most every day.  Okay, probably at least a couple of the commandments every day of last week.  They seem to be popping up everywhere.  Even if I were to isolate in my house, not be on the internet and turn off the TV and my phone, the temptation to break a commandment or two seems to haunt me.  Why is that?  Did you do the same thing?  I know that I have been redeemed.  I know that I am saved and will spend eternity in Heaven.  I know that Jesus did all the work so that I could be in this space.  I know that God loves me and provides for all my needs every day, every hour and certainly every moment.  I know all of this and yet...I confess, I did it.
     I could rationalize and justify my choices, thoughts and deeds.  I could but that would be futile.  Therefore I am relegated to summarizing what I feel are the two big issues.  First, I failed to have the relationship with God that he asks me to have with him.  Second, I failed to have the relationship with mankind that God asks me to have with them.  Two failures.  Two confessions.  Twice sinned and twice forgiven.  Thank God!  Realizing that I am a fallen creation would lead me to say, "I can't help it."  That would be a sin and I would have to confess that as well.  Deflecting my plight to "The Devil made me do it." would be a sin and that too would need to be confessed.  Blaming others for my this or that would only be yet another sin which would need to be confessed.  Excusing myself because of my sinful nature is too a plight to be confessed.  What has happened to me since I first gave my life to Jesus?  I know that the process of sanctification has been ongoing but this is crazy.  I've been a Christian since October 1, 1972!  That's a lot of years to have not arrived.  Great!  That reminds me that I have sinned by being judgmental of those who have also not arrived! 
     Paul laments "Those things I know I should do, I do not and those things I know I should not do, I do.  Wretched man that I am."  Paul said that.  Paul, the man of God who was instrumental in spreading the Gospel after his road to Damascus conversion.  Yes, that same Paul.  He would also label himself, "The greatest of sinners."  Suddenly I don't feel so alone.  That doesn't mean I am exempt from trying to be who God wants me to be.  It means I know that I'm not perfect, haven't been perfect and won't be perfect until I pass into Christ's presence.  Neither will you or anyone.  Yet, we have an advocate in Jesus Christ who pleads our case before the throne of God declaring our righteousness won through His work on the cross and his resurrection.  By this I too am crucified (the old man) and am also resurrected (the new man) for His glory.  While I have my confessions to make and forgiveness to seek, I also have successes brought about by God through me when I submit to His will.  I confess, I did that too!

Here today, gone to Maui!

     In the beginning God created everything.  In 6 days he created all that is.  On the 7th day he created an example.  He rested.  Do you rest?  I have a hard time resting much less putting my brain in neutral.  Yet, we are to emulate God in our lives while here on planet earth.  Might as well do it on Maui, on the beach, in the sunlight, with a good friend or two.  If we are going to do the "rest" thing, we should also do it with all of our heart.  That means putting everything aside so that we can rest.  Again, this is hard to do.  We can exercise rest if we have our priorities right and consciously make that decision.  Just yesterday I went out of the house for 4 hours and didn't take my phone with me!  Can you believe not being connected with the world for 4 hours?!  It was great!  Not that I didn't think about the phone, messages and calls, I did.  Yet, I had made the conscious decision to not take the phone with me.  To be truthful, though, it had a lot to do with a dead battery and needing to be charged.  So, I didn't intentionally choose to have a time of rest from my phone.  Our phones have taken over most of our lives.  We don't need to remember addresses, names or phone numbers because they are in our phones.  We don't need to remember or write down directions because our phones are our GPS.  We don't even have to worry about mistakes in writing texts with auto correct.  Okay, that is one we can worry about! 
     Resting isn't about doing nothing.  Resting isn't about thinking only happy thoughts.  Resting is about refreshing, reloading and relating.  We need to be refreshed.  We need to be reloaded and we need to relate to God and others.  Resting is about preparation, about movement and about listening to that still small voice telling us where to turn next.  I don't do well with resting.  I was raised on a farm in the Midwest where we worked 6 days and sometimes 7 days a week from sun up to sun set.  Rest was going to school!  Rest came when it rained.  Rest was meant to be sleeping.  Rest was not refreshing, reloading or relating.  I've carried that misunderstanding through most of my life.  Having to "be busy" "finding something to do" and not having an "idle moment" have punctuated my life and relationships.  That was affected in my relationship with Christ as well.  Realizing that this wasn't healthy took many different forms.  Contemplating losses because of the lack of rest.  Understanding the missed opportunities due to a lack of rest.  Having a heart attack because "rest" was a foreign concept that only others had the luxury of taking or having.  Now I rest. 
     Compelling myself to rest still takes a lot of focus.  Even though I know it's good for me, I don't always do what is good for me.  It's very difficult to break old habits and install new habits which should instill a good ethic in my life.  One way to compel ourselves to rest is to weigh out the negatives.  That's not what God wants or commands in the Bible.  Another way is to reflect on what else could be done.  God doesn't condone that one either.  So what does God want in our rest?  He wants to be in our rest.  That's it.  Nothing more and nothing less.  Not focused on the past or on the future.  Not hoping for this or being distracted by that.  Certainly not substituting one busyness for another.  For example, sitting down and then turning on the TV.  Taking the afternoon to tinker in the shop or to mow the lawn.  There is no substitution for sitting in the presence of God.  There is nothing more rewarding than to feel the love of God when we are quiet enough and still enough to do so.  Whether you and I like it or not, we are created to rest.  Simply enjoying the presence of God. 
     Yesterday I was outside in the "back 40" putting plastic over my newly built greenhouse.  My dogs were there with me to make sure that I didn't injure myself.  They do a better job than Lassie!  At one point the drizzle stopped, the sun came out and it was heavenly.  I stopped (rested) and let the awesomeness of God's creation bath over me.  My dogs, faithful resters themselves, laid down in the grass and went to sleep.  The sunshine was so refreshing, reloading and allowed me to relate anew with the graciousness of God.  There, for the moment, was no past and no future.  There was now.  There were no distractions.  The moment was just with God.  The rest felt good and 10 minutes later I went back to work.  You see, rest doesn't have to be Sunday, the weekend, nights off, or even vacation.  Rest takes place when we sit with God and let him have that time.  No interruptions.  When the time of "rest" has done what it's supposed to have done; it's time to get back to work.  Rest and work compliment each other and should never be seen as the evil of the other.  We have the tendency to put everything into a dreaded Monday and loved Friday framework.  We have the workweek and then the weekend.  With God we have so much more.
     So, here I am.  Wish I was in Maui but even more want to be resting in God.

After all is said and done...there's still work to do.

     Though there are people out there who may think they have arrived; they have not.  The work of Christ for all of us is unending and demanding of our attention.  Do you remember when you first came to Jesus?  Do you remember the moment before he touched you?  Do you remember your life before Jesus?  Do you remember what your priorities were and how they ruled and ruined your life?  Do you remember posing as something other than what you were to be okay with people?  Do you maybe remember weeping over where you were and what your life had become?  THEN, he touched your soul like you have never been touched before!  Electrified with grace and peace washing over you at one and the same time you KNEW for the first time that you were okay.  You were loved and accepted just as you were.  Feeling so fortunate to have the burden of your world lifted, you bowed your head, heart and soul to Jesus who loves you.  Do you remember?  There are many out there who haven't experienced what you have.  Many who are not saved.  Many who face an eternity in hell unless... 
     No, I'm not going to lay the guilt trip on you.  That's not my job and it wouldn't do anything anyway.  I'm not going to remind you what you owe God or your fellow man.  Nor am I going to point out your failings and misgivings.  Those times you felt the Holy Spirit prod you to say something...not going to remind you of that either.  We don't know all that God has planned.  We do know that he has included us in his plan.  Whether it's seen as coincidence, happen chance, or just divine destiny, we are part of God's will whether we know it or not AND whether we like it or not.  Our motivation should be because of His first loving us.  Our motivation should be from a heart of love and not from a heart of fear.  Shaming and guilting others into what they should be doing has never worked and never will work.  I go out of my way for any request that is reasonable from my children.  I would imagine you do as well.  It's called love.  I do it because of love and NOT because of obligation.  Love doesn't have "obligation" in it's definition.  Love is a choice.  When we choose to love we cannot help but remember the sacrifice of Christ for ME!
     Paul says that he does what he does "for the joy set before me" of serving Jesus.  He was beaten, stoned, run out of town, imprisoned, and just about anything else you can imagine as he lived for Jesus.  He considered all of his life as loss for the sake of Christ.  He culminated his life with "it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives within me."  Can I say that?  Can you say that?  Paul's life was always right out in front for everyone to see.  He wrote his convictions so that people would have proof of what God told him to say.  He preached anywhere and everywhere with no fear.  What was the worst that could happen?  Paul knew that the worst that could happen would be he would die and go home to be with the Jesus who consumed his life.  That was my first love.  Over the years I've walked away from the first love so many times that I cannot count them.  He remained with me throughout every time; waiting for the prodigal to return.  Why?  Because he loved me without obligation.  He loved me without demanding.  He loved me without throwing guilt on me.  He loved me when my family, my friends and my enemies hated me for whatever the reason.  Paul knew this.  I know this.
     We have the Bible.  We can read the end of the book and know how this life all ends and begins.  There are no surprises.  We have a guide to life that surpasses everything we can plan.  Yet...we live like we have more important things to do than be in love with Jesus!  We compromise our faith, don't really believe that Jesus can come back at any moment and continue to justify and rationalize the many reasons why we don't carry the love of Jesus to our own lives much less other's lives.  Why?  Because we believe that it's all said, done and if not someone else will do it.  No one can love Jesus for me.  IF I have the love of Jesus in my heart...  If I have truly given my life (all of it) to Jesus...  Should I have the love of Jesus for my fellowman...  Everything is not said and done.  There's still work to be done.  What's your choice?  You know it's your choice.