Why I'm my own worst enemy!

     The simple answer is because I sin.  However, in my life I seem to take the simple and raise it to a new and profound level of complexity.  This makes it easier for me to forget what I've learned and instead of self correcting (like my phone!) a new script is created burying my simple with complexity.  It's not that I necessarily want to do this.  I could use Flip Wilson's claim "The devil made me do it!" and that would be the easy way out.  Not so in my life.  Yes, the devil and his demons do inject themselves in my life to take my eyes off Jesus.  No, I'm not possessed by demons.  Yes, I do sin.  No, it's not what Jesus wants.  My innate want to be the god of my own world is the root of the problem and that's why I'm my own worst enemy.  You may be your worst enemy as well.
     If you, like me, have a sense of entitlement of any kind in your life; sin will be it's center.  Like the need to be right, need to be in control, need to have what you want when you want it, need to put others in their place and have a need to blame; you have entitlement issues even as I do.  Not that I've all the listed items but that entitlement of one kind or another has a root and steals your joy.  I know that whenever I'm in entitlement mode I've pushed Jesus aside and am living in the flesh.  That should be a glaring sign to me.  But, in entitlement mode, I am blinded to all of that.  Whenever my guard is lowered there is the possibility I will be attacked and sin.  You and I aren't so different.
     Rationalization and justification are unfortunately in everyone's toolbox.  Excuses and even self righteousness can be placed in those two words.  Lies? Godly anger?  "Not my jobitis."  are all ways we encourage rationalization and justification.  Do you tell people things in "Christian love"?  Yeah, been there and done that too!  My life of 66 years has been full of more failure than success all because I'm my own worst enemy.  Fortunately, there is the Holy Spirit and my Christian friends who remind me whom I'm supposed to be serving.  It's not the enemy!  Most of us have a "hearing problem" when it comes to our Christian walk.  I know that itching ears hear what they want to hear.  That too is part of my being my own worst enemy.
      When I move away from Jesus living through me, grace to myself and others disappears.  By myself I am nothing and have nothing to offer.  Should I die and let Jesus live through this body, like Paul, I can be all things to all people.  When I'm busy with entitlement issues that cannot and does not happen.  Remember, it's always my choice.  It's always your choice too!

Of course it happened to me!

     There I was minding my own business when Jasmine (my Boston Terrier) came in the house out of breath and very dirty.  That only meant one thing; she had been under my vehicle outside for the sole purpose of chasing a lizard or squirrel.  It would turn out later that the dangerous foe was the latter.  I went outside to check under my vehicles as she has been in the habit of chewing on the wiring to get at the object of her chase.  True to form wiring for my truck's rear lights and the O2 sensor were hanging to the ground.  I had just hours earlier tried in vain to fix the torn wires to my front sensor but ended up ordering a $30 part to fix the problem.  I climbed under the truck only to find my worst fear realized.  The wiring to my taillights was torn loose.  Fortunately I should be able to do the repair.  Frustrated as I was I decided to follow Jasmine to where she was fixated on a bush only to find a half dead squirrel under the front of the bush.  I took Jasmine inside and locked her in the house.
     Returning to the injured squirrel I approached warily and attempted to pick it up to move it outside the rear fence of my property where it made it's home.  That's when it bit me on my right thumb before slowly scurrying away.  I again followed it to the front of my project car where it once again wore out and flopped to the ground.  This time I held a broom above it and seized it's tail gently.  The squirrel (now named Cal short for Clarence) clung to the broom and we moved to the back fence where I put it down on the top of the fence from which it traverses to my yard.  We had a talk and he assured me that he and his family were checked regularly by their family vet for rabies and were not infected.  We agreed that it wasnot wise for him or his family to step foot inside of my yard, my car would be safe and he and his family wouldn't be put in harms way the way his grandfather had met his fate.
     I went into the house to bathe Jasmine and clean up my wound.  I discovered that Jasmine wasn't keen on the agreement I had made with Cal but she would try to fight her natural instincts.  She had numerous bites and scratches on her legs which I cleaned up.  She didn't fight much so she must have known that I was trying to care for her.  I cleaned myself up and bandaged my wound telling myself that I should probably be more careful in the future.  Notifying family and friends brought up the concern for Jasmine, the squirrel and somewhere down the line, me.  In retrospect it's common to my family and friends that I have these things punctuating my history.
     It makes me wonder just what besides patient understanding God is trying to teach me as if that's not enough.  I'm a slow stubborn learner and seem to have these things happen to me because I make choices positive and negative in my life..  It's always my choice.